So, I was very emotional yesterday when I first heard this song. I've had it on repeat since then and still do.

While listening to Rust or Gold by Jill Andrews this entire scene came to me and I just had to get it down.

If you haven't heard the song, you must. As a matter of fact, go ahead and find it before you begin reading and play it while reading.

I could not, for the life of me, find it on Youtube so I bought it on iTunes and it was the best decision I have made in a while. The best decision I've ever made was, of course, watching Castle four years ago.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one-shot and leave comments :)

Rick turned his key and entered his loft. His right hand reached blindly for the door behind him and he pushed it closed. He stared at his bedroom door. The streetlight lit his room in a dim light. His door was almost half way open. He could see Kate's lower legs on the bed as she lay face down on her side of the bed.

He knew something was up.

Rick's laptop case thudded against the floor as he let it drop from his grip and walked to his door, pushing it completely open. "Kate, what's wrong?" He sat beside her on the bed and placed his hand on her shoulder. She didn't move. "Kate, please talk to me," he said as he brushed back the strand of hair that lingered in front of her face, "Kate, you're scaring me. What happened?" He brought his lips to her ear and kissed the spot just below it, "talk to me."

He lifted her chin to look into her eyes. Her eyes were sad but still she smiled. Her figure, dark. Her hair tied in a loose ponytail. Kate sat up, pulling the sheets over her legs. Their eyes locked. "The job offer in DC. I think I'm going to take it." She finally spoke.

In that moment he wished she hadn't.

"Okay, well, I have to talk to my mother about this. And Alexis."

"Castle."

"Alexis has always wanted to live in Washington-"

"Rick." She looked at him. Her eyes held his.

Hopeful.

"Don't," he spoke softly, "don't you do this, Kate. Not now." Rick blinked away building tears.

Kate took a deep breath. "Castle, please don't make this harder than it has to be."

"I could come with you."

"No." Her quick response shot through his heart. "Rick, Alexis's home is here. I can't ask you guys to up and move just for me."

"Just for you? Kate-"

"Castle, I'm not a part of this."

"A part of what?"

"Martha, Alexis," Kate broke eye contact for a moment. She looked down at the rug bedside his bed— the warm 'welcome mat' that made her feel safe just as she stepped into bed and laid beside him night after night— and closed her eyes. She let the memories rush in, but; only for five seconds. That was all she was going to give it, "you. You guys are a family. I'm not a part of that."

"You're not a—"Rick angled his body so he was facing her. All of her. "How can you say that? You are a part of this family, Kate. You've always been a part of this family."

"What if I don't want to be?"

Rick broke eye contact. He stood up and turned away from her. Rick took a few steps until he reached his window. Staring out, his vision became a blur. The raindrops upon his window didn't help. Neither did the tears that streamed down his face.

A year had gone by when Rick began to lose hope. He swore he'd do everything he could possibly do to make it work and he had done just that. He never gave up. He didn't want to say it but he knew this battle was lost. When Kate took the job in Washington he felt like his entire world had fallen apart.

"Kate" Rick turned back to face her, "if you didn't want this, you would never have stayed this long. For God's sakes, Kate, our 1 year anniversary is in less than a week and you're pulling out now?" He turned one last time, his right hand rested on the window sill while he stared straight ahead. Kate on his left, the window on his right.

Kate stood up and took a few steps toward him. "Rick, I have to do this. It's a great opportunity for me to get away from everything."

"From me?"

"No!" Kate's eyes began to fill, "Rick," Kate took another step until he was close enough to touch. "I love you," she said as she hugged him.

Leaving her no time, Rick stepped back and released himself from her grip. "No. You don't get to have closure. I won't let you. If you are going to leave me, you're going to have to do it on your own. I am not going to try and make this easier for you."

Kate stood alone with her arms beside her.

"Dad?" Alexis called from outside his door.

Rick did not move. He sat at the edge of his bed. Replaying that night over and over in his head for the past 7 years took a toll on him.

Alexis knocked on his door and opened it slowly when no answer replied. "Dad?" she said as she saw the figure at the end of the bed.

"Yeah?"

Alexis walked in, leaving the light off, and sat beside him, "I'm home." She gave him a small smile and quickly stopped.

Rick turned to his right and looked at her. He smiled.

"I'm home for the summer."

Rick looked at her in confusion, "you are?"

"Yeah, I am. So what's on our agenda this summer? Water-skiing in Thailand? Back-packing through Europe?" Alexis stared blankly at him. "Just, no Paris."

He lifted his arms and wrapped them around her, pulling her close. "It's good to have you back." His kissed the top of her head. "So, tell me," he said as she got up and pulled him up, leading them out of the dark, "how's the life?"

"Max is good. We're doing well. It's nice actually."

"I said life, not wife."

Alexis looked at him, "dad."

"Sorry," he smiled.

His smile quickly faded. He looked at the cardboard box on the floor.

"She hasn't called?" A shadow fell over her demeanor.

"Hmm?" Rick forced himself to look away and to his daughter.

