Shane was shaking. It was crazy. Everyone was still processing the horrors they'd witnessed and their home being engulfed in flames. It was calm for now, but Shane was fidgety, uneasy. He decided he needed air, partly to clear his mind and because the whole house was filled with the thick stench of smoke. He checked the street but went outside, kicking stones on the sidewalk in anger. Although the place was deserted, Shane knew that this was a stupid idea. Being outside in Morganville at night was a stupid idea. Being in Morganville was just plain stupid. But there was no one around. He knew it could've been worse, much worse. They could've been injured or killed. It made him angry thinking about it. And he grabbed a stone and threw it toward a lamp post, striking it with a loud clinking sound.
And then he was crying. Crying in fear of loosing Michael even more than he already had. Crying in fear of loosing Eve, the annoying brat that he loved like a sister. But mostly, and most shockingly, he was crying about Claire. Strange. He cared about Claire. This strange new girl who had put them all in danger but would much rather be solving math problems if she could. This tiny, quirky, independent girl who kissed like an angel and was gentle and didn't hate his attitude. So strange..
"Shane are you crying?" Claire was there at the door, looking toward him with a worried expression on her face.
"Nope." he swallowed, trying to mantain his masculinity. But then he was full on sobbing into his hands.
"Hey, it's okay..."
Shaking as he did, Claire watched Shane slide down to sit on the curb, staring right out into the road. She'd never seen him so angry, hurt. He seemed vacant, empty, all the fight knocked out of him. His red-rimmed eyes glared out at passing cars, breathing heavily and quickly. For a few seconsd she just watched his shoulders rising and falling. She struggled to find words to say, knowing nothing could help him right now. He suddenly collapsed into himself, pulling his knees in and whimpering onto his sleeve.
"Oh Shane. You'll be okay..."
Claire watched him for a while, truly terrified for him. She had no idea what was going on in his head. She sat down on the pavement with Shane, edging herself down slowly so she didn't startle him. She heard his muffled cries as she leant into him, her arms draped around him. Even though it was dark, the air was very cold and she could see his unstable breath leave his mouth just like a dragon would breathe fire. He smelt like coffee, sweat and her own perfume.
Claire leant her head against his arm in comfort, breathing in. "Shane, I'm here, you're going to be okay.."
"Would you just leave off?! I don't need your help.." he shouted, getting up as he did. His eyes watched her, darting, red and tears dripping down his face. He shook as he stood with his hands in fists.
"I was trying to help you." she stuttered, confused and slightly scared at his sudden outburst. She stood back up slowly, hands at her sides.
"You don't know what it's like! I feel so empty, this town is killing me! It's easy for you Claire, you've been here for five minutes. For me, this is everyday." Shane sobbed, the streetlight highlighting the fury in his eyes.
"Shane. I know, I know. But we'll leave one day. One day, we're gonna get out of this hell hole." Claire told him, trying to calm him as best she could.
"Why won't you leave me alone? It's not like I love you or anything.."
"What? I just thought that.."
"NO DON'T THINK!"
"YOU kissed me okay?" she declared, pointing her finger at him suddenly full of a raging anger and regret. "It's not MY fault that you kissed me."
"Oh come on, it's not like you're my type!" he snivelled, wiping his face with his whole hand.
"Oh! Is that all I am then? Just another of your silly little flings?! Stupid Claire! Getting it wrong again! Sorry I'm not slutty enough for you." she blubbed at him, given up with being nice, jabbing him in the chest with useless punches.
"Ow!" She knew it didn't hurt, it couldn't hurt, she could feel the muscle of his chest tensing. "Calm down." he said through gritted teeth. He pushed her away and she held herself trying to keep her tears in.
"Calm down? Calm down?" she yelled. "How can I? I was trying to help! All you do is push me away.. Here's me thinking I might actually mean something to you."
"Yeah, well I guess you were wrong." he said angrily, backing away from her.
"So what do I do now? And am I just supposed to forget about how I feel when I'm with you? Forget how much I care for you? For the first time in my life someone's made me feel wanted and now you're just walking away like I'm nothing." She started talking angrily but eventually her voice just turned to sobs.
He looked at her, pain surging through his mind and body. He hated her crying. She was beautiful, radiant and to watch someone as perfect as her to be in pain. It was the worst thing. He wanted to wipe her tears away, circle his arms around her, hold her to him so he could run his fingers in her hair. It just hurt too much.
"I'm scared." he replied slowly. "I'm terrified of loosing you Claire."
"I'm scared too. We're all-"
"No you don't get it!" he grumbled loudly again. "I've seen so much pain and I can't stop seeing it. It stays with me, comes back in flashes. I've never had a reason to be happy And now I do. And this is just, this is making me so scared Claire."
She watched the frown on his perfect lips and tried to hold her tears back for him.
"Let me help you then.. I can help you.." she mumbled, trying to reach for his face, to hold it close in her hands.
"I don't want any help! I don't want to hurt anyone! Just leave, stay away from me. Whatever we're doing, whatever this is is over. Over." Shane made his way to the front door, quickening his pace as she ran toward him.
"Please." she'd said. And that was all. She didn't want to fight, she wanted his lips on hers again, their shaky breaths connected warm and free. He walked away as she stood there, both of them breathing heavily.
She grabbed his arm. He looked at her face, and she looked at his; both stained with tear marks and both full of hurt. But he swatted her away, as if she were just a fly. He began pounding up the stairs in the way he always did. He was already up the stairs by the time she'd reached the front door, tears spilling over her eyes. She began to speed across the room and up the stairs, her crying making her eyesight blurry. She reached the landing, but her feet barely reached the ground before she saw him standing there wating.
As if the fight had never even happened, their mouths linked instantly. Claire let out a quiet but short, moan in surprise but melted into him. Her hand caressed his cheek as her lips seperated slightly and quivered. His hands were on her waist, but still shaking rapidly, travelling up her sides, tangling in her hair. Their bodies curved into each other as she gasped. They were full of a burning passion, each second wanting more, each moment full of fear and sadness. Their tongues danced magically, sending Claire's senses into a fit. They broke apart, her heart hammering in her chest. Her hands wandered up his back and played with his hair slowly, pulling him closer to her. Gently, their foreheads rested together, both staring into the others eyes with longing, lust and love.
"I'm sorry, Claire.. Claire.." he stammered out of breath, "I think I really like you. I just don't want to hurt you, anymore than I already have. You're too wonderful." he sighed.
She gazed up into his hurt eyes, rubbing his cheek with one thumb, smiling softly.
"You've made things better Shane," she insisted, "You've made Morganville worth the trouble so far, that's all that matters, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." he smiled weakly.
"So I'm more than just a fling yeah? More than one of those stupid girls you like with blonde hair and pink, pouty lips and skirts that sit half way up their arses?"
"You're definitely more than that." he assured her with a quick kiss on the bridge of her nose, twisting his fingers with hers.
"Good to know."
Eve poked her head around the corner. "Sorry to interfere with you two lovebirds but, it's your turn to do dinner Shane." He gave her the finger and she gave it back, but she smiled with black lips and let them be.
"Chilli it is then.." Claire sighed.
"You love my chilli Miss Danvers."
Shane kept thinking about how strange it all was. How this strange girl had come into his strange life in the strangest town in existence and how he cared about her. And he kissed her again, repeatedly, wildly, lovingly. And they stared for a while, both grinning and giggling lost in this strange moment of having each other.
