A/N: This is an AU story that doesn't really have any meaning. And unless you like cats it's probably pretty boring. Hey, it's probably boring either way, not much of a plot. Oh and Jane kinda doesn't exist as a person, hard to explain, you'll see if you read it.
After the initial introduction it's more or less just a long-ass series of flashbacks. I wrote it a while back, but wasn't going to upload it, but then I had nothing to do and did a proofreading of it and thought I might as well put it up here, I mean it's not like I'm forcing you to read it if you're not interested.
The title is a play on fairytales, a bad play I know.
And I know that Robin/Lisbon is a dog person, but I love cats, so deal with it!
Disclaimer: I'm the proud owner of a cat but I can't say the same about the rights to The Mentalist.
It had been a long day when Lisbon finally made it home to her apartment. As soon as she unlocked the door she was met by an accusatory whining.
"Hi sweetie. You hungry?"
She was answered by a loud "Meow" and a cat that began purring as it seductively traced around her ankles.
She reached down and petted the cat gently, which only made it meow more insistently. "Okay, okay let me just get my coat off first." She said and shed her coat on a nearby chair, before she made her way into the kitchen in search of the much coveted cat food. Behind her the cat followed faithfully in her footsteps.
She opened a cupboard and produced a can of tuna, found a can opener and got started on it. She put it in a bowl and put it down on the floor. It didn't take the cat two seconds to start gobbling it up. She smiled and ran her hand from it's head to it's tail: "Slow down baby, the food is not going to disappear on you." The cat wasn't listening, being too busy devouring it's meal.
Lisbon went up to her bedroom and changed into her PJ's then came back down to the kitchen just as the cat was finishing up. She opened her fridge, looked over the near empty shelves, pushed some stuff out of the way and grabbed a two day old takeout box with some leftover Chinese food in it."This will have to do," she said but scowled displeased at the contents. The cat looked questioningly up at her probably wondering if there were some extra treats for it in there. Lisbon reheated her food took a bottle of water and headed straight for the couch. She set the food down on the wooden coffee table turned the TV on, and put her feet up. Then she poked the assorted noodles and meat, taking a few bites before she left the rest to sit on the table. She weren't that hungry anyway. She got up went into the kitchen yet again, threw out the remaining food and made herself a good strong cup of herbal tea instead.
She returned to her couch and snuggled up with a blanket and her very decorative throw pillows that her cousin had bought her to brighten up the place. The cat being done grooming himself, spotted a chance for warmth and jumped right up on the couch to her. It nuzzled around a bit until it found the perfect place to claim as his own. Then it settled down spreading it's limbs in all directions.
She had to laugh at her little charmer, he was such a character.
She had never really thought of herself as someone owning a pet, and definitely not a cat, with her job being what it was, with long and ungodly hours, that was probably also why she hadn't settled down by now. Most women her age would have been married, or divorced at least, have a couple of kids, maybe a dog and a house in the suburbs. But not her, it was like there wasn't anyone suited for her in this universe, so she'd chosen her career, and she hadn't once regretted it, she loved her job! Being the team leader for three great agents, catching bad guys, what more could you want in life.
xXx
Then this little guy had literally wandered into her life. It was just a kitten when it showed up at her doorstep. It had been raining, she was coming home from work, and was greeted by a little wet and ruffled haired kitten. It had sought shelter under the little half roof at her door. And had then looked at her with big adorable eyes. She hadn't meant to take it inside, but as soon as she opened the door the cat darted inside and took cover under her couch. "Sure come right on in why won't you." She had said sarcastically and looked at the little ball of fur huddled under her furniture, then she had sighed and gone into the kitchen, finding a bowl into which she poured some milk. "Here you go." She had crouched and put it down, looking expectantly at the cat, who looked back at her, judging whether or not to take her up on the offer. Cautiously it came out from its hideaway, creeping across the floor until it reached her. It sniffed her hand a few times, and being satisfied with what it found, it started drinking the white substance with pleasure.
She changed sitting position, but she must have been too quick because she startled the little animal so it jumped, and when it landed again it was with its two front feet planted directly in the bowl, which in turn tipped over, and what liquid hadn't splashed all over her spilled on the floor. "Dammit." She exclaimed and the cat hastily sought refuge under her couch again. Seeing it all bright eyed and bushy tailed she softened a bit and her voice mellowed "Don't be scared, it's okay, I won't hurt you." He looked at her with slightly distrusting eyes, not moving. She got up, found a dishcloth and started cleaning up the mess. When she had finished she proclaimed with half a smile "See, no use crying over spilled milk." The cat who hadn't moved, but had followed her every movement with his big yellow eyes, cocked it's head at her remark as if it had understood her.
"Well..." She said "You can't stay underneath there all night. I have to go to bed to get up early in the morning. Don't get me wrong it was nice having a house-guest for the evening, but you must have a home to get to somewhere out there, someone that misses you." She looked at the cat "Great, I'm going crazy, I'm talking to a cat now." She shook her head in disbelief at her own sanity or lack of it. "I really need some sleep."
On the coffee table her phone suddenly made a shrill noise and the little fur ball darted in a straight line for the door, which unfortunately was closed so it crashed right into it with a loud bang. "Oh no you poor thing." She ignored her phone - for once - went over to the door and picked up the slightly dazed and dizzy cat, went over to the couch again and sat down with it on her lap. Luckily it hadn't been that bad of a bump, it wasn't even bleeding. She gently stroked its soft fur and nuzzled its head where it had made contact with the door. "Now that wasn't very smart now was it?" The cat meowed in agreement, and after a minute or two it started purring. Not long after the soft animals calming sound had lulled Lisbon to sleep, and she didn't stir until the alarm on her phone woke her up the next morning.
