What Makes a Captain
As it was, right at that moment, Kurimatsu felt himself to be highly inadequate for the role of captain. He hadn't thought so yet after Endou had asked him. No, he had been fuelled by the encouragement of the other second years and a handful of first years, who somehow held him in high regard. Thus, he had accepted and now he stood, with sweaty palms and a lousy speech he was sure he was forgetting with every passing second, watching as a stream of new first years walked in, all excitedly babbling about everything and nothing. He lost count around twenty, for he was then distracted by the very embarrassing idea of him failing miserably and seeing all those excited smiles turn in disapproving frowns.
To say that Kurimatsu was nervous was a severe understatement.
He remembered saying goodbye to Endou, Gouenji, Kidou, and the others. He remembered how thrilling those final matches between various incarnations of Raimon and Teikoku had been and how Endou had once more brought all of them together. Now Kurimatsu had to fill the shoes he felt were much too large for him and lead this new Raimon to another year of victory.
The whispering echoed through the gym, which they had claimed due to obvious space limitations within the old clubhouse. So much excitement for soccer in one room, but all Kurimatsu felt was slightly nauseous. Was it too late to turn back now?
Behind him, he heard Shishido murmur, "There sure are a lot of them, huh."
And he was right. The last students entered and as Kurimatsu tried for another headcount, he soon realised that they couldn't possibly accept them all; they simply didn't have the facilities.
Panic seized his mind. They hadn't discussed this issue. They hadn't expected it. Stupid really, seeing how popular Raimon was becoming with its consecutive wins the past years.
Should he just give his little speech and figure something out afterwards? Should they discuss it now, quickly? But maybe it wasn't even necessary. They were going to train after this so maybe some would realise this simply wasn't for them?
"Captain?" Kabeyama whispered somewhere to his right. "Isn't it about time to start?"
Kurimatsu startled from his thoughts as all faces turned towards the greatly outnumbered third years. He was on the verge of a panic attack.
"Right," he stuttered, wringing his hands. Just how did Endou do this successfully every single time?
Deep breaths. That was a start, right? Breathe and blink and stand up tall and recite just a small, simple speech. He could do all that.
He stepped forward, cleared his throat, and promptly passed out.
雪
Kurimatsu woke up and blinked stupidly at the ceiling of what appeared to be the old clubhouse. The couch he was sprawled upon had been gifted to them after winning the tournament for a second time.
He sat up abruptly. The room was eerily quiet and the basket filled with soccer balls normally squished in the corner was gone. Some pylons were strewn across the length of the place, dropped on the way out. Practice had already started then.
How much time had passed after he had fainted? Had the others taken all the new students to experience practice or had they all left after seeing what a loser of a captain they had?
He felt ill. Maybe he should just quit while he was ahead. He was destroying all of Endou's hard work.
The door slid open and Shourin entered. He smiled brightly as he noticed Kurimatsu and walked over. Kurimatsu couldn't quite bring himself to look him in the eye and stared at his feet instead.
"Finally awake, I see," Shourin said. "We started training with the newbies; let them have a taste of our training regime, so to say."
Kurimatsu nodded, then continued staring at the floor. He heard the shuffle of Shourin's shoes and felt the couch dip ever so slightly as the small midfielder joined him.
"So, what's up? Shourin asked. Direct and honest, making Kurimatsu wonder whether he would do a better job as captain.
"Just queasy." He shrugged, not quite knowing what else to say.
"'Just queasy' does not warrant fainting."
"I felt faint too."
"Why?"
"Dunno. Maybe I've caught something."
Shourin pursed his lips, clearly not satisfied with Kurimatsu's admittedly weak excuse.
"Well," Shourin said and jumped off the couch. "If you feel ill, you should go home and rest. If you're feeling… other things, you should join practice. You can think over your problems and then tackle them there." He was almost out the door when he looked over his shoulder to share his last bit of wisdom.
"Oh, and, while you're there, you should definitely have a good look at the first years. Some seem really promising." With that Shourin closed the door behind him, leaving Kurimatsu with not much of a choice.
Dragging himself off the couch, Kurimatsu still wasn't sure what to do though and wandered over to one of the corners. Moving aside the mess piled high in front of it, he knelt and stared at the scribbles decorating the wall.
Kino had suggested that before the third years graduated, they should leave their marks on the room as well. Especially because they had rebuilt the soccer club. Everyone had agreed enthusiastically (Raimon had looked the other way) and had set to work.
'We did it!'
'Two years in a row!'
'Keep on going!'
