A loud yowl sounded out across the clearing. CloudClan sat in the center, worry creasing their faces. Another screech tore through the air. With every new sound the Clan grew more and more restless. One light brown warrior she-cat paced in front of the nursery, tail lashing like a snake. Her eyes were afire with anger. Every few steps she stopped to knead at the ground, tearing up clumps of grass. A blazing yellow-red tom stood century at the opening of the den, but it wasn't hard to see the anguish in his eyes.
A silvery she-cat turned to her clanmate and whispered. The pacing she-cat stopped and arched her back. Her yowl rang across the camp.
"What was that, Heronsong? What were you saying?" The accusations burned in her stare. Heronsong crouched back and slipped into the outer reaches of the camp. The brown she-cat snarled and continued her pacing. A black and brown tom rose from the center of the group and walked over to her.
"Quailfeather, you didn't need to be so hard on her. She had a point. Baileybreeze has been in there a long time." Cricketwing softened his gaze and wrapped his tail around her shoulders, "It's been a long day. How about we go back to the warrior's de-"
Quailfeather tensed at his touch. But the familiar weight of his tail soothed her into compliance. Slowly she turned from the nursery entrance. Cricketwing lead her across the clearing. As soon as the two cats disappeared into the den, a small black and white head poked out of the den. Huge, terrified, golden eyes searched the clearing before retreating into the den again. Another wail came from the fallen log, this time quieter and weaker than the last.
Inside the nursery, a pale she-cat lay writhing on a bed of moss. Her cream coat was soaked in sweat. The blue eyes of the medicine cat standing above her blazed with concern and worry.
What happened to the perfect pregnancy? The lack of complications? Baileybreeze was so excited to have kits… And Sunblaze would have been the perfect father.
Rainshadow bent over the pale weakening shape beside her. Nudging Baileybreeze's rear end, she sighed. She raised onto her weary paws and slipped over to her harb pile. Really, this action was out of habit more than anything.
There is nothing in this StarClan given world to help her.
The bitter thought almost startled her. But her mind was right. There was no herb in the forest that could fix what was happening.
Suddenly, a screech tore through the den with renewed energy. Rainshadow whirled around and lunged at Baileybreeze. A kit! The head of the massive kit pushed through first. Rainshadow jerked into action. Honeypaw, her apprentice, lept to help. Her delicate front paws kneaded the prone she-cat's belly. Rainshadow grabbed onto the kit. As Baileybreeze heaved, and Honeypaw pressed, the kit loosened, slowly sliding out.
Finally! Rainshadow nipped the sac off of the dark kit.
He wasn't breathing.
NO!
Rainshadow refused to give up. She pressed on the kit's chest in steady rhythm. Suddenly, a coughing fit gripped the kit. She breathed a sigh of relief. Rainshadow turned back to Baileybreeze, leaving the little tom to Honeypaw.
Her paws froze. The bundle of cream and white fur wasn't moving. The nursery was silent but for the mewls of the newborn kit. Baileybreeze wasn't screaming anymore… she wasn't making any noise. Her chest lay still. The only thing moving on her was her belly, the squirms of her unborn kits weakening. Rainshadow let her head fall. She lost her.
She tried to shoulder her way out of the nursery, but Honeypaw stopped her.
"Where are you going? There are still kits in there!"
Rainshadow glared at her apprentice, her stomach a pit of anger and sadness. "There is nothing we can do. What do you want me to do? Without Baileybreeze pushing, the kits will not come out. Focus your energy on the tom we managed to save. He has a long fight ahead of him without his mother."
"NO! We can't just leave them!" Honeypaw cried, "There has to be something we can do! If you and me push on her belly maybe-"
"Stop! I don't want to hear it! The world is full of "what ifs" and "maybes"! We can't live by each one! You have to learn when to quit. That's just a part of life, medicine cat or not."
Rainshadow shouldered her way out of the nursery. As soon as she entered the hollow, she was swarmed with the rest of the Clan. Each cat had a different question regarding Baileybreeze and her kits. Rainshadow couldn't take it. She bowled over the cats in her way and raced out of the clearing.
The rest of the cats stood, speechless. What could have gotten in to their medicine cat?
Honeypaw stood over Baileybreeze's lifeless body. Her paws thumped rythmicly on her body. She had to try. They may have lost the well-loved queen, but there was no way she was going to let her kits die too. Beneath her paws she could feel the movements of the kits getting weaker. Honeypaw gritted her teeth. She didn't want to do this, but…
She stopped thumping and stuck her head out of the nursery.
"Hazlefeather! Come quick!"
She retreated back into the nursery and continued her compressions. Hazlefeather squeezed her body into the nursery, her kits safely with the other Clan members.
