NOTES: The events prior to the beginning of this story are the same as in the show; basically up to the point when Rumple cast Belle out of the castle. Since that moment it's an AU, and the story here picks up several weeks after that. There's no Regina, no kidnapping, no telling Rumple that she died. Also, I pretty much messed up Charming and Snow's timeline, but whatever ^^.

I hope you will enjoy the story! :) And reviews are always appreciated! :)

It's an One-shot. Story also found on AO3, under the same title.

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The last several weeks have been a real nightmare for Rumplestiltskin. He couldn't sleep, even after drinking a sleeping potion, he couldn't focus his thoughts on anything, he had ruined every potion he tried to make, and even spinning wasn't able to put him at peace… His each and every thought was occupied with Belle. His darling Belle… He simply couldn't banish her from his mind. The last time they saw each other, when he threw her out, her last words to him "all you will have is an empty heart and a chipped cup"… He lost her, the best thing that has happened to him since after the loss of his dear son. His light. His True Love. He had understood his mistake as soon as he told her to go, and she did. Now he missed her. His heart ached so much, it scared him. It was old and withered and it never felt more alive than when he had Belle next to him, and it never felt more dead than now when he lost her. And all this was his fault. He'd been so distrustful, so cowardly… It was easier to see her as a traitor, than to believe in her feelings, easier to just succumb to what the darkness inside him was saying, than to face the reality. His Belle was honest, he knew that. She would never feigned affection like that, she would never betray him. True Love's kiss couldn't be faked anyway, he knew that too. But still he threw her out. Out of his castle and out of his life. Aside of letting go of the hand of his dearest boy at the damned portal, there was not a thing he regretted more. Now he hasn't seen her from weeks, and she probably hated him now. He broke her heart; took it out of her chest together with her trust and crushed both, and he highly doubted she could ever forgive him for that. That's why he didn't try to find her, and decided to live with this pain, his own punishment.

However after the days past, it started getting quite unbearable, that piercing pain in his chest every time he saw something that reminded him of Belle, moments when he was thinking of her so intently the tears stung his eyes and he couldn't breathe, and moments when he would call her and just after there no answer came, he would realize that she wasn't there anymore. After weeks of isolation, ignoring all callings and trying so hard to spin his pain and guilt away, he felt like he was about to go mad. So one day, when he was called by Prince Charming, he finally decided to go out of the castle and answer the call. He hoped that maybe this, focusing on something else some place far away from the castle full of memories, would allow him to take his mind off of this torture at least for a moment.

What he did not know, was just how important that call will turn out to be.

: : . . . : :

Belle looked around the hall anxiously, her fingers nervously flexing the gold fabric of her ball gown. Just not much but over a month ago she was sitting at the dwarf's inn, drinking her sorrows away, trying not to cry over the love she had lost. She should have never trusted that woman on the road; Belle felt there was something shady about her from the beginning, but still she listened to her. How couldn't she, when the woman presented her with the way of breaking Rumplestiltskin's curse? She thought that's what he wanted, but now she understood she shouldn't have presumed. It was too late now however. He obviously felt something to her back then, as the kiss worked, but now as far as she knew, his feelings could have changed diametrically.

She did not see much hope at the beginning, the first few days. But then she met Dreamy, a dwarf in love. And then there was Philip, the man cursed into the beast, which said curse she helped to break and reunited him with his true love princess Aurora. Talking with those people made her realize the importance of love, and the need to fight for it. She wasn't sure if it would even work, if Rumple wouldn't still be thinking of her as a traitor or even hate her, and if so, then her efforts would only bring more pain and heartbreak. Unsure of what to do, she stalled, deciding to help Snow White whom she met at the forest road. Only then, meeting her and Prince Charming, her doubts had finally dispersed, and she made up her mind, deciding to come back and fight. Rumple was worth fighting for, after all.

But when few days ago Snow had told her about the ball they were organizing, Belle came out with another idea. Instead of going to Rumple, she could make him come here. She truly feared that if she came to the castle he would just hid in his tower and avoid her, taking he wouldn't simply throw her out again. Here at least the atmosphere should be a bit looser, and besides, she really wanted to dance with him. If he indeed didn't want her back, she could have at least this one last nice memory.

