DISCLAIMER: I don't own POTC or Fergie. No pirates were harmed in the writing of this chapter, although some ears did bleed; you have been forewarned. If you didn't read Teens of the Caribbean: Two Girls and Insanity you may want to backtrack and do so

Elizabeth sat in the rain, tears falling down her face and mingling with the rain. Abigail stood beside her loudly singing, "Rain, rain, go away! Come again another day!"

Suddenly, a group of soldiers came, escorting Will in chains. "Will!" Elizabeth cried.

"Willy-kins!"

"Why is this happening?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't know. You look beautiful."

"That is soooo cheesy!" Abigail said. "Come on, Willy-kins!"

"It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

"Is ANYONE listening to me!?!?" Abigail asked, making a gagging noise.

"I'm sorry, Abigail," Elizabeth said.

"I'm not," Will replied.

Then, Abigail kicked him in a very personal area. Will emitted a loud girly-sounding yelp. "Hm…I guess he's not a eunuch," Abigail said, as Will began to cry.

"Governor Weatherby Swann, it's been too long," Lord Beckett began.

Suddenly, Abigail burst out laughing. "Weatherby? What kind of name is that?"

Lord Beckett raised an eyebrow. "Miss Abigail?"

"Yes?"

"You are under arrest along with Master Turner and Miss Swann."

"WHAT?!?!" everyone present gasped.

"On what charges?" Elizabeth asked.

"I am also here to arrest James Norrington and a certain lass by the name of Miss Lady Rose of Hotness."

"Oh! So you remember she is the queen of Hotness, but you don't remember I'm Queen of Tennessee?"

"Well…you're under arrest."

"Under the category of questions not answered-"

"CENSORED!" Abigail screamed.

"I wasn't going to curse," Will said.

"Perhaps, you remember a certain pirate by the name of Jack Sparrow?"

"CAPTAIN!"

"Captain Jack Sparrow, yes, I thought you might."

"ROSE!!!!!" Abigail screamed. "SAVE ME!"

"There is no way she's going to hear you," Will pointed out.

"ROSE, SAVE ME! I HAVE CHO-CO-LATE!"

ILOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

"Sorry, mate," Jack Sparrow said, pulling of a skeleton's leg to use as an oar.

"Did you say something about chocolate?" Rose asked.

Jack shook his head. "No."

The two stepped aboard the Black Pearl, and Jack unfolded a scrap of parchment showing a sketch of a key. "Hey! That's like mine!" Rose said, revealing a key.

"How did you get that?" Jack gasped.

"Oh, it's fake. I got it on eBay."

"eBay?' the pirates asked.

"Oh, yeah. It's a treasure trove of stuff."

Gibbs nodded slowly. A pirate beside him muttered, "Maybe we should let the girl take us to this 'ebay'."

"No!" Rose said. "It's eBay!"

"That's what I said!"

"No. eBay has an uppercase b!"

"Um….alright?" the pirate said hesitantly.

"Well, mates, set sails!" Jack said. "We're going to find the chest that this key unlocks!"

ILOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

"The East India Trading Company has need of your services. We wish you to act as our agent in a business transaction with our mutual friend: Captain Sparrow."

Lord Beckett poured wine for Will and Abigail. Abigail took the cup and screamed, "OMG! You're giving alcohol to minors! You didn't check Will's i.d. either! Will, how old are you?"

"Um…almost twenty-one."

"ALMOST! YOU GAVE LIQUOR TO TWO MINORS!"

HI, THIS IS YOUR CONSCIENCE SPEAKING. GIVING ALCOHOL TO MINORS IS BAD, BAD, BAD!!!! SO DON'T DO IT! WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR PARODY PLEASURES. THANK YOU. MAKE GOOD CHOICES!

Lord Beckett rolled his eyes. "Shut-up, Child."

"You –some vile words that must not be listed here."

Will's eyes bugged out as he listened to Abigail make a stream of curses that rivaled that of any pirate in the world. Lord Beckett simply looked dumbfounded. "Um…that was interesting," Will said.

"I'm Irish," Abigail said grinning. "And I'm campaigning for Mary Sues' rights!"

"Amen, sister!"

"Who was that?" Will asked. "PLEASE tell me it isn't one of your friends!"

A girl appeared, blinking in surprise. "Hm…I wished I could be here, and it happened…weird. I'm Lynxshade."

"OMG! You read Abigail's story!"

Lord Beckett growled. "I do NOT get paid enough for this!"

Abigail grinned mischievously. "I know what will cheer you up! A song! Lynxshade, let's do a duet!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Will screeched, ducking under a desk and trying to sink his head lower while he sucked his thumb.

"What just-"

If you ain't got no rum sail your sober self home
You say: If you ain't got no rum sail your broke self home
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

We sailing the first class
Over the sea
Poppin' some rum
Livin' the life
In the fast waves
And I wont change
By the Glamorous, piracy, piracy!

The pirate way,
The pirate way, Willy-licious!
By the Glamorous, piracy, piracy!

Wear them gold and diamonds rings
All them things don't mean a thing
Cabin boys and pretty jewels
Stealing some expensive things
I be on the wanted posters
Warrants and history books
I'm not clean, I'm not pristine
I'm no queen, I'm no machine
I still go to old Tortuga
Sail through, mad as can be
I don't care, I'm still real
No matter how much money I steal
After the day or on the deck
I like to go cool out with the pirates
Sippin', reminiscing on days when I had a big ship
And now I'm in...

"Your turn lynxshade!' Abigail yelled.

"Okay!"

I'm talking rum-filled wishes, sailing dreams
You deserve nothing but all the finer things
Now this whole sea has no clue what to do with us
I've got enough rum on the ship for the two of us
Plus I gotta keep enough treasure
To support the piracy cause
Lifestyles so rich and famous
Even Blackbeard will get jealous
Half a million for the ships
Taking trips from here to Port
So If you ain't got no rum sail your sober self home
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

I got problems up to here
I've got people in my ear
Fightin' over these crazy things
That I don't want to know
I've got rum on the ship
And I'd really like to thank
All the pirates, I'd like to thank
Thank you really though
Cause I remember yesterday
When I dreamt about the days
When I'd sail on the sea, that be really sweet
Oh, It's been a long voyage
And the pirate world is cold
I'm glad my Jackie told me so, he let his daughter know.

Lynxshade and Abigail high-fived. "Oh yeah! We rock!" Abigail said.

Will lay whimpering on the floor, and Becket dropped in a dead faint. Suddenly, bright light surrounded Lynxshade, and she vanished.

ILOVEJACKILOVEJACKILOVEJACK

"Fergie, what's wrong?"

The number one singing artist screamed in pain. "THAT WAILING! THAT TERRIBLE WAILING!!!!!!!"

Thanks guys! I hope you like the sequal. It isn't at it's funniest yet...that comes later. If anyone has any suggestions or wants to gueststar leave a reveiw saying so! Thanks!