"Kate. She hasn't called?"

"No."

"She will. I know her. She loves you, dad."

"Yeah," he said quickly as he looked back at the box. "Hey, do you mind taking your grandmother's things upstairs?"

"Yeah, sure." Alexis made her way to the box and picked it up. The sound of the front door opening caught her attention. "Dad? Wait, where are you going?"

The door closed behind him.

Rick took walks occasionally. Lately, he felt like there was no joy in it anymore. In anything. Rick remembered a case he had worked in the earlier years. A nanny. Rick walked by the playground and placed his arms in the spaces between the bars. "You used to take your daughter to the park?" Her voice echoed in his head. "Pssh, spring, summer, fall, we were here every day.. What?"

"Nothing, I just never figured you for mister mom."

"Those were the best days of my life."

Rick watched as mothers chased their children. As children chased other children. Eventually, the mothers gave up and began to laugh with each other. In that moment, a friendship was born. Rick smiled. Still smiling he turned to continue his walk when something grabbed his attention. He froze mid-turn and his smile faded. He looked back at a woman in the playground. Her long, light brown swayed in the wind. The sun illuminated her skin. She sat on a swing as she overlooked the sandbox.

"You have 5 more minutes and then you have to go, okay?" She called to a boy in the sandbox.

Rick watched her sit there for a moment.

"Kate," a dark-haired man called.

She looked up at the man and smiled—God how he missed her smile.

The man walked to her and sat on the swing beside her. Kate looked at him. She did not speak, she just stared at him. Eventually, she looked down. Her smile disappeared but returned a moment later when he began to speak.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm great. Do you mind just getting him into the car?"

"Not one bit." The man stood up and began toward the sandbox, "come on, little man. Time to go."

Rick watched as a little boy with golden-brown hair came out of the sandbox with his shoe in his left hand. Kate turned her head quickly away from them. Her lower lip twitched. In that moment Kate saw him. Standing there with his hands in his pockets, Rick watched the boy jump into the man's arms and looked down. Kate saw him fight back tears as he turned and began to leave.

"No." Kate whispered to herself. She took off, leaving the swing rocking in the wind. "Castle!" She called to him. He continued walking. Kate sped up to reach him. When she did, she didn't know what to say. She stood still behind him.

Rick turned around. His eyes were dark. The skin just below them had swollen up and turned dark.

"I was there, you know, at the funeral." Kate broke the silence. "I'm so sorry, Rick."

He didn't speak.

"I know it was hard for you. It was hard for me too. She was like a mother to me."

"That's funny; last I remember you didn't want to be a part of the family." He tone was cold.

"Rick—"

"No ring, huh? Afraid of commitment?"

"What?" Kate's voice cracked.

"That boy. What is he like, five years old?"

Kate looked back at her son as he used the step to get in the back seat of her car. "He's six and a half." Kate said.

Rick looked at the man as he buckled the boy in, "wow, you work fast." After a moment Rick brought himself to look at her again, "I happy for you guys."

"Rick, that man is my brother." Kate looked at him, "the only reason I went to Washington was to find him before Bracken found out about him." She swept a piece of hair behind her ear, "the man that offered me the job, he was a part of the team that my mom was. He got out before anyone could identify him. He told me I had a brother. He told me that my mother's death was staged. That Conan was hired by Bracken but they bought him off to fake her death. She was planning on attacking Bracken from the side when he would never see it coming. My mom found out she was pregnant just a few weeks after everything happened. She died during labour but they got the baby out."

"Wha—why didn't you just tell me?"

"A week before I left, I found out Bracken had bugged the precinct and my house. I couldn't take the chance of it slipping out. I needed it to look like I was leaving for the job."

"And it had to be seven years, Kate? Bracken was arrested three years ago. He's in for life."

"Castle, I couldn't take the chance that he had outside men waiting for me. I need to make sure everyone would be protected once I got back. But none of that matter when I heard what happened. Rick, I came as soon as I heard the news."

"My mother funeral was a week ago, Kate. If you were back, why were you still hiding?"

"I don't know. I didn't know what to do." Kate looked at her son for a moment and then back to Rick, "but I do now." She held her hand out to him, "come with me."

Rick grabbed her hand with no hesitation and she led them to the car. She stopped just a few feet from the car and let go of his hand. "Jamie," she said as she reached out her hand for him. The boy untied himself and leaped out of the car, reaching for his mother's hand and he took it.

The boy suddenly became shy and hid behind his mother, holding her leg with both of his little arms. Kate's hand moved to his shoulder and she pulled him closer. She kneeled down and wrapped one arm around him, "Jamie, this is your father."

Rick's eyes shot up from the boy to Kate. His face, shocked yet graceful.

Rick got on one knee and stared at the boy. "He's mine? He—" Rick's eyes shined bring in the sun, "he's ours?"

Jamie took a step forward and stared Rick in the eye. Rick blinked as a tear fell to the ground. Jamie quickly took two more steps and crashed into Rick's arms for an embrace.

Kate smiled at him as she watched him hold his son. Their son.