disclaimer: I own Harry Potter! Related things! just kidding I own the books and I own me. And my dog! And Bernard. I'm doing this on Bernard. Bernard is my phone.
Two boys were listening to the radio when it happened. The song had came on. The third on walked-no ran- out of the bathroom. Could they turn it down in time? Was it already heard? The questions, dear reader, were questions straight out of the head of James L. Potter. Remus John Lupin was cursing himself for having a wild boyfriend. "I like big butts and I cannot lie!" Sirius sings. The song had indeed been heard. "Them other brothers cannot deny." He points to James and Remus. "When a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist," he grabs Remus hips, bucking against them. At this point, dear reader, Remus was blushing lightly. "And puts that round thing in my face," he holds Remus tighter, keeping him from escape. Sirius kisses his nose lightly. The other boy, James, turns away, not wanting to see his friends porn. "You get SPRUNG!" Sirius bucks more against him. "Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed," he slaps Remus' butt, who jumps in response. "Deep in them jeans she's wearing I'm hooked baby can't stop staring," he stares at Remus. "Oh baby, I wanna get with you And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that butt you got makes me," Sirius rubs himself on Remus. He shoots a curse at James, who -in time with the song- sings "soo horny!" In a girly voice. "Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin You say you wanna get in my Benz?" Sirius winks seductively at Remus. "Well, use me, use me 'Cause you ain't that average groupie I've seen them dancin' To hell with romancin' She's sweat, wet, Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette I'm tired of magazines Sayin' flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and ask him that," Sirius starts to pull Remus foreword, removing lube from his own drawer. "She gotta pack much." Sirius ignores the looks from Remus, who is turning the color of the Gryffindor couch, when he grabs the container of melted chocolate and whip cream. James was thinking 'kinky much?' To let you know fanfictioner. "So fellas?" Sirius ask. "Yeah!" James replies, not happy about it though. As if being done against his will, reader, do you find this strange too? "Fellas?" "Yeah!" "Has your girlfriend got the butt?" "Hell yeah!" "Tell 'em to shake it!" "Shake it!" "Shake it!" "Shake it!" "Shake that healthy butt!" "Baby got back!" Sirius grabs the chocolate and lathers himself in it. "I like 'em round, and big And when I'm throwin' a gig I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal," Sirius pulls Remus ponytail out. "I wanna get you home And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh I ain't talkin' bout Playboy 'Cause silicone parts are made for toys I want 'em real thick and juicy So find that juicy double Mix-a-Lot's in trouble Beggin' for a piece of that bubble So I'm lookin' at rock videos Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes You can have them bimbos I'll keep my women like Flo Jo A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya I won't cuss or hit ya," Sirius gets on his knees and rips Remus' pants down. James shudders in horror. "But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna," Remus leans over and whispers into Sirius' ear. Sirius looks hurt, like a kicked puppy. Then he cheers up. "FUCK!" Remus groans and shakes his head. Sirius turns the music off. James runs out the room. The door slams shut. No one came in or out for six hours. _ So, how was that? Did ya like it? I'm gonna be honest, I'm such a review-slut. If you are critiquing my work, I'm like "YAY! REVIEWS! THEY DONT LIKE IT! YAY! So if I did this, it would have been cooler. Did that next time."