Angela and Sharice Take a Stroll Through Middle-earth
Chapter 1: Shortcut to Bananas
A long time ago, (actually, just a few days ago) in a place far, far away, (from all of you, that is,) there lived two girls named Angela and Sharice. They were some of the worst kind of girls, that is, they were fan-girls. This simply means that if you were some gorgeous, drop-dead, good-lookin' kinda guy, you would not want to be trapped alone in a dark alley with them. Angela was a Final Fantasy fan-girl, though at times she was a Lord of the Rings fan. Sharice was an N'sync fan-girl, particularly Justin Timberlake, to the dismay of her friends.
On this magical mystical night, (to the misfortune of all,) Angela and Sharice were hyper. They, with Sharice's dad, traveled to the magical mystical land of Downtown Disney in Anaheim, California. They each had their own personal agendas in mind. Sharice's dad hoped for some beautiful scenery to photograph, as he thought he was a photographer. Angela, with her own camera, didn't care what she photographed, as long as he was hot. Sharice was looking for some excruciatingly hot guy to ogle, stalk, and haunt for the rest of his days.
Somehow, the three of them managed to find a dark, romantic, secluded corner amidst the shopping malls and restaurants. Sharice's dad immediately whipped out his camera. Flash after blinding flash ripped through the air, damaging the sight of Angela and Sharice, whom he was trying to pretend he didn't know.
"Ew. dark. I hate the dark." Sharice said, crushing Angela's arm. Angela was too busy trying figure out how to get the flash on her camera to work to scream for her poor arm, which was starting to turn red from the powerful force of Sharice's nails.
Sharice's dad sighed, and quickened his pace, trying desperately to lose them. It would've worked too. and it did. Well, don't look at me like that! It did!
"Um. Angie." Sharice started.
"Not now Sharice! I've nearly got the flash on my camera to work, which is more important than the fact that we are currently losing your dad and that we could get lost or worse."
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Angie!"
"I said not now!"
"But Angie."
"Got it!" Angela shouted, holding up her camera in triumph.
"Angie!"
"What? What is your problem?" Angie shouted, irritated that Sharice did not immediately applaud the success of finding the "Charge the Flash button" in huge letters that could be read easily even in the dark.
"My dad is gone!" Sharice whined.
Angela looked around, eating a banana. "Wow. So he is."
"Hey," Sharice asked, "where did you get that banana?"
Angela took a few terrified steps back, holding her banana protectively. "It's mine! I found it! MINE!"
"Give it!" Sharice shouted.
"No!" Angela screamed and started to run. Sharice began to chase after her.
Angela ran and ran until she tripped over a conveniently yet mysteriously placed rock. As she fell, her poor banana went flying through the air.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
O!" screamed Angela and Sharice.
"Ow!" they heard someone say.
Angela and Sharice climbed out of the conveniently yet mysteriously placed bushes that appeared magically yet mysteriously from nowhere. They found to their horror, the banana had hit some short bum with hairy feet and curly brown hair, right in the eye.
"Bastard! That was my only banana!" Angela screamed, and began to beat the living tar out of him. He immediately began to cry.
"Um, Angie."
"Don't try to hold me back! He killed my banana!"
"Angie! You moron! He's not alone! Look!" She pointed to his eight friends, who were looking rather confused. There were three other guys who looked like the little guy Angela was currently beating, a guy who looked kinda like Merlin, a guy with a really big axe, a shaggy looking person, some other guy, and a God with blue eyes and long blonde hair.
Angela looked up and her eyes popped out of her skull. Sharice helped her put them back in.
"What are you doing?" asked the cute one. (The blonde, just in case you were wondering.)
"I. I. Um. I." Angela stammered professionally. Sharice just rolled her eyes.
"We're sorry. My friend Angela mistook your friend for a rock."
"Don't listen! They are witches. or something." Said the other guy. Fortunately, everyone ignored him, which seemed to be the usual.
"Well, you have to admit, Frodo does look rather rockish." One of the Frodo clones said.
"I resent that!" Frodo spoke up.
"Frodo? Your name is Frodo?" Angela asked.
"Yes, I am Frodo Bag."
"Shut up, nobody cares about you!" Angela replied. "Let's see. if he's Frodo, then you must be. Gandalf, Gimli, Aragorn, Legolas, Merry, Pippin and Sam!"
"You forgot me!" said Boromir.
"Who are you?" Angela asked. "Well, never mind. If I can't remember you, you must not have done anything important anyways."
"How do you know our names?" Aragorn asked.
"I read the book! Look." she whipped out her copy of the Fellowship of the Ring.
"You carry a copy of the book with you?" Sharice asked.
"Everywhere I go!" Angela answered.
"Hey, can I see it?" Sam asked.
"No! Get your own." She said.
Sam pouted.
"Listen, we have no time for this. The eight of us." Gandalf started.
"Nine." Boromir corrected.
"Eight of us are on a very dangerous mission."
"A dangerous mission! Cool!" Angela said, and latched herself onto Legolas' arm. "Field Trip partners! I pick Legolas!"