So today, at the day of the Grand Ball, she asked Prince Charming to call upon him, hoping that he would answer. She knew that Rumplestiltskin was quite extensively helping him and Snow, so there was a high chance that he would come (and truly, she was glad that they didn't ask questions. She confided in Snow, from the need to take it all out from her chest, but she never mentioned the name. She wasn't sure if Rumple would appreciate it if she did. Though, remembering Snow's peculiar half-shocked look she gave her at her request to call Rumplestiltskin, and a very suspicious look at Belle's horrible blush in the place of explanation as to why she wanted to call him, if that was any indication, Snow already had strong suspicions. And was it good or not, Belle wasn't sure).

But now, when the ball has already began, the music starting playing and couples slowly beginning to crowd the floor, she stood aside looking nervously at the front door, waiting for Rumple to show up, and the doubts started floating inside her once more.

He already thought she tricked him before, but when then he was wrong, now she was really tricking him, luring him to come here thinking someone wanted to make a deal, while it was all her doing. She wasn't sure how he would react. And what was she supposed to say anyway? She couldn't just confess her feelings and ask about his, she would just scare him again. What to do then? What to say…?

Her thoughts were interrupted when the door opened suddenly and the silence fell all over the room. She refocused her eyes there, seeing her Rumplestiltskin (and was she even allowed to think that way about him?). He stopped in the passage, allowing Belle just the right view of him, and she couldn't stop her eyes from wandering through his silhouette. He was clad in his usual leather pants, but matched with a golden waistcoat and a velvet blue coat, something she has never seen him wear before, and it was making him look truly dashing, even more than he usually did. Many would think her crazy, but she truly thought of him as handsome. Not in a common way, obviously, but sometimes when she looked closer, when she took into his overly-big golden eyes, the sweet smile he tried hard to not make her see, the wavy hair looking so very soft, or even the strange texture of his skin that glittered beautifully in the sun, she found it all adding up to a very attractive look.

And then, there was also his flamboyance and dark sense of humor, that she oddly enough found really funny, there was the way he cared about her - even though he would not admit it, there were the little chats they often had at evenings, sharing tea and company by the fireplace, there were the small things she's been finding out about him that no one else knew about... Since when he spared Robin Hood's life and she realized there was a man behind the beast, it were all those things, and more, that made her consider him a friend rather than master, and fall in love with him over time. She couldn't quite pinpoint when it had happened, when the fondness she was feeling towards him, the sense of friendship, even though it wasn't a real friendship, when it turned into something more, this hot burning into her, the urge to steal little not-so accidental touches, feeling butterflies in her stomach and tingling on her skin at his proximity, and spending many restless nights thinking about him and what they could have had together…

She shook herself out from her daydreaming and refocused on Rumplestiltskin. He was now scanning the room, looking for Charming most likely, and Belle moved behind the column a little more, so he wouldn't notice her. From her position she glanced at where she knew David and his wife were standing, and she noticed the moment they made an eye-contact with Rumple, Snow almost jumping in place as if reality suddenly stroke her, and she quickly told musicians to start playing music again and asked guests to resume their dances, that way breaking the awkward silence that fell over the room.

Rumple was making his way over to Charmings now, and oh… He looked uncomfortable, Belle suddenly noticed. She could see that in the way his jaws where tightly clenched and his shoulders unnaturally squared… He definitely didn't want to be here, with all those people around. He was a rather solitary soul, and Belle cursed herself for not thinking about that detail and deliberately putting him into this situation. She just hoped that when she will reveal herself to him, it won't make his mood any worse. She still felt slightly unsure, not knowing what reaction she could expect. After all, she knew better than anyone just what an unpredictable man he was…

Be brave and bravely will follow…, she reminded herself, as she made her way towards him, hiding among the crowds, staying conveniently unnoticed by him.

: : . . . : :

Rumplestiltskin walked into the ballroom, stopping at the entrance and taking in his surroundings. He'd heard the music already from the gates, and that reminded him of the ball that Charmings were throwing. Today. And just why did Charming pick that particular day to call upon him, was beyond him. On first instinct he wanted to turn back and forgo the deal, but after a minute of inner debate he decided to stay and go along with it after all. First however, he magicked himself a new set of clothes, replacing his regular dragon hide coat and furry cloak with something more… elaborate. Going to the Grand Ball of the Prince Charming and his wife Snow White he couldn't after all look as he always did. A bit of style wouldn't do any harm, he thought, and perhaps it would only add to the shocking reaction his sudden appearing here will cause.

