Because the idea of Aang and Toph teaming up to babysit makes me laugh

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of its characters

Katara scowls at her reflection, trying for the fifth time to latch her necklace without help. She growls in frustration when she can't, but she refrains from angrily shaking her head to prevent ruining the up-do her hair stylists took hours to complete.

A grainy chuckle sounds from behind her, and warm fingers take the ends of the necklace away from hers and connect them with ease. His voice is warm against her neck when he teases her. "Having trouble?"

Katara turns around and looks up to meet Zuko's bright eyes, finding herself calming down rather quickly upon meeting his gaze. She sighs heavily, holding her forehead in her hand and closing her eyes. "Thanks," she says genuinely. "I don't know what's wrong with me tonight." Upon reopening her eyes, she notices the disaster that is Zuko's shirt collar and moves to fix it for him.

"You can't possibly be nervous about the party?" He says incredulously, his eyebrow rising. Katara doesn't answer, choosing instead to concentrate on his shirt. When she finishes, she picks up his symbolic armor from its spot on his desk and places it on his shoulders. When his head reappears, Zuko reminds her, "We've gone to things like this before."

Furrowing her eyebrows, Katara takes a step back. "I know, I know," she replies, evidently frustrated with her current state of mind. "I think…I think I'm nervous about being away from Kya."

Zuko chuckles again, raising his arms and wrapping them around her shoulders, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "You have nothing to worry about," he promises. "She's not a baby anymore, you know. And besides, it's not like she'll be alone."

Katara looks up at him, now smiling slightly. "You mean you got Iroh to come and babysit?"

Confidence wavering, Zuko looks away from her and grits his teeth, drawing his lips back. "Er, no."

"Suki?"

"No."

"Ty-Lee?"

"…no."

Katara pulls away from him, placing her hands on her hips. "If you didn't get any of them, then who…" Her blue eyes widen as she realizes the only potential babysitters left, and she stares at him in disbelief. "No."

Zuko scratches his neck and makes a face. "I'm afraid so…"

Then, as if just thinking of them brought them to his study, the door bursts open.

"Hey guys!" Aang walks in first, all six feet two inches of him. He's grinning ear to ear, obviously ecstatic to be there. "We're here!" Momo sits on his left shoulder, looking much calmer than his owner.

Toph, still leaning against the door frame, waves her hand in greeting, a snarky grin on her face. "'Sup Sweetness, Princess?" She crosses her arms and cocks her head, revealing her cloudy eyes and the mischief lurking within them. "Where's the brat?"

Katara scowls sideways at her husband, her eyebrow twitching. Zuko sees her expression and shrinks, trying to hide himself in his armor like a turtle would in its shell.

After exhaling slowly and calming down significantly, Katara takes the remaining time before they have to leave to explain Kya's nightly routine to her babysitters. Aang listens intently, hanging on to Katara's every word, while Toph seems off in her own world, as usual. Eventually, Zuko manages to pull Katara out the door, muttering under his breath about not wanting to be late.

"Bye! Have fun you two!" Aang yells from the open front door of the palace, waving over and over again at the royal couple as they walk down the long staircase towards the carriage at the bottom. "We'll take good care of Kya!"

Because it's past dusk, light floods from the open door onto the dimly lit porch, making Aang and Toph's shadowy faces hard to see. However, it isn't hard for Katara to imagine Toph's grin. "Yeah, she'll probably survive the night!" The woman in question yells. Katara flinches inwardly; maybe she should stay home after all. She moves to turn around, but Zuko catches her wrist.

"Come on, Katara," he pleads. "They have forty-four years of life between the two of them; I think they can handle a four year old."

Katara gives her home one more reproachful look, then sighs heavily and allows Zuko to lead her to the carriage. "I suppose you're right," she mutters, still uncertain.

Back in the palace, Aang closes the front door, but not before waving at the carriage one more time as the driver cracks the reins, making the ostrich-horses start to move. He turns to Toph, a silly grin still plastered to his face.

"So where's the kid again?" Toph asks, cocking her head. Momo now rests on her shoulder, looking content with himself.

Aang replies, "Sleeping in her room." He smirks at her blank expression. "Katara told us that before, remember? When she was "briefing" us?"

To her credit, Toph's expression becomes indifferent and she shrugs idly. "Eh, I stopped paying attention after she said something about letting us help ourselves to the food in the kitchen."

Aang blinks, having totally forgotten about that. Grinning again, he grabs Toph's wrist and tugs her forward, just like he used to when they were still adventurous children. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Toph usually wouldn't let other people decided for her where she's going or what she's doing, but the prospect of food forces her pride aside and she finds herself jogging behind Aang towards the kitchen, Momo flying next to her head.

