The brisk October wind danced through the colorful autumn trees, yellow, orange and red leaves whirling through the air. They twirled between the trees like confetti, decorating the grass. It was cold, and the overcast sky was providing just enough light for the young writer, well, he wishes he could have been a writer.
With a pen in hand, the young man was sitting on wooden bench within the hospital courtyard. A few autumn flowers remained alive through the quickly changing seasons, inspiring the writer immensely. It couldn't be helped.
He shivered from the wind even though he was wearing a leather jacket over his scrubs. Yes, he works at a hospital. A male nurse to be precise. A nurse is typically a female; males are usually discouraged by the stereotype of a nursing position being just for women. He didn't think much of it, no one ever made fun of him for being a nurse instead of a doctor. Both were equally important, right?
His hand moved swiftly across the lined paper. He had always had a gift for seeing the world for what it really is; disappointing, but so amazing. He chose to make the best out of life. Though his dream was to be a writer, his father, the Chief of Surgery at the hospital he currently works for, had pleaded for him to go to medical school. He didn't want to spend another eight years in school just to become a doctor and have it consume his life. If anything were to ever consume him, it would have to be the hands of writing. Instead, he chose to go to nursing school to please his father. He grew to really enjoy his career choice; helping others while still pleasing his father. He wasn't a doctor, yet, but his father was at least grateful that his son was in the field of medicine. Perhaps one day he could be convinced to become a skilled doctor. For now, nursing would have to suffice.
"Now what are you writing, Derek?"
The writer looked up from his poem, now complete, and smiled at the middle-aged woman. "Hello, Ellis. I would say that it's wonderful to see you again, but definitely not here." His tone was a little sullen, but he had to remain bright for her sake.
"Derek," her voice dragged, "I''m just here for a checkup. After they removed that lump in my breast, I've been trying to be a little more optimistic."
Ellis has breast cancer. It has no remorse and no definite cure; only chemo-therapy, medication and prayer. Derek packed away his journal, putting it away into his satchel. He stood up and slung the strap over his shoulder and tossed the pen into the opening of the bag.
"Are you just on a break?" Ellis asked the younger man.
"Yeah. I'm heading back in now. Care to walk with me?" His smile could make anyone melt.
"Of course." She replied, looping her arm in his.
Derek was nothing less than a gentleman. He was kind to everyone, even to those that others wouldn't even consider being remotely decent to. Derek couldn't help his generosity. He was raised by the sweetest, most loving people. Even though his father's expectations weren't necessarily his own, his father was still pleased with Derek settling with a position in the medical field.
Since Ellis' first emission, when she was given the news just a year ago, she and Derek had become good friends. Despite their age difference, Derek really enjoyed her company. Of course they hit it off right away because she is a high school English teacher. She actually teachers at her daughter's school. Ellis has a teenager named Meredith and she's only seventeen. Meredith… poor Meredith, she's so young and already the weight of the world was trying to crush her.
Ellis is all Meredith has ever had. Her father was an abusive drunk that would beat Ellis senseless. Meredith, only at the age of eight, had become Thatcher's new target. He was getting bored with beating Ellis all of the time. After countless beatings and an emergency room visit that almost cost Meredith her life, Ellis had left Thatcher and took Meredith with her. Meredith has never fully recovered from the trauma the abuse caused her. When she got older, she became more abrasive and quiet. She only seemed to be nice to Ellis.
"How's everything with you at home? How's your daughter?" Derek has never met or seen pictures of Meredith, but Ellis is always talking about her every time she unfortunately has to make another trip to the hospital.
"Well… she tries, she really does. She is still attending school, my class at least, but isn't doing so well. I'm afraid she's not going to pass her senior year. After we left her father when she was twelve, she's been so troubled. All she wanted to do was protect me, but she was just a little girl. She blames herself for everything. Meredith does everything for me… and it absolutely crushed her when she found out about my cancer."
"Is she still doing drugs?" They were now inside the hospital, and walking into the elevator.
"I don't know, honestly. I can't tell the difference. She is the sweetest, nicest girl when she's around me, but then I have her teachers telling me she gets into fights with other kids and acts aggressively. You have no idea what it's like to hear your daughter crying in her room at night because she's lonely and feels so powerless against herself. Ellis' eyes began to water and she quickly wiped her tears away before they could fall.
