Sunday, December 16, 2007
WHY DID YOU SPEND THE NIGHT WITH JACK NEESA?
I am very surprised Mirai did not offend anyone or get into a lot of trouble because of his ignorance. I am surprised no one took advantage of Mirai.
I like Mirai just fine. I think he could be too naïve at times. He did not seem prepared for his mission on Earth.
Kathy Smith found herself in this universe because of a seijin. This seijin promised to put Ultrawoman somewhere she would never be found. Another universe was as good a place as any to never be found.
Kathy Smith was Ultrawoman. Ultrawoman merged with Kathy Smith when she was fourteen back in 1975, during the old school era. Ultrawoman somehow outranked the old school guys, shin Ultraman, Ultra Seven, "new" Ultraman/Ultraman Jack, Ultraman Ace, Ultraman Taro, Ultraman Leo and his brother Astra.
Ultrawoman has two eras. The old school era set roughly three months after the end of ULTRAMAN LEO in the year 1975/76 and the post Ultraman No So Great era. Kathy heard reports Ultraman (Not So) Great was not doing his job and came to Australia to investigate. She expected to stay for a few days tops. Things quickly became more complicated. She has to work with the UMA Australia team, a bunch of dumb gaijins.
Before Kathy came to Australia, Kathy went on Japanese television and blabbed her secret. As a result, she can't go out in public in Japan without being mobbed.
Ultrawoman never came to Earth in this universe. No one knows who Ultrawoman/Kathy Smith is in this universe. Kathy can walk the streets of any Japanese city unmolested.
In this universe, there were NO monster attacks anywhere on Earth since the end of ULTRAMAN80!!! Kathy thinks that is total bull crap, but that's another story. She thinks someone somewhere got their facts wrong. It was repeated frequently enough that people believed it.
Kathy Smith had spent a night with Hideki Goh. Kathy thought he was as handsome as ever though he never met her before and did not know her from a hole in the ground in this universe. Kathy began to cry when he told her this. A this point Goh-san canceled his plans for the rest of his day and spent it with Kathy.
They went for a romantic dinner and a drive to the beach. They spent the remainder of the night at a love hotel. Kathy felt like a fool for ever letting Goh-san slip through her fingers in her own universe! He definitely got better with age! Goh made it very plain he was very interested in seeing more of Kathy.
Earlier, Kathy promised to do something with Mirai that evening. Of course, she totally forgot after meeting Goh-san. Mirai has no clue as to why Kathy and Goh suddenly ignored him. He felt very left out when Goh told him to see a movie by himself.
Kathy was staying at the Phoenix Nest while they decide how to send Kathy back to her own universe. Mirai thought it very strange she was not in her room that night and did not return till the crack of dawn. It was very quiet outside. Mirai heard a car pull up to the building. The horn honked long and loud for some reason.
Mirai rolled out of bed groggily to see what the noise was about. He peaked through the blinds to see Kathy and Jack NEESA passionately kissing in Goh-san's open Jeep. Mirai watched in fascination as Kathy very reluctantly got out of the passenger seat. She went around to the driver's side and kissed Goh very briefly. Goh drove off. Kathy watched till he was out of sight. She turned to go into the building. Kathy did not notice her lipstick was all over her face. Mirai noticed she otherwise looked very happy.
Kathy headed to her room to freshen up for the day and perhaps catch a few more zzzz's till everyone else woke up. Kathy had no duties at GUYS other than a sort of unofficial consultant or to borrow from DOCTOR WHO, "Unpaid Scientific Advisor". Kathy rolled into bed for a couple of hours. It was almost noon before she woke up; and then she woke up because the floor just outside her room was being buffed/vacuumed/polished/whatever. She quickly dressed for the day and headed to the cafeteria for the most important meal of the day, lunch.
"Very early this morning, I saw Kathy pull up to the base in a Jeep with an older, distinguished gentleman driving!" Konomi said.
Mirai nodded very quickly. "I saw them too! They kissed very passionately. I wonder what they were doing last night!" Mirai honestly had absolutely no clue as to what a man and a woman who were kissing passionately in the morning would have done the previous evening.
His friends gave him very astounded looks at this.
"Bakayarou! What do you think they were doing?" Ryuu almost yelled at him.
"I do not know. I did not see what they did," Mirai replied innocently.
Konomi, Marina, Teppei, Georgie and Ryuu gave Mirai the funniest looks.
"What do you think they'd be doing?" Marina piped up.
"I do not know. I did not see where they went last night," Mirai insisted.
