Full Fledged
Rating PG / T
Summary: Coda S5E1 Partners. Jamie's thoughts and actions on the night of Edie's graduation from Probationary Officer, especially after Henry and Danny impart some wisdom.
Slamming his locker more forcefully then necessary, Jamie slumped down on the bench. His mind, his heart and his body were at war.
He knew the right thing to do was to be Edie's partner. He had to be by her side out on the streets. It was the best way to protect her. He also knew Renzulli was right; if they were romantically involved, they could not work together. The last thing he wanted was for one of them to be transferred to a different precinct. That would really interfere with his work because he'd spend all of his time worried about her. This way, as her partner, he could keep her safe.
Jamie also knew if Edie or Erin or any other woman knew he was thinking these things, they would kick his ass. He was no chauvinist. Edie was one of New York's Finest, just like him. She had proven herself out there during her probationary year but that jerk the other day still attested to the fact that she needed him to have her back and damn if he was going to let something happen to her. He had to be there. There was no other way.
His body was a different story. She may have looked like an eleven year old playing dress up when they first met, but with her hair down in civilian clothes, Edie Janko was one beautiful woman. Jamie closed his eyes trying in vain to shut out the memory of last spring – what it felt like to hold her in his arms, to feel her feminine body pressed up against his, to taste her sweet lips. He tried to brush it off. He swore to them both that it was a one-time thing; that they had gotten it out of their system and they could work together platonically at partners. But even as he reminded himself of all those promises and rationalizations, he knew he was lying.
When she waltzed in here tonight and literally caught him with his pants down, well, his body almost betrayed him. Jamie might not be a detective yet, but hadn't missed her heated gaze as she allowed her eyes to caress his bare chest. Instead of making eye contact and daring her to close the gap between them, he hid, like a coward, looking down and busying himself putting on his pants. He knew if he had looked up she would have taken up the challenge and who knows whether they would be able to put out that fire once that match was re-lit.
Edie was right about that Eagle Scout thing. A lesser man would have thrown her up against a locker, damn the consequences. But that was not the Reagan way. He was bound by honor and duty.
Heaving himself off the bench Jamie headed out to his childhood home in Bay Ridge and a night of playing cards with his grandfather. As much as he would have liked to attend Edie's wet down, knowing the whole shift would be there, Jamie was not about to give Renzulli reason to transfer them. He'd made his decision: he was staying Edie's partner.
*~*~*~*~* BB *~*~*~*~*
Jamie walked in carrying a six pack. Although there was beer in the fridge, he was in the mood for something a little lighter than the amber lager his old man drank and he certainly didn't want to start down the road of Irish Whiskey his grandfather would be drinking.
As he dealt the cards to his grandson across the dining room table, Henry began his mild interrogation. "I can't believe that you have nothing better going on, then to come all the way out here to play cards with an old man."
"Grandpa," Jamie chided. Truth was he liked spending time with his family.
The senior Reagan finished parceling out the cards and held up his hand in a soft stop. "Not that I'm not grateful for the company."
Jamie chuckled. "One of these days I'm going to beat you."
"Not tonight," Henry retorted, a confident smile on his face and a devilish twinkle in his eye.
They played a few hands in companionable silence. The Yankee game was on the TV in the background but neither was paying much attention. The Captain's departure was already one for the history books and it was mathematically impossible for the Yanks to make the play-offs.
"So what are you going to do about that partner of yours?" Henry opened the can of worms Jamie was avoiding. He wasn't staring Jamie down. He was trying to be nonchalant in order to give his youngest grandson a safe place to discuss his dilemma. Ever since dinner the other night with all the denials, innuendo and bravado, Henry knew there was something brewing in Jamie's head. Frank had been right. In another era, in another time, Jamie may have become a priest, but here and now he was a conflicted man.
"Nothing. She's my partner. Why do you ask?" Jamie replied. His tone had a defensive edge. Out of respect he wasn't as nasty as he had been toward Danny but there was sharpness not often found in his voice, especially not when he was addressing the family patriarch.
Henry ignore Jamie's protests. "Did I ever tell you about Colleen McGuire?"
"Oh no, not Colleen McGuire, the most beautiful woman who ever served in the NYPD," Danny joked walking into the room with a rocks glass and helping himself to three fingers from the bottle of Jameson on the table. He sat heavily in the chair and took a long pull letting, the tawny whisky burn down his throat.
