It's raining again. Not that it isn't common. But it's different. Instead of being simply rain, it's cold. Windy. Dreary.
Disconsolate.
That's all it's been since I Had to fake my suicide. I've missed John. Now Molly, she's helped me, but it's not the same. I'm lost without my blogger. And I would never say it to his face.
I'm doing it.
I'm going to the flat. But not to see John; I can't see him now, not yet. I still have to watch for the snipers, so it'll be more dangerous.
"You should wait," Molly warned. "Catch a sniper or two. Be a lot safer."
"I'm not looking for safe, Molly. If I was, I would have really killed myself on that rooftop."
I stood at the window of the small flat she was willing to let me stay at, gathering my thoughts. At least she doesn't bother me. She just watches, for what should be the better part of twenty minutes, until I speak.
"I'm going."
"What? Sh-Sherlock, you can't possibly mean the-"
"Yes. To get some things I will need to go home permanently."
"What on this earth could possibly so important that you- you..."
I let her finish.
"...That you nearly have to commit suicide to get it?"
"I need my computer. It has information on it that I cannot continue without," I respond.
Lie.
"Is that it? I thought you had put all your files onto that jump drive you took from John."
"If you were listening, you would have remembered that I did not get everything, only the legal documents. There was no need for the others then."
Not a lie.
"Then let me help; I can... Lookout or something."
"Oh Molly, that couldn't possibly be any more stupid! If I happen to be killed or somehow incapacitated, I would need you to make sure everything was in order. It IS your work, anyway, so you sould be able to handle it."
She just stood there, almost dumbfounded, not sure exactly what to reply.
Molly, hurry up. I have too much work to do to wait for you to think about what to say.
"That's... That's the problem."
"What?"
"I wouldn't be able to handle it. I mean, look at John! Army doctor, people have died in his arms. Me-"
"You work with dead cavavers. What would be the difference?"
She replied, in a barely audible whisper: "I didn't love the others..."