Tweek sighed, laying on his back on the School roof, staring at the clouds as they lazily drifted by. He took no particular pleasure from watching them, but he did spend time looking at each one, picking out shapes and images hidden within the fluffy whiteness. It was a way to pass the time, in the peace and quiet of his own company. It wasn't so long ago that he hated his own company, the thoughts that swept through him would torment him, causing him to twitch and freak out at the slightest provocation.
He closed his eyes and grit his teeth as a familiar pain rushed through him, but he stomped it down and refused to let it settle in his heart or his mind. He made his mind count the stars that appeared behind his eyelids, using them as a distraction until the phantom pain finally went away. He sighed once more, opening his eyes and rolling to his side to stare out between the railings. He could just make out the edge of Stark Pond.
He flinched as the loud School bell rang out, the long shrill piercing the calm afternoon and signalling the end of another School day. He probably should have felt bad that he ditched his final class, but he couldn't find it in his heart to feel anything but relief. He rolled to his hands and knees, and crept to the edge of the roof, watching between the railings as students began to flow out of the School doors like a tidal wave, each kid more eager than the last to escape for another evening. Tweek just rolled his eyes, and sat as still as he could as he watched his fellow students sweep out of the School and off to their respective homes. He looked for the familiar blob of yellow upon a blue chullo hat, and when he finally spotted it, he ducked down as low as he could, his eyes just barely peeking over the edge of the roof.
Craig never once looked up, he didn't even seem to notice that Tweek wasn't there at all. Tweek's heart began to twitch worse than his body ever had, almost as if it had absorbed all his twitchy tendencies right into itself, while his mind and body remained numb. The blond boy watched from his hiding place, as the boy he loved walked away without so much as a backward glance, the dark haired boys attention focused entirely on the girl walking beside him. Tweek chuckled dryly to himself, barely even able to shed a tear, after already spilling so many over the previous couple of weeks. It wasn't that he didn't care anymore, only that, he had come to accept that Craig had finally moved on.
Their relationship had been unexpected. It had come from nothing but the fantasies of the Asian girls in the School, their yaoi pictures causing confusion from the moment Wendy revealed them in assembly one morning. However the fake break-up Craig had planned for them had, well, not gone to plan. Tweek had taken to heart the encouragement the dark haired boy had given him, and his improvisations had upset the blue hat loving boy when they made their non-existent relationship and fake break-up seem far too existent and real.
Craig almost hadn't forgiven him, had even sent him away when Tweek tried to apologize, upon realizing the severity of his mistake. Tweek had lain awake the entire night, which admittedly wasn't such a big deal for him, but it was for the first time, not because he was too jacked up on coffee. For the first time, Tweek couldn't sleep, because of a person. Admittedly, before that night he hadn't given any consideration whatsoever to his sexuality, but the subject seemed to have already been decided for him. For although he had never actually been together with Craig, he suddenly couldn't fathom not being with Craig. Tweek had tugged his hair until it very nearly came out, but had eventually trained himself to count the stars out of his window, and drifted off to a semi-restful slumber.
As he had walked through the town the next morning, he wasn't sure who was more upset about his not real relationship having fake broken up; himself, or every adult in the entire town, or so it seemed. He had been most surprised when a blue obstruction stood in his path. Upon raising his eyes from the ground, he had found the blue obstruction to be Craig, offering him his hand. Tweek had barely hesitated, the unease in him suddenly gone, as his hand slipped into Craig's. They had walked across the entire town so that everyone could see them. It had been the best day of Tweek's life. From that day forward, the two were inseparable. They played games, went for walks and dates, even bought a Guinea Pig together. Tweek's most cherished memory was of Craig taking him out at night, the day they had bought Stripe, where he taught him the constellations and went into great detail about his dreams to one day go out into space.