Merely few second passed before people noticed him, and then, as if on cue, everyone went silent, even the musicians. The dances ceased, people basically held their breaths, and all eyes turned at him with fear.

He didn't like it, all this attention, and so he tried to ignore the looks and focus on locating Prince Charming. The faster he's done with it, the faster he will leave this crowded place and be back in his quiet empty castle. An inexplicable sting he felt in his stomach at the thought, and it made him drawn into a deeper breath. The castle wasn't so quiet, or empty, when Belle was in it. He actually looked forward to coming back to it, knowing he will see her smiling beautiful face, asking him questions about his travels and pouting so adorably when he avoided the answer. He pretended to not care about their chats over the tea, seemingly answering her out of boredom and nothing more, while truly he found those moments the most enjoyable parts of the day. Belle was truly an intelligent woman, and very well-read, and when she talked about the books she'd read and shared her opinions on things she liked about them and things she didn't, he would always listen to it captivated, if not even quite impressed by some of her bold opinions. She truly was something special. As was the connection they had. In those little moments, when they would find themselves in a close proximity, and she would shine that brilliant smile of hers at him, talk to him like she would to a friend, and look at him like he was an ordinary man, and for a moment there he could forget what an ugly undeserving beast he really was. Belle was truly one of the kind, the only person that stirred in him long forgotten feelings; not only did she make him rediscover his capacity to love and care, but she was the only person that made him feel happy. Since he met her, for the first time in long centuries, he felt as if he was truly alive, and more incredibly, the darkness in him stilled when he was with her; the voice always urging him to do evil, went silent that day when he caught Belle when she fell from a ladder and experienced a mini heart-attack at the thought she could snap her neck and die, and miraculously the voice did not come back since then, when he was in her presence, not until their disastrous kiss…

He shut his eyes firmly to blink away the tears that suddenly pooled at his eyes, and shook his head trying to get rid of the images of Belle. He couldn't think of her right now. He came here explicitly to not think about her. He had to clear his head, at least for one evening, or he would simply go mad.

What was he about to do anyway?

Ah yes, find Charming.

He resumed scanning the room, doing his best to not think of the last months, and after a moment he finally found the Prince amongst the crowd, accompanied by his fresh wife. As his eyes locked first at him, then at the woman at his side, it seemed to tear Snow White out of trance, as she stirred and turned to the musicians, telling them to renew playing, and then proceeded to encourage people to come back to dancing. They did as she said, though with some obvious doubtfulness, and there was still nervousness felt around very tangibly. Rumple just kept his jaws clenched as he started to make his way over to Charmings, purposefully ignoring everyone around him, trying to spread around him the aura of confidence and power, instead of misery he felt at heart.

When he stopped before them, Prince Charming seemed more nervous than Rumple had expected him to be. It was not like they were doing business together for the first time, after all. He creased his brow in suspiciousness as he looked up at the man (and did the bloody prince really had to be so tall?).

"What can I do for you this time, Prince Charming?" He deliberately accented the ridiculous nickname. When there was no answer for a longer time, just quite skittish looks cast aside, he felt himself growing impatient.

"Hurry up, I don't have a whole day." He reprimanded, while he waved his hand around in a showy manner, something he very often did. His wild gesturing made people unease, and that was exactly what he wanted to accomplish. He rarely behaved that way around Belle, he thought gloomily. He grew accustomed to her, enough to feel quite comfortable, just enough to not have to hide behind his leather coats and flourishes, for the most time. He didn't even notice when he started to lower his walls around her, and the day when she kissed him, when he allowed for that closeness, it terrified him at the time, but now he couldn't stop replaying it in his head at nights, thinking of how it could have ended had he not screwed everything up.

His attention was brought back to the present by Charming, who cleared his throat rather loudly and rather nervously. He looked at Snow, then back at him, and seemed to be sweating. That reminded Rumple of how suspicious the prince's behavior was today, and so he glared at him with a hard, demanding look.

