It's Called Hyperactivity
By xSlytherclaWx (aka NarnianAslan)
Author's Note: My friend Stephanie gave me a fanfiction challenge a while ago, but I, being the unorganized spazz I am, lost the paper she'd written it on. I found it while I was cleaning my room (well, actually, I was listening to music… but I was trying to clean), So I'm gonna give it a shot. Here goes nothing.
Challenge: use the following words: Alohamora, Expecto Patronum, freak, Marauder's Map, bloody hell, lalala, expelled, Quidditch, Fluffy, Snitch, Quaffle, couch. Use the pairing of Stephanie and George.
As you can tell, this'll probably more than likely be a parody, really, it will.
But I love HP and MCR, possibly as much as I love breathing… well, maybe not that much, but close.
XXX
"Helloooo, Georgie-boy and Freddy-weddie!" Stephanie laughed.
"Shh, Stephanie, we're trying to find Harry, Ron, and Hermione to do some spying."
"Fine," Stephanie pouted.
"Bloody hell, the door's locked," Fred muttered.
"Alohamora!" Stephanie yelled. "I hope Fluffy isn't behind this door."
"That was last year, idiot," Fred whispered, getting angry.
"Oh yeah? Well… uh… shut up!"
"Shh!"
"Lalala," Stephanie grinned, intentionally being annoying.
"Shut up, Stephanie!" Fred and George yelled in unison.
Mrs. Norris came around the corner.
"Shit," George muttered. He held his wand to the Marauder's Map, "Mischief managed."
"Filtch is coming! Hide!" Fred ordered.
"But I don't wanna get expelled!"
"You won't if you hide," George whispered. Stephanie squeezed into the tight broom closet where Fred and George had hidden.
They heard Fitch's wheezing nearby, and Stephanie, miraculously, stayed quiet.
After Fitch had left, Fred, George, and Stephanie got out of the closet.
"Hey Georgie-boy! I'm a Gryffindor!"
"No way," George said sarcastically.
"Yes way!" Stephanie pouted.
"Mikey Way!" Brittany, Stephanie's friend cried.
"Brit, where'd you come from?" Stephanie asked.
Brittany ignored Stephanie and ran up to hug Mikey Way, who had come from the Room of Requirement.
"Uhh… hi?" Mikey said, confused.
Brittany laughed and flipped out a butterfly knife.
Gerard Way, who was standing nearby, jumped.
"I wanted a switch, but they're illegal in Britain," Brittany groaned.
Gerard shrugged and pulled out a comic book.
"I wanna read a comic book," Brittany frowned.
"Will someone tell me why my iPod won't work?" Mikey asked.
"It's run on electricity. Electronics won't work within Hogwarts because of the high levels of magic," Brittany clarified. "Accio Comic Book!"
Gerard's comic book flew out of his hands. "Hey! No fair! You cheated."
Brittany merely laughed.
"You're cruel."
"No, I'm apathetic and cunning," she answered while reading Gerard's comic book.
"She's a Slytherin, in case you couldn't tell," Fred laughed.
"Fuck you. Slytherin's better."
"Freak," George muttered.
Brittany laughed and closed the comic book. She focused on Levicorpus, muttering it unknowingly.
George was instantly lifted up by his ankle.
"Let's see you make it to Quidditch practice now!" Brittany smirked.
"Quidditch?" Gerard and Mikey asked.
"A Wizarding sport, it's played on broomsticks. The point is to catch the Golden Snitch, which earns 150 points for your team and ends the game. You can score points by getting the Quaffle through the goal posts, too. Fred and George are Beaters, so they try and beat this heavy ball towards the other team."
"Heh. That's suggestive," Candace, another Slytherin laughed.
"Where the fuck are all of you coming from?" Mikey asked.
"The more important question is where the fuck you and Gerard came from…" Candace replied.
"What's a Slytherin, anyway?" Gerard asked.
"A Slytherin is an awesomeful person worthy of worship!" Candace grinned.
"She's lying," Brittany sighed, "There are four Houses at Hogwarts: Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Gryffindor, and Hufflepuff. Ravenclaws are, if you will, the geeks, the nerds."
"Why aren't you in Ravenclaw, then?" George yelled.
"Because the Sorting Hat said I was better suited for Slytherin. Now, Ravenclaws are usually witty and knowledgeable. Gryffindors, like these dorks, are the ones who are brave to the point of stupidity. They're supposed to be chivalrous, but most of them aren't. Gryffindors are the popular kids and jocks. The ones who'll end up working for the other Houses. Hufflepuffs, are, to put it bluntly, goody-goodies. They're kind, fair, loyal, and 'unafraid of toil'. As I've said, goody-goodies. Slytherins are awesome."
