Disclaimer: (n) From the latin prefix dis, meaning "not" and the root claim, meaning to declare as one's own. A passage or section in a piece of writing declaring that the author does not own the characters, ideas, or settings in said piece of writing, and that the author does not gain any material profit from writing it.
Dedicated to everyone on ff.net that has written a Pirates fanfic, for inspiring me to write it in the first place, even if it's not quite the way you might think.
Rebel
Chapter 1: Furious
"Jack Sparrow!" crack! The sound of flesh forcefully meeting flesh hung in the air on the docks. "How dare you show your dirty, slimy, conniving, thieving, lying, traitorous, ugly face here again!" He grinned suggestively, not put out in the slightest by her fury.
"You didn't think it was ugly when we—" crack!
"How dare you!"
"Listen, Anamaria—" He ducked as her palm swung toward his jaw again. "It was for your own safety—" The pirate captain took a few steps backward, balancing precariously on the edge of the dock as the black woman advanced on him, eyes narrowed dangerously.
"And Tortuga is safer than a ship manned by a bunch of slack-jawed idiots answering to your own fine, noble, loyal self?" she hissed. "Tortuga of all places, Sparrow! I was fucking pregnant, you moron!"
Thankfully for the alarmed pirate captain, his crew had long since departed for the pubs. If they had been anywhere in the vicinity, they most certainly would not have passed up the opportunity to poke fun at the comical figure their leader cut. Although his clothing—leather boots, dark trousers, loose white shirt, linen vest and overcoat, and various bangles and sashes tied about his person—would have made him look dashing at any other time, at the moment he only looked ridiculous. The image of him trying to edge away sideways from the woman who had, until about eight months ago, been part of his crew, would make even the most poker-faced pirate burst into laughter.
"It was only temporary!" he tried to defend himself. "A ship's no place for a pregnant lady—" She stomped a few more paces towards him, trapping him at the end of the dock. He continued doggedly on as her eyes blazed even brighter. "And we've come to collect you now that you've had the kid—"
"So a ship's no place for a pregnant lady, eh? Now that I've had the baby you want me back, eh?" she asked, her voice suddenly sly. With a feeling that he would live to regret it, Jack slowly nodded, hoping "yes" was the right answer. "Then my son and I will be waiting on the Pearl for you tomorrow morning."
"Good, yes, you'll ditch the kid and what was that now?" Jack did a double take. She raised her hand threateningly and he cowered. "Aye, you an' the babe'll be on the Pearl when we sail in the morn." He smiled charmingly at her, trying to get back into her good graces. "So what's the lad's name? Jack junior, right?"
Anamaria scowled at him, placed both of her hands firmly on the pirate's shoulders, and pushed. With an undignified squawk, Captain Jack Sparrow, dread monarch of the Black Pearl, fastest, most feared, and most successful pirate ship in the Caribbean, tumbled backwards into the dirty water of Tortuga's docks.
***
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
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Please review!
Barbossa's his name,
Cap'n of the undead crew,
And he'll come and start maiming,
If you don't review!
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But I'm afraid I'm all out
Of rhymes for this game!
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Whenever you please,
And may your dog never get
A dead camel's fleas.