Replacement

After all, Puck knew Relda before the series began. His take on her replacing him with a couple of stupid girlies.

Family/Angst (Hurt/Comfort), Puck, Relda

Hallo, my dearest, darling friends. Long time no update. My excuse? I am lazy. And left this fandom a long, long, long, long, longlonglonglonglong (repeat as many times as you can), long time ago (in a galaxy far, far, away). In fact, I probably would not have posted this at all if not for ceaseless pestering from my friend, TheQueenofValenciaTorgue. So you can all thank her. This is an edit of previously posted Puck's Version, only put in a one-shot. Oh, and keep in mind, my characterization of Puck is very complex. After all, he is the older, lesser-favored son who has been alive since before Shakespeare but chooses to remain a boy. Also keep in mind that this is before he met the Sisters Grimm. All rights go to Michael Buckley. References go to their respective authors.

With that, dear readers, I leave you with a few more words. Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak! Dig in!

It was a lovely day in the woods. The densely packed trees provided a cool respite from the blazing sun, casting shadows upon the ground. Larks chirped occasionally, the only noise other than the summer wind that rustled through the leaves.

Quietly landing on a branch of a tall maple, Puck retracted his wings, the slight thud of his feet upon wood masked by the breeze rustling through the greenery of the forest.

The boy's dirt-streaked face and muddy clothing provided near-perfect camouflage in the woods: the faded emerald of his hoody blending nicely with the color of the vegetation; the grime that caked his skin the same color as the forest floor; his naturally blonde curls tinged a dingy brown. The sticks, leaves and dead plants stuck in his locks added to this effect, and rendered the boy nearly invisible when he chose to stay still.

Not that he often did so for very long.

Peeking out from between the green maple leaves, the tip of his nose barely peeping past the trunk, he gazed at the woman standing in the middle of the forest path. Relda Grimm's hands were planted firmly on her hips. Underneath the skirt of her turquoise dress, her stance was wide. Her favorite fuzzy sunflower hat was perched on her head.

"Puck!" the old lady cried out. "Puck, I need to speak with you, leibling!"

He watched her in silence.

"Puck!" she shouted again. Relda waited for a moment. Then she sighed, and spoke in a normal tone of voice, seeming to sense his proximity. "Puck, I have important news." She paused. "I know you can hear me." No response. She continued. "Usually, I would just say what I have come to and go, but I would like to tell you this in person. Will you please come out?"

Puck tilted his head to the side, considering. On one hand, he was slightly curious as to what news she had. If it really was important, as she said, he wanted to know what was going on. On the other hand, no one bossed the Trickster King around, not even old ladies as awesome as Relda.

"I'll give you a cookie!" Relda added. She hesitated. "And a plate of pancakes!"

That settled it.

Puck waited ten more seconds, just to show her that he was not coming out because she wanted him to (even if he actually was), but because he had nothing better to be doing.

Popping out his wings, the boy jumped from the limb, intending to land lightly behind the woman and scare the living daylights out of her. However, he forgot to factor into his leap the fact that there is more than one tree in the forest.

"OW!" he shrieked, running into a branch. (His shriek was very manly, not at all high pitched and girly, of course.) "My eye!"

Cover blown, Puck landed on the ground, falling to his knees. He grasped his face, screaming in so-called-agony. "The tree has poked out my eye! Away, foul demon!"

Drawing his sword with his left hand, Puck staggered to his feet. Right hand still covering his injured eye, the boy charged the "foul demon," flailing the wooden blade wildly.

Reaching the offending trunk, Puck hacked at it, only to have the sword bounce off the trunk and hit the other side of his face. He dropped the blade and fell to his knees again, clutching his head once more.

"Owwwww," he whined. "That huuuurt."

A hand gently touched his shoulder. Puck started. "Who is coming to attack me when I am weak?" he screamed, abruptly letting go of his face.

