Disclaimer: I'm only J.K. in my dreams. I own nothing but the plot. Which, is in part, J.K.s. Oh well.
AN: This story seem ridiculous, but I'd love to know what you think about it.
"And I was just standing there, shocked. I mean, how could Professor Merrythought ever been so easily duped? She's supposed to be a professor, for Merlin's sake, and there she is, telling me that the book she bought was an original signed in 1687 by the notorious vampire-slayer Shwelryn Sarmichel, when everyone and anyone who's passed basic level History of Magic knows that Shwelryn Sarmichel died in the year 1592 after being tortured into insanity by a couple of vampire-sympathizers. Anyway, Merrythought was duped alright, and I showed her too. The title page of the book detailed that it had been published by Sparkling Scribbles, which is most obviously a publishing house that hadn't even been established until the 18th century! Lily? Lily, are you even listening to me?"
I hadn't been, really. The stream of words that had flown quite relentlessly from the mouth of the Hufflepuff prefrect, Kenneth Macmillan, a sort of pompous, yet well-meaning fellow who never knew how incredibly boring he actually was, had, frankly, bored me to tears.
"Sorry, Kenneth. I guess I must be worried about that Transfiguration exam, that's all."
He stopped, dead in his tracks. A flicker of hope crossed my mind -- had he forgotten the Transfiguration exam?
"Umm I've got to go." Kenneth said. He wasn't even embarrassed at how obvious it was that he had forgotten to study. McGonogall had told us about the exam last week!
"No problem. I'll finish the rest of the patrol."
"Thanks, Lily. You're amazing." His face twisted into an expression that was more like a half grin, half grimace than an actual smile. He swooped in and kissed me on the cheek, then practically ran down the corridor. What is it with boys always kissing me on the cheek these days?
I continued on my route, taking slower steps and finding that I quite enjoyed this unexpected solitude. I was in the middle of mentally reviewing my Transfiguration terms when I first heard it.
A moan. A very manly one, too. I blushed, half out of indecency at the little thrill the moan had sent up my spine, and half at the thought of whatever was happening to make that boy moan in that way.
Then the real shock hit. Another manly moan, but this one obviously came from the mouth of a different person. The first voice had been low, throaty, yet vicious, while the second moan had been strained yet obviously a man's voice.
I froze. What I was I supposed to do? Lily Evans, the rule-abider, prefect extroardinaire. It was my honor-bound duty to expose these two and berate them for being out at night, engaging in dissolute behavior, no less. But what if I found something I didn't really care to see? Everyone had heard those rumors, and Bertha Jorkins, though I'm not sure that I trust anything she says, confirmed it; there was some Slytherin boy yanking off with a Ravenclaw boy a year older than him. She said she saw them with her own eyes, behind the Herbology greenhouses of all places, and that she never saw their faces, only the house scarves which they wore, laying quite innocently on the leafy ground. I remember one of those homophobic people, possibly Peter Pettigrew, saying "Surprised they weren't using the scarves to gag each other and .. " I had blocked out the rest of what he said, sickened by someone who could hold such prejudices.
I decided in an instant. I didn't care what they were doing, I was going to punish them. I knocked on the door -- it led to a broom closet, one that I had never seen before -- and waited for a reply. To my horror, the inhabitants hadn't heard my knock. I did it again, louder. Furiously, I wiggled the door knob, hoping they would hear me. They didn't. The moans continued, louder now, not just because I had came closer and could hear them better, but because whatever they were doing they were obviously reaching their climax. I blushed terribly, hoping that those inside would take it for embarrassment, not arousal, as it actually was. I jiggled the knob a couple more times, and finally remembered I was witch. I was fairly sure that the climax, or whatever it was, was over now; the only sounds I heard were labored breathing and melodic murmurings of an indistinguishable name. Deciding it would be safe to venture in, I unlocked the door with a quick 'alohamora' and closed my eyes, bracing myself for what was to come.
When I opened them, I couldn't believe what I saw. The two boys were not, in fact, a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin, but two very handsome Gryffindors, completely naked. Remus Lupin looked at me from behind fearful eyes; later I would know that it was not because he cared about the compromising situation he was in with Sirius, but because he was afraid that I would reprimand him, as a prefect, being out of dorms after hours. Sirius Black, behind grey, stormy eyes, looked at me in his usual haughty manner, one I'd formerly associated with his hatred for muggle-borns, but that I now knew, courtesy of James Potter, was the look he leveled on all who he considered to have potential.
There was a certain beauty about it, I guess. Stumbling into a broom closet to find two beautiful boys making love to each other. One handsome as you can imagine; dark hair, silver eyes, a body that looked more like a sculpture's than a human's; and one equally beautiful; blondish hair, piercing, intellectual eyes, with scars (some little, some big) that covered him from head to toe. He was lying on the floor, devoid of everything except an obvious lust for the man on top of him, who was propped up on his two hands, looking at me boredly.
"You're out after hours," I said, in my harshest tone. Whatever Black expected, it certainly wasn't that. Shock and surprise flitted across his features -- eyes widening, mouth opening slightly -- before he was back to his normal self. That's not true, though. From that moment on, he treated me differently. He didn't sneer, didn't appreciatively rake his eyes over my body, but he looked at me like I was a human being.
Remus finally broke the silence. "I suppose we forgot to cast the silencing charm, then."
"Ten points from Gryffindor each." To tell the truth, it was the most minimal sentence I had given yet that year. Remus knew, I think, as his eyebrows shot up like this, but Sirius continued to regard me as if I was an entirely different person.
I couldn't help myself. At that moment, I felt like I wielded so much power. So I smiled.
"Don't get caught again."
I turned my back, and returned to the Gryffindor tower, trying to figure out what this all meant.