"C-c-come on, Tweek. You ca-can do it!"

"No way!" Tweek's voice squeaked as he gave an involuntary scream. "If I get in, I could drown and die!"

Tweek stood on a ladder attached to the side of the pool, unable to will himself to jump in. Clyde had invited him, Craig, Token and Jimmy to come swimming in his pool. Craig stood in the middle of the water, still wearing his hat. Clyde lay on a pool float, floating around the pool as he sipped at a juice box. He wore sunglasses and a dab of sunscreen on his nose. When told to rub the sunscreen in, he insisted that this was how cool people in movies wore it.

Jimmy was the only one besides Tweek who wasn't in the pool. He relaxed in a lawn chair just outside of the pool, joking around with Token who would hang his head out of the pool to talk to him. On a little table next to Jimmy sat Stripes cage. The little gate on the cage was open, and Stripe sat on Jimmy's lap.

"Jesus dude come on," Craig stood in the center of the pool, staring at Tweek who refused to move from the ladder. "You're taller than the water level, and you're wearing floaties. You're not going to drown, just get in the pool."

Token looked back to the two boys and crossed his arms, leaning against the edge of the pool.

"I mean, he technically could still drown. He could always slip and fall or something."

"Nnn see?! I'm just going to sit here where it's safe." Tweek lowered himself into a sitting position on the ladder, dangling his feet in the water. He crossed his arms, shaking as the cold breeze hit his skin.

Craig felt a nudge against his arm, and looked over to see the float Clyde was laying on.

"Dude can you steer that thing somewhere else?" Craig shoved the pool float, knocking the unsuspecting Clyde into the water.

After a few moments, Clyde erupted out of the water, juice box still in hand.

"Dude, you got my hair wet!"

"Yeah, it's a pool." Craig turned his attention back to Tweek, who he could see shivering with his arms crossed. It probably was too cold of a day to go swimming, but when you get invited to swim, you always accept. "Here babe, grab my hand. I'll help you out into the water," Craig reached his hand out to Tweek.

Clyde smiled reassuringly to Tweek. "It's kinda cold at first, but you get used to it."

Tweek's eyes widened as his gaze set from Clyde to Craig's hand, and he nervously reached out to it.

"Okay," he exhaled.

Tweek pushed himself into a standing position and began stepping down the ladder as Craig urged him into the water. Craig pulled his hand a little more. Not expecting the tug, Tweek missed the step and felt his heart begin to race with panic as he fell into the water.

"Shit," Craig sighed as soon as he recognized the splash of water about to hit him, knowing exactly what Tweek's response would be.

Craig ripped his now soaking hat off of his head, tossing it out of the pool. After a moment of flailing, Tweek resurfaced, shivering with fear in his eyes.

"What the fuck was that?!" Standing, the water just barely reached Tweek's chin.

"I was trying to help you in, I didn't mean to pull so hard."

"You could've killed me!"

"Tweek, you're fine. Look," Craig grabbed Tweek's arms and pulled the floaties off. By some spark of magic, Tweek had not yet drowned. "You don't even need the floaties. You're going to be okay. Just have fun."

The racing fear in Tweek's chest slowed, and he nodded his head. Even though he recognized Craig was right, and he would be okay, he still grabbed his floaties and slipped them back on.

Clyde watched the two and pulled himself back onto his pool float, chuckling.

"Dude Tweek, no offense, but I am so glad I'm not your boyfriend."

Craig and Tweek shared a glance. After a moment of trying to catch his breath, Tweek mumbled under his breath and the two began to snicker.

"Wh-what did he say?" Clyde pulled down his sunglasses.

"He said he's glad you're not his boyfriend, too."

"WHA--" Clyde shot upright, ripping off his sunglasses and throwing them into the water. "Tweek, I'm hurt! Why don't you want to date me?"

"It's because you're fa- because you're faaa- it's because you're f-fat." Jimmy shot Clyde a wide grin from outside the pool.

"I'm not fat!"

"Just a liiiiiittle chubby," Token snickered.

"Guys.." Clyde's eyes began to well with tears before his eyebrows lowered in a defensive scowl. "Besides, Tweek's chubby, too!"

Everyone turned to Tweek, his eyes widened in panic as he realized he was being brought to the center of attention.

"I…I didn't think I was that chubby!"

"Hey!" Craig shot Clyde a glare. "Still skinnier than you!"

"U-uh oh," Jimmy snickered

"Jesus, Clyde," Token glanced at Clyde. "Tweek didn't do anything to you, dude."

Clyde, looked town, forcing a breath out through his closed lips. He nodded, turning his attention to Tweek. He could see the pain that Tweek had felt. Watching, Clyde saw Craig put his arm on Tweek's back, saying something quietly to calm him down.

