Imagine the song is Jazmine's thoughts cos the story is told in Huey's POV. I think it's the BEST breakup song EVER… its by Taylor Swift and YES it's a country song… but its still funny so I used it.
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To state the obvious
I didn't get my perfect fantasy
It's been a few days since the break up. Jazmine was taking it… well… quite well, actually. I mean, sure, it had been weird dating and all, but I thought she'd be cool with being friends. Boy was I wrong.
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
I mean, she was too overbearing as a girlfriend. I needed some space. She always wanted to drive my car…as IF I was about to let her do that! I mean… What if she wrecked it? We weren't insured in her name. And yeah, so I told Caesar and Riley… which may have not been too nice but they understood. I didn't expect her to come to school whispering and giggling with Cindy at me.
"Man!" Riley came up to me that day, smacking me hard on the back and dragging me into the boys room to gimmie a serious talk, "Is it true?"
"Is what true?"
"Cindy… Cindy told me that… that Jazmine…said…"
"Jazmine said what?"
"Said that you's… you's… gay,"
"Gay!?"
"Look man! Yo ma brothah and I'll love you 'nyway but… I needs ta know,"
That's fine I'll tell mine you're gay!
I growled and pushed him away, walking out of the restroom and storming off to class. He was on my heels, nagging in my ear. What was Jazmine thinking!? Why would she say that!? She knew I wasn't… unless…
And by the way…
"You told Cindy what I said about Jazmine, didn't you?" I muttered.
"Yeah. Why?"
Oh. THAT was it, was it? That was the game she wanted to play? Fine.
I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreaker
Who's really bad at lying
It didn't end there, though. A few days later, she was cheering for the soccer team, as she always did. Normally, I'd go t o Caesar's games so the three of us could hang out and stuff… I mean, my girlfriend was a cheerleader and my best friend was the captain of the soccer team. It just worked out that way, ya know?
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn.
Well, when the game ended, and I went on the field to gather with everyone else, I found Jazmine and Caesar in a kiss. Yes, folks. She was trying the "best friend rebound" card. And Caesar was letting her! What a traitor!
There's no time for tears
I'm just sitting here planning my revenge
When I confronted him about it, he confessed that it was a one time thing and that it wouldn't happen again. That was fine and dandy… until I found out she had dates with Riley, AND Hiro.
There's nothing stopping me
From going out with all of your best friends.
Cairo showed up this weekend. I was like, "what the hell?!" but then, guess what? He was in to see Jazmine. They spent the whole weekend together! Of course he had to come tell me some shit, afterwards.
Girl was relentless.
Seeing no end to this war, I stopped by her house to apologize, but her father threatened me. Tom actually threatened me! Maybe he was possessed again… neh. I doubt it. Jazmine probably just over worked the tears when my name was mentioned.
And if you come around
Saying sorry to me
My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be
She wasn't hurt. She wasn't in pain from me breaking up with her. I noticed her catty smirks at me when we passed in the halls. When she would hold hands with one of my friends, I couldn't get that smug grin off of her face. Can you SAY madness!!??!
I guess… I was starting to fall for her again. I needed to speak with her. So, after cheerleading practice, I decided to apologize, her father couldn't touch me there.
"Jazmine, can we talk?"
"Sure, Huey," She smiled. There was evil in that angelic face.
"I'm… sorry," I saw her eyes narrow wickedly, "But… But I think I made a huge mistake,"
And if you're missing me
You better keep it to yourself
"Yes you did,"
"And I think we… we should try again,"
"DO you?" She asked coyly, whipping out her cell and pressing it to her ear. She tapped her foot twice and waited for a moment. My cell started ringing in my pocket. What the hell was she thinking? Did she think this was cute or something? I guess it kinda was. I knew she was just trying to make me jealous. She did still like me.
I slowly took it out and pressed the mobile to my ear, "hello…?"
Cuz coming back around here
Would be bad for your health
"GO FUCK YOURSELF, FREEMAN!" She hollered as loud as she could. I have NEVER had so much pain from a loud noise. Ever. I think my ears were bleeding as I tore the painful device away from my face.
I really really hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreaker
"JESUS CHRIST!" I exclaimed. Her foot slammed down on mine and she stuck her nose in the air.
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn
"Get the picture?" She said in an overly sickly sweet voice and skipped merrily away. She hopped into Cindy's roofless mustang and gave her a high five and sped off. I heard them laughing wickedly. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Well… Maybe… Maybe she isn't trying to play hard to get. Cos…well… if she is… she's winning pretty damn good.
Burn burn burn baby burn
Just another picture to burn
Baby burn
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U KNOW that was funny. Don't try to lie