Once there, the GUYS Crew sat at their favorite table. Kathy headed over to them with her tray in her hands.
"Good morning/afternoon/whatever!" Kathy appeared to be in a very good mood. Kathy placed her tray down at the last place at the table.
The GUYS Crew suddenly became very quiet.
"What's wrong?" Kathy looked around at them.
"Nothing!" They shook their heads. "Nothing's wrong!"
"Uh, we were just leaving!" Teppei got up to leave.
"Did I say anything wrong?"
"No! No!" They quickly shook their heads.
Mirai spoke up. "Kathy, what were you and Goh-san doing last night? Why did you spend the night alone with Goh-san? You were gone since late yesterday afternoon till very early this morning. I saw you pull up in Goh-san's Jeep at the crack of dawn this morning. Konomi saw it as well. What were you doing alone with Goh-san during the night?" Mirai asked very pointedly. [Mirai honestly has no clue why Goh and Kathy would spend the night alone together. He does not know what a man and a woman who are very fond of each other would do alone during the night.
Konomi bowed quickly and left her half eaten meal behind. She was obviously very embarrassed for Mirai at this point. Kathy's face turned a very bright scarlet red.
"BAKAYAROU!!!" Kathy yelled at the top of her lungs. Kathy shot out of her chair so quickly it fell backward. She climbed over the table and grabbed Mirai by the collar of his jacket. She slugged Mirai as hard as she could. Blood gushed from his nose. "What do you think I would do alone with Goh-san?" she asked in a very low, angry growl.
Everyone in the cafeteria was staring at them now.
"Why do you care so much what I would do alone with Goh-san? How did it become any of your business??" Kathy continued in the same angry growl. "I am sick and tired of your rookie bullshit!!!" Tears began to stream out of Kathy's eyes. Kathy slugged him in the jaw for good measure. She was so angry this clown was being allowed to stay on Earth. At least Ultraman Not So Great had more tact! At least Ultraman Not So Great had a human host who knew better about most things!
Kathy felt the arms of several security guards pull her off Mirai. They pushed her backward. Kathy sat in the middle of the floor on her butt with her tight-fitting black skirt around her waist. Misaki joushi entered the room at that point.
"What happened here?" Misaki demanded.
"Misaki joushi!" Kathy straightened her skirt as she attempted to get up.
"What happened?" Misaki said in a softer voice.
"Mirai attempted to pry into my personal business. I needed to teach him a lesson!!!" Kathy stood as she straightened her skirt.
"What did Mirai say to you?
Mirai's friends helped Mirai to his feet. Kathy and Misaki barely noticed.
"I would prefer not to discuss it in public."
"We can talk outside." Misaki led Kathy out of the cafeteria.
They were standing on that balcony where Sakomizu and Teppei were talking in episode 37. Misaki turned to Kathy Smith. "All right, what is going on between you and Mirai?"
"Mirai just asked me a whole bunch of questions about my private life!" Kathy shouted angrily.
"What did he ask?"
"He asked me why I spent time alone with a certain gentleman last night. He kept demanding to know what I did alone with this gentleman. He and Konomi saw me return with this gentleman early this morning. He asked why I spent the entire night out with him."
"I see. . ." Misaki said slowly. "Is he someone special to you?"
"Hai! I was very 'fond' of him in my universe. We never did anything in my universe." Kathy could barely speak at this point. She turned away. Kathy began to sob loudly. "I feel like a bigger idiot than Mirai!!"
Misaki put her arm around Kathy's shoulders. Kathy sobbed in Misaki's arms.
"I am sorry to hear this." Misaki continued to let Kathy sob in her arms. "Someone obviously needs to speak with Mirai about this. I'll have Sakomizu taicho speak with him."
"Arigato!" Kathy said weakly.
"This may not be the appropriate time to ask this." Misaki handed Kathy a handkerchief. "Here, wipe your eyes."
Kathy wiped her eyes and blew her nose very loudly. She handed the handkerchief back to Misaki.
"Uh, you can keep it for now." Misaki pushed it back toward her. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something. I realize now may not be the appropriate time."
Kathy wiped running makeup from her eyes. "Go ahead. We can discuss it now."
"Sakomizu taicho recently told me Serizawa paid him a visit and informed him he believed Ultrawoman to be someone of importance on M-78. Serizawa implied GUYS should watch their step around you." Misaki paused to watch Smith-san's reaction to this. Kathy remained calm. She continued wiping makeup from her eyes. "Your father spoke briefly with Sakomizu while he was here."