"She was," Henry assured his other grandson, giving Danny a sharp look, daring him to disagree.
"Bad day?" Jamie asked putting down his cards and giving his full attention to his older brother. When Danny needed to blow off steam he came here rather than burdening Linda and the kids with his work related stressors. It was a Reagan family rule, before you found yourself on your third drink barricaded behind a door, you reached out for support.
"Maria's brother died," Danny began.
"I'm sorry," offered Henry.
"We were chasing those mooks from the DEA drug heist. Javi had been a DEA informant. He took a bullet for her. Saved her life," Danny explained.
Grimacing, all Jamie could do was agree, "Geeze."
"Is she alright?" Henry asked.
"She's not physically injured. I just came from taking her to her mother's house," Danny revealed, taking another long swallow of his drink.
"The notification is the hardest part," Jamie observed.
"Yeah," Danny changed the subject. "So why are we talking about the lovely Officer McGuire?" Not for nothing, Danny was a detective after all. He knew his baby brother had a thing for his pretty partner and no clue what to do about it.
Henry smiled. Irishman to the core, he was happy to be able to tell a story. "Colleen was my partner back in the day when I was a patrolman."
"They had women on the force, back then?" Jamie asked incredulously. He had assumed women in the ranks as anything other than meter maids and crossing guards was a relatively modern addition to the NYPD.
"Not many but she was one of the pioneers. They assigned her to me because I was one of the few at least willing to give her a chance," Henry shared. "She was a beauty: red hair, twinkling eyes, a nice figure too."
Danny's eyebrow quirked up. It wasn't often that Grandpa talked to them as a man, not just the head of the family.
Jamie urged his grandfather to continue the story. "So what happened?"
"Nothing. She married my best friend."
"Didn't he pass away last year?" Danny recalled.
Henry nodded sagely. "He did. Cancer."
"So?" Danny probed.
"So what?" gruffed Henry.
Rolling his hand in a get on with it motion, Danny repeated himself, "So?"
Henry was aghast. "She's in mourning."
Exasperated, Danny pointed out, "It's been what? A year? You're not getting any younger there, Gramps."
Scowling at Danny, Henry retorted, "You have no patience."
"That's it?" Jamie protested. "You thought she was beautiful and she married your friend. There has to be more to this story than that."
"There is," Henry assure him. "I was too scared to ask her out. He did ask and they got married. I lost my chance."
"But what about the regs?" Jamie pressed, getting closer to revealing the heart of his problem.
"They didn't have regulations about this kind of thing back then," Henry reminded him.
"Look, kid," Danny took up the discussion. "If the regs are the only things holding you back, request a new partner, then make your move."
"I can't," Jamie admitted.
"Whaddaya mean you can't. You just tell Renzulli you want a new partner. Wham bam. He transfers you and then you're free and clear."
"It's not that simple."
"Yes, it is," Danny insisted.
"No. Sarge gave me that option and I told him that there was nothing going on and that I wanted to be her partner," Jamie confessed.
"So you un-tell him. Tell him you changed your mind."
"She is a pretty little thing," Henry observed with a proud smile at Jamie who scowled in response.
"I can't. I gotta be there to protect her," Jamie asserted.
"She a New York City cop," Danny corrected. "She can take care of herself. If you don't think she can, she has no business being on the street. You need a partner who has your back."
"She has my back!" Jamie declared. "I just . . . I . . . I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to her."
"It's the job," Henry reminded him.
"You got it bad," Danny observed drolly.
"Bad things happen all the time, whether you're a cop or not. Any woman you marry is going to have deal with the fact that on any given day when you go off to work you might not be coming home. At least with her, she'll understand. You have to accept that what you do is dangerous." Henry philosophized. "That doesn't mean you won't come home, God willing, but even if you were a lawyer there are risks."
"Paper cuts, hurting your back from picking up a brief case full of money," Danny teased.
Unfazed by the sibling rivalry, Henry continued, "Because you know the risks and you know she's capable, you should be able to trust that she can take care of herself."
"Look at all the shit that happened to my partners and I was right there. Jackie ended up handcuffed to a bomb. I got Baez hit by a truck the other day. Her brother saved her life, not me," Danny reminded Jamie.