Derek was sympathetic and rather empathetic. "Oh, Ellis, I'm so sorry. Does she have any friends that she can talk to? What about counseling or rehab?"
"You try and get a seventeen year old girl to rehab. I mean, I can handle a little pot, but I think she's been doing harder drugs. If she does, she hides them well because I haven't seen any in her room. I worry about her so much, but with the cancer I get so tired and overwhelmed. I can't do much for her. There's only two kids that I know of that she's close to. They come over to the house a lot, but usually they hide out in her room or they hang out at the mall." She sighed, finally reaching the cancer ward.
Derek walked her to reception and greeted the nurse at the desk. "Miranda, my beautiful chocolate angel, could I have Doctor Hunt take a look at this lovely woman for me?" Derek's smile was magnetic. Who could possibly resist him?
"Anything for you." The plump black woman replied. "Oh, and you might wanna duck an run, your daddy is looking for you. Looks like another long night if you say yes." Miranda picked up the white phone off her desk and paged Doctor Hunt.
Derek sighed, taking off his satchel and leather jacket and tossing them under Miranda's desk carelessly. "I really, really don't want to work late again tonight. Addison will kill me."
"At least you work in a hospital, Derek." Miranda pulled out a Twizzlers from the candy jar next to her and stuck the end in her mouth. "Want one?"
He shrugged, taking one of the red liquorice flavored treats. "Did you know that liquorice is actually the root derived from the plant, legume, which is related to beans and peas? This candy is flavored with the extracts of the root."
She gave him an odd look, chewing diligently on the candy. "Mhm, that's nice, smarty pants, but don't you have some patients to be saving?"
Derek smiled at his friend. "Enjoy your afternoon, Miranda."
This was typical between Derek and Miranda. In fact, everyone was oozing with sweet words and affection around Derek. There was something alluring about him that made it hard for anyone to walk away without gushing over his adorable looks and enigmatic personality.
"Hey, Derek." Doctor Owen Hunt greeted his friend with a one armed hug before grabbing Ellis' patient chart off the counter of Miranda's desk. "You look beat, buddy," he mentioned, noticing the circles that lingered under Derek's piercing blue eyes, "Don't let your father find you before your shift is over."
Owen and Derek have been friends a few years now. Owen is still a resident, but in another year he will be a regular doctor. Derek has only had four years of schooling, but in the five years he's worked in Seattle Grace Hospital, he's learned so much more than he could have in any school. He's always been a hands on learner; doing the work instead of sitting in a classroom was always a more effective way for him to learn. Owen had undergone eight years of school and must do two years of residency before being officially accepted as a permanent doctor.
He scanned the chart quickly before peering at Ellis with a pleasant smile. "And this lovely, young lady must be Ellis Grey."
She blushed at her doctor's charm. "Oh my, are all of your friends as handsome and sweet as you, Derek?"
Derek's cheeks tinted pink at her words. "I only keep the best company. I suppose that's why I was so drawn to you."
She held her heart in awe. "You are so…" She sighed, unable to find the perfect word to describe the younger man.
"Amazing? Captivating? Charming?" He answered with a grin.
"Modest?" Owen joked, leading them both to a nearby room. "Have a seat, Ms. Grey." He pointed to the clinical bed and she stepped onto the small step attached to the bed-like chair. She sat on the edge onto the paper sheet that covered the bed. "Okay, nurse," he grinned at Derek, "Can you please take Ellis' vitals and take a blood sample for me?"
"Absolutely, doctor." Owen handed his friend Ellis' chart and excused himself for a few minutes to go handle another patient.
Mike took out a pressure cuff and instructed Ellis to roll up her shirt sleeve. He placed his stethoscope in his ears and listened to her pulse as the cuff was pumped with air, constricting her veins briefly before slowly releasing them. Derek read the meter with a small frown. "Your blood pressure is a tad bit low, but it could just be from your medications." He removed the cuff and placed his stethoscope back around his neck. After putting the cuff around the meter and pushing the cart back into the corner of the room, he washed his hands in the sink quickly and dried them off before putting on a pair of latex gloves.
Ellis watched Derek with stressed eyes. He was hiding whatever he was feeling, trying to will the worry away. "Owen is a great doctor. He's still a resident, but whatever happens you will be in good hands, okay?"