And then suddenly, three years later, everything had changed. Tweek didn't like to think bad of people, but he blamed the new girl entirely. From the moment she arrived, with her long dark hair and her infinite knowledge about space and basically everything that made Craig tick, Tweek had felt the distance between them grow. It started with simple things; Craig wouldn't wait after class for him to catch up. He stopped keeping him a place in the lunch line. He stopped coming by the coffee shop when Tweek was working. He stopped coming by his house to randomly ask him to go look at the stars. It was almost as if Craig had completely forgotten Tweek by this point. Tweek couldn't remember the last time they had held hands. Hell, he couldn't remember the last time they had spoken. Tweek clenched his fists, his eyes stinging as he held back the hurt and betrayal in his heart.
"I hate you." He whispered to Craig's shrinking silhouette. "I hate you, because you made me love you so goddamn much." He sighed and tried to push the negative feelings away, knowing it did him no good to dwell on them. "And then you just... disappeared." He murmured, shivering as a minor twitch ran down his spine. He chuckled, grinning dryly. Of all the things to stop his constant twitching, it was Craig breaking his heart.
Tweek sighed and made a last sweep of the School entrance, before he got to his feet and grabbed his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder as he finally made his way to the fire escape he used to clamber up to the roof a little over an hour ago. He couldn't stand to sit through any classes he shared with Craig anymore. He blindly moved through the School, now empty save for the stragglers and those kids who just couldn't get enough of School during School hours and so signed up to the after hours clubs. Tweek noticed none of them, his head low and his eyes turned down to the pavement as he trudged his way to his shift at his parents coffee shop, hoping that one day, the pain of losing Craig might not eat away at him so constantly.
As Tweek shuffled his way through the streets of South Park town, he couldn't stop his thoughts from turning to the dark haired boy he wished were currently holding his hand, talking about such nonsensical and simple things like the constellations he hoped to see that night, or his dreams about being an astronaut. Or, as was more realistic when walking with Craig, the comfortable silence of someone who didn't feel the need to fill every second with needless words.
Tweek wasn't the biggest talker, preferring to let others talk over him rather than speak up himself. Craig was of the mind that if something absolutely had to be said, then he would say it, but with as few words as he could possibly get away with using. Tweek giggled to himself, remembering one of those times that Cartman's weird bunch of friends had tried to talk Craig into a second 'adventure' with them. The noiret had quite literally, shut the door in their faces. Tweek had laughed hard enough to fall off the couch, holding his sides as he tried in vain to contain himself. Craig had even offered him one of his rare smiles as he watched Tweek struggle to regain control, and it was one of Tweek's more cherished memories.
Of course, he wasn't biased; Craig could still be as scary as hell when he was pissed off. The boy had a reputation for being a fighter, and though Tweek had only fought him once himself, something which had only strengthened their original friendship, he had certainly seen the other boy in many a fight since. It wasn't as if Craig went out of his way to fight, it was just that if someone happened to piss him off enough to warrant an actual emotional reaction in him, then the boy would decide that merely flipping them off wasn't going to cut it, and his fists would do the talking for him. Tweek hadn't noticed right away, but he did eventually realize that most of the boys Craig fought now, were the ones who started picking on Tweek himself. It made the blond feel a rush of gratitude, to know he had a friend who would stick up for him; but, that friend was lost now in a sea of black hair and a billowing skirt. He wasn't sure if Craig didn't know that kids were starting to pick on him again, or if he just didn't care anymore.
Tweek jumped as he realized he had made it to his parents coffee shop already, never once having looked where he was going, his feet had led him down the familiar path whilst his mind had walked through his own memories. Sighing heavily, he shifted his backpack and stood straighter, wincing at the loud jingle of a bell as he pushed through the door to Tweak Bros Coffee, with what felt like a stone weighing down his stomach.
"Hey there Tweek, looks like you're outta coffee there son." Tweek rolled his eyes at his fathers overly cheery greeting, the first twitch of the entire walk here escaping as his irritation spiked.
"I'm fine, I had some just before I left school." He lied, ignoring his fathers offered cup as he pushed past towards the stock room.