"Well… I don't actually need any deal…" Charming finally uttered, but just what the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Why did you call me then?" He barked angrily at the prince, making him back away a step. He hated when someone was beating about the bush instead of speaking plainly, and even more, when someone was simply wasting his time.

Charming was just opening his mouth, when a sudden voice behind Rumple made his heart come to a halt, before it accelerated in an insane speed.

"It was actually my idea to call you, Rumplestiltskin".

He turned, not believing his ears, but there she was, standing in front of him. Belle. The same Belle, with so soft looking brown hair he lingered to touch every time he looked at her back in the Dark Castle, with those incredibly blue eyes in which he always found himself drowning each time he looked at them, with those beautiful full lips which taste he still could feel… His Belle.

His brain was in such a stupor, that he didn't even notice Charmings taking their furtive departure.

"Belle… I… You…" He was stammering like an idiot, but he just couldn't quite comprehend it. He came here wanting to forget about her for a moment, and here it turns out she was behind it all, that she wanted to meet with him? His heart made a loop, but his brain told it to calm dawn and not make any hopes. Maybe she was just in a need of assistance, and only wanted to make a deal with him. The mere idea hurt, but he couldn't exclude it, not without confirmation.

"Did you call me to make a deal?" He brought himself to ask, and her slightly quivering smile she had a seconds ago now fell away, her face taking into a look of a weird mix of sadness and hope. If he didn't know her, he could even say that she seemed a bit shy, nervous even. How peculiar.

"No, I don't want to make a deal. I just… wanted to see you, Rumple."

Oh. Could it… No. Surely she couldn't…

"Belle, I…" I missed you. I love you. Please come back home with me…

He drew into a deep breath. How was he going to say that? He didn't even plan on saying that, on seeing her again… But now here she was, and he couldn't let her go away again. But if he wanted to convince her to come back home with him, he had to earn her forgiveness, and for that, he had to finally give her something from himself. Instead, he was stammering, and sweating, his heart beating so fast it was deafening, and the panic kept creeping up at him more and more with each passing second.

Before he could produce more of this babble though, Belle cut in, with a wave of her head and an indulgent smile, throwing him a lifeline.

"We can talk later, Rumple, there will be plenty of time for that. Right now just… Just let's dance."

Her offer left him even more dumbfounded, and not able to react in any way he just stood there, staring at her wide-eyed. It didn't discourage Belle though, quite the opposite actually. She grabbed his hands in hers, with her smile growing and eyes somewhat sparkling with mirth, dared he hope. She started dragging him at the dance floor and he just dumbly followed, relishing in the heat of her dainty hands and the brightness of her smile.

He truly thought she would be mad at him, but instead she seemed happy to see him. That was confusing to say at least. Not that he would prefer her being angry with him, naturally.

They stopped at the middle of the floor, and he stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. With a patient smile, and without a trace of disgust, Belle took his right hand and placed it at her hip, while his left hand curled underneath her right. Lastly she put her other hand at his shoulder, and looked him into the eyes, waiting for him to take the lead.

He gulped, tightening the grip a bit, and proceeded with first steps. The music was quite energetic one, encouraging to take over the entire floor and dance to the loss of breath. He was barely aware of people around them stilling completely, again, then unsurely resuming their dances after Snow White's another encouragement. He was too focused on the beauty in his arms, to pay attention to anything else. He didn't even pay much attention to his steps, just letting the music carry his feet, as they glided through the floor, free and uncaring about the world around them, and he was completely mesmerized by Belle's blue eyes, so close, so bright, so very beautiful, and never leaving his own, even for a split second.

It felt so wonderful. Just as if the last weeks never happened. As if he never yelled at her, shaking her by shoulders in rage, throwing her into the dungeon cell and then telling her to get out of the castle, as if they weren't separated for long long days, as if he (and dare he dream 'they'?) wasn't dying from yearning for her…

He knew it won't last, that when the dance will end, they would have to talk, because all those horrible things did happen.

But maybe he could convince her to come back with him? He didn't deny anymore that she was his whole life, his destiny. His future, if she allowed it. He didn't want to be separated from her ever again. And if he had to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, let's be it. Sure enough, he deserved such humiliation.

