Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter...I am just one weird little bunny who likes to write Random Things for fun.

AWESOME NEWS! This is my 60th Fanfic!

This was prompted by a random conversation...see if you can guess...

Join the Dark Side…

~)0(~

"H-Harry?" came the high, strained voice of the Weasley beside him, "I'm…I'm scared." The tone trembled slightly, as did the hand that was hanging close to his own; Hermione remained silent, but her eyes were wide enough to project a movie in an IMAX theatre…

"Me too, Ron…Me too…" he confided in a low, gravelly whisper, not quite sure how to take what was going on… Loosely bound to chairs, the trio had awoken in, -what appeared to be- a Muggle Kitchen with depressingly bland white everything…and a grinning Voldemort.

Let's recap… A grinning Voldemort.

They were right to be terrified…and yet, not once had he tried to harm them; not once had the thought seemed to occur to the Dark Lord that, considering they were at his mercy, he might as well…you know, get on with the 'killing them' part of the plan. On the contrary, after he'd freed them all –though fear was paralysing enough to keep them in place- he had then done the strangest thing…

He started to spruke off some pre-prepared spiel that gave them the impression it was like a nineteen-fifties recruitment video for some big-shot Muggle Corporation… "And there are many advantages to joining the Dark Side that I am certain none of you have ever even considered…for example-…" Voldemort paused as there was a great 'Ding' heard through the room. It stifled Harry's, "What on Earth is going on here?" alongside Ron's, "Are you mental, why would I join the Dark Side? Hang on, is that-…?" and the way Hermione smacked him for thinking of his stomach at such a crucial time…

With a flick of his wand, Voldemort's arraignment changed to a more…unique outfit, to be sure. Two giant, padded oven-mitts of a strange aquamarine adorned his hands as the Dark Lord popped open the oven door and snatched at something inside...
The Trio compressed themselves into a single unit, close enough to meld into one another…who knew what in Merlin's Name the crazy wizard had in that oven!

Whirling about in a rather dramatic display that showed off his lovely frilly pink apron –that hadn't been there a moment ago-, Voldemort was again beaming. "For example…we have cookies!" he said with a peppy showman-style tone; which was quite concerning if your name currently ended in Weasley, Potter or Granger.

For a second…no one moved, nor dared breathe…

And then, Ron broke the ice, stepping forwards and snatching a cookie with an inquisitive, "Well, I'm convinced! What other benefits are there to being evil…?" which sent Harry and Hermione into identical fits of surprise and a tinge of horror. Hermione shouted, "RON! How could you throw us –your best friends and the fate of the generalised Wizarding World- over for…for…for a flipping cookie!"

Ron looked peeved, "Hey, there's still a tray-full, not like I ate them all or anything, and anyway…you can still join… These are delicious, by the way!" he complimented a suddenly-blushing Voldemort…though how that was possible, no one knew. Harry's lips parted to emit a clever retort…and snapped shut as he lost his train of thought and a high squeak erupted instead, exceptionally embarrassing when your arch-nemesis is in the same room. Voldemort waved it off with a definite, 'Don't worry about it, happens to all of us!' air. Hermione was again at the attack, "And what on Earth do you think the Dark Side could possibly offer that would make us drop all our principles, all we have struggled to gain, to join it?"

Ron gave them a good showing of half-chewed cookie bits as his mouth fell open to respond…but instead, it was Voldemort who answered, still smiling. "The Dark Side has Draco Malfoy…"

It was impossible to tell if it was Harry or Hermione who stepped forwards faster, screaming, "Sign me up!"

The End.

If you guessed, "Come to the Dark Side, We Have Cookies!" you were correct.

Hope you liked it, please REVIEW.

~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire*~