A couple of smileys and other drawing were littered around the words, covering most of the wall available. However, the words that always caught everyone's attention were scribbled right in the centre.
'Let's play soccer!'
Endou's writing was almost as bad as his grandfather's, but the words stood out amongst everything else.
Kurimatsu traced the lines with his eyes, wondering what his old captain would say. He wished he had asked Endou the exact reason why he had chosen him. He might not have been as doubtful as he was now.
He heaved a sigh. Shourin was right. Just staying in the clubhouse wasn't going to solve anything.
He stood and covered the writing again. It was to be a small secret after all.
He dusted off his jersey, opened the zipper and tossed the jacket onto the couch. It was quickly followed by his sweatpants. He smoothed out his shirt, his hand lingering shortly on the crest printed on it, then put on his spikes and straightened his socks.
He left the clubhouse, feeling slightly better, and headed for the field.
The noises of practice were as loud and excited as ever and, as he reached the slope, he couldn't help but be pleased with the hive of activity happening below.
It seemed they had divided the forwards, midfielder and defenders for some more specialized training with their one keeper joining in with the forwards. Kabeyama and Shishido had taken the defenders, Shourin was with the midfielders and, for a lack of a third-year forward, Toramaru was in charge of the forwards.
It was also Toramaru who noticed Kurimatsu first and jogged over to meet him at the bottom of the stairs.
"Captain!" Toramaru said, a little too loud and a little too excited. "You're feeling better?"
Kurimatsu glanced over towards Shourin, who happened to be looking in their direction, and wondered what he had mentioned about Kurimatsu's 'illness'. Shourin simply smiled and gave him a thumbs-up.
Leave it up to Shourin to speak his mind bluntly and scold him senseless, but still save Kurimatsu's pride in front of the juniors despite it all.
"Yeah. Just…. had to rest for a bit," Kurimatsu said sheepishly.
Toramaru beamed and started a rapid-fire summary of how things were going with the new members, though it wasn't as much a summary as it was a play-by-play analysis. Otonashi eventually stepped in and shooed Toramaru off. She then proceeded with her own analysis, reading notes off of her clipboard that made Kurimatsu's head spin. After she was done with player stats, she went off on a tangent about the new members and what positions they wished to play in.
There hadn't been any applications for managers, but Otonashi told him she was planning on advertising and scouting for girls herself. She huffed at the mention of male managers, saying that one Megane had been more than enough for a lifetime, thank you very much. Besides, female managers were Raimon's thing.
There had also been a lot of students who had vowed to become Raimon's new ace, much to Toramaru's chagrin, but Otonashi had crushed many a dream after making everyone go through some shooting drills and discovering only a handful were actually fit to be a forward. The others were distributed amongst the midfielders and defenders as she had seen fit, though she did mention that many had promising talent.
"All in all it's not a bad lot," she said, scribbling something on her clipboard after a quick glance towards the field. "It's just—" She pursed her lips, not sure how to voice her thoughts.
"Not the same," Kurimatsu offered. "Without Endou and the others."
Otonashi didn't answer, but he could tell it was what she had meant.
They stared across the field, the heavy silence settling until Otonashi sighed and she brushed her hair back.
"As that may be," she said brusquely and gave him a stern look. "We'll just have to give Raimon our own twist."
She shooed him off then, saying he had captain duties to fulfil. She must have caught the look in his eyes because she gently shoved him towards Kabeyama and Shishido's side of the field and told him to take it easy.
Shishido was the one who noticed him walking over and ran up to meet him halfway, excitedly yelling to get his attention.
"You made quite the impression this morning," Shishido said, grinning.
"I bet." Kurimatsu sighed.
Shishido shrugged and watched as a first year stole the ball quite skilfully but then lost it to another student just as quickly.
"The ones that scoffed have already left anyway after they discovered how serious we are about training and the like," he said. "They didn't care all that much for soccer to begin with."
"Still, what kind of captain faints right before an important speech?"
"The kind of captain that's you," Shishido said plainly.
"Yeah, thanks."
"It's the truth." Shishido shrugged. "But it's not as if you've been a captain before. Besides, you always did suck at public speaking. It's just not your thing."
Kurimatsu pulled a face as he followed Shishido towards the others.
"You could make it your thing, though," Shishido said, glancing past his shoulder.
Kabeyama waved cheerfully as they came close, effectively turning every face towards Kurimatsu. His stomach churned, but all that met him were curious faces, and he forced his panic down.
He cleared his throat nervously.
"Hi," he said, feeling incredibly lame. "I'm Kurimatsu Teppei, your captain. Nice to meet you."
