Welcome to the Internet, Steve...

The Profile

"Alright, if you're sure you want to do this…"

"Tony suggested it would be a good way to reconnect."

"… oh well if Tony suggested it."

"Clint. He's not always trying to be incorrigible."

"Yeah it comes naturally to him."

"Clint."

"Alright, alright. Well. First you need an e-mail account. They ask for an e-mail account before you start. You can either use Yahoo or AOL as your e-mail."

"… is there a difference?"

"Not really but I use AOL if that makes it any easier?... okay then type in in the address line up there… okay go to the little envelope. Click it. Now you just have to fill out the 'Sign Up' stuff."

"Username?"

"It's like a pen name, its what people see as your name when you're online. Easiest way to make one is just use your real name and a number though some people make up stupid ones. I had one when I was a teenager that was something like 'circusmanofawesome1567'….quit laughing!"

"Sorry sorry… circus man of awesome… ow!"

"Shutup or I'm gonna sign you up as 'captainredwhiteandbabyblue' or something."

"… please don't…. you won't will you…. Why are you smiling like that?"

"Nothing. Try putting in your name… okay now see how its in red and says 'not available' and gives you some options, you can choose one of those or you can add a number or something."

"Okay… capsrogers?"

"Sure go for it… okay where is says birthday you can put your actual birthday or you can make one up you just put a fake year. Okay no, not that. That makes you fourteen if you do that."

"Really?"

"Yeah, don't do that or bus drivers and ice cream truck workers are gonna start sending you 'friend requests'."

"… why would they do that?"

"… I'll explain later. Just put 1982. That's when I was born."

"You're thirty?"

"Twenty-nine. I'm not thirty until September…I'm old…"

"…"

"Shutup. Alright now just pick a password, make it something kinda easy that you can always remember… "

"Hawkeye."

"Hmm?"

"That's what I'm going to use."

"… you're going to use my handler i.d. as your password?"

"Is that wrong?"

"No. No just was surprised that's all… yeah um, just type it in. Then type in that little code right there… no its TZ42b8rn."

"How can you even read that?"

"Years of practice. Hit create account… log in… okay there. Look. You have an email account. "

"… you can stop clapping."

"I'm just teasing you, Steve. Alright now stay logged in but open another window… right there, just do another tab. Okay and type in …"

"Tony said something about Tweets?"

"That's Twitter."

"Like a bird twitter?"

"More like hens. Just… Twitter is kinda off the table right now. Don't worry about Twitter."

"Alright…"

"Okay just like with the e-mail you have to put in all your information right there too… and the email you just made… okay hit the button…"

"This one?"

*Yeah… Now go and refresh your e-mail. Hit the spiny green arrows. Okay open that e-mail and hit the confirmation link…congratulations Steve. You are officially on Facebook."

"… why did you say that like I just signed some kind of death warrant?... Clint?… Why are you laughing?

A/N: This was a fun little one to write! Probably will do a follow up to it one day or another. Hope you liked!