They arrive quickly, but what they find is certainly not a large platter of assorted Fire Nation cuisine.

What used to be the kitchen of the Fire Palace has been transformed into some kind of child's play area/fort, with pillow walls built and scattered about and blankets hanging from the walls. Aang searches the room with his eyes, drinking the disaster in in its entirety. Where on Earth are the chefs? He wonders. They must have the rest of the night off. That, or the condition of their kitchen may have given them all heart attacks.

Subtle movement catches his eyes, and he follows it, seeing a mane of wavy brown hair fly behind one of the pillow walls. Soon after, two blue eyes peer at him from behind the pile of cushions.

Toph nudges his arm with her elbow, and when he turns he sees that her eyes are narrowed. "I thought you said she was asleep!" She mutters angrily, not raising her voice above a whisper.

Aang leans down so he's at her level. "Katara said she was," he replies, also whispering. "I had no idea she was awake!"

"Eh-hem!"

Aang stands up straight and looks towards the source of the cleared throat. Sure enough, Kya is still staring at him menacingly, one of her eyebrows quirked. She yells at them from across the room, her voice possessing a slight lisp due to the gap in her front teeth. "Who dares to come here?!"

He doesn't respond instantly, but he does when Toph nudges him again. "Uh…It's me, Kya," he says, pointing to his chest. "Uncle Aang, remember?"

To Aang's surprise, Kya's eyes widen and she jumps to her feet, a wooden spoon in her hand. "Just as I suspected! The Avatar has come to challenge me for rights to my fort!"

Behind him, Toph whistles. "That kid's got quite a vocabulary," she mutters to Aang under her breath. "Iroh's doing a good job teaching her."

Kya notices Toph finally, scowling. She stalks over to them so she stands in front of Toph, her expression hard. "And you," she says, pushing the spoon just inches from Toph's face, making the woman scowl and move her head back. "Who might you be?"

Toph, for a moment affronted by the question as well as the spoon being thrust at her face, quickly regains her composure and, against her typical nature, rests her hands on her knees and bends down so she faces Kya. "I'm your aunt, remember? Aunt To-"

WHAM! The edge of the spoon lands hard on the crown of Toph's head. She stumbles backwards until she lands on her behind, flabbergasted, her mouth agape and her hand rubbing her sore head.

Unfazed, Kya points the spoon at her again. "Liar!" She says loudly, her eyes narrowed. "My auntie isn't that short!"

Momentarily forgetting about her head, Toph scowls hard and bares her teeth, her face red with anger. "You want to die, brat?!" She spits, her hands now curled into white-knuckled fists.

Forcing himself not to laugh at Kya's comment, Aang steps between them, his hands raised peacefully. "Now Toph, let's not fight with-"

Crack! Aang falls like a ton of bricks after Kya's spoon connects with the back of his knee. The young girl raises the spoon above her head, victorious.

"You'll never take my fort!" She yowls, the raw determination on her face looking rather strange being that she's barely four years old. Cackling, she takes a few steps back, now sizing up her babysitters as she repeatedly smacks the head of the spoon into her left palm.

Aang crawls over to Toph, sitting down next to her, his leg still hurting from Kya's attack. What on earth is Zuko teaching his child?

"What should we do?" Aang asks Toph, feeling genuinely confused. "I think we should make a break for it; she's pretty wicked with that spoon."

Toph narrows her eyes even harder, turning her head his way so he can see her disbelief at his suggestion. "Of course we're not going to run away!" She says. "We're adults! We have to show her who's boss!"

Aang frowns and looks at Kya again, flinching inwardly at the look in her eyes. "I suppose you're right."

0o0 Thirty Minutes Later 0o0

Cautiously, Aang peers over his impromptu pillow fort, fearing for his life. He adjusts the wooden bowl that sits upon his head like a helmet, trying and failing to hear the sound of little footsteps coming his way. Toph is squatting next to him, a scowl on her face, her hands curled into hard fists.

The two of them, after realizing quickly that "showing Kya who's boss" was a good idea in theory but was nearly impossible to execute, have relocated themselves to one of the winding corridors that leads to the kitchen, using pillows from nearby guestrooms to build their own fort, just as Kya had done.

After realizing that Kya wouldn't be showing herself to them anytime soon, Aang leans closer to Toph and whispers, "Can you sense her?"

In response, Toph releases a frustrated breath, making her bangs fly up spastically. The spot where Kya hit her head with her wooden spoon is still throbbing. "No," she grunts. "I can barely sense anything, what with these carpeted wood floors."

