"I feel it again. The pull to the Light."
In the pitch blackness of his quarters, Kylo Ren knelt before the gruesome mask of Darth Vader. Clenching his fists in frustration he allowed his anger to course through every fiber of his being and felt the Dark Side wash over him.
"Show me again the power of the darkness," he whispered to Vader's mask. "And I will let nothing stand in our way."
Ren leaned in closer, his eyes boring deep into the black sockets of the ghostly image before him.
"Show me… Grandfather. And I will finish what you sta-"
Before he could say another word, a bright light blasted into the dark lord's room, blinding him.
"AAAAH!"
Reeling, he fell onto his back and rubbed his eyes in a panic. It was quite a pitiful sight, the self-professed dark lord writhing on the floor of his room in agony from just a burst of sunlight.
"What you're going to finish is your breakfast, mister 'dark and broody', and then you're getting a move on before you're late. Again."
Looming over the disoriented youth was his father. Dressed in a dark blue uniform, Han Solo had turned rather grizzled with age. He tapped his foot impatiently and pointed outside.
"Come on. If you take off now, you might just make it in time even in that jalopy of yours."
"The Silencer is not a jalopy…" his son groaned.
Han walked out of the boy's room, only slowing down once to shoot a disturbed look at the antique helmet on the nightstand. "Call it what you want, kiddo. Until you bother to polish it up and get a muffler that doesn't make it sound like some off-key Hut instrument, it's a jalopy as far as I'm concerned."
For a solid minute Ben Solo, angst-ridden blogger that sometimes went by "Kylo Ren" and the single most irresponsible senior in his high school, stared at his ceiling.
Hating absolutely everything and everyone.
"Damn it."
STAR WARS: DARK TIMES AT TYTHON HIGH
Episode I:
TRAITOR!
It was five minutes until the first bell when Rey parked her swoop bike in the parking lot. Peering at her watch she smiled, brushing a lock of dark brown hair out of her face. It was going to be a chilly day on in Coruscant, so she already had on her favorite white and blue hoodie.
"Just in time."
Picking up the pace Rey walked quickly to the gymnasium. It was already the end of the first week, and the first major rally of the school year was about to begin. She had a full schedule, a sandwich packed for the day and had finally managed to snatch a class with the most loved teacher at the school.
It was almost enough to make her forget her dreary apartment.
She reached the entrance and gaped in awe at the dazzling sight inside. The gymnasium at Tython High was a massive structure lined with bleachers large enough to seat around two thousand students, most of whom were already seated. A transparisteel skylight made up most of the ceiling, giving Rey a view of the bright blue sky. Even the floor of the gym itself was impressive, a steely grey floor emblazoned with the bright blue 'Jedi' logo of the school.
The sight still entranced Rey, even after four years.
Rey looked for a spot at the senior area, eventually finding one opening beside a green Twi'lek girl. The girl was dressed in a threadbare old jacket and thick-rimmed glasses. She had a pair of headphones over the horn-like protrusion that acted at her ears, and she was clearly enjoying whatever tune she was listening to as she swayed from side to side.
"Um, excuse me?"
When the girl did not respond Rey knelt in front of her, tapping her on the shoulder. The Twi'lek opened her eyes and yelped as she jolted upright, and Rey leaned back to avoid one of the girl's lekku hitting whipping her in the face.
"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's okay," the alien girl said. Her cheeks flushed a darker green and she looked at the empty spot next to her. "Go ahead, I wasn't saving it."
Rey smiled. "Thanks." She sat down and gave the girl a grateful nod. "I'm Rey. What's your name?"
"Oola. Sorry about the seat thing, I just get a little caught up in the music sometimes…"
"It's fine," Rey said and waved her hand. "I know how you feel." She looked down at the datapad in Oola's hand. "If you don't mind me asking, which song were you listening to?"
Oola pocketed the phone and finally grinned back. "Just one of Max Rebo's latest singles. There's nobody better than Max, I hope I can catch that upcoming concert in a few months."
Rey was more of a Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes kind of girl, but she nodded along. The two were interrupted however when a loud bell rang, and every head in the gym turned to the stage at the front of the building. Two speakers began to play the school's rather hokey old anthem, and a middle-aged woman in an elegant blue dress took a stand behind a podium.
Leia Organa Solo's hair was tied into a bun and her face was projected over a screen on the wall behind her. She was wearing a bright smile as she looked over the crowd and gave a friendly wave. "Morning, everyone. Now that everybody's well and settled, I'd like to officially welcome you all to another wonderful year at Tython!"
Her voice was authoritative yet reassuring and listening to her immediately gave Rey a sense of comfort. She'd been lucky enough to meet the vice principal twice, but only as a quick hello and goodbye.
"For those of you coming back, well, welcome back. For those who are new here, my name is Vice Principal Leia Organa Solo. I'd like to make a few remarks before handing things off to our principal…"
Leia pulled out a small remote and clicked it, and the screen showed a montage of class photos from years back. Looking closely Rey was able to spot Leia as part of the class of 1983 before many others flashed past.
"Here at Tython, we hope to prepare you for whatever career you choose to follow. Perhaps you'll end up majoring in political science and move to Coruscant. The big city can always use bright young minds to help us all move forward.
Maybe you'll study history, or the arts, or try out for any of our fine sports teams. Like the soccer captains, celebrating their third year straight as state champions…"
There was a chorus of cheers, with Rey and Oola joining in. Many of the student looked up high into the bleachers, and Rey almost swooned at the sight of the soccer captain Poe Dameron. His hair seemed to have grown out since last year, and the star athlete gave a dazzling smile to the rest of his class.
"Yes, yes. We're all looking forward to seeing what they pull of this year. Just as we look forward to the accomplishments of everyone in our drama department, debate team, engineering club and many more.