"Yeah, you're right." Clyde exhaled again. "I'm sorry, Tweek. I got mad."

Tweek still averted his eyes, but mumbled a quick "it's okay," seemingly lost in thought. After a moment of silence, he released the thought on his mind, his words sounding defensive.

"You do know that I don't have a crush on every guy just because I'm gay, right?" Tweek twitched, still shivering from the water.

"That's what you gathered from this?" Tokens confused words were matched by sharing a glance with Jimmy.

Clyde chose to ignore Token, and his brow furrowed in confusion. "You don't?"

"Yeah, like, you don't have a crush on every gi-"

"Not a good comparison, Tweek," Token glanced back to Tweek. "He DOES have a crush on every girl."

Jimmy snickered. "Yeah. Clyde chases p-p-puss more than a dog."

"Well, fine," Clyde threw his hands in the air. "What does Craig have that I don't?"

"Dude," Token lowered his eyes. "You're acting a little gay."

"Yeah dude, quit being gay," Craig spoke without a trace of irony while Tweek snickered behind him.

"Oh, whatever," Clyde slid off his pool float, bumping it near Token. "The chicks wouldn't let me be gay, anyway."

"What does that mean?" Token's brow furrowed as he pushed the pool float away.

"It means I'm just too good looking to be gay. I mean like, no offense, but attractive guys can't be gay."

"What? Nuh uh!" Craig immediately glared at Clyde. "I'm not ugly!"

"You were like, #12 when the girls made that list of the cutest boys. Not to brag, but I WAS #1!"

"A-and Clyde won't need b-br-b-braces when he gets o-older."

One of Craig's hands instinctively clasped over his mouth and he flipped Jimmy off with his free one.

"Fuck you, dude. I'm taking Stripe back, you don't get to hang out with him anymore."

"It was just a j-joke, Craig. Don't be such a p-puss."

Craig climbed out of the pool and made his way over to Jimmy, taking Stripe from him and making his way back towards everyone else.

"Well, I was #8!" Tweek's voice raised a little louder than intended. "That's not bad, right?"

"Yeah, I honestly don't know how you managed to get so high on the list." Clyde allowed himself to float on his back.

Craig made his way into the pool, holding Stripe over his head. He grabbed Clyde's pool float and pulled it closer before setting Stripe on it. Stripe wiggled his nose and laid down on his comfy new bed. Craig softly pushed the pool float towards Tweek, who began petting Stripe.

"So Cl-clyde, speaking of the ladies. Any pr-pro-prospects on the h-horizon?"

"Well," Clyde chuckled, "I was talking to Porsche the other day-"

"You weren't talking to Porsche," Craig raised an eyebrow. "You were at Raisins, and she was your waitress."

"She said she thinks I'm cool!" Clyde's voice whined in a defensive tone.

"Yeah dude, I was there," Craig held his arms out, gesturing to everyone else. "We were all there."

Before anyone could respond, the gang heard more voices they recognized, but hadn't expected to hear.

"Why don't you ever invite us over, Clyde?"

Everyone turned their heads to see Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny. Stan shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, Clyde!" Cartman scoffed. "What, are we too coo for you?"

"No, fatass!" Craig rolled his eyes. "It's because you guys suck."

"Wh-?" Cartman turned and looked at Kenny. "If you listen really closely Kinny, you can HEAR the sand in his vagina! You might wanna get your boyfriend to fix that for you, Craig."

"Dude," Kyle scowled, "that's not cool."

"Yeah Cartman, lay off. You're the only reason they don't like hanging out with us!"

"To be honest," Token shrugged, "the rest of them aren't bad."

"You guys can be kinda d-dicks sometime, but not as bad as him."

"Thanks!" Kyle smiled brightly.

"So, can we come in?"

Everyone turned to look at Clyde, who nodded.

"Yeah guys, just not Cartman. You can fuck off, Cartman."

Cartman dropped his jaw in anger as his three friends cheered happily. As Kenny started to run to the pool, Cartman grabbed his shoulder.

"You can't even swim, Kinny! Come hang out with me instead of these pussies!"

He could very faintly hear a "fuck you, dude!" come from Kenny's parka, and they watched as Kenny ran to the pool yelling "woohoo!"

Kenny climbed up the ladder and, without removing his parka, jumped into the water head first. There was a moment of complete silence, until Kenny's body resurfaced upside down, his face still in the water.

"Gah!" Tweek jumped back away from the body. "I told you guys! I told you I could've drowned!"

"Oh God dammit! Now my dad's going to make me clean out the pool again. Alright guys, grab Kenny."

(One line long bonus ending):

Kenny flipped around, floating on his back, coughing on water. "I'm okay!"