Aang nods in understanding, then turns his attention back to the corridor before them. His own weapon, a whisk that he'd managed to grab along with the wooden bowl when he and Toph initially fled the kitchen, is raised above his head. Behind him, Momo cowers down, his ears flat against his head.

"This is completely ridiculous, you realize that right?" Toph asks him eventually.

Aang sighs. "I know, I know," he admits, frustrated. He removes his "helmet" and scratches his head. "I thought I was good with kids, but - " Toph interrupts him with a sound of withheld laughter. "What?"

Toph smiles, her shoulders shaking slightly. "N-nothing, it's nothing."

"It's obviously not nothing, Toph."

It takes her a moment to stop chuckling, and with each passing second Aang's face becomes redder. Finally, in lue of answering his question, Toph raises an eyebrow at him and says, "You? Good with kids?" Her laughter begins anew, but she controls it better this time. "Give me a freakin' break; remember that time we had to watch over those kids at that daycare center in Omashu? One of the little girls convinced you to-"

"That was one time!" He interrupts, the heat in his face now threatening the tips of his ears. "And besides, it's not like you're much better!"

Toph raises her hands, showing her indifference. "Hey, I'm not claiming to be better than you. I'm just stating facts."

Aang rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sure that's all you'r-"

Suddenly, the rustling of clothing sounds behind them.

Toph slaps her hand over Aang's mouth, her eyebrows furrowed. Aang braces his shoulders, whisk at the ready. "Did you hear that?" He whispers to Toph through her fingers.

She nods, lowering her hand. "Do you think it's Kya?"

Aang swallows, keeping his eyes set on the area behind them. His own heartbeat is too loud in his ears and he can feel himself trembling. "Dear spirits, I hope not."

For the next few moments, Aang hears no other sounds. He feels as though he's trapped in one of those horror-story scrolls Toph used to make him read to her; how she enjoyed hearing about fictional people being preyed upon like this, he'll never understand. Those stories usually just gave him the willies.

Toph nudges him, and he jumps slightly. "Hey," she whispers, leaning closer. Her breath is warm on his earlobe and neck. "Isn't Kya some sort of firebending prodigy or something?"

Aang clears his throat softly, keeping his eyes forward. "Uhm, what?"

"I said-"

WHOOSH!

Aang barely has time to put his hand on Toph's head and push her and himself to the floor before a whirlwind of flames singes the air their upper bodies had previously inhabited. The flames are thin and timid, evidence that Kya's firebending is still on a beginner's level, but the heat is still enough to cause worry.

When the heat no longer tickles Aang's bald head, he peaks up to see Kya standing down the hall, now using a bright red tablecloth for a cape. Even from here, he can feel her glare burning holes into his face. Frightened, he turns to Toph, who's just now picking her head up off the floor and wiping her bangs away from her mouth.

"What the hell?!" She yells, flustered and confused.

Aang can't seem to find his tongue. It doesn't matter, though, because Kya gives him no time to speak. She sprints towards them, her wooden spoon raised high and a battle cry escaping her lips. Aang rolls over, pulling Toph underneath him and out of the center of the hallway. They land in an awkward tangle of limbs, Aang lying on Toph's back, Toph's front pushed against the carpet due to his weight. There is a sound of an animal screeching, but Aang can't be sure if it's Kya or Momo; when he puts his hands on the ground, pushes himself up, and looks over, both of them are gone.

"Toph," he whispers loudly from above her, staring at the back of her head. "Toph, she got Momo!" He hears her spit, probably due to the fact that he'd indirectly forced her face into the carpet. She ignores his announcement of Momo's lemur-napping.

"Get. Off. Me." Toph says, her tone one that Aang recognizes as her I'm-going-to-hit-you-so-hard-Roku-will-feel-it voice, so he quickly jumps off her and takes three large steps back. After a few moments Toph follows suit, dusting off her green pants.

"Which way did she go?" She asks, murder still weaved into her tone, though this time it's not aimed at him.

Aang points down the hall in front of them, then realizes his mistake with an mental face-palm. "She took Momo and went straight down the hall," he says. "She's probably headed for her fort in the kitchen."

Toph, never one to waste time, grabs his wrist and starts pulling him down the hall, fast. "We're ending this," she says through gritted teeth. "We're ending this right now."

Aang eyes her carefully "Toph…"

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

Aang in all honesty has no idea what she means, but he's going to assume he means that "ending it" means the same as "putting Kya to bed".

When they make it to the large doors leading to the kitchen, Toph moves to the right side of the doors while motioning for Anag to stay to the left. She puts her finger to her lips, though the look in her eyes is enough to silence him without the gesture.

"I'm going in," Toph whispers, moving to open the door.