Now, let's give a warm welcome to our principal, Professor Sheev Palpatine."
Rey stifled a giggle. It was not very likely she would ever get used to such a successful, well-loved professor having a first name like "Sheev".
Professor Palpatine's smiling, grandfatherly face took the place of Leia's on the screen and he gave a respectful nod to Leia as the audience clapped. "Thank you for those kind words, Mrs. Solo."
He cleared his throat before pulling up a sheet, having apparently written down his remarks well beforehand.
"Every student walking through our door has a bright future ahead of them, no matter where they come from or what talents they may possess.
I hope you all take full advantage of the opportunities present, as we will take every chance to help you.
Welcome to Tython, and good luck to you all."
Setting the paper down Palpatine gave a shrug and a sheepish smile. "That's all I have for now. I figured I would keep things nice and short."
There were echoes of laughter here and there as Palpatine proceeded to announce some new policies, and the date of the first football game the following week.
But from the edge of the bleachers Rey heard someone scoffing. It was soft, barely audible, but it was there.
Rey looked down to see who it was. The source of the noise was a tall, lanky boy with messy black hair. So much of his clothing was black that it was almost comical. Black shoes, a black shirt, a black hoodie pulled over his head and even a black leather jacket.
"Oola, who's that sitting in the corner?"
"Hm?" Oola looked at where Rey was pointing and then quickly turned away, her face blushing again.
"Oh dear. You don't know who Ben Solo is?"
It was lunchtime in the cafeteria, and Rey still couldn't help stealing a glance at Ben Solo as she walked by his table. As respected members of her community and famous graduates of Tython, Rey had heard plenty of stories of the two. From all accounts, and the brief times she had met Leia, they sounded like two of the most lovely people around.
It was hard to believe some brooding goth boy with a perpetual frown and no friends to speak of was their son. He was even sitting by himself, something she did not even think happened outside of the movies.
Rey was staring at him, carrying a tray's worth of food and a bottle of green milk when she heard a voice from her right shout out, "Woah, careful!"
Her heart almost leapt out of her chest. Rey whipped her head back forward in time to see an astromech droid moving into her path. She wavered, knowing she wasn't going to be able to stop herself in time.
A strong grip pulled her out of the droid's path, however. When she was sure she has a sure enough grip on her tray to keep it from spilling, Rey looked at her helper. He was a boy, just an inch or two taller than she was and dressed in a Tython jersey.
"Thanks," Rey said breathlessly.
"Don't mention it." The boy looked at the droid with a shake of his head, running his hands across his closely shaved head of hair. "Stupid droid. You'd think it would at least let out a beep or something."
Turning his attention back to her the boy asked, "You okay?"
"No, I'm good…" Rey's voice trailed off as she took a closer look at the boy, and after another moment she cocked her head. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
"I don't know," the boy said and shrugged off the question. "You sure you're alright? You didn't drop anything did you?"
Rey said "I'm good," again. But her eyes widened at something on the boy's chest and she gasped before remarking, "You know what, scratch that, we are far from good."
"What?"
The boy looked down before grimacing. His grey and blue jersey was stained with a splash of hot chocolate. As if the sight was not embarrassing enough, the dark spots were still steaming.
"Ooh, that's gonna piss Poe off. He just texted me to ask if I wanted to take a photo and I said yes."
"I don't think you should be worrying about Poe."
A look of horror set in on the boy's face.
"Aw, hell."
Rey looked around him and gulped. Behind her classmate, his front splashed with even more cocoa, was Ben Solo. His face was set in perhaps the most terrifying glare Rey had ever seen, and she had seen photos of the Grievous gang.
"Heeeeeeeey… How's it going, uh, buddy?" The boy in the jersey put on a painfully forced grin and turned around to look at Ben Solo.
Ben rose to his full height, towering over them both. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
If it were not for the table still separating the two, Rey had a feeling the darkly dressed young man would be ready to throttle her new friend.
"Oh, for crying out loud, Ben. No I didn't."
"It's not his fault," Rey bleated, "I spilled..."
"You just can't leave well enough alone," Ben Solo growled. "Can you?"
"Should I be going somewhere?" Rey asked uncomfortably.
The boy looked back and forth between Ben and Rey with an awkward laugh before his face turned blank. "Yeah, probably."
Before she could so much as blink again Ben Solo had leapt on top of the table and streaked right past Rey.
"TRAITOR!"
The startled girl watched in utter disbelief as the two boys tackled each other to the floor, bumping into a nearby table and causing several girls to scream.
Losing her balance Rey could not keep herself from falling onto her butt. Grunting in pain she watched the two wrestle in a way that seemed more appropriate for kindergarteners than seniors at high school.
Whoever her friend was, he was clearly no friend to the delinquent Oola had talked about for about five minutes straight.
People started to gather around their corner of the cafeteria, cheering on the display. Rey spotted Oola and another girl watching from their table. The Twi'lek's face sank into her palm.
Leaning back in place Rey sighed in disappointment.
"Great," she mumbled. "First week, and you helped start a fight with the whole damn school watching.
This is going to be a long fucking year."
Author's Note: And here we kickoff an episodic sendup of Star Wars in the flavor of Ferris Bueller, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and of course The Breakfast Club. Perhaps even some Harry Potter sprinkled in there.
The new trilogy is pretty divisive to say the least, but in the end we're all Star Wars fans. There will be no mean spirited jabs to one end of the fanbase or another, just a spoof that gives the various good guys and bad guys of Star Wars a new spin.
No intergalactic wars, just tough sports matches.
No murdering or mutilating of family members, just lots and LOTS of angst.
But there will be hijinks, there will be danger, and there will be hormones abound.
Welcome to Tython High. Keep up your best behavior.
The school ghosts are watching!