"Well now hold on just a minute there, son." Tweek tried to duck around the counter quickly, hoping to avoid whatever it was his father had to say, but the weight of a large hand on his shoulder prevented his escape. "I just, I wanted to tell you how very proud of you I am."
"It's fine, you told me." Tweek muttered, refusing to look back at his father. "I know."
"No, no son, I want you to have this money." His father insisted, shoving a crisp note into Tweek's free hand as he leaned over his son. "I'm just, I'm so proud of you, being gay and all."
"I know! You told me okay!" Tweek burst as he spun around to glare at his father ferociously, his heart hurting even as his eyes stung with the pent up pain and frustration he had been carrying around ever since Craig had disappeared from his life. "You have a gay son, you're so proud! I know!"
Tweek drew a deep breath suddenly, a blue hat striding quickly into view outside the shop. A moment later, a dark head hurried along behind it, as if trying to catch up. His heart stopped, his eyes glued to the two as the dark head managed to make the blue hat pause. He stared for a whole heartbeat, before he realized that if he stayed where he was, then he would have to see them, speak to them, together. He couldn't handle that, it was too much pressure. He needed to leave, now. "I'm sorry dad! I'll, I'll be out the back!" He broke free of his fathers hold and dashed through the door to the stock room just as the main door jingled, his breath coming in rapid gasps as the onset of a panic attack began to nibble at his mind.
I can't stay here! Tweek thought desperately, his eyes darting around the room as if his ever present twitching had returned full power. He jumped at the sound of his fathers voice through the door, his jolly and carefree tone of voice sounding way too happy for Tweek's liking. He knew that any minute, he would ask Craig if he wanted to come back here, and he couldn't stand to wait and hear the boys flat voiced response.
Biting his lip, he quickly locked the door and dropped his backpack on the hook behind it, before he then hurried over to the far side of the room. His fingers fumbled as he tried to prize open the latch to lower the ladder. "Nnng! Gah!" Tweek cried, his nerves jumping erratically as he glanced back at the door. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself enough to pull out the latch, but at the sound of footsteps approaching the door, his heart almost broke from his chest, and he simply slammed the thing as hard as he could with the palm of his hand. The ladder crashed down before him, and Tweek barely contained his scream of fright. The door handle rattled, and Tweek jumped, spinning round to face the door in terror.
"Hmm, that's strange. Let me just get my keys." Tweek's fathers distinctly daydream-like voice carried through the door, and Tweek could just make out the footsteps that led away from the door.
"Ack!" Tweek gasped, tugging at his hair briefly before he realized that he was wasting time. He spun quickly and grabbed the first rung he saw, hurriedly pulling himself up the ladder as fast as he could. His breaths came rapidly, his heart racing as he quickly raced up the ladder, and fumbled briefly with the hatch.
"Here we are then." His fathers voice called through the door, and Tweek thought his head might explode from all the pressure building in it. He hastily drew back the bolt that secured the hatch, before pushing up and tugging himself through the hatch. He spun around and slammed the hatch shut, neither caring if it was heard nor thinking past anything but his own need to escape. He ran across the roof, to the fire escape ladder on the opposite side of the building. He took a deep breath, struck for a moment by the amusement that this was the second time he was climbing down a fire escape so far today.
Tweek heard a faint pounding from behind him and he twitched hard enough he almost fell off the roof. "Gah!" He squawked, before hurrying onto the ladder and speeding his way down it. It was almost funny that mere months ago the action would have terrified him, but now the only fear he felt was of seeing the blue hatted boy he had come to care for so much, and his new girlfriend.
As soon as Tweek's feet hit the ground, he was running. He could feel the pressure in his head, in his heart, in his lungs, all clamoring to try and paralyze him with fear. But Tweek didn't let himself stop, Tweek ran. He forced his legs to move, to keep moving, even when he couldn't focus on the direction he was running. He couldn't allow himself to stop, because if he stopped, then the pressure would make his head explode. He ran so fast, he couldn't tell if the sound of a flat voice laced with hurt calling after him was real, or just a wishful figment of his imagination.
