Riko sat on her couch head down, staring at her feet. She didn't want to look up to meet the glares of those two girls. She didn't want to see the betrayal in their eyes.

"You won't even look at us?" the older woman sneered. The disdain in her voice was palpable. Riko knew she was in the wrong. She didn't set out to lead either girl on. Looking back she wasn't even sure how it happened. Or maybe she was lying to herself again.

"Look at us." The other woman demanded, tapping her foot impatiently. "You disappoint me Lily."

Riko shot her head up, but still couldn't speak. Two sets of eyes that once looked at her with such love, now only bore through her with their cold, steely gazes. She felt naked, bare and disgusting.

"I guess none of this meant anything did it?"

"No!" she yelled desperately. Then more quietly, "No, it meant so much. I didn't mean for this to happen, Dia-san, Yoshiko-chan. I love you both so much."

"Bullshit." The older girl spat out.

"No it's true!"

"How did you even think this would end?" Yoshiko began. "How long did you think you could keep stringing us on before we'd find out?"

"I'm sorry," Riko was near tears. "I couldn't help it. I needed you both."

"You insatiable slut." Dia stamped her foot. "Which of us was it? Which of us did you start seeing first? And which of us began as your fucking toy?"

"Neither of you were a toy to me." she choked out, feeling as though she was set to burst. Please don't make me do this, she wanted to plead.

"Which of us was it Riko?" Yoshiko demanded. Riko felt a stabbing pain at the sound of her own name coming out of the younger woman's mouth. Of course she wouldn't be Yoshiko's 'Lily' after this.

"Yoshiko-chan and I had been sleeping together for a couple months when Dia-san asked me out for the first time. I was going to end things with Yoshiko-chan, but I couldn't. And then some months later Yoshiko-chan finally wanted to go steady."

"So what this is my fault now? How dare you Riko!"

"You just couldn't bring yourself to commit!" Riko suddenly found herself on her feet, angrily shouting back.

"I couldn't commit?" Yoshiko gestured angrily. "You're the one who can't commit. It was just sex. We'd agreed to that. There wasn't anything to commit to! And then when there was something to commit to it turns out you were already seeing someone else!"

"So I was just your second choice?" an unsteady voice broke through. "I was just a whim while you waited for something better?"

Riko turned to Dia as the older woman slapped her. She had tears falling down her cheeks.

"Dia it isn't like that." She pleaded.

"You keep saying that."

"It's true I was sleeping with Yoshiko-chan. I wanted something more but it just wasn't happening. I'd always admired you Dia-san. You were this perfect woman I could never hope to measure up to. To think that after all these years, someone like you would even consider being with someone like me? I was overjoyed." Riko couldn't take back what she had done, but she endeavored hopelessly to explain. "I know I should have ended things with Yoshiko first. But even so, when I was with you I felt so much happier than I could have imagined. I fell in love with you Dia-san. It wasn't fake." she pleaded pitifully. "You have to believe that."

Riko placed her hands on Dia's shoulders.

"And yet you were in love with Yoshiko the entire time." Dia glared at her through her tears.

"…Yes." Riko admitted reluctantly. Dia stepped back and turned away from her.

"I thought I knew you Riko."

"Even now you can't make a decision can you?" Yoshiko asked quietly. Riko looked between the two angry, hurt women who were standing before her. How many years had they all been friends? How many memories had they made, that she now had callously thrown away? If she could take it all back, if she could stop herself from hurting these two who meant the world to her she would. But,

"I'm sorry. I can't." she sat back down and began crying into her hands.

Dia and Yoshiko sat down on either side of her, unable to hold back their tears any longer as well.

"I just love you both." Riko sobbed desperately. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

This one hurts.