"Hazlefeather. I wish I could tell you this in a different circumstance, not so rushed, but… Baileybreeze is dead." Hazlefeather let out a small sob, but Honeypaw cut her off. "I know. But I really need you to do something for me. Before she died, Baileybreeze had a kit. I need someone to nurse him and keep him out of the way while I do this. You had your kits the most recently; I'm hoping you have enough milk."
Hazlefeather nodded and layed down and nudged the kit towards her. Satisfied, Honeypaw turned back to Baileybreeze. She could no longer see any movement from the kits. Her legs felt like they were made of grass and river stones all at the same time. She wobbled but struggled to take a step forward. She knew what she had to do, but that didn't make it any easier. Finally, her legs listened to her brain. She walked over to the stone-like body of the once-beautiful queen and flipped her onto her back. Hazlefeather looked up with a puzzled look, but when she saw Honeypaw's claws slide out, it changed to a look of horror. Her squeak of protest was drowned out by the sound of ripping fur. Honeypaw cut open Baileybreeze's belly. After a moment, she scooped out two tiny kits. One of them wasn't moving.
"Hazlefeather, please come over here. One of the kits isn't moving. I need you to get the other and clean him up."
Hazlefeather looked on blankly for a moment, horror still shadowing her face. After a second, though, her body moved as if of its own accord. She padded over and started licking the kit. Breathing a sigh of relief, Honeypaw began to groom the motionless kit roughly. When that didn't work after a few moments, she started pressing on her tiny chest. A few times she spluttered a cough, but eventually lay still. Honeypaw felt a moan bubble in the back of her throat. After everything, Baileybreeze and her daughter still died. Her legs buckled underneath her, and she fell into the moss. Hazlefeather leapt to her side, having both kits contently napping in a small nest on the other side of the nursery.
"Honeypaw- what's wrong? Oh no, oh poor dear. This wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself."
Honeypaw looked up at her with a dead look in her eyes. "I should have done more. I should have saved her… Now we have to bury two Clanmates."
Hazlefeather looked at her in sympathy, but was wise enough to know not to say a word. Only time could heal some wounds.
Outside the camp, Rainshadow paced in a small clearing. Her claws dug into the wet earth. The scents around her infuriated her. It was newleaf! A time for life and birth! This never should have happened, not now, not in her Clan. The rustles of prey brought her to her senses. She fell into a hunting crouch and watched the edges of the clearing. Even within their Clan, death happened every day. No one really noticed, it was just the way of life. But when you really thought, life was delicate. It was given and taken away in an instant.
With that thought, she pounced, landing on a plump vole. The pounce was perfectly executed, and the landing ended its life. Rainshadow looked down on the prey and noticed- it's plumpness wasn't just because it was well-fed. With a grim nod, Rainshadow supposed it was fitting. She picked up her quarry and began the trek back to camp.
As the trees passed by her in a blur, Rainshadow thought about her Clan. How would she tell them? There's no gentle way to tell a whole Clan that their favorite queen had died in kitting…
Soon enough, Rainshadow was back at camp. This time, she was more gentle in nudging the brambles out of her way. Inside, the Clan was still sitting around the nursery. Rainshadow sighed. In the back of her mind, she had hoped that Honeypaw had told the Clan the news. Instead, she would have to do it herself. No one noticed when she came in, so she slipped over to the prey pile and dropped the vole. She knew that when she returned to the nursery, the Clan would ask questions. She braced herself, then walked over to the den.
"Rainshadow, is Baileybreeze okay?"
"How many kits are there?"
"Did Baileybreeze name them already?"
"Are the kits okay? Are they alive?"
And finally, one cat asked the question that none other dared.
"Did Baileybreeze survive?"
It was Quailfeather, Baileybreeze's sister.
Rainshadow looked at her paws before replying.
"No. I'm so sorry Quailfeather. I did everything I could, bu-"
"LIAR!" Quailfeather leapt at her, claws out and teeth bared, "If you tried everything you could, my sister would be alive!"
Rainshadow collapsed to the ground, any trace of anger from earlier slipping from her body like a fish in the river. All she could feel was immense, crushing sadness and grief. Cricketwing burst into the medicine clearing and saw Quailfeather standing over Rainshadow. He quickly grabbed the brown she-cat by the scruff like a kit.
"I am so sorry Rainshadow, I thought she was asleep-"
He looked up and saw the grief in the medicine cat's eyes.
"Oh no… Baileybreeze..."