Aang intercepts her wrist when her hand is close to grasping the door handle. "Alone?" He questions in a similar tone to hers, frowning.

Her expression is flat but her eyes are livid as she turns her head and "looks" at him. "Yes, unless you aren't too pig-chicken to come in with me."

Aang is taken aback by the seriousness in her voice. "I am not too pig-chicken!"

Toph snorts. "Says the guy who was shaking at the idea of confronting a four year old girl."

"Hey!" Aang grunts in reply. He his face starts feeling hot. "I wasn't scared! It was just…cold in the hallway."

"Sure it was," she chuckles.

"It was!"

"Was not."

"Was too!"

Aang doesn't realize how loud he'd yelled until he hears a sound of scrambling come from the kitchen.

"You idiot!" Toph hisses, flicking his head. "She probably heard you!"

Suddenly, the mahogany doors burst open, sending Aang and Toph flying in opposite directions. "Intruders!"

Toph scrambles to her feet and backpedals. "Crap!"

Aang, rubbing his head, looks up to see Kya springing at Toph. He jumps forward, reaching for the hem of her cape and missing by mere inches.

"Toph, look out!" He yells frantically.

While she would have chewed him out for saying something like that to her at any other point in time, her hands are kind of full at the moment, so she ignores him. Toph jumps to the side to dodge the airborne child, but she isn't fast enough to avoid Kya's hand landing in her hair and pulling her headband free, making her long hair fall all over her face. She stumbles backward, hitting the wall and falling to the floor. Kya lands on her feet, the green and yellow length of fabric as well as a decent amount of Toph's hair in her little hand.

Toph and Aang jump forward at the same time, but their targets are different. Aang catches Toph's waist before she can land on Kya and do spirits-know-what to her. "Plan B!" he says, sprinting down the hallway and pulling her with him. "We're getting as far away from here as possible!" He turns down the hall, keeping his hand locked on Toph's wrist, trying to form a plan.

"Let go of me!" Toph protests, digging her heels into the ground. "I need to go back there so I can kill her!"

Aang, if anything, tightens his grip on her. "Why do you think I'm not letting go of you?!"

Snarling, Toph runs with him but still tries to release her arm. Her hair blows out behind her, occasionally landing in her face and making her sputter in an attempt to keep it out of her mouth. "Can we at least stop running?"

Aang is gasping for air. "Where can we stop?!"

Toph motions forward with her head. "There's a broom closet three doors up on our right," She informs him. "At least, I think it's a broom closet; damn carpets."

Moving his gaze to the door she'd mentioned, Aang shrugs. "Good enough for me," he pants. It takes him three more strides to make it to the door, yank it open, and pull Toph inside with him. The moment he shuts the door the closet becomes pitch black, so he ignites a small flame over his palm. He takes a look around the supposed broom closet.

"It would seem," Aang starts, still breathing hard. He observes the shelves that cover three of the four walls, all of which house many full glass bottles. "That you found Zuko's fire whisky stash, not a broom closet."

Toph is breathing hard as well, but she seems to have calmed down faster than Aang. This is odd, being that Aang is an airbender, but neither of them points it out. "With a kid like that, I'd say it's more likely that this is Katara's fire whisky stash." Aang laughs, but Toph's face stays hard. Her hair, now windblown and free of its usual restraints, falls to accent her features.

"So," Toph continues, focused on the problem at hand. "We're hiding in a booze closet, Kya's still on the loose, and Momo is still her captive." Her frown deepens. "Excellent," she drones, her voice dripping with frustration.

Despite the fact that he's standing across from her, Aang barely even heard a word she'd said. He's still captivated by the contours of her face, her untamed hair, and the effects of firelight.

"You know," he breathes, mystified. "You look really nice with your hair down."

Unfazed, Toph lowers her eyebrows as if to peer at him. "We're in a hostage situation, Aang," she reminds him. "This really isn't the time for you to "bust a move"."

Embarrassed, Aang coughs. "Er, sorry." He lets his eyes fall to the floor and tries to ignore his burning face and ears. Idiot.

Toph is indifferent. "So what should we do?" She asks. "I'm all for full frontal assault, but…"

"No," he replies plainly. "I think we should just ask her politely to stop playing around."

"…"

Aang frowns deeply. "What?"

Toph's face twitches and he realizes that she's trying not to laugh. "You're not serious." It's more of a statement than a question.

"Of course I am," he says, offended. Toph allows herself to laugh at that, and Aang thinks that it would be better for his mental and emotional health if he were to extinguish his little flame so he can't see her face.

Suddenly, Toph hits him hard in the chest with the heel of her hand. Aang coughs hard. "What the heck, Toph?" he wheezes. She covers his mouth with her hand.