She just continued to stare at him with furrowed brows. That couldn't be good. "The hardest part about this whole thing is the way my daughter is taking this. If I don't somehow beat this thing, I don't know what will happen to her. She'll be eighteen in five months."
Derek walked over to her and sanitized the crease of her arm with a sterile gauze pad and inserted the butterfly-needle into her arm. The needle was attached to a tube so that he could take a few blood samples. "You can't think like that though. You have to be strong for her and she needs to be strong for you. Next visit, you should bring her."
Derek has never given up on anything in his life. He's especially never given up on those he cares deeply for. On Derek's days off, if Addison was busy at work, he would go and visit Ellis. It wasn't often, but he went to see her every chance he could to see how she was doing. They would normally write together. It was nice to have someone just as passionate about writing as Derek was. It was the perfect stress reliever. Ellis is an amazing writer, better than Derek! He marveled at her work; the details, the mood, the structure, the words she's used, everything was perfect.
"I'm just so afraid to expose her to more of this." She admitted with a crack in her voice.
He felt so strongly for this woman. If Derek had a single wish in this world, he would gladly give it to Ellis; to wish her a long, cancer free life. They did remove the lump they found some time ago in her left breast, but even if cancer is caught in time and dealt with, it is the most unpredictable killer among the human body. Cancer could be in remission for years before resurfacing again, or it could spread quicker than chemotherapy or radiation can control it and take an innocent life away in as quick as a month.
"She really needs to learn how to deal with this too. It seems the two of you are really close. She needs help if she's expecting to want to help you. You need to help yourself before you can help others, right?" He finished collecting the samples and removed the needle carefully, replacing it with a square piece of gauze and made her fold her forearm up to hold it in place. "Alright, I'm going to go take these to the lab and put a rush on it so we're not waiting forever for the culture results." He handed her a soft pink gown. "Go ahead and change. Doctor Hunt and I will be back in a few minutes to proceed with your examination."
She nodded and offered a small smile as Derek left the room. She couldn't help but feel as though something was wrong. Of course she has cancer, but as far as they new, it was under control. Derek walked to the elevator, making his way down to the laboratory. He made sure to state the sample's importance so they would get results in a day or so. As he made his way back up to the cancer ward, his hairs stood on end; he felt like he was being followed. He was afraid to turn around, knowing in the back of his mind who it was.
'Please don't let it be my father', he repeated to himself, walking hastily down the hall.
"Derek," damn, it was his dad, "Wait up, son. I need a favor."
Derek stopped in his tracks, his shoes screeching against the waxy, gray floor. "What's up, Dad?"
"I need you to work again tonight, it's only a few hours and you can take tomorrow off." He bargained.
Doctor Christopher Shepherd, Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital. He is extremely respected by all the doctors, nurses and surgeons that work with him. Christopher is a talented and skilled doctor, but can be pretty strict when he needs be.
Derek sighed, unable to say no. "Sure thing. I have my own favor to ask, if you don't mind."
"Sure," he replied eagerly, "what's on your mind, son?"
"You remember Ellis Grey, right?"
He pondered for a moment. "She is the cancer patient that you've become good friends with."
"Every time she comes back she's always handled by random doctors that don't necessarily take attentive care of her. She's special to me. Could Doctor Hunt be her attending doctor from now on?"
"Sure, I'll keep an eye on his work though since he's only a resident. Cancer is a difficult branch to work in since most of the time things turn out for the worse."
"It never gets easier, does it?" Derek normally works wherever he is needed, but lately he's been asking to work in the cancer ward, trying to understand the disease better for his friend.
Christopher patted his son on the back. "Not unless you grow cold and heartless. You just have to learn to keep your personal feelings separate from your job. It's harder when you make friends with ill people." He offered a smile before walking away.
Derek huffed noisily. He couldn't help but want to be nice and befriend everyone he came into contact with. He could make even the sickest person happy and hopeful. It's just a shame he couldn't keep a smile on his wife's face. He walked over to Miranda, who was sitting behind the reception desk, and retrieved his cellphone from his pocket. Miranda immediately realized he had been asked to work and was now having to break the news to his wife.
"Sorry, Derek." She gave him an apologetic look, holding another Twizzlers out to him. He waved his hand, rejecting the candy. She shrugged and nibbled on the end.
The phone rang a few times before Addison answered. "Hey honey, should I guess what this call is about?" She sounded annoyed.