"He wasn't supposed to be here!"
Misaki waved Kathy silent. "When Sakomizu asked what you did in your universe, your father answered he understood you were a 'UMA commander'. Sakomizu seemed to think your father answered a little too quickly. Your father also mentioned you weren't happy with how much he knew about you. He doesn't know what's okay to tell people about you anymore. It left Sakomizu with the feeling there was something your father was not saying about you."
Kathy's face remained impassive.
"Captain Isana of GUYS Ocean contacted Sakomizu. He told them of the accounts on your web site of your mission in Australia. You were in Australia when you found yourself in our universe. He told Sakomizu most of the accounts of your mission in Australia were taken down from your web site recently. Isana saved them before that. He believed you considered them to be sensitive material.
"I read them. They account how you came to Australia because you heard reports Ultraman wasn't doing his job. It details how you sent someone ahead of you to tell the UMA team there was more than one Ultraman and how Ultraman wasn't very well known in Australia." Misaki paused.
Kathy knew where this was going. She turned away to leave.
"Chotto made! I have not finished! You sent your aide ahead of you to prepare them for the appearance of other Ultras. You sent your aide ahead of you to inform them the Ultraman they saw was not unique or alone in the universe. Your aide informed them you were not happy with the UMA Australia team and thought they were 'dumb gaijins'."
"That is correct," Kathy said with a hint of caution in her voice. "Their attitude sucked lemons. It sucked balls! It sucked donkey dicks! It was just a daytime job as far as they were concerned. What more do you want to know about them?"
Misaki was taken aback. She was shocked by what Kathy just said. Smith-san certainly spoke her mind! "Their captain, Arthur Grant, wanted Ultraman destroyed when he first appeared!"
Misaki seemed a little shocked by that. "These accounts also claim you were very recently appointed captain of the Space Garrison."
Kathy maintained her poker face. She decided to play dumb gaijin. "'Space Garrison'? What's that? Is that another outfit like GUYS?"
"Not exactly. I understand this means you are Ultraman's boss." Misaki may realize Kathy was playing dumb here. Before Kathy could say anything, "You don't have to deceive me, Kathy. I know you are Ultraman's boss from Isana and the accounts on your web site."
"I thought the more recent stories contained sensitive information," was all Kathy would say.
"Is this why you are less than happy with Mirai?"
"He's a horny old man in training! He's going to be like Dan some day!"
"Nani? A horny old man?"
"Yeah, he's gonna be like Dan!"
Misaki gave Kathy the funniest look.
"Dan Moroboshi was a fat, horny old man! He would grope me whenever he got the chance. He was not supposed to be on Earth."
"You are talking about Dan Moroboshi of Ultra Seven fame?"
"That's the one! He was supposed to go home once his leg was healed and he was able to transform again. I sort of didn't say anything because he did provide invaluable intelligence for me. I think I told Okasan that when she found out he was groping me."
"Okasan?"
"Hai! Ultra Mom! She was not happy when she found out Dan/Ultra Seven was touching Kathy Smith/Ultrawoman inappropriately. I was charged with seeing to it that Dan/Ultra Seven left Earth once and for all. I told her Dan provided me with intelligence. She made it very clear Dan/Seven had no business touching me. She did not seem interested when I told her I felt Dan's intelligence was invaluable."
Misaki seemed taken aback by this. "I see. What did you do next?"
"I kicked Dan in the nuts the next time I saw him and told him to leave Earth. He wasn't happy. He didn't believe I was actually kicking him off Earth! I asked him if he was ready for a repeat if he didn't go peacefully. Ultra Mom's voice came from the sky reiterating he was to return to M-78. He left peacefully after that. If I did see him again, he kept his hands to himself and was a perfect gentleman."
Misaki didn't quite know what to say at this point. "What does the above have to do with Mirai?"
"Mirai asked a lot of questions about my private business! He wanted details on what I did alone with my gentleman friend! What a pervert!"
"I suspect Mirai simply does not know any better. He does not know he is not supposed to ask those kind of questions," Misaki said.
"Uh, hai!" Kathy seemed confused at this point. "I know I'm not supposed to ask those kinds of questions! I am sure Dan knew better about such things! He didn't act like a complete moron all the time! Dan wasn't easily amused by everything! He acted normal!
"Dan was knowing enough about the world to be a horny old man! He knew enough to have some clue as to what to do with girls! I am certain he knew what he was doing was wrong. When I finally did tell him to go home he bowed deeply and apologized. He was truly sorry he ever touched me. Does Mirai know what to do with girls???"
