Wedding Vows Are Cheesy
To Melinda,
Wedding vows are cheesy. They always are, the always have been, and they always will be. And I shouldn't have to sit here and make a bunch of promises that don't need to be said to-
You are the reason why birds sing in the mornings. Because it's the only way this man upstairs knows how to wake up
You, are the reason the sun sets in such bright colors. Because you work so hard, it's the only way the universe can tell you the day is over.
You are the cause of a babies laughter. Because you hair is so puffy and wonderful, it brings everyone joy. And if a babies laughter causes fairies to be born, then you have created a million fairies and counting.
You are the reason I occasionally have to sleep on the couch. Because I say something stupid, and you get pissy about it, even though it was just a simple joke. And then I sleep on the couch, because I was wrong. And then there is the occasional moment I'm right. Then I sleep on the couch because I'm a jackass.
But those nights I am worthy of your bed are the best. Because we're good together. We do great things together. We conquer worlds together. Exciting worlds, that make our bodies feel pleasure and excitement we never dreamed of. I never went near the world of blowjobs until you came into my life. And I don't care if your family is here. I want the world to know that Melinda Warner gives a blowjob from heaven. And, for that matter, is the best tasting thing I've ever eaten. And for that, baby, I thank you.
But it's almost not fair. Because for every pleasure you've given me, I feel like I have to go out of this universe to return the favor. How can I possibly repay you for alll those wonderful nights, because certainly anything I do cannot compare with the things of a goddess.
But I will try. I will protect you, I will comfort you. I will never leave you until the moment I die. Because I love you. It's true. And even if we never explore those wonderful sexual worlds again. Even if I have to call the couch my bed from this moment out, I will stay faithful to you. My true love.
My best friend. And as long as I live, our friendship will never end.
I know it's cheesy, but isn't that what wedding vows are supposed to be like? Besides, it's true.
I love you.
Felinda fluff, because I felt like it. Hoorah. I hope you enjoyed, my friends.
Kimblee Whitehead, we're done here.