These are what the Ronin Warriors and other characters would put on their
answering machines shortly before the beep.
Sage: If you are any of my unwanted fangirls, GO AWAY!!! I will never have SEX with you and if you keep asking, I will remain a VIRGIN at my dying day! If you are Yuli, you're too young to know what sex and virgins are, so don't ask. If you are Ryo and you have the same questions as Yuli, you should call your father and have a nice, long talk with him about the birds and the bees, because, Ryo-boy, now that you're dating women, you're a too old to be ignorant of such things. If you are either Sai, Kento, or Rowen, stop laughing at me! My life is stressful enough as it is! If you are merely Rowen on a sugar high, eat vegetables for a change! I'm talking about those green things at salad bars! Or do I have to explain what salad is? If you are Mia, the Ancient One, or my grandfather, I apologize for my outburst! Now, if you will please leave a message after the beep.
Ryo: Um, hello. My name is Ryo Sanada, but if you are my friends, you should know that by now. If you are Sage, I know all about the birds and the bees. Birds are really peaceful to watch and I'm allergic to bees. If you are Sai, you need to apologize to White Blaze for making that pool in my yard. If you are Yuli, Mia, or Kento, I most humbly apologize for getting drunk and using my armor's special attack in front of an audience! If you are Rowen, you cannot come over to my house to look at the stars. Last time, you couldn't get a good view so you tried to blow down the entire forest. If you are the Ancient One, I apologize for burning down Kento's family's restaurant. Everything looks like the Dynasty when I'm drunk! Now, please leave a message after the beep!
Sai: If you are Sage, no, I will not drive you anywhere. If the police see you even in the driver's seat, they might revoke my license for fun. If you are Ryo, my pond is not a bath for your tiger. If you are Kento, my family owns a pottery shop, not a sushi shop. If you are Rowen, no, you will not dissect fish for your biology project. If you are Yuli, feel free to come over; you are my only friend who is nice to fish. If you are Mia, please feel even freer to come over and stay the night too. If you are the Ancient One, no, I am not "too trusting" of Mia. Don't read anything into this. Now, if you are anyone else, leave a message after the beep.
Kento: If you are Sage, thank you; you're a genius, dude! Please continue giving women my phone number instead of yours. I've been having really wild nights and I don't say much! If you are Ryo, next time we spar, never wear the Inferno. In fact, I don't know why you still have that armor anyway. You almost burnt down the dojo that my family uses. If you are Sai, fish tastes good cooked in homemade pottery. If you are Rowen . . . Rowen, I have only one word for you . . . DIET!!! And don't tell me I shouldn't judge. Yes, I eat a lot of food, hamburgers and stuff, but do you know what is always on my hamburgers? Everything! I get the meat; I also get LETTUCE and TAMATOES. Vegetables! I eat very healthy meals. When we go to restaurants, I eat a SALAD! I don't stuff myself down with chocolate and sugar like you do. I wonder if your mom is going to stop paying child support until you stop your obsession with candy. I know your dad needs those child support checks because he doesn't make enough money to pay for your giant dental bills. If you are Yuli, stay away from Rowen when there's candy around. He tends to get very territorial about his sugar. If you are Mia, don't call at night; the phone line will be busy. If you are the Ancient One, why did you give Wildfire and the Inferno to Ryo? He keeps getting drunk and burning things down. If you are anyone else, please leave a message after the beep.
Rowen: If you are Sage and/or Kento, I know perfectly well what a salad is. I also know that chocolate and sugars are vegetables. After all, chocolate comes from the cacao tree from which we also get cocoa, and sugar comes from a plant called sugarcane. If you are Ryo and/or Sai, never prevent me from my research. I need plenty of open sky to see the stars and I need plenty of fish to dissect. If you are Yuli, I have a list of perfectly HEALTHY meals that your mother can fix for you. If you are Mia, don't accuse me of not knowing that healthy means. If you are the Ancient One and you wish to give me a lecture, um . . . I'm doomed. Now, please leave a message or lecture after the beep . . .