Tweek couldn't stop, he couldn't turn back. He ran until Tweak Bros Coffee shop was long behind him. He ran until his house was far behind him. He ran, until South Park town was far behind him, and he found himself alone by Stark Pond. Only then did he finally stumble to a halt, bending over with his hands on his knees as he panted for breath. He forced himself upright, glancing around as if to make sure he really was alone. With breaths that still stuttered and rasped, he sat on the nearest bench, his blood racing, his legs shaking, his head pounding. But most of all, as he tipped his head back and looked up at the darkening sky above him with eyes that stung with un-shed tears, his heart was breaking.
He lost track of time, staring at the sky as the stars began to show against the steadily darkening background behind them. He didn't think he would be worrying his parents though, guessing that they would likely not even notice he wasn't home, so utterly in their own world as they were. He had no desire to return home, his nerves shot from the earlier close encounter at his parents coffee shop. He couldn't risk having Craig waiting there with that girl, couldn't give the other boy even the slightest chance to break up with him. For he was certain that was why the noiret boy had stopped by the shop, to hammer in that final nail to the coffin that was their fake relationship.
Tweek couldn't handle that, the finality of having lost Craig. At least at the moment he could cling to the memories he had of their time together. If he let Craig say that it was over; then he wasn't sure how he would manage to cope with the infinite loneliness again. Sure, they hadn't exactly spoken for awhile, but their relationship was a link, something that made him strong. It made him a part of Craig and Tweek, but without it, he was just; Tweek.
Sighing heavily, he pushed himself to his feet, shivering as he suddenly became aware of the cold night air around him. He hesitated only briefly, before he slowly began to make his way towards the town once more. He wasn't entirely sure of where to go yet, but the movement at least helped his stiff muscles to stop aching quite so much.
He knew that both Token and Clyde, while good friends, would immediately call Craig, so they it wasn't an option to go to either of them. He couldn't go to any of the girls, they were way too keen to insert themselves into his business and they would meddle almost as much as Token and Clyde. The very idea of going to Cartman for help with anything at all, almost had the blond laughing out loud as he trudged along. The fat boy was the cause of probably ninety percent of the problems in South Park, and rarely ever the solution. Kyle and Stan, were admittedly better options than Cartman, but the two ended up in way too many weird scenarios for Tweek's liking, they were way too stressful for him to deal with at the best of times, let alone when he was already feeling so vulnerable.
He briefly entertained the idea of going to Butters for help, but he quickly dismissed the idea, figuring it would only get the young boy grounded unnecessarily. When it came to fucked up parents in South Park, Tweek would certainly claim his were some of the worst; but the Tweak's would always come second place to the Stotch's. They grounded Butters for some of the stupidest reasons and Tweek showing up asking to spend the night would certainly be yet another they would jump upon.
"Gah! Oh, Jesus!" Tweek groaned, as his list of options narrowed to a single person. He didn't think Craig would look for him over that side of town at least, and he knew he wouldn't be turned away, but it did mean having to put up with an entire evening of Kenny McCormick's innuendos and attempts to hit on him. He sighed and rubbed his arms with his hands, plodding in the general direction of the poor boys house.
He took a detour past the Church and then cut through the park, as opposed to taking the quick and straight route past the School, which would ultimately lead him past Craig's house. He sighed forlornly, wondering once more how he could have let things fall into such a complete and utter state. He looked up at the night stars, thinking about things he could have, or perhaps should have done differently. The times he ran away because the pressure was too much. The times he embarrassed himself, and no doubt Craig too, with his twitching, his random screeching and his constant fears that concerns that there was someone nearby just waiting to kill him.
Although, those things hadn't exactly stopped, but they had faded. Perhaps it was because he was drinking less coffee, perhaps it was that his parents crazy shit just didn't bother him that much in the light of losing Craig, but whatever it was had made his unique blend of crazy that much easier to handle. At least now he could anticipate when he was going to have a panic attack, and he could find somewhere to lock himself up until the worst was over. It wasn't exactly easy to go through alone, after having had Craig hold his hand through so many, but it was better than letting everyone see just how much of a freak he still was deep inside.