"Todja!" Candace yelled.
Brittany ignored her. Gerard, who by this time was paying close attention, asked. "Why?"
"Because we're cunning, determined, and we'll do anything to prove ourselves and get what we want. Oh, and most of us are brilliant liars."
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"'Cause if you don't trust me, you're not gonna get your comic book back!" Brittany laughed.
Gerard grabbed for the comic book, but Brittany levitated it over his head.
Brittany laughed as Gerard kept jumping, trying to grab the comic book.
"You know, I'd bet you two would look hot in tight jeans," Candace grinned.
"Oh, no," Brittany muttered, slowly turning red.
"Why?" Mikey asked.
"'Cause you're half Italian."
Brittany let out an embarrassed laugh, she was beet red.
"What?" both Gerard and Mikey cried in unison. Gerard temporarily abandoning his mission to get the comic book.
"Candi, maybe you should, uh, try not to be sick? I mean, I know how hard that is for you, but-"
"You're the one who said it first!"
"Was not!" Brittany cried as she grabbed the comic book.
"Accio Pensieve!" Dumbledore's Pensieve came flying toward them, and Candace got it to land safely on the floor. She pulled two memories out of her head. Then, she forced Gerard, Mikey, and Brittany in.
The first scene formed. There were a load of Dementors swooping down over Harry and Sirius.
"Damn," Candace muttered.
"Expecto Patronum!" the Time-Turner Harry yelled. He was standing right near us.
"How come he can't see us?" Mikey asked.
"It's a memory, and apparently, Candace was stalking a certain Mr. Harry Potter," Brittany said.
About thirty seconds later, the scene changed. Candace, Brittany, and their friends Kaila and Kane Peters were eating lunch at the Slytherin table, even though Kaila and Kane were wearing Gryffindor and Hufflepuff robes.
"So, anyway, my mom might get us tickets to an MCR concert!" Candace grinned.
"All of us?" Kane asked, skeptically.
"Well, me and Brittany. You two can watch a movie or something."
Brittany laughed.
"Brittany, you haven't said anything about them today," Kaila pointed out.
Brittany shrugged.
Candace laughed. "Hey, Kane, I had a lot of fun last night."
"What?"
Brittany and Candace laughed even harder. Brittany was actually laughing so hard that she was attracting weird looks from Draco Malfoy and his cronies. Well, weirder than usual.
"Hey, Lovelace, am I gonna have to report you?" Malfoy called.
"Why?"
"Your uniform."
Brittany looked at her My Chemical Romance t-shirt, replacing her sweater. "It's called freedom of speech!"
"It's called school rules!"
"It's called you're an inbred ass!"
Malfoy seethed, but didn't reply.
"So, didja know that Gerard Way's half Italian?" Brittany laughed.
"Okaayy…" Kane said.
"I don't get it," Kaila said.
Candace was laughing harder than ever.
"Imagine him in tight jeans," Brittany grinned, trying to see how much of reaction she could get.
Candace started choking, but neither Kane nor Kaila understood why.
"Come on!" Brittany cried in exasperation, "Dontcha know what they say about Italian guys?"
"…No," Kaila began.
"But you're going to tell us anyway," Kane groaned.
"They say that they have big dicks!" Candace laughed.
"Brittany!" Kane gasped. Kaila hit her.
"I've sufficiently scarred you for life, huh?" Brittany laughed.
"Yes!" Kane and Kaila yelled.
"Then my job here is done!" Brittany stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, the pampered ferret freak will report me if I don't change."
"That's an insult to ferrets!" Kane said.
"He's right," Mikey muttered. "That is an insult to ferrets."
They were transported back to the corridor. Brittany opened up the comic book.
"That's my comic book!" Gerard grumbled.
"Yeah, well, uh, you're a geek!"
"So're you!"
"But you're a bigger geek!"
"Don't worry, Brit loves geeks," Candace laughed.
Brittany flipped her off.
"Man, do I have crazy friends," Stephanie muttered.
"It's called Hyperactivity!" Candace, Gerard, Mikey, and Brittany yelled.
"Steph! A little help!"
Stephanie raised her wand, deep in thought, and George fell down.
"Let's ditch these four," Stephanie said.
"The couch in the Gryffindor common room is calling my name," George grinned.
"Mine too."
George grinned and kissed Stephanie. "Let's go!"
Stephanie, a bit dazed, followed.
XXX
Author's Note: Todja it'd be a parody. Review please. Flames are okay, I don't care, honestly.
Again- I love HP and MCR more than anyone else I know.