On The Bridge, a startrek: voyager fanfic

Disclaimer: Star Trek and all of its subsequent incarnations, (including Voyager) are property of CBS Corporation and/or Paramount Pictures. No characters belong to me. No profit made. No harm intended.

Title: On The Bridge

Author: kneipho
Rating: T
Fandom: VOY
Character/Pairing Codes: J,C

Notes: This came to be one night after watching Spirit Folk. I don't know what it is. A not so nice Chakotay POV. Ah well, that's my Fanfiction. Flame on, peeps, flame on!

Commander Chakotay: PADD Meandering
Stardate: Another Day on the Bridge

I am on the Bridge. My brain numbs. I push a button and issue a monosyllabic command. How did I come to this? Shouldn't I be dead? Sweet Mother, I'm bored. No, that's not right. I'm less than bored. I'm apathetic. I am like Leola Root Jell-O served bi-weekly in the Galley: unobtrusive and slightly melted.

"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."*

Many years ago, I assumed tomorrow would never come. My life would end in today —in a blinding flash of painful phaser fire, or an explosion of angry metal and ruby red pools of blood. That was the plan, anyway: My Death for a Noble Cause.

Look at me now: The Old Stale Warrior.

Now tomorrow stretches continuously before me. An overwhelming blanket of black, dimpled with tiny pricks of light.

The doors open and Mighty Aphrodite ambles onto the Bridge. She is back from meeting with the Chancellor, and has motioned me to join her in her ready room. Her hair is windblown and her cheeks are pink from the warmth of the sun. I smile and struggle to rise from my seat. My ass has fallen asleep. Captain Janeway. Kathryn. My Dainty Kate. My Longtime Friend and Estrangement with whom I am lost in space... Entangled deeply in space for years on end... Tethered willing to the Bridge like a dog...

Away from the land.

She is talking to me about the negotiations: speaking to me of the daily events in that wonderfully expressive, sand-sprinkled voice of hers, laughing. The vibrations are tickling my wandering ears.

Kathryn: The repairs B'Elanna needs to make can now safely proceed.

I barely comprehend what she is saying. Even after all this time, I still occasionally find myself distracted by her presence. My familiar, mercurial, Red Hair'd Shrew.

Kathryn: Did everything go well on the ship while I was away?

Chakotay: All flowed smoothly and without a ripple of incident.

It is what she likes to hear. It is the truth. It is why she trusts me.

Kathryn: Would you like to each lunch, here, in my ready room?

I would like to beam to the surface: into the surface, into the burning core of the roundness of the strange planet below.

I would like to flee this mew, this sturdy box of my own promises to emerge Herculean through its turbid walls of silence.

I would like to throw some faceless lover to the floor and end this complacent, benevolent, passive monotony... To feel the return of singing passion racing through my veins. To be free of duty and commitment, of the inevitable, of responsibility, of honor, truth, trust and you... Not you exactly —just the tired monkey of resolve inside me.

Chakotay: Yes, I'll contact Neelix and see what he can develop for lunch.

"How Use doth breed a Habit in a Man!" *

Kathryn: Chakotay, finish that report later. Put it down. I want to talk to you about a possible Warp-Core maintenance overhaul. Coffee, black.

I need exercise. My ass is still tingling. If I beat up Michael Sullivan, would it be unethical to erase the incident from his memory subroutines? After all, she led him around to my territory. Why shouldn't I take a quick pee in her virtual yard? Whoa...I AM INVIGORATED

*Quotes taken from Shakespeare