"I am so sorry, but it's only for a few hours. I should be home by eight-twenty. I'm off tomorrow, so we can spend all day together!" Derek chirped, hoping to gain a cheer from his wife.
"Perfect, Derek." She was even more agitated. "You do remember that I am going out of town for a few days for the proposal at work, right? The one day you're off and I'm not even going to be here!" Miranda could hear Addison's distress loud and clear. "I'm getting a little tired of you putting your job ahead of your family. What's it going to take for you to realize what's really important?" Her voice rose in anger. Addison was so sweet and such a warm woman, but lately she's becoming distant and easily angered at Derek.
"I'm sorry, baby-"
Addison cut him off quickly. "Stop, just… stop. You care more about making your father happy than me."
"I'll be able to hang out with you all day tomorrow. Come on, Addison, don't be like this." Derek had a knot in his stomach. For some reason he felt that Addison was trying to be subtle about her true feelings.
"I need to pack for my trip. I'll talk to you later." The line went silent.
"Bye." Derek said to the dial tone, turning off his phone and jamming it back into his pocket.
He walked off before Miranda could say anything. She's a sassy woman with nothing but gossip in her life; Derek didn't need to hear what she had to say right now. He headed to Ellis' room, his feet heavily padding against the floor. He was angry at himself for causing such an angelic person to become bitter. All because he couldn't say no to his father. When he reached his friend's room, he knocked before entering.
Owen was already in the room, waiting for Derek. "Sorry," he apologized, "Dad found me."
Both Ellis and Owen frowned. "Sorry, buddy." Owen squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Ellis, could you please pull down your gown and lay back so that I may examine you?"
She nodded and obliged. She's been through a pregnancy and more breast exams than she could count, so she was way past being shy while exposed in front of a doctor. It was mandatory for a nurse to accommodate a doctor during any sort of exam that required being "exposed" for legality purposes. Usually it would have to be a female if it was a male doctor and a female patient, but being at such high regards within the hospital, Derek was trusted without question. Too many people make false allegations of sexual abuse during these kinds of physical exams not that Ellis would never do such a thing; it was just the rules.
Owen hovered above her and with gloved hands proceeded with the breast exam. He used his index and middle fingers to circle around the soft tissue feeling for any masses. "Good news," he smiled, allowing Ellis to place her gown back on, "No new masses since you've had them removed."
"That is great news!" Ellis beamed a flawless smile.
"So, hopefully by tomorrow we will get your blood results back and they show that you have a high white blood-cell count!"
"I can't wait!" She chirped.
Derek tried to smile, but he just couldn't. He should be happy that Owen didn't find any more cancer lumps in her chest, but he silently felt things around him were falling apart, crumbling slowly around him. His unusual behavior didn't go unnoticed.
"Is there something wrong?" The middle-aged woman's voice was full of concern.
The younger man shrugged. "It's my wife," he answered honestly, "she's upset with me. I hate disappointing her as much as I do."
"Don't be so hard on yourself." Owen patted his friend's back. "You're doing what you have to now so you can make a better life for yourself in the future."
Derek laughed sarcastically. "Addison thinks I'm a suck up and that's the only reason why I work so much. She's right," he stated, "I'm too focused on my dad's approval than my wife needing me at home. I'm such a fucking idiot."
"No you're not, Derek, don't say that." Ellis was disappointed that Derek was thinking so poorly of himself. Ellis loves him like the son she always dreamt of having and made sure to tell him that often. "You are one of the greatest people I know. You are a magnificent writer, a fantastic nurse, an amazing friend an a terrific husband. Not to mention you're handsome and can play the piano like an angel." Her words oozed out in a loving tone.
Derek couldn't help but smile. "Ellis, you are, without a doubt, the sweetest woman I've ever met."
She waved her hand at him in disbelief. "Oh you, your mother must be since she raised such a perfect son." Ellis stood up, still clad in the hospital gown. "You boys mind if I change back into my clothes now? My daughter will be home from school soon and I want to give her the good news."
"Sure." The two men said simultaneously.
"I will give you a call when your results are in. Most likely by tomorrow, Ellis." Owen smiled, he and Derek leaving Ellis to change in peace.
"Don't worry so much, Derek," he tried to put on his best reassuring smile, "Things will work themselves out. Women are confusing creatures."
Derek chuckled and agreed. "They certainly are."