Relda knelt next to him, laughing lightly. "Are you all right, liebling?" she asked. "The tree walloped you pretty hard."

Puck turned away, sulking. "I have no interest in dealing with people who mock me. Be gone with you, churlish creation!"

"Come now, let me see."

Puck shook his head stubbornly.

"Puck," she said, a warning tone in her voice. "Let me see."

"Fine," he grumbled, "but only 'cuz you asked nicely."

Relda grasped his chin and turned his head to face her. She tsk-ed. "I've seen worse. One time, my Henry broke his arm because he ran into a door!"

Puck forgot his pain and stared at her wide-eyed. "He did?"

"Yep. You've only got a black eye. He had to have a cast for two months."

Puck giggled. (In a manly way. Manly!) "How stupid could you get? Running into a non-moving object and actually injuring yourself?" He leapt to his feet. "I would never do such a thing! For I am the mighty Trickster King! Not even inanimate objects dare to wage battle upon me for fear of destruction!" The boy picked up his sword and pointed it to the sky in a heroic pose.

Relda smiled bemusedly. "Of course. You would never do such a thing. Only idiots would run into something like a door, or a tree."

Puck lowered his sword sheepishly. "Well, maybe some non-idiots would run into trees…" Realizing that he almost sounded soft, he hastened to correct himself. "But not doors. That'd just be stupid."

Relda let out a loud guffaw.

Quickly, Puck changed the subject. He hated it when people laughed at him. Straightening his posture to the point of ridiculousness, the boy threw his head back and proclaimed in his most noble voice, "Peasant, why have you called the Trickster King to counsel today? I trust it is a matter of utmost importance."

Immediately, Relda stopped laughing. "Oh, right," she said. "My news."

Seeing the seriousness in the old lady's face, Puck relaxed his back a bit. His posture was now what could be called normal, respectful even. His eyes fixed upon Relda, truly observing. She seemed sad. That wouldn't do.

"It affects you, in a way. See, I have decided that—"

Puck interrupted her, finishing her sentence incorrectly. "You decided that I need a raise? I agree. My paycheck for being awesome is far too low as it is. I shall accept your offer under the terms that I do no work and receive at least five thousand dollars a week."

This startled a laugh out of the woman. "No. I cannot afford that. Wait, a raise?"

Puck nodded briskly. She was smiling again. Good. "In that case I will allow you to continue paying me in food. Be grateful I am awarding you this opportunity."

"I pay you in food?"

"Yes," Puck smirked, "you do."

"I was not aware of this." Relda wore a bemused grin.

Puck feigned confusion. "You weren't? But you were the one who instigated the contract in the first place!"

"I did?"

"Yes. Upon first inviting me into your house, you said," he put on a ridiculously high voice in a crude imitation of Relda's, "'Puck, as the most awesome being in existence, you deserve some sort of paycheck. As no one else has yet recognized this in their stupidity, I shall be the one to foot the bill. You will be paid in food and affection. All you need to do is continue your involuntary wonderful-ness and overall amazing-ness.' Don't you remember?"

"I don't think that's quite true…"

"Do not be silly, mortal, my recall is perfect! If you did not decide to give me a raise, it must have been something else. Continue with your news!"

This time, Relda did not seem as dejected when she began speaking. Much better.

"My two grandchildren, Sabrina and Daphne Grimm, are going to come and live with me."

What? Puck's smile froze in place as the blood drained from his face. The old lady had grandchildren? How come she hadn't mentioned them before? Why hadn't he met them? Was he not as important to the old lady as he thought he was? Why did they need to live with her? What if she forgot Puck completely? With them here, she wouldn't need him anymore. Where had these kids even come from, anyway?

"Why are they coming to live with you?" he asked softly. That was a safe question. No emotions involved.

"Their parents – my son Henry and his wife, Veronica – went missing two years ago. They were kidnapped." Relda's eyes grew teary. Puck's heart jolted. He had never met Henry, but he had heard so many stories, and the old lady loved him so much—no. He had to stop being emotional over this. She was replacing him, and that was that.