Sunblaze was standing in the shadows the entire time. His body was slack and his gaze was clouded. Suddenly, it sunk in. His agonized yowl drowned out any response Rainshadow had. Sunblaze's legs buckled beneath him, and he crashed to the ground in a heap of red and yellow fur. It was disheartening, seeing the most powerful warrior in the Clan laying on the ground, mewling like a kit. His sobs wracked his muscled body. The rest of the Clan dispersed, leaving him in front of the nursery. It felt like too personal of a moment to be looking in on.
Rainshadow stood up and padded gently over to him.
"Sunblaze. I am so sorry… I wish I could have done more. But she did have one kit who survived-"
Honeypaw stuck her head out of the nursery entrance.
"Rainshadow, why don't you take Sunblaze for a walk? I need to, um, tidy up in the nursery."
Rainshadow, thinking she understood, nodded and nudged Sunblaze with her muzzle. The two walked out of camp, Rainshadow's tail over his back as support.
As soon as they left, Honeypaw called for the Clan deputy. Salmonfur padded into the nursery and gasped in disbelief. Inside, there was hardly a scrap of clean moss. From paws to tail, both Honeypaw and Hazlefeather were covered in blood. Honeypaw explained the situation and asked Salmonfur to gather as many warriors and apprentices as she could. Nodding, the pinkish deputy left the den.
The warriors came first. They cleaned Baileybreeze's body up enough that she could be brought into the camp for mourning. With the proper positioning, you couldn't see the hole where her kits were pulled out. Soon, all of the apprentices came in to remove all of the bloody moss from the nursery. By the time they were finished, the floor was completely bare. As they collected more from the forest, the queens returned to the den. Collectively, they were able to clean up Honeypaw, Hazlefeather, and the two tom kits. The apprentices returned with as much soft moss as they could carry and re-bedded the nursery. By the time Rainshadow and Sunblaze returned, the nursery was back to the way it was, but this time without Baileybreeze.
Honeypaw ran out to greet Sunblaze.
"Sunblaze, come with me. Meet your new sons…"
"Sons? I thought only one survived…" Sunblaze had no emotion in his voice, like all feeling had been stripped from his body. Rainshadow shot her a look that asked the same question. Honeypaw just slipped her tail over his shoulders and led him into the nursery. Inside, Greenpoppy lay on her side, her two kits suckling. Spiderkit, a black and gray tom, was disappearing into his mother's thick fur. Hawkkit's black fur blended into his brother's. Next to her, Lemoncream sat with her distended belly bulging on either side of her. She was going to have large kits. And lastly, Quailfeather lay with six kits feeding at her side. Her four were slightly larger than Sunblaze's sons. Sapkit and Dawnkit wrestled with their brothers Turtlekit and Marshkit for their fair share of milk.
Sunblaze took a hesitant step toward the miniature Clan of kits. Quailfeather looked up and beckoned him with her tail, smiling softly.
"Come Sunblaze. Meet your kits."
Sunblaze stepped lightly over and crouched beside the nest. Some emotion returned to his eyes. He looked on in awe.
"Look at them… they're perfect."
Honeypaw looked at him. "What will you name them?"
Sunblaze looked down at his sons, squirming in the sea of kits. The red in their pelts blazed out against the coats of their adopted littermates. Sunblaze bent to sniff the redder one, the kit that would one day be called "The Miracle Kit". The tiny kit flashed out thorn-sharp claws at his father, drawing a bead of blood. Sunblaze laughed.
"Look at this little one! So much life in him already! And what a color- why, he's probably redder than me. Like a little crab… My little Crabkit."
He smiled. As if in agreement, the kit stopped suckling and sniffed his father's pelt before snuggling in. Sunblaze stiffened at first, but relaxed after a moment, stooping to nuzzle the furball. The larger of the two kits continued to suckle fiercely.
"This kit is a fighter. He's going to be one of the biggest cats in the Clan one day. I think Snakekit fits him."
Honeypaw purred. They were lovely names. A tap on her shoulder made her jump. Whirling around, she saw the questioning stare of Rainshadow behind her. Her stomach dropped as she followed her mentor out of the nursery.
"Honeypaw, only one kit was born before Baileybreeze died. Where did this other tom come from?"
Honeypaw looked at her paws for a moment, her mind struggling to find the words to say what she needed to. Eventually, the words just tumbled out. Rainshadow sat patiently through the whole story and Honeypaw recounted the events of that night. Finally, breathless and with a sob hitching in her throat, Honeypaw finished. Rainshadow looked at her.
"I have to say. I'm proud of you. You did what no other cat would have done, not even me. Although, it did make it harder to mourn her. However, one more kit survived. You did your job well Honeypaw. I'm proud to call you my apprentice."
With that, Rainshadow stood up and led her apprentice back to the medicine cat den, where the two she-cats had the most rewarding sleep they'd had in a long time.