She almost bashed the phone off the table in her attempt at silencing it, which eventually succeeded. She stretched and opened her eyes, wondering why she'd spend the night on the couch. She sat up and then she remembered the cat, a quick look around her apartment told her he wasn't there, at least she couldn't see him anywhere, there was no trace of it. Maybe it was hiding under some of her other furniture, or maybe she had just dreamed the whole thing, she had been pretty exhausted. But a quick look in her sink confirmed that she did in fact have an unexpected visitor last night, unless she for some reason had been drinking milk out of a bowl, and she knew she hadn't been that tired.
She searched for ten minutes before she gave up and went upstairs to get ready for work. When she came into her bedroom she noticed it was considerably colder in there than in the rest of the apartment, and that's when she saw that the window, which she could have sworn was closed, stood slightly ajar. Not enough for a man to crawl through, but the wind could and it sure looked like it had had a field day in there, blowing around some of the papers that had been laying on the bedside table. She sighed. There was a few stray cat hair on the windowsill, the cat had obviously wandered around the house at night and then slipped out of the window at some point. She closed the window, not wanting to invite anymore stray animals in than necessary in.
She went to work, and when she returned home that night, lo and behold, there at her front door the cat was standing, patiently waiting for her. She looked down at it surprised and asked "What are you doing here again?" It looked up at her innocently. She furrowed her brows and her tone hardened a bit. "Don't think you're coming inside again, it's not even raining tonight." Of course the cat didn't listen, and as soon as the door opened it was inside yet again, but this time it casually walked around like it owned the place. She smiled despite herself though her voice held warning. "Don't get used to it." The cat walked in front of her to the kitchen, then sat down and waited for her to enter as well. Expecting to be fed like it was the most naturally occurring event. "If you keep this up, I'm going to have to buy some real cat food." She said jokingly, but in the back corners of her brain she could hear her mother's voice: 'Never feed strays, if you don't want them to come back.' Still she fed the little thing, and herself, and in return she was allowed to pet it. The following day the same thing happened. And again the next and the next. Until it became routine and she didn't think about anymore.
It didn't have any tags or tattoos and there weren't any 'missing cat' posters up in the neighborhood, so having gotten used to having him around, she decided, against her better judgment, that she would keep him. Going all in, she bought an extra supply of cat food, hoping that the cat wouldn't choose to suddenly abandon her. But her fears were in vain because as soon as she'd taken the decision it was as if the cat had known about it instinctively, and that's when it decided to not only come at night and leave in the morning but also stay during the day. She would come home and it would be sleeping in some odd but warm place. She would smile, happy having someone to come home to. As soon as it heard her it would come running, meowing and purring wanting to be fed.
xXx
For some reason this cat had chosen her as its human. And she felt she should be honored, with cats being as independent as they are. Now all she needed was to find a suitable name, she couldn't just go around calling him kitty, like she had done so far, it was too mundane. It had to be something classy, yet practical, not overused or ugly, not too long and not too short. In the end the name she came up with came to her rather coincidentally, but seemed fitting nonetheless.
It happened on a normal day, she was in the kitchen making coffee and she heard a loud crash coming from the living room, it was her new houseplant that her youngest brother had just bought her a week ago. She ran in and saw the cat innocently standing on the windowsill looking down on the floor like 'what is that thing,' 'it wasn't standing where I am now a minute ago,' 'Nope I didn't do anything,' and the words "Dammit Jane, what did you do?" flew out of her mouth of their own accord, she had no idea where they came from, they just seemed to have been resting on the tip of her tongue and rolled of it quite naturally. At first she thought it strange, she didn't even know anyone named Jane. And though it normally was considered a girls name it seemed fitting somehow, like it had always belonged to the little feller, and who decided what was a girls or a boys name anyway? From here on out she declared the name 'Jane' to be unisex, how was it any different from names like Kim, Drew, Taylor, Casey, etc. A name was a name, and people's reasons for naming well anything were their own business, to each their own as long as nobody got hurt that's what she believed in.
Her team whom she from time to time told about the cats escapades just shook their heads at her choice of names, but somehow when they met the little critter it made perfect sense, they all thought so, but they couldn't tell you why. He was this little thing that always seemed to get into big trouble, yet he was the most adorable and easily lovable cat ever. His coat was a bit scruffy at times, but it could also be shiny at others. He had grey fur with tiny stripes of black mixed in with it, but the tip of each foot was all white, like he was wearing tiny socks, he looked like a little gentleman in a grey suit. 'Pinstripes' she called him sometimes, as one of his many nicknames. He was a smart cookie and he had already proved to be loyal, loving Lisbon as much as she adored him. To the point where he became someone she couldn't imagine not being in her life.
Cats forge bonds, but they have no masters. They are said to be mystical and dark creatures, antisocial and not as loyal as dogs, but as long as you love them with a pure heart and treat them with respect they'll be as loyal as any dog and they'll love and respect you right back.
A/N: I don't condone wasting good food just because I write about it.
See how I worked "Jane" in there. Every universe with a Lisbon deserves a Jane.
I think I wrote this 'cause I miss my cat, who currently isn't living with me.
Sorry if it was too boring.