The first years very dutifully bowed and asked to be taken care of in turn. It made Kurimatsu feel slightly more at ease to the point he dared go for a probably shaky smile, which was still mostly returned by the first years.
Shishido grinned and slapped Kurimatsu's back excitedly, immediately rambling to the first years how Kurimatsu, together with Kabeyama, had gone to the international tournaments twice and what a great player he was. It was rather embarrassing and Kurimatsu quickly put an end to it by offering to join with practice.
After demonstrating some moves with Kabeyama, Kurimatsu took to observing the first years with him, while Shishido went along with the second years.
It seemed most students had already been playing soccer for most their lives, but there were a few that were completely new to it. When asked, they had said they had wanted to try something new, but Kurimatsu noticed their hesitation and insecurity after watching the people that did know what they were doing and it seemed to be affecting them greatly.
"Maybe we should take the actual newbies apart," Kurimatsu muttered to no one in particular, but Kabeyama picked up on it anyway.
"I know that there are more with Shourin and Toramaru," he said. "A surprising amount, really, but somewhat refreshing also."
Kurimatsu thought for a moment longer, but quickly decided that it would be detrimental for everyone if the new players wouldn't be taken on a crash course of soccer. He excused himself from Kabeyama and jogged back towards Otonashi, who glanced at him curiously.
After explaining his thoughts, she readily agreed and handed him a list of everyone new, or new enough, pointing out all the individuals and linking their faces to the names scribbled down.
"I'll come help you out as well. Just go ahead and collect them," she said. "I'll prepare a quick routine for today."
As Kurimatsu came to pick up the three players for special practice, Shourin gave him a look. He ignored it and introduced himself to everyone present, making sure to sound nonchalant as he asked for the newbies to come with him. He didn't want them to feel singled out. Just before he left, he decided to return Shourin's look by scrunching up his own face. He heard Shourin laugh as he turned his back.
Toramaru gladly handed over the two Otonashi had pointed out after Kurimatsu's quick introduction. He also asked whether Kurimatsu would come back for more students because Toramaru could really use some help. It was only him, the other second-year forward and the second-year goalie after all. Kurimatsu promised to send Shishido his way, seeing as Kabeyama could easily handle the defenders on his own.
Shishido, once again coming up to meet him, gladly moved over to the forwards, happy to help anywhere.
Kabeyama was almost disappointed with handing some players over, but agreed it was for the best. Kurimatsu assured he'd get them back soon enough after they were through his and Otonashi's crash course.
In total there were eight absolute newbies. In the grand scheme of the amount of new players joining, it wasn't that large a percentage, but it definitely meant changing gear for Kurimatsu. He couldn't assume their knowledge and had to step back down to level one. In a way, it was somewhat refreshing.
"All right," he said, wringing in his hands. "You may have guessed why I've collected you all here, but just so we're clear: I called you here because you're beginners to soccer." He noticed their faces blanch, so he continued quickly. "And there's nothing wrong with that! It's just that we would like to teach you the basics separately, so you won't feel discouraged by seeing everyone else. We were all beginners at some point after all."
Otonashi joined them then. She quickly went through what she had put on paper, something that flew straight over the newbies' heads, but Kurimatsu assured them they would go through it all step by step at their own pace.
They started with dribbling, first only for a short distance in a straight line, but soon a couple were moving all over the place. Otonashi noted them down as quick learners and told Kurimatsu to take care of them while she would take care of the three having slightly more difficulty in controlling the ball.
After a while they switched to practising passes in pairs before people would become frustrated with not grasping dribbling very well. It seemed most had difficulty with passes however and, even after Kurimatsu's patient examples, most seemed so demoralised that Kurimatsu made the executive decision to have them return to dribbling practice for the remainder of the day. There were two that wished to continue practising passing, so Kurimatsu helped them out for a bit longer before he sent them to join the others as well.
As he and Otonashi stood by the sidelines and observed the first years move around, Kurimatsu took a moment to reflect on his predicament of being a captain. He still wasn't sure what it meant to be one. His idea of a good captain was Endou, but there was no way he could imitate Endou in any way, so what could he do instead? Was it even something conscious? Endou had always seemed like the kind of person who could take the lead effortlessly. For Kurimatsu that simply wasn't the case. Taking the lead was a very conscious effort to him and it had taken a lot of willpower to take a step forward during the Empire match. He had also had all the other first years join him then.
"This suits you, you know," Otonashi said softly, breaking through his completely contradictory thoughts.
"What?" He turned towards her, confused. She hadn't looked up from her notes.