The squeeze Belle gave his shoulder brought him back from his thoughts. She was looking at him with a slight frown between her brows, the way he knew meant she was concerned. He gave her a tiny smile to reassure her and, trying to ignore his pounding heart from the knowledge she could still feel worried over him, that she could ever in fact, and he changed the direction of their dance and gave her a swoop around, her legs picking up from the ground. Oh, she was so light, like a soft feather in his arms…

Taken by surprise she let out a small shriek, followed by a giggle when her feet returned to the floor, and a siren take him if that wasn't the most adorable sound he's ever heard. His heart seemed to agree in full, as it fluttered crazy in his chest, making him feel a bit light-headed. Even more so, when after landing, Belle was suddenly even closer to him than before. They stopped dancing at that point, just stood there, her both hands around his neck now, playing with the hair there and making his skin prickle, while his own hands travelled somehow without his will to her waist, holding her close to him and secure.

He didn't know how long they stood there, not moving, just looking at each other, with longing and love. At least that's what he was feeling and thought was visible in his eyes, and what he hoped he was reading right from hers.

Only after what seemed like an eternity, and what in reality couldn't be longer than several minutes, they broke apart, suddenly becoming quite aware of all the eyes directed at them and eerie silence in the whole room. Even Snow White wasn't able to change that this time, and he half-mindedly wondered why she interfered before in the first place.

He couldn't think more of it, or of anything really, when Belle grabbed his hand and led him out of the room, completely ignoring the looks people were giving them and some of non-so-well-concealed whispers.

As they strode through the empty corridors, her small hand still clutching his and the distant music picking up again, Rumple focused on breathing evenly and getting his pounding heart under control. They passed a corridor after corridor; turning right, then right again, then left and up the staircase and then another staircase, and all this time they kept silent, both focused on their thoughts.

Eventually Belle came to a halt by the narrow white-wooden door, and silently opened them.

"I think that's gonna be a good place for as to have the talk." She stated with a serious note to her voice, letting go of his hand as she stepped inside, and he quietly followed, dreading that talk more than anything. It was important, the things they had to discuss, and if he screw this up, he would surely be coming back home alone, possibly to never see his Belle again…

His heart hammered in his chest, as he closed the door behind him carefully, then turned to face Belle.

Only now he noticed that she led them to the balcony, fairly far away from the ballroom and all prying ears and eyes. A pleasant warm breeze hit his face, as he stood by the door, fidgeting nervously with his hands.

Warily he was watching Belle's beautiful exposed back, as she stood by the railing, looking out at the green forest spreading out before the palace. Only now did he truly notice what she was wearing, an elegant golden gown, surprisingly perfectly matching the gold vest he wore. It made her look truly like a princess she was, and that made him feel only more undeserving of her. How is it, that from all people, she fell in love with a monster? She was the most beautiful, wonderful thing in the realm, in all realms. If he could just earn her forgiveness…

"I don't bite Rumple…" He heard her say, and she was looking at him now, and how did he miss the moment when she turned around? He raised his eyes up to hers, and there was a teasing spark there, matched with the smirk on her lovely lips. That was one of the many things he so adored about her. Belle was never afraid of him, never running away from his tantrums, never trembling from his dark jokes (but laughing at them actually), never afraid to tease him or talk back. She was brave, oh so brave. Something he was not.

He didn't quite trust his throat right now, so he just nodded, trying to keep the embarrassment and nervousness he was currently feeling at bay, as he made slow way towards her, standing beside her, but not too close. He looked out at the landscape, trying to brace himself for what was coming. He so much wanted to think positively, but he just couldn't help the panic creeping into him more and more with every passing second. Maybe she just wanted to make a nice memory, to remember this as their last moment together, instead of the heartbreaking scene in the dungeon? Or maybe all this was just a scheme, to make him suffer only more? No, his Belle was not cruel.

Gods, he wished she started to speak already, because he just couldn't stand the tension anymore.

He almost jumped out of his skin when suddenly Belle's hand covered his ugly one at the railing. He looked at her with wide eyes, but encountered only her soft blue orbs, staring at him with such a deep warmth, that he felt like crying.

"Why are you so nervous, Rumple?"

He swallowed hard and looked away, feeling too ashamed to keep up her stare, and Belle's hand dropped from his, making him immediately miss her warmth.