"This is so stupid. I hate the Lord of the Rings! This would be so much more interesting if Justin Timberlake was here." Sharice complained, eating a banana.
Suddenly, Justin Timberlake appeared in a puff of smoke. He looked around, somewhat confused.
"Yay!" Sharice screamed, tossing her banana aside. The banana hit Frodo in his other eye.
Justin looked around and saw Sharice. "You again! I thought I had a restraining order on you!"
"Those don't exist here, baby!" Sharice said ecstatically.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Justin screamed, now terrified. He took a terrified step back, raising his arms in the air, smacking Gandalf in the face. Gandalf took a pained step back- off a conveniently placed cliff, where he fell to his death.
"Oh my God! Gandalf's dead!" screamed Pippin.
"No I'm not. I think I'm okay-" Just then, he was eaten by a Balrog.
"Oh God. now he's dead." sighed Merry.
"No I'm not. I think I'm getting better."
"You're dead enough!" screamed Sharice.
"Yes. and Justin killed him!" Aragorn said, pulling out his sword. "We have to kill Justin!"
"We do?" asked Legolas.
"Actually, probably not. but God is he ugly." Aragorn replied.
"No he's not!" Sharice shouted in a rage.
"You can't kill me!" Justin said, ducking behind Boromir.
Aragorn took a swing at Justin with his sword, of course, hitting Boromir; but as Boromir died in great and terrible agony, no one seemed to notice. So try not to feel sorry for him. Come on, he wasn't all that important anyways!
"Ha! It worked! I didn't think it would." and with that, Justin fell flat on his face.
"Oh my God, baby! Are you okay?" Sharice screamed and ran to him.
"You won't get away!" Aragorn yelled.
Justin screamed like a girl, and ran away.
"Wait for me!" Sharice screamed, and ran away after him.
"No! Now we have to go after them!" Angela yelled, still clinging to Legolas' arm.
"Don't you think we should help Frodo take the Ring to Mordor? As the fate of the free world depends on it." Legolas suggested, trying in desperation trying to pry Angela off of him. Gimli handed him a crowbar.
"Um. I think I could stand to bear the Ring for a little while longer." Frodo said.
"Really? Wow, you hobbit's really are strong." Gimli said in wonder.
"Actually, it's all the hobbit weed. Works really well as a pain med." Frodo replied, taking a puff.
"Besides, it's MY story! So I say we all ride off into the sunset to avenge Gandalf's death!" Angela said. Legolas' arm began to turn blue.
"Um. okay. But first we'll need some horses to ride off into the sunset." Aragorn said.
"Oh come now. this is Middle-earth? How hard could it be to find some frickin' horses?" Angela said.
Chapter 1: Shortcut to Bananas
A long time ago, (actually, just a few days ago) in a place far, far away, (from all of you, that is,) there lived two girls named Angela and Sharice. They were some of the worst kind of girls, that is, they were fan-girls. This simply means that if you were some gorgeous, drop-dead, good-lookin' kinda guy, you would not want to be trapped alone in a dark alley with them. Angela was a Final Fantasy fan-girl, though at times she was a Lord of the Rings fan. Sharice was an N'sync fan-girl, particularly Justin Timberlake, to the dismay of her friends.
On this magical mystical night, (to the misfortune of all,) Angela and Sharice were hyper. They, with Sharice's dad, traveled to the magical mystical land of Downtown Disney in Anaheim, California. They each had their own personal agendas in mind. Sharice's dad hoped for some beautiful scenery to photograph, as he thought he was a photographer. Angela, with her own camera, didn't care what she photographed, as long as he was hot. Sharice was looking for some excruciatingly hot guy to ogle, stalk, and haunt for the rest of his days.
Somehow, the three of them managed to find a dark, romantic, secluded corner amidst the shopping malls and restaurants. Sharice's dad immediately whipped out his camera. Flash after blinding flash ripped through the air, damaging the sight of Angela and Sharice, whom he was trying to pretend he didn't know.
"Ew. dark. I hate the dark." Sharice said, crushing Angela's arm. Angela was too busy trying figure out how to get the flash on her camera to work to scream for her poor arm, which was starting to turn red from the powerful force of Sharice's nails.
Sharice's dad sighed, and quickened his pace, trying desperately to lose them. It would've worked too. and it did. Well, don't look at me like that! It did!
"Um. Angie." Sharice started.
"Not now Sharice! I've nearly got the flash on my camera to work, which is more important than the fact that we are currently losing your dad and that we could get lost or worse."
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Angie!"
"I said not now!"
"But Angie."
"Got it!" Angela shouted, holding up her camera in triumph.
"Angie!"
"What? What is your problem?" Angie shouted, irritated that Sharice did not immediately applaud the success of finding the "Charge the Flash button" in huge letters that could be read easily even in the dark.
"My dad is gone!" Sharice whined.
Angela looked around, eating a banana. "Wow. So he is."
"Hey," Sharice asked, "where did you get that banana?"
Angela took a few terrified steps back, holding her banana protectively. "It's mine! I found it! MINE!"
"Give it!" Sharice shouted.
"No!" Angela screamed and started to run. Sharice began to chase after her.