"Being captain," she clarified. She must have sensed his confusion however because she glanced up and watched him from over her glasses. "You don't think so?"
He shrugged and scuffed his feet, not feeling like looking at her. Turned out he didn't have much of a choice with Otonashi's eyes burning into the side of his face and he broke soon enough.
"I mean, this morning," he muttered vaguely towards the ground.
After the silence dragged on for a bit, he dared a peek towards Otonashi and found her giving him her most unimpressed stare she could muster.
"Kurimatsu," she said, placing her hands on her hips. "Is that what's been bothering you all day?"
He shrugged, not quite knowing what to say. "It's just that… somehow I don't feel as if I'm fit to be captain."
Otonashi hummed, thinking over her words carefully. Kurimatsu almost thought she would leave it at that, but after a while—and after she had taken some more notes on the newbies—she gave him her piece of mind.
"Well, Endou and the others picked you for a reason," she said and readjusted her glasses. "Personally I think you're an excellent choice. The best one, really. And I know the others think so to. People look up to you. You did go to the World Cup twice after all."
He wanted to point out that Kabeyama had done so too, but Otonashi wasn't looking at him anymore. She had returned her attention towards her clipboard, not wanting to hear any arguments on the matter. Kurimatsu had a feeling it was her way of telling him she couldn't offer him the answer, but one was never sure with Otonashi.
Sighing, he turned back to observing the first years, but it was just making him more depressed, so he decided to take on a different approach. One Shourin had suggested earlier.
"Okay, everyone!" he called. "Let's add a little challenge before the end of practice."
They all stopped moving, watching curiously as Kurimatsu created an improvised goal made of pylons and took up a defensive position in front of it.
"Try to get past me and score a goal," he said and, after noticing their hesitation, added, "Don't worry. We'll take it easy. Let's go."
One of the forwards was the first to give it a try. He lost the ball as he tried to turn, but after a reassuring smile from Kurimatsu, he quickly fetched the ball and continued on. The others slowly but surely joined in.
At first they played silently, caught up in concentration, but soon Kurimatsu found himself giving tips and encouragement to them all. Otonashi, in turn, called them towards her every now and then for some more personal advice and to gain a better perspective on their skills as to see what they could focus on after they had gotten a bit better at soccer.
Kurimatsu quickly lost himself in the excitement. Even with holding himself back, he found himself enjoying it all immensely. Giving instructions, tips, encouragement, it was just as much part of soccer as the playing itself was. It had all been so ingrained in him by now that he hardly had to think about it.
Maybe that was it. Perhaps that was what he could offer as a captain. He could teach them through playing and watch over them as they would move along and grow. He might not be Endou in terms of leadership skills, but those he could work on.
When Otonashi whistled to signal the end of practice, it took Kurimatsu a moment to realise. Dazedly, he lead the cool-down exercises for the newbies before they all joined up in front of the bench with Otonashi. While everyone was chatting, Shourin walked up to Kurimatsu.
"So what do you think?" Shourin asked. "Still feeling ill?"
"No, I'm feeling a lot better now," Kurimatsu said, smiling slightly. "Thanks, Shourin."
Shourin grinned and gave him a thumbs-up.
Otonashi then called for everyone's attention. She thanked everyone for attending today and summarised the training planned for the next day. She also tagged on a little warning for the first years that tardiness was unacceptable and their policy on it was one extra lap for every minute late. She also said she would update everyone's personal training schedules and have a couple ready for the first years.
"And before everyone runs off to the showers," she said, effectively silencing everyone once more. "Let's finally hear the speech our captain has been sitting on all this time."
Kurimatsu blanched as everyone turned to face him once again. He hardly felt the encouraging pat Shourin gave him on the back. However, Otonashi was smiling kindly and, as he glanced towards Kabeyama and Shishido, he felt some of the nervousness disappear.
Maybe he didn't quite fit the description of a captain—not yet anyway—but he had the support of everyone around him. He wasn't alone in this. His friends and teammates would be there to help. With that he felt a calmness wash over him and he took a confident step forward.
Taking a moment to look at everyone, Kurimatsu realised too that there was no need for a long-winded speech. There never had been.
"Welcome, everyone, and good work today," he said, smiling. " I'm no good with speeches to be honest, so let's keep this nice and simple." He took a deep breath and grinned broadly. "Let's continue to play soccer together from now on!"
Happy Inavember y'all!
These first (third) years need some love and somehow I have gained a new appreciation for Shourin. He is a good kid. They all are.
Anyway, this came to be thanks to enyaga on tumblr, so there ya have it.
Hope you enjoyed and I wish you a nice day! Bye-bye!