Relda continued. "Since then, the two girls have been shunted from foster home to foster home, never staying somewhere for long, never trusting anyone, never having a home, can you imagine?" Gee, Puck wondered. What it would be like to not have a home? To live in the forest or on the streets, never trusting anyone? Hmm. Let's think about that one. Could he imagine that? Why, yes, he could. He could imagine that very well, thanks.

"Anyway, I applied for custody, and… well … I won, Puck! My two granddaughters are coming to live with me! Isn't that fantastic?" The old lady's eyes cleared of the tears that had accumulated upon the mention of Henry and began to shine with excitement.

Puck's heart sank even further. She was never this excited for him. He rolled his eyes. "Whoop-dee-doo. What fun. Two squealing girlies moving in. And how does this affect me?"

Relda looked surprised at his coldness. Haltingly, she responded. "Well, it doesn't really, I suppose, liebling, but I thought that–"

"You thought what?" Despite himself, Puck felt a surge of hope rising within him.

"Well, the eldest girl, Sabrina, is about your physical age. Maybe you two could be friends." The hope came crashing down. Relda didn't want him to visit her, she wanted him to visit some strange girl he had never met.

"I doubt it. She'll probably be some simpering girly-girl whom I'll hate on the spot. Are we finished here old lady?"

Relda seemed taken aback. "I suppose we could be, but normally you come over for cookies after we talk, and I made–"

"In that case, good bye. I've got someplace to be." Puck snapped his wings out and flew away, flew away quickly, leaving the old lady standing there alone, bewildered and a little hurt.


Puck landed in the middle of a clearing some five miles away. He wiped away the tears that had leaked out of his eyes as he flew and were slowly making their way down his face. But they wouldn't stop coming, and coming, faster and faster until finally Puck collapsed to his knees, sobbing.

The old lady was replacing him. Just like everyone else that Puck had ever cared about. Every. Single. Person.

They always replaced him, or favored someone else.

His parents favored his younger brother, Mustardseed.

Mustardseed favored Cobweb.

Cobweb favored Puck's friends.

Puck's friends favored one another.

Heck, the entire world favored Peter Pan, and Peter was just a sissy who ran around in tights hanging around little kids' bedrooms at night! (Actually, that might be why they favored him. Peter Pan and Edward Cullen. Both creepy stalkers that hung out with glittery people.)

And now the old lady had found her biological grandkids. Girls that were probably funnier, and cheerier, and generally less annoying than Puck. Less demanding of their grandmother. Just better than he could ever be, no matter how hard he tried.

The boy took a few deep shuddering breaths attempting to relax, to calm down, to control his stupid emotions. His tears slowed, then stopped entirely. But as the grief began to trickle away, rage began to replace it. The girls thought that they could take his place, did they? They had better think again. The old lady was his.

Whipping out his flute, Puck blew a low note, then played a rapid ascending chromatic scale, ending in a high, piercing trill.

"Pixies!" he yelled.

Immediately the air around him filled with glowing lights. Several hundred of the creatures blanketed the trees surrounding the area while the rest hovered in front of the boy, watching him.

"Yes, my lord?" one of them spoke.

"Our territory is being invaded!"

The pixies began to buzz angrily. Those who had landed rose several inches off of their surfaces. "Invaded! By whom?" another pixie asked, echoing the sentiments of the entire group.

"Two young, evil girls. Two girls that have dared to steal Relda Grimm away from us. Two girls that have now been declared enemies of the peace. Two girls that will be dealt with accordingly."

An evil grin crept onto Puck's face. "Pixies!" he shouted. "We are going to war!"

So. That's that. Shout out, as always, to those who have reviewed, favorited and followed me. I promise you nothing. Unless you are in the Hetalia or Superwholock fandoms, in which case I vaguely wave my hand and say "Eh."

Bye bye!

K