"Rumple, look at me…" She asked of him softly, but he stubbornly kept his eyes fixed at the horizon.

"Please…"

Now, that made the trick. He could never refuse her, when she pleaded with him. Slowly, carefully, he moved his eyes to her face, and stared.

He wanted to tell her that he was an idiot and he was so sorry. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, more than anything. He wanted to tell her that he wanted her to stay with him, forever. But he wasn't able to talk, and certainly not to say any of those things. They were big. And he dreaded the answer he may have heard.

: : . . . : :

Seeing just how nervous Rumple was, Belle knew that she couldn't let her own nervousness shown up. But it already wear off from her for the most part. All was going pretty well so far; the dance was certainly the best in her life. She never felt so wonderful in someone's arms, and when he scooped her up, she wasn't afraid, even if her heart made a loop, she trusted him, knew he wouldn't let her fall. And then she landed on the ground and found herself so close to him, almost flush to his body. She was staring into his intoxicating huge amber eyes the whole time, and he never reverted his look. It was perfect. And it meant that he didn't hate her, so that was a start. But now they had to talk. She couldn't come back with him, if he would have her even, not without making things clear between them. And there was a lot to explain. First of all however, there was one thing she needed to let out of her chest, before they could proceed to any other subject.

"I really didn't know this woman on road, Rumple". She wanted him to understand, to believe her. She herself now understood better, after talking with Snow White and finding out who the "Queen" Rumple mentioned really was. She wasn't surprised anymore that he reacted with such anger when he'd heard that she talked with that woman… If she just had known sooner…

She prepared herself to give him arguments, to try to convince him, and so she was surprised when he didn't argue, just nodded.

"I know. I realized that soon after… after my outburst…"

"Then why did you cast me out?" The question has been burning her mind since the moment it happened. If, after his tantrum had ended and he could think clearly, he realized that she was telling the truth, why he told her to go?

She watched him drew into a deep breath and let it out slowly, as his eyes shifted at the horizon once more. His face looked really sad, and she had a sudden urge to hug him. She contained it though, not wanting to risk spooking him, not in this important moment.

"Because I am an idiot." His quiet answer barely reached her ear, and it seemed to be directed more to himself than her. He still wasn't looking at her, and she carefully moved closer to him, slightly brushing her arm against his. There were questions she wanted to ask him, about his curse, why was he holding on to it, did it have something to do with his son?, but she pushed them to the back of her mind. It was too soon for those questions, and if he was to tell her about it, then it best be in the safe confines of his castle, than here, where there still could be an unwanted prying ear lurking somewhere.

"Have you ever thought about finding me?" She asked instead, trying to keep her voice from shaking, though it was difficult and she knew she sounded rather desperate.

"I have, yes." He admitted, and looked down at his hands. She followed suit, and only now noticed how hard was he grasping the railing, his calloused fingers almost drown out of their usual muddy color.

She carefully placed her own small hand on his again, feeling him tensing beside her, but his grip loosened up a bit.

"Why haven't you come then?" She asked softly, keeping any accusation out of her voice. She didn't blame him for not seeking her out. She did not come back to the castle either, after all.

Belle knew he would probably not give her a straight answer, so those questions were kind of pointless, but she hoped she could provoke him into at least some honesty. She didn't quite know what she was expecting to hear, to be frank. She doubted he would go as far as to confess his real feelings, but she needed to hear something, anything. She had to know that she wasn't just imagining things, that he truly wanted her, as much as she wanted him.

"What would be the point, Belle? After what I've done, how I treated you, how could I ever hope for your forgiveness?" He turned his head to her, a hopeless look in his eyes, and she felt her heart shatter into little pieces, at the sight as much as his words. She dared to raise her other hand and touch his cheek, his skin pleasantly cold under her fingers, slightly rough and just a bit slimy, but it felt so good to her. He closed his eyes and unconsciously nuzzled into her hand, her insides warming at that.

"I am not angry with you Rumple. I was for the first few days, but not anymore." She told him honestly, and his eyes opened, as he looked at her intently, with disbelief, but also burning hope.