"How do you do it?" Jamie asked. "Jackie was a beautiful woman and Baez ain't exactly hard on the eyes. You work around them all day and you're never tempted?"
"I'm a happily married man," Danny replied as if he were reciting a mantra.
"And if you weren't?" Jamie probed.
Danny wasn't going down that lawyer road of hypotheticals, of testing the boundaries to see where the lines are drawn. "But I am."
"I don't know," Henry interjected. "That Jackie was a fine looking woman. If I were a few years younger. . . "
Both Jamie and Danny were momentarily astonished into silence.
"Grandpa!" Jamie admonished lightheartedly, feigning disapproval.
"Seriously, what's the problem?" Danny inquired. "I've seen the way she looks at you. You can't be worried she's gonna turn you down?"
"No," Jamie scrubbed his hands over his face. He was so confused. "I just . . ."
"Hey isn't her wet down tonight?" Danny remembered
"I knew there was someplace you should have been besides here," Henry scolded.
"How'd you know?" Jamie wanted to know.
Danny smirked. "I went over to McManus's first, looking for you."
Jamie couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanted to know more but his pride wouldn't let him ask. Fortunately, Danny wasn't that cruel.
"Janko seemed a little sad that wrong brother came to toast her," Danny supplied.
"You should get over there," Henry suggested.
"I couldn't. It's too late," Jamie lamented.
Shaking his head, Danny disagreed. "Nah. They were just warming up. They'll still be there."
"But what about . . .?" Jamie didn't get a chance to say work.
"Renzulli's there. He knows you're gonna change your mind?" Danny assured his kid brother.
"How?" Jamie sputtered.
Chuckling softly, "He's a Sargent and a smart guy. When you weren't there, he knew that you were avoiding her. Told me you were a stupid kid for picking partner over girlfriend in the first place."
Embarrassed but encouraged, Jamie rose from the table. His half full beer still sat relatively untouched. "Thanks."
"Go!" the older man admonished.
Raising his glass, Danny silently toasted his brother. "Slainté."
*~*~*~*~* BB *~*~*~*~*
Although the place was packed, Edie knew immediately when Jamie walked in. She was always a physically demonstrative person but her inhibitions had been lowered by the drinks she'd consumed at her party. "You came!" she announced throwing herself into his arms.
As he embraced her, over her shoulder Jamie saw Sargent Renzulli smirking and nodding. The look on his face clearly said he knew Jamie had changed his mind.
"How could I let my. . .you down?" Jamie assured her.
"You need a beer!" Edie declared moving out of his arms to get him some liquid refreshment.
Knowing it would take a few minutes for even the guest of honor to get a bartender's attention, Jamie walked over to his boss.
"I changed my mind. I want a new partner," he announced.
"Ya think?" Renzulli retorted with a smirk.
Looking bashful, Jamie didn't have to verbalize the aw shucks, Sarge gimme a break, that was written on his face.
The seasoned veteran took pity on him. "I figured you had to have learned something with all that Harvard education."
"Sarge?"
Clapping him on the back, Renzulli reminded him, "Never let a good thing go, kid. And she's a good thing, Reagan. Don't you forget it."
Smiling, happily, Jamie assured him, "Thanks. I won't." Turning around Jamie disappeared into the crowd in search of Edie and his beer.
It was still a weeknight so by nine the party had wound down. There were only a few bar regulars and some diehards left. A slow song came on the jukebox and Edie pulled Jamie into an open space. "Dance with me," she decreed reaching up to drape her arms over Jamie's shoulders. He rested his hands on her hips but kept enough tension in his forearms to maintain a respectable distance between their bodies. For Jamie's comfort there were still too many prying eyes in the bar for him to allow their bodies to become flush against one another. Together they swayed to the beat. Like always, they were perfectly in tune and would have been even without the music. Jamie varied his gaze from Edie's face to a point on the wall behind her head. He was not going to allow himself to get lost in her eyes, no matter how distracting her perfume was. This was not the time nor the place for that. For her part, Edie simply beamed up at her handsome partner. It would have been so easy to simply tilt his head down and allow their lips to connect. He wouldn't give in. This bar was not the place he wanted to officially begin their relationship.