"Hey Tweek." A sudden voice in the darkness around him made Tweek's heart rate sky rocket, feeling as if he had just jumped clean out of his own skin from fright.
"Gah! Oh Jesus, I'm gonna die!" Tweek gasped, stumbling to a halt as his eyes widened almost comically and he darted his eyes around as if expecting to be stabbed by an invisible assailant any second.
"Dude, chill out man." Came the voice again. "It's just me."
A rustling above him made Tweek look up, and he screamed as a shape appeared on a branch above him. "Nnngh! Gah!" He hurried to step aside, ready to bolt the second the shape revealed themselves to be dangerous. However, as the shape swung down from the tree and landed neatly before him, he immediately noticed the orange parka and familiar cheeky grin aimed towards him. "Jesus dude! Don't do that to me! I thought you were gonna murder me!" Tweek cried, trying hard to calm his frantic breathing.
Kenny chuckled quietly, holding his hands up in apology to the older blond. "Sorry dude, but you were pretty out of it. I never meant to scare you..." Tweek raised a brow, imitating one of the more blank stares Craig was known for. His heart ached at the thought of the dark haired boy. Kenny laughed again, rolling his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck as if caught in a lie. "Okay, okay, so maybe I did mean to scare you, but only a little!" Tweek rolled his eyes as the blue eyed blond laughed, raising his arms to rub at his arms and try to warm himself. The cold night air was chafing when he wasn't moving. "So, what are ya doing in my neck of the woods anyway, Tweekers?"
"Man, don't call me that." Tweek groaned, hating the nickname that the other kids had given him in middle School. Kenny sniggered to himself, apparently quite content to cause Tweek any embarrassment he could. Tweek seriously considered just going home after all, but the thought of facing his oblivious parents and having to explain himself to them, or worse to finding Craig there, soon had the idea successfully crushed. "I was actually coming to see you." He admitted with a sigh.
"Ooh, were you gonna come and sweep me off my feet? Offer your undying devotion and..." Kenny paused, his hands drawn up to his chest like a damsel in distress. However his lips were curled into a mischievous grin, and his blue eyes held a wicked glint within them. "Let me plow that sweet ass of yours at long last?"
Tweek groaned, his hands drifting to his hair in frustration as the younger blond laughed loudly at his own teasing. "Dude," Tweek protested weakly, tugging lightly at his hair. Kenny just shrugged in good humor, waggling his eyebrows before he threw his arm around Tweek's shoulders and began to lead him back towards his home.
"Okay, fine, I'll behave. But only if you tell me why you wanna come and hide out at my shit hole of a house." Kenny said, his sharp eyes watching Tweek closely even as he kept half an eye on the pavement before them.
"Its, kinda a long story..." Tweek hedged, squirming to get free of the handsy younger blond. With a roll of his eyes, Kenny relented and removed his arm from Tweek's shoulders, knowing that too much touching was a bit of a trigger to the older boy.
"You best get started then," Kenny said slowly, as he raised a brow as he stuck his hands in his pocket. "You're lucky that it just so happens I love long stories..."
A/N~ Mmkay, I'm kinda pissed off tbh - I mean, this was supposed to just be one big one shot; and now its at least a two-shot because it got so big and TWEEK WOULDN'T JUST GET ON WITH IT!
Seriously, this was supposed to just go up as one big one shot and then Tweek was all "oh but FEELS" and Kenny was all like "ooh, sexy!" and I just, well anyway; this is part one - I hope to have part two ready in a couple days. provided the boys behave -_-
Anyway; I wanted to thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this opener! Please let me know what you thought in a review, and even have a guess what you think might be coming, or just give a thumbs up and let me know if you would even like the second chapter :)
x My love to you all x