"We both made mistakes, we both should have behaved differently. I should have talked with you instead of just proceeding, and you should have listened to me when I told you I didn't know the Queen and that I love you… You should have trusted me, Rumple… But we both are at fault here." She continued, her hand still softly stroking his cheek, and trying to keep her tone soft, even if her voice quivered from emotion.

It wasn't so hard to talk, now when she started. It actually felt good, to let that out of her chest. It already felt good to do that earlier, when she told the story to Snow White, avoiding the details of course, but this was different. Snow wasn't the person that Belle truly needed to talk to, the person that needed to hear those words. Rumple was.

But he still didn't say anything, just nodded his head in agreement, and then lowered his eyes to the ground. She sighed.

"Rumple? Please, say something…"

He didn't. His eyes returned to hers, but he only stared, his eyes big and sad. It seemed as if there was a hundred of things he wanted to say, but he was too afraid to speak them aloud. She couldn't blame him, she knew it wasn't easy for him to talk about feelings.

"Are you truly not mad with me, Belle?" He finally asked, and she shook her head at his inquiry, as she put her second hand at his other cheek, keeping his head steady and close with both hands. For a split second panic flicked through his face, as if he was afraid she was gonna to kiss him again, but he didn't pull out from her grasp. She knew they would have to work on trust, if they were to be living together, but that bit of it right now, that was already a big thing.

"I am truly not." She affirmed, and he sighed with relief. As much as he was tensed so far, now she felt him relax a bit, though his eyes still were intently fixed at her. Belle used their proximity to take a closer look at him. Already before, in the ballroom, she found herself thinking about him and how attractive to her he was, and now, having him so close, she started to think of it again. She found attractiveness in not only the mere look of him, that was strangely alluring to her, but also in the more prosaic things. There was a side of him only she could she, the moments where he didn't keep the armor around him, but was letting himself to be more relaxed in her presence. She could appreciate his smile then, the dark quips he was making which never failed to make her laugh, the soft look in his eyes when he didn't try to mask it… The look of astonishment when he caught her, when she had fallen from the ladder, and they were suddenly so very close to each other, the look of deep concern and big relief when he saved her life from three crazy witches, the look of amusement when it was her turn to make him laugh and he tried to stop himself from doing it... The longing in his eyes when he watched her read or bustle around, and thought she wasn't looking. All those were things only she got to see, and that were making her fall in love with him more and more with each day she spent with him.

She stroked her hands over his cheeks, relishing in his soft pleased sigh, as his eyes half-closed and he relaxed further. She used the opportunity to move closer to him, until they were flesh to flesh, and she could slide her arms around him in a hug, resting her head against his collarbone. The tension in him wasn't as great as when she hugged him the first time, all those months ago in the Sherwood Forest, and this time he reciprocated.

Belle felt his arms slowly snaking around her, running slowly through her bare back, making her shiver all over, and she had to bite back a moan. He felt so wonderful, so home, and the sudden surge of excitement she felt threw her off balance just a little. But pretty quickly his wandering hands stilled, as they settled firmly around her and hold her strong, clutching her to his chest desperately, as he nuzzled her hair, breathing her in. She didn't except him to hug her in such a vise grip, but, as it seemed, he was more desperate for this contact than she thought. So despite barely being able to breathe, she allowed him to hold her so tightly for a moment, enjoying the sturdiness of his body and relishing in how perfectly she molded against him.

Finally, with a tiniest breathed kiss to his neck, she slid her hands down to his chest, putting a gentle pressure at it, and he took the hint, loosening his grip and letting her step out from it. She only took a small half-step back though, not wanting to lose this closeness, and still standing in his personal space she took both of his hands into hers, gently running her thumbs through his rough skin.

For a moment they kept being silent, just looking at each other. She knew their conversation was far from over, but after ensuring herself that he didn't think of her as a traitor anymore, and so not boiling with anger at her too, and confirming to him that she wasn't angry as well, she felt quite at peace. They could postpone this conversation a bit, she thought, but there was still one essential question that had to be asked.

"Do you want me to come back?"

: : . . . : :

He was so afraid, but she managed to put him at ease. He didn't tell her all he wanted, he barely told her anything actually. But she seemed to be okay with his answers, as she didn't demand of him to elaborate. She didn't also demand of him confessions of love, and he was glad for it. He knew how he felt, but he still wasn't quite ready to speak it aloud. His mind didn't seem to recover from shock quite yet either, still considering the possibly that he fell asleep at the spinning wheel and all this was just a wonderful wish dream.