When the song ended, the pair parted reluctantly. Jamie walked over to the bar and got two pint glasses of ice water. Even though neither of them would be driving, it was prudent for them to have their wits about them when leaving the bar. Plus, hydration was always important when you had been drinking; it helped to prevent hangovers.
By the time they finished their waters, most of which were consumed gazing over the rims of the glasses at each other, the other police officers present had moved on. Edie had started to run out of steam. She had been so excited about the end of her probationary period, that she'd been pumped on adrenaline. Now that the evening was winding down, her energy was fading.
"C'mon," Jamie said extending his arm out perpendicular to Edie. "Let's get you home."
As expected, she moved to his side and wrapped her arm around his waist as his settled across her shoulders. They fit together perfectly, as though they had been designed as puzzle pieces.
Once they reached the main avenue, Jamie hailed a cab without letting go of Edie. She had to let go to climb into the yellow sedan. Sliding in beside her, Jamie gave the taxi Edie's address.
"Inviting yourself over, Reagan?"
"Getting you home safely," he countered, somewhat disconcerted that she might not want him to come to her house.
"I see," she replied, dropping her head to lean on his shoulder for the duration of the ride. Not having any place else to put in in the cramped back seat, Jamie rested his hand on Edie's lower thigh.
The cabbie let them off in front of Edie's building. She waited for Jamie on the sidewalk while he paid and tipped the driver.
They stood there under the street lights, not saying anything but looking at each other. They were very close, so close that they could practically feel each other's hearts beating.
Edie blinked a few times and stared innocently at her partner. "Déjà vu." He wide eyes were quite seductive.
Jamie took a small step forward and cupped Edie's cheek. A soft breeze was fluttering a few strands of her long blonde hair and billowing the gauzy white blouse. "I never answered you this afternoon when you asked me what you look like now."
"No you didn't," she agreed reaching to rub her hand up his pec before resting it on his shoulder. She was grateful for the additional stability.
"You look like a beautiful, desirable woman. One who I am having increasing trouble keeping my hands off."
"Who asked you to?" Edie quipped as she craned her neck toward him.
Jamie didn't need more of an invitation. He moved to capture her lips with his. This was not the soft, hesitant kiss they shared a few months early. This was hungry and demanding. As they opened to each other, Jamie speared his hands through Edie's golden locks to hold her head at precisely the angle he wanted. Both of her hands were around his neck. His other hand moved from her hip, around her back to slide under the flowing top enabling him to caress the bare skin of her low back. They were both moaning softly. Even the unseasonably hot Indian summer night was cool in comparison to the passion ignited between them.
When the kiss broke after several delicious minutes, Edie swallowed hard but didn't dislodge her hands from around Jamie's neck before asking, "You're not going to run away again and tell me we have gotten this out of our system, are you?"
"I don't think I'm ever going to get you out of my system," Jamie revealed.
Pleased but startled by that declaration, Edie just smiled.
"But we do have to talk," Jamie grew somber.
Concerned, Edie resigned herself to whatever Jamie had to say. She was sure she wasn't going to like it, but she knew better then to try to dissuade him from saying his piece. "Okay but can we do it upstairs in the air conditioning?"
Smiling suggestively Jamie inquired, "Why Miss Janko, are you inviting me in for a night cap?"
"Sure," Edie said, starting up the stairs of the brownstone. Jamie was right behind her. As she fumbled with the keys, he rested one hand on a hip and moved some of her hair to nibble on the crook of her neck. He was pleased when he felt her shiver and fumble with the keys despite the heat.
Jamie had never been inside Edie's apartment before. It was a mass of contrasts like the woman herself. Modern furniture with antique accents. Rich colors and vibrant paintings.
Once they entered, Edie made a bee-line for the kitchen just inside the door, while steering Jamie toward the living room. "Make yourself comfortable. Excuse the mess. I'm not exactly the best housekeeper."
Jamie sat on the middle of the moleskin couch.
From the kitchen a few feet away, Edie continued to prattle on. "Do you want a beer? Coffee? Water?"
"Beer's fine. Whatever you have," Jamie replied.
Emerging from the kitchen with two open bottles of beer, Edie handed one to Jamie but moved to in the chair beside the couch rather than next to him. She wanted some space between them as she listened to what she assumed was going to be his explanation about why they couldn't date.
He patted the couch. "C'mere."
She eyed him cautiously but complied, taking a big slug from her beer as she sat.