"I never thought of it," Misaki replied.
"It occurred to me. I don't think anyone back home knows me from a hole in the ground in this universe."
"Back home?"
"M-78. I don't think I'd have the authority to send Mirai home, but you do!"
Misaki looked at Kathy for an explanation. "I do???"
"Yeah, you do. If Ultraman is no longer welcome on Earth, he is supposed to leave if asked to. You can ask him to leave. If I ask him to leave, I don't want Mebius telling someone like Ultra Father or Zoffy that I'm Ultrawoman. I don't THINK I have authority to send him home in this universe. From what I can tell, I don't legally exist in this universe. However, someone from Earth can ask him to leave. That's you."
Misaki looked uncertain about this.
"All you have to do is ask him to leave Earth. Tell him he's not fitting in and Mebius is a complete fool and a rookie. Mebius is no longer wanted on Earth. Mebius is causing more problems than he's solving. Mebius is simply not ready for his mission. He has a blue guy finishing his battles for him!"
"I see. So you would send him home if you could?"
"Hai! What did you think? Mebius was not at all prepared for his mission. He hardly knows squat about Earth! He doesn't know when to stop asking what I did with a gentleman! What's his problem???"
"His 'problem' is he truly does not know a lot of things about Earth. He has not been here very long."
"Dan seemed to know things about Earth. He didn't seem easily fascinated by everything. I KNOW he would not ask all sorts of questions about my gentleman friends! Mirai is a complete and total reeeeeetard!!!"
This was not convincing Misaki to ask Mebius/Mirai to leave Earth. Kathy knew Misaki would not do as she asked unless Mebius/Mirai really screwed up big time.
"Kathy-san, I have a question. You speak of when you first came to Japan in the old days. Where did you originally come from?"
"California."
"California? You don't expect me to believe that, do you?"
Kathy laughed. "Yes, I do. I originally came from California. And my father is a tall white guy who has been prying into my business since then! What did you think?"
"All right. What was it like when you first came to Japan? Did you speak any Japanese?"
"Of course I did! I spoke Japanese the minute I got off the plane! What did you think??? Of course I spoke fluent Japanese!"
"You spoke Japanese the minute you got off the plane???" Misaki sounded incredulous at this.
"Hai! I spoke Japanese from the minute I first set foot in Japan. Why wouldn't I?"
"How did you learn to speak Japanese?"
"I just knew how! You have a problem with that?"
"Eie!" Misaki looked down uncomfortably. "You expect me to believe you just spoke fluent Japanese the minute you arrived in Japan?"
"Hai!"
"You are probably going to tell me you knew how things were done in Japan as well."
"Pretty much. Ultrawoman let me make my own mistakes. She would take over if she thought I was going to do something very stupid or foolish or qualify for a Darwin Award."
"I'm confused. You just told me Ultrawoman would let you make your own mistakes and would intervene only if you were going to do something very foolish."
"What are you confused about?"
"You speak of Ultrawoman in third person at times. You say you are Ultrawoman in first person at others. What are you talking about? Isn't Kathy Smith a human form you created in order to stay on Earth?"
It was Kathy's turn to look confused. "Uh, eie!" Kathy was about to get mad and stomp away.
"I'm not trying to offend you, Kathy. I honestly don't know these things. I am just guessing here. How did you become Ultrawoman?"
"That's easy! I was having the crap beaten out of me by two other girls. Ultrawoman happened by. She knew I wanted to fight but did not know how. I suddenly sprang up and did all sorts of totally cool martial arts stuff! Those bitches ran scared!"
"You are saying Ultrawoman merged with you?"
"Hai! What did you think? It's as plain as day! By the way, Mirai has a problem with white people!"
"He does?"
"Yeah! He asked me why I look white! He told me I didn't belong in Japan because there aren't that many white people here!!!! It didn't make sense that I would take the form of a white woman."
"I'll have to talk to him! I am truly sorry for all the trouble Mirai is causing you. I didn't realize he was causing this much trouble!"
"Domo arigato!" Kathy bowed deeply.
As far as Kathy Smith is concerned, Mirai offended the wrong person, her. Kathy Smith/Ultrawoman would be his senior by several orders of magnitude, regardless of what universe they were in. Kathy/Ultrawoman would be Mirai's senior even in the old days!
Mirai/Mebius just did not seem at all prepared for his mission as far as Kathy was concerned. Mebius would be the very LAST person Kathy/Ultrawoman would have sent to Earth!