Chapter 1
Craig and Clyde were playing Mortal Kombat at Clyde's house when Craig got a text from Tweek. Clyde seemed annoyed by this, but Craig didn't really care. Craig paused the game and started texting his boyfriend, as Clyde waited idly by the side. Clyde finally had enough.
"Dude!" Clyde said angrily as Craig looked up.
"What?!" Craig said confused as his best friend got even angrier.
"Are you kidding me?!" Clyde asked rhetorically as Craig put his phone down.
"What?!" Craig asked again as Clyde looked at him with fire in his eyes.
"Doesn't your boyfriend understand that this is guy time?!" Clyde asked as Craig calmly assessed the situation.
"What's wrong Clyde?" Craig said calmly as Clyde started to open up.
"God, you're always hanging around fucking Tweek." Clyde started as Craig listened. "It's like we never have time to hangout anymore like we used to, and I feel like another day with Tweek is another day without me. I know it sounds like I'm being a bad friend, but you spend a little more time with your buds, and a little less time with Tweek." Craig started to rub his friends back.
"You don't sound like a bad friend." Craig said as he got up and pointed at Clyde. "But you still sound fucking gay dude, I'm not breaking up with my boyfriend." Craig started to walk out of the door. Clyde tried to figure out something clever to say.
"Oh yeah, well you're gay!" Clyde said causing Craig to turn around.
"Thanks for the astute observation captain obviously!" Craig said angrily as he turned around and gave Clyde the middle finger.
"If you love so much, then why don't you marry him!" Clyde yelled as those words echoed in Craig's head.
"That's a great idea." Craig said as Clyde realized what he's done.
"Wait, what?!" Clyde said as he tried to convince Craig not to do it. "Wait, we're in the 4th grade. You can't get married right now!" Craig already had his mind set on marriage.
"Stan and Wendy got a fake wedding, why can't Tweek and I have one?" Craig asked as Clyde didn't know what to say.
"Because then you'll have to choose between our friendship, and your relationship." Clyde said as Craig walked away.
"That's fucking gay dude." Craig said as Clyde got angry.
"You're fucking gay!" Clyde said as Craig continued to leave.
"You're on a roll today captain obvious." Craig said as Clyde angrily stomped into his house. Clyde's dad was washing dishes and he was concerned about what just happened.
"What's wrong son?" Clyde's dad said as Clyde started walking upstairs.
"Craig's gonna propose to Tweek." Clyde said upsettingly. His father dropped the dish that he was washing and immediately went on the phone.
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Stan and his family were eating lunch until the phone started to ring. Stan got up to answer it as his family continued to eat lunch.
"Hello." Stan said to the person on the other line.
"Hey Stan." Stan could recognize Kyle's dad's voice. "Is Randy home?" Stan held on to the bottom part of the phone.
"Dad, it's for you!" Stan called as Randy went to the phone.
"Yeah." Randy said as Gerald started to speak.
"You Craig, he's totally proposing to Tweek tonight." Gerald said as Randy was shocked.
"Oh my god, are you serious!" Randy said causing Sharon to be worried.
"What is it Randy?" Sharon asked as Randy answered.
"Craig's gonna propose to Tweek!" Randy said as Stan dropped his fork.
"What?!" Stan said as Randy and Gerald continued to talk. As they continued, Stan excused himself from the table and went upstairs. He went to his room and started calling Kyle. Kyle picked up.
"Dude, Craig's proposing?!" Kyle said before Stan even mentioned it.
"I know, what the hell is going on?!" Stan said as he was getting a call from Cartman. "Wait I'm getting a call from Cartman, do you wanna go on Skype?" Kyle agreed as they started to go on Skype. They were met by Cartman.
"Dude, what the fuck?!" Cartman said as Stan and Kyle listened. "Who the fuck gave Craig the idea to propose to Tweek?!" Butters wanted to join the chat to so let him in.