Angela ran and ran until she tripped over a conveniently yet mysteriously placed rock. As she fell, her poor banana went flying through the air.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
O!" screamed Angela and Sharice.
"Ow!" they heard someone say.
Angela and Sharice climbed out of the conveniently yet mysteriously placed bushes that appeared magically yet mysteriously from nowhere. They found to their horror, the banana had hit some short bum with hairy feet and curly brown hair, right in the eye.
"Bastard! That was my only banana!" Angela screamed, and began to beat the living tar out of him. He immediately began to cry.
"Um, Angie."
"Don't try to hold me back! He killed my banana!"
"Angie! You moron! He's not alone! Look!" She pointed to his eight friends, who were looking rather confused. There were three other guys who looked like the little guy Angela was currently beating, a guy who looked kinda like Merlin, a guy with a really big axe, a shaggy looking person, some other guy, and a God with blue eyes and long blonde hair.
Angela looked up and her eyes popped out of her skull. Sharice helped her put them back in.
"What are you doing?" asked the cute one. (The blonde, just in case you were wondering.)
"I. I. Um. I." Angela stammered professionally. Sharice just rolled her eyes.
"We're sorry. My friend Angela mistook your friend for a rock."
"Don't listen! They are witches. or something." Said the other guy. Fortunately, everyone ignored him, which seemed to be the usual.
"Well, you have to admit, Frodo does look rather rockish." One of the Frodo clones said.
"I resent that!" Frodo spoke up.
"Frodo? Your name is Frodo?" Angela asked.
"Yes, I am Frodo Bag."
"Shut up, nobody cares about you!" Angela replied. "Let's see. if he's Frodo, then you must be. Gandalf, Gimli, Aragorn, Legolas, Merry, Pippin and Sam!"
"You forgot me!" said Boromir.
"Who are you?" Angela asked. "Well, never mind. If I can't remember you, you must not have done anything important anyways."
"How do you know our names?" Aragorn asked.
"I read the book! Look." she whipped out her copy of the Fellowship of the Ring.
"You carry a copy of the book with you?" Sharice asked.
"Everywhere I go!" Angela answered.
"Hey, can I see it?" Sam asked.
"No! Get your own." She said.
Sam pouted.
"Listen, we have no time for this. The eight of us." Gandalf started.
"Nine." Boromir corrected.
"Eight of us are on a very dangerous mission."
"A dangerous mission! Cool!" Angela said, and latched herself onto Legolas' arm. "Field Trip partners! I pick Legolas!"
"This is so stupid. I hate the Lord of the Rings! This would be so much more interesting if Justin Timberlake was here." Sharice complained, eating a banana.
Suddenly, Justin Timberlake appeared in a puff of smoke. He looked around, somewhat confused.
"Yay!" Sharice screamed, tossing her banana aside. The banana hit Frodo in his other eye.
Justin looked around and saw Sharice. "You again! I thought I had a restraining order on you!"
"Those don't exist here, baby!" Sharice said ecstatically.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Justin screamed, now terrified. He took a terrified step back, raising his arms in the air, smacking Gandalf in the face. Gandalf took a pained step back- off a conveniently placed cliff, where he fell to his death.
"Oh my God! Gandalf's dead!" screamed Pippin.
"No I'm not. I think I'm okay-" Just then, he was eaten by a Balrog.
"Oh God. now he's dead." sighed Merry.
"No I'm not. I think I'm getting better."
"You're dead enough!" screamed Sharice.
"Yes. and Justin killed him!" Aragorn said, pulling out his sword. "We have to kill Justin!"
"We do?" asked Legolas.
"Actually, probably not. but God is he ugly." Aragorn replied.
"No he's not!" Sharice shouted in a rage.
"You can't kill me!" Justin said, ducking behind Boromir.
Aragorn took a swing at Justin with his sword, of course, hitting Boromir; but as Boromir died in great and terrible agony, no one seemed to notice. So try not to feel sorry for him. Come on, he wasn't all that important anyways!
"Ha! It worked! I didn't think it would." and with that, Justin fell flat on his face.
"Oh my God, baby! Are you okay?" Sharice screamed and ran to him.
"You won't get away!" Aragorn yelled.
Justin screamed like a girl, and ran away.
"Wait for me!" Sharice screamed, and ran away after him.
"No! Now we have to go after them!" Angela yelled, still clinging to Legolas' arm.
"Don't you think we should help Frodo take the Ring to Mordor? As the fate of the free world depends on it." Legolas suggested, trying in desperation trying to pry Angela off of him. Gimli handed him a crowbar.
"Um. I think I could stand to bear the Ring for a little while longer." Frodo said.
"Really? Wow, you hobbit's really are strong." Gimli said in wonder.
"Actually, it's all the hobbit weed. Works really well as a pain med." Frodo replied, taking a puff.
"Besides, it's MY story! So I say we all ride off into the sunset to avenge Gandalf's death!" Angela said. Legolas' arm began to turn blue.
"Um. okay. But first we'll need some horses to ride off into the sunset." Aragorn said.
"Oh come now. this is Middle-earth? How hard could it be to find some frickin' horses?" Angela said.