"There are going to be some changes at work effective tomorrow," he began.
"What kind of changes?" she asked warily.
"We're not going to riding together anymore," Jamie confessed.
"I'm not even a full-fledged cop one day and you're dumping me on our anniversary, no less," Edie whined.
Taking her hand in both of his Jamie implored, "It's not like that."
"What's it like then. Explain it to me."
"I had to make a choice. I could have you as my partner . . ." he took a deep breath and forged ahead. "Or. . . or as my girlfriend but not both. And since I can't seem to stop kissing you or thinking about kissing you. . . . "
Edie's ears were buzzing. She was stuck on the word "girlfriend."
"I tried to pick partner. I really did. That's why I didn't originally come tonight. I was trying to stay away but I couldn't."
Edie couldn't resist, "Who says I want to be your girlfriend, Reagan?"
Jamie hadn't even considered that possibility. Even Danny had assured him that she liked him. "What?" he yelped. "But you . . . but we. I thought. . . ."
Edie chuckled. "Where's that articulate Harvard lawyer I know and love?" she teased. "A girl wants to be asked."
At that point Jamie realized that she was pulling his leg. He lunged for her, pressing his body to hers and propelling her backwards pinning her against the couch. She gave as good as she got and somehow them maneuvered themselves into a horizontal position for an intense make out session.
Having seen him in nothing but his boxers earlier in the day, Edie was thrilled to be able to manually explore Jamie's torso – the lithe back muscles, the hard nipples poking through the light material of his form fitting black t-shirt. She couldn't wait to get it off and get to the real thing. She was quite pleased with the pressure she was feeling at her core from the bulge behind the zipper of his khakis. Tugging the fabric out of his trousers as he ground down against her, Edie wormed her hands up the hot skin of Jamie's back, endeavoring to get the shirt completely off of him. He wasn't cooperating with her efforts.
Out of frustration, Edie broke the kiss to offer, "I do have a perfectly good bed just a few feet away." She attempted to sit up, in anticipation of relocating this party.
Jamie wasn't moving although if she really pressed the issue she knew she could extricate him. Brushing her hair from her face, he praised. "You are so beautiful."
Edie blued at the compliment. "Right back atcha there buddy."
Jamie kissed her softly but still didn't move off her. His breathing was returning to normal.
"C'mon," she urged. "I'm too old for couch sex."
"We're not having couch sex," Jamie agreed sitting up.
He sat up and Edie stood, intending to walk to her bedroom. She held out her hand but he didn't take it or rise from the couch.
"No," Jamie shook his head. "You were right. A lady deserves to be asked. So . . . . Saturday. I checked the schedule. We're working days. Edie Janko would you please do be the honor of allowing me to take you to dinner on a proper date – getting dressed up and everything on Saturday night? I'll pick you up at seven."
Edie knew he was serious. It was so corny but it was so Jamie. She blinked to forestall the tears of happiness she knew were threatening to fall; she was not going to be the sappy girl. Despite what she considered at least several months of foreplay and quasi-dating, he would ask her out on a "proper" date. He certainly was a far cry from any of the jerks she had dated in the past. If she offered them sex, her clothes would have been off before they'd even gotten comfortable on the couch. She knew what he needed to hear. "It would be my pleasure, Jamie."
Jamie beamed as he rose from the couch. "On that note, I'm gonna go before I forget my manners and take this further than I should right now."
Since there was nothing to say, Edie reached forward for another kiss.
After a few moments, Jamie broke away. "You're killing me here."
"Murder is a crime. Do you want to cuff me?" Edie dared him mischievously. They both knew all bets were off Saturday night.
"Let's stick to the conventional stuff before we branch out into kinky, shall we?"
"I don't know. If I cuffed you right now, then you'd have to stay," Edie reminded him.
Parts of Jamie were totally on board with that plan but his inner Eagle Scout knew he had to go now or he may never leave. Depositing a quick peck on the tip of her nose, Jamie promised "I'll see you in the morning."
Letting him win this round, Edie taunted, "Spoil sport."
They lingered at the door to her apartment, kissing and holding each other, reveling in this new found aspect of their changing relationship. When they finally parted Jamie practically skipped all the way home and for the first time in a long while Edie fell asleep quickly and peacefully dreaming about their date on Saturday.