But then Belle moved closer to him, touched his cheek, then another one too, and for a moment he feared she would kiss him. There was no reason to be afraid of that, he told his coward part of himself, and forced himself to stay still, to not appear untrusting. He could see in her eyes though that she noticed his moment of panic, but she didn't say a word about it. Instead she gave him the answer for his question, told him that she really was not mad at him. A small part of him still didn't quite believe it, but he felt himself able to relax nonetheless. Then she stroked his cheeks, and his mind turned off for a moment, the feeling was so pleasant and so unfamiliar to him, an affectionate caress long forgotten to him.

Before he knew it, she was pressed flush against him, putting her arms around his neck, hugging him. He remembered the feeling when she hugged him for the first time, long months ago in the Sherwood Forest, causing him then to almost jump out of his skin at that sudden unexpected gesture. But it felt just so nice, he was grateful she was walking ahead afterwards and couldn't see his stupid grin. Now he was more used to her touch and proximity, the months after the events in the Sherwood Forest followed by many brushes of her hand over his shoulder or his own hand, of her sometimes nestling against his side with a book in a lazy evenings, or even kissing his cheek this one time when he got her a present for the Winter Solstice.

Now it felt as good, if not even better, and he put his hands around her too, splaying them at her back. He couldn't stop himself from running them through her bare skin there, the feeling of its heat and smoothness so pleasant, he wanted to growl. And then something squeezed his heart, gripped strong and didn't want to let go, and he crushed her to him, holding way too tight for her to be comfortable, but he couldn't bring himself to loosen his deadly grip, as he fought to breathe and to not cry.

They had a chance together, he didn't screw up completely. She still wanted him, and didn't hate him. And he had her in his arms now, and he could make things better. He will do things better, he vowed.

All too soon he felt her push against him, and he immediately released her, letting her take her space and breathe. He was pleased, as also a bit surprised, when she didn't move much away, and grabbed his hands, her dainty fingers drawing idle patterns on his ugly skin.

They stared into each other eyes, and he marveled at how the hell he got so lucky to have such a woman want him, him from all people, when she suddenly asked the question that he wanted to ask her since when he saw her today at the ballroom, but was too afraid to do so.

"Do you want me to come back?"

"Yes." He answered immediately, honestly. He couldn't otherwise, really. He did want her back, more than anything. The fact that she was willing to come back with him, instead of kicking him in the arse just as he deserved, was a true miracle.

She smiled then, a real smile reaching her eyes, alighting her face, and making it impossible for him to look away. He wanted her back and that was making her happy. He truly couldn't comprehend why. Why would she want a monster like him?

Somehow, miraculously, he won her heart, and he wasn't going to let go of it ever again, or at least as long as she would be willing to keep his own heart. It belonged to her now. Truth to be told, it belonged to her all along. Hers to cherish, and hers to crush. He hoped the latter wouldn't happen though, not with her. He certainly was going to cherish her heart and not break it, not cause her to suffer ever again, he promised himself in that moment. He might not be deserving her, but he will certainly do everything in his power to make her feel beloved, just as she was.

"Are we going home, Rumple?"

He looked at her, giving her a nod, not able to contain his own smile, as he stared into her eyes, feeling as if he was going to burst out from inside, as if he could jump from the railing and he would fly, the love and hope and happiness carrying him up in the air. It was a feeling he was so unfamiliar with, but he realized he did like it.

"We're going home." He confirmed in a reverent whisper, barely getting the words out through his clenched throat.

Tentatively he pulled her hands up, daring to kiss each of her palms, each of her fingers, all the while not tearing his eyes away from hers. There was a lovely shade of pink coloring her cheeks now, a tiny pleased smile playing at the corners of her mouth, her lovely plush lips parted a bit in a silent gasp.

Rumple reluctantly released her hands, and pulling Belle a bit closer to him with his arm around her waist, making sure she was secure and not able to slip from his grasp, he waved his free hand in the air, and they were no longer in the Snow White's and Prince Charming's palace, but at the Dark Castle; their home, where they could now start working on their future. Together.