Sage: If you are any of my unwanted fangirls, GO AWAY!!! I will never have SEX with you and if you keep asking, I will remain a VIRGIN at my dying day! If you are Yuli, you're too young to know what sex and virgins are, so don't ask. If you are Ryo and you have the same questions as Yuli, you should call your father and have a nice, long talk with him about the birds and the bees, because, Ryo-boy, now that you're dating women, you're a too old to be ignorant of such things. If you are either Sai, Kento, or Rowen, stop laughing at me! My life is stressful enough as it is! If you are merely Rowen on a sugar high, eat vegetables for a change! I'm talking about those green things at salad bars! Or do I have to explain what salad is? If you are Mia, the Ancient One, or my grandfather, I apologize for my outburst! Now, if you will please leave a message after the beep.
Ryo: Um, hello. My name is Ryo Sanada, but if you are my friends, you should know that by now. If you are Sage, I know all about the birds and the bees. Birds are really peaceful to watch and I'm allergic to bees. If you are Sai, you need to apologize to White Blaze for making that pool in my yard. If you are Yuli, Mia, or Kento, I most humbly apologize for getting drunk and using my armor's special attack in front of an audience! If you are Rowen, you cannot come over to my house to look at the stars. Last time, you couldn't get a good view so you tried to blow down the entire forest. If you are the Ancient One, I apologize for burning down Kento's family's restaurant. Everything looks like the Dynasty when I'm drunk! Now, please leave a message after the beep!
Sai: If you are Sage, no, I will not drive you anywhere. If the police see you even in the driver's seat, they might revoke my license for fun. If you are Ryo, my pond is not a bath for your tiger. If you are Kento, my family owns a pottery shop, not a sushi shop. If you are Rowen, no, you will not dissect fish for your biology project. If you are Yuli, feel free to come over; you are my only friend who is nice to fish. If you are Mia, please feel even freer to come over and stay the night too. If you are the Ancient One, no, I am not "too trusting" of Mia. Don't read anything into this. Now, if you are anyone else, leave a message after the beep.
Kento: If you are Sage, thank you; you're a genius, dude! Please continue giving women my phone number instead of yours. I've been having really wild nights and I don't say much! If you are Ryo, next time we spar, never wear the Inferno. In fact, I don't know why you still have that armor anyway. You almost burnt down the dojo that my family uses. If you are Sai, fish tastes good cooked in homemade pottery. If you are Rowen . . . Rowen, I have only one word for you . . . DIET!!! And don't tell me I shouldn't judge. Yes, I eat a lot of food, hamburgers and stuff, but do you know what is always on my hamburgers? Everything! I get the meat; I also get LETTUCE and TAMATOES. Vegetables! I eat very healthy meals. When we go to restaurants, I eat a SALAD! I don't stuff myself down with chocolate and sugar like you do. I wonder if your mom is going to stop paying child support until you stop your obsession with candy. I know your dad needs those child support checks because he doesn't make enough money to pay for your giant dental bills. If you are Yuli, stay away from Rowen when there's candy around. He tends to get very territorial about his sugar. If you are Mia, don't call at night; the phone line will be busy. If you are the Ancient One, why did you give Wildfire and the Inferno to Ryo? He keeps getting drunk and burning things down. If you are anyone else, please leave a message after the beep.
Rowen: If you are Sage and/or Kento, I know perfectly well what a salad is. I also know that chocolate and sugars are vegetables. After all, chocolate comes from the cacao tree from which we also get cocoa, and sugar comes from a plant called sugarcane. If you are Ryo and/or Sai, never prevent me from my research. I need plenty of open sky to see the stars and I need plenty of fish to dissect. If you are Yuli, I have a list of perfectly HEALTHY meals that your mother can fix for you. If you are Mia, don't accuse me of not knowing that healthy means. If you are the Ancient One and you wish to give me a lecture, um . . . I'm doomed. Now, please leave a message or lecture after the beep . . .