"Kya's in the hallway outside," Toph whispers.

Aang pushes her hand gently away, grasping her fingers. "You don't think she knows we're in here, do you?"

In answer to his question, the door of the closet swings open and light floods in, making him wince and throw his arm over his face. When the stinging light stops irritating his eyes and he uncovers them, he sees a triumphant Kya at the doorway, her hands on her little hips, Toph's headband wrapped around her forehead, and Momo obediently sitting on her shoulder. Aang gives the lemur a surprised look.

That little traitor! He thinks. She must have bribed him with food. Kya grins wide, and Aang blanches with fear.

"Ah ha!" She yells, pointing at them with her right hand. "I found you!" She takes a step forward and Aang jumps back with an unmanly squeak. "And now that I found you," she continues with a flourish. "You have to do as I say!"

Oh spirits, Aang thinks. What on Earth does she want us to do?

Toph steps forward, a steely scowl on her face. "Oh hell n-" Aang grabs her quickly, silencing her with a hand on her mouth and restraining her with an arm around her waist. She tries to wriggle out of his grip, hitting him repeatedly with her shoulders.

"What do you want us to do?" Aang asks around Toph's hair. He raises his head so her inky strands only tickle his chin.

Kya purses her bottom lip, clearly thinking up some sort of torture for them. But how twisted could a little girl's mind be? Aang swallows, apprehensive. Then again, considering her parents…

Suddenly, Kya captures his gaze. "I want you," she begins in a commanding voice. Aang winces in anticipation. Toph bites his palm in an attempt to escape, but Aang holds on.

Face still serious, Kya finishes: "To tell me a bedtime story!"

Oh spirits, anything but tha–

…

wait, what?

Toph stops struggling, her teeth leaving his hand and her body going limp against him. Aang looks at Kya with wide eyes, his face softening. Of all things, he hadn't been expecting that.

"That's all you want?" He asks kindly. All of this craziness…for a bedtime story? Aang can't help but chuckle at that.

Kya scowls hard and raises her spoon. Aang cowers behind Toph. "Why are you laughing?!"

Aang immediately removes all emotion from his expression, swallowing nervously. "No reason."

0o0

Aang backs away from Kya's bed, smiling at her sleeping form. She's currently tangled in her maroon sheets, looking like she's drowning in a lake of silk. Momo is curled up next to her, purring contently, and Toph's headband is still wrapped around her forehead. When he gets to the door he backs out and closes it as quietly as he can, wincing when the hinge clicks rather loudly. He waits, but no sounds come from her room, so the sound must not have woken her. Thank the spirits.

He turns around and walks down the hall to Zuko's study. The door is open, and he sees Toph lying on the red loveseat that sits across from Zuko's desk, her back against one of the arms and her legs spread across the cushions.

"Kya's asleep?" She asks, sounding exhausted herself. Her hazy green eyes are half lidded and her smirk is calm.

Aang smiles and nods. "Yeah. I had to tell her two stories before she finally fell asleep, though." He grabs her ankles and pushes her feet back so he can sit on the couch, and Toph promptly lays her legs along his lap. Toph lets her head fall back onto the arm of the couch, her long hair spilling over the side of the loveseat and almost touching the floor, and she exhales slowly, peacefully. She's still for a while but he can tell that she's still awake by the occasional curling of her toes. Aang puts his arms behind his head and leans his head back on them.

"Hey, Toph?" He calls to her softly.

She leans up and opens one of her eyes. "Hm?"

His eyes are barely open but he's still watching her face intently. "Do you think you'll ever have kids?

Lazily, she chuckles. The gentle sound resonates in his head and he commits it to memory. "You ask me that after I spend a night with that devil child?" She asks, motioning with her head towards Kya's room. She runs a hand through her hair and snorts lightly and rests her head back again. Aang decides to take that as her final answer, but then she speaks again, quietly, her voice thoughtful: "Maybe."

Aang smiles genuinely. "I'm definitely going to have kids." He pauses, another thought entering his mind. "After I get married, of course."

Yawning, Toph crosses her ankles on his lap. "Got your eyes on a lady already, Twinkletoes?" She asks on the edge of her yawn, sounding blasé.

Aang peers at her through almost closed eyes. He watches her eyelids close, her rather long eyelashes touch her cheeks, and her breathing become peaceful as she falls down the slippery slope towards a restful sleep. He closes his eyes and exhales slowly, content.

"Yeah."

Aaaaand that's it.

If you have an idea for a Taang oneshot, feel free to PM me and tell me about it! I'd love to write for you!

Please review!

-Katiebunchesofoats