"Hey fellers, did you hear about Craig?" Butters said as Cartman was annoyed.
"Who the hell let Butters in the chat?!" Cartman said angrily as Stan tried to stand up for Butters.
"Why can't he be in the chat?!" Stan said as Butters invited a whole bunch of other people. Stan then regretted his actions as Token, Jimmy, and Clyde joined the chat.
"Hey guys, did you hear about Craig and Tweek?" Token said as Clyde crossed his arms.
"Yeah I fucking heard about it, I'm the one who was there asshole!" Clyde yelled.
"You don't have to be so rude Clyde, I just asked a question." Token said as Jimmy gave his input.
"Yeah, Cl-Cl-Clyde, don't be such an ass-ass-asshole." Jimmy said as Clyde got even more upset.
"Well sorry if this gives my best friend an excuse to not wanna hangout with me even more." Clyde said as Kyle was disgusted.
"How can you be so selfish to not want your best friend to be happy?!" Kyle said as Stan gave Kyle support.
"Yeah Clyde, you should just accept the fact their getting married dude." Stan said as Cartman started laughing.
"Yeah, they'll probably get a divorce like Stan and Wendy!" Cartman said laughing hysterically. Stan was furious.
"Shut the fuck up Cartman!" Stan said as Butters started speaking.
"Hey fellers, everyone's gonna watch Craig propose to Tweek at Starks Pond, we should go too." Butters said as Stan thought it was a great idea.
"Yeah let's go and see if Tweek says no." Stan said as Clyde started to grin. Just then, they all got a message.
"Oh shit, Kenny's joining the conversation!" Cartman said as Kyle was confused.
"Why is that a problem?" Kyle asked. Just then, Kenny joined the conversation and everyone's connection got very bad and laggy. Right afterwards, everyone gets kicked off the chat. Cartman looks at his computer, holds the bridge of his nose, and sighs in annoyance.
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Craig sees Tweek sitting on a bench looking at the pond. Craig then took the Ring Pop out of his pocket. He got the candy store owner to make a coffee flavored Ring Pop just for Tweek. Craig was starting to get nervous from the whole situation.
"Okay, relax." Craig told himself as he started pacing behind the tree. "Stan asked Wendy to marry him. But then again they got a divorce. No, I shouldn't be thinking about that. I'm just gonna go out there and propose." Just then, Clyde came out of nowhere. Clyde was gonna make sure Craig didn't propose.
"Hey Craig, a lot of people came to watch you fail." Clyde said as Craig was confused. Then he say everyone in town watching the whole thing. "If you don't wanna do it, I understand. I'm sure everyone in town will too. Just give up, I'm sure everything will be okay." Craig misunderstood everything that Clyde said.
"You're right Clyde, I should just propose." Craig said as Clyde was confused.
"What?!" Clyde said as Craig started getting prepared.
"I shouldn't care what the town thinks, I should just do this for me." Craig said as Clyde was even more confused. "Thanks bestie." Craig then started running to the bench. Clyde was confused and angry.
"What the fuck!" Clyde said angrily. Once Craig was next to Tweek, he then got down on one knee. Tweek was starting to get very excited.
"Gah, oh my god!" Tweek said as Craig pulled out the Ring Pop.
"Tweek, honey, will you please take this coffee flavored Ring Pop and take my hand in marriage?" Craig asked as Tweek thought about it. Randy was with all the other townspeople spectating.
"Say yes god damn it." Randy said in a soft voice so they didn't know they were being watched. Tweek then made his decision.
"Gah, yes Craig, oh my god yes." Tweek said as he hugged Craig and put on the Ring Pop. The whole town started cheering as they started looking at the townspeople.
"Let's get out of here sweetums." Craig said as Tweek agreed. As they left, all the townspeople started to celebrate. Everyone except Clyde. Clyde wasn't only upset about the loss of his best friend, he was furious.
End of Chapter 1