Please remember,
Please remember,
I was there for you and you were there for me.
Please remember,
Our time together,
When time was yours and mine and we were wild and free.
And remember,
Please remember,
Me...
Please Remember
It hurt.
Oh, goddammit, it hurt so much.
She had never imagined it to be so bad, when she had even imagined it at all. She had know it was a possibility, of course, there had always been a chance that something like this would happen. She had known about it, she had readied herself for it, but never once had she believed it.
And that was why it hurt so much. If she had just planned for it from the beginning, instead of allowing herself to believe something else, to believe that he wouldn't get hurt, that nothing would happen to him, then maybe, just maybe... it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe she wouldn't feel like her heart had had just been ripped out.
But dammit, it wasn't supposed to be that way. It wasn't supposed to happen, he shouldn't have been taken away. It shouldn't have happened.
But it did.
And goddammit, it hurt.
Laughter -- loud, obnoxious laughter -- met her ears, and Phil snarled, her eyes narrowing and her fists clenching to the side of the control panel. She looked up, frowning, at her partner. Dammit, Rioroute, can't you just concentrate? We have two R-Type Victim coming it at this moment!
The boy in front of her, the one who had laughed, turned and looked at her, his eyes bright and cheerful. He winked, replying, Yeah, yeah, I know! I'm just... warming up!
Phil sighed, one hand reaching up to massage her forehead. Ugh. Fine. Hurry up and get in, though, she murmured, looking down at the readings on her chart. See! Look, Tellia-Kallisto is on-line already. YOU aren't even in Agui-Keameia.
And I got here late, Rioroute continued, though his humorous expression toned down at bit. Okay, I understand, he accepted, and gave Phil one last, ebullient grin. Be here when I get back, naa?
You are INFURIATING! Phil snapped, and even she could tell that her words lacked the bite she had intended. Not that it really mattered -- she wasn't really upset, just tired, due to a late-night alignment setting that had gone overtime.
Rio only smirked and responded, Yeah, I try, as he climbed into his Ingrid.
She could hear the others right now: Garu cursing, Leena trying to pacify him, and even the sound of Tune's soft crying. Every so often Garu would punch the wall in irritation, sending a loud through the area, as well as accompanying vibrations. She knew that Yu and Kazuhi had disappeared, sinking off to wherever they thought to go when something of this caliber occurred, and to be quite frank, this didn't bother her in the slightest -- they never did stay for anything, and instead faded away into shadow whenever possible. And Erts, she didn't know where he went, no one ever did, except possibly Tune. He was removed from their group, which was something only he suffered from -- even Yu, for all his silence and cold acknowledgement, was included, in some distant, hard to understand way.
But she didn't care about that. And every loud from Garu made her shudder more, her shoulders shaking and tears streaming down her cheeks. Nothing seemed to be enough -- all the anger, all the tension, everything... it was there, thriving, wrapping around everyone.
But, somehow, she felt empty.
Agui-Keameia, set shields to level 2, came the order.
Rioroute nodded, realized belatedly that Phil couldn't see him, and replied,
The Victim were spread through three sections: Q, R, and S. It was difficult to adjust his shields to cover everyone, seeing as how during each passing second, they seemed to spread further apart. He was contemplating on just removing the shields from himself completely (by all means, he wasn't near either of the victim, due to his need to stay by Reneighd-Klein), but it was something he did rarely, so he was hesitant to do it.
But that was okay -- he didn't need to do it now. He just needed to concentrate on the battle, and just where the others were.
Got the bastard in my sights, I'm going in--
Tellia-Kallisto, to the left, 120 degrees.
Eeva-Leena, you have a bad angle, retreat--
Dammit, Leena, I have him--
Gareas, the Victim is making a move to pass you from behind.
First, what the fuck are you doing? It has a clear path--
Tellia-Kallisto, one down.
Agui-Keameia, move right, you're getting too far from Reneighd-Klein.
First, a new reading -- there are--
And then came the cool, oddly soothing voice of First. Move to formation 6b. More Victim are approaching.
...more Victim approaching. echoed Erts softly, who, apparently, had just read the same thing.
Rioroute moved away from his current position, arranging himself behind Erts, while the other Ingrids took their positions as well. The closest Victim, seeing only a clear path to Zion, shot forward, just as it had been planned. The other Victim, Yu's target, had long since been destroyed, but Rio could see from his charts that another flock was heading towards them -- mainly weak, subservient types, ones that were easily outmaneuvered and killed, but still annoying.
The formation was doing well -- the com links were still crowded, but the tension was severely lessened, due to the obvious decrease in the threat. Many of the Victim were destroyed quickly, and only a few were hanging on, fighting to get to Zion.
It was then that Rioroute noted an anomaly on his charts.
What the fuck?, was Rioroute's first thought, his eyes narrowed and one hand reaching towards the charts, as if to confirm it's actuality. The image showed a dark blot, like that of ink, heading towards them -- from Zion. Or, at least, from near that direction. What the fucking hell is THAT?
Luckily, Rioroute hadn't been the only one to notice the oddity.
First, something is heading towards us, presumably another Victim, stated Erts, and even though Rioroute didn't know their newest comrade very well, he could sense the apprehension in the boy's voice. Which was reasonable, considering that the... whatever it was on the screen was completely new to all of them.
Erts continued, It might be of a new type -- the readings don't show what it is exact-- ah--
Erts halted in surprise, and Rioroute looking down at his chart -- only to catch his breath in astonishment as well. The anomaly, the strange blot, had disappeared -- completely. Rio frowned, thinking, B-but it was just NEAR us... it was practically within view. Why... how--?
His thoughts were cut off as the com link was suddenly overcome with chatter, worry making itself apparent again.
Wait, Erts, what do you mean, it's GONE? Where did it fucking GO?
No readings at GIS, either; it's like you guys are alone.
Could it have just be, y'know, a fluke? In the system?
It was there -- I could feel it. I could sense it.
First, what are our orders?
But before Teela could speak, could tell them what to do, Rioroute felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up -- he could feel SOMETHING, and it was a dire feeling, as if a portent of some kind.
And suddenly, the anomaly appeared again. Except that now, it wasn't just a blot -- it was a very obvious T-Type Victim, an a strong one at that.
And it was right behind him.
Rioroute spun around the instant he saw the Victim on the charts, his mind screaming at him to get out of there. He wasn't a fighter, he only had a few weapons, and none of which that would work if he didn't have a proper angle or aiming distance. The Victim lunged at him, but was halted, albeit briefly, by his shields, still strengthened and in place.
Agui-Keameia, shields to Level 4! Now! Phil.
Dammit, I'm going in! Garu.
No -- I'm closer. Yu.
Rioroute was barely able to identify the voices in his attempt to remove himself from his immediate danger. Once he was far enough away, Rioroute first looked for Erts -- he needed to be by Reneighd-Klein, now more than ever, if the Victim were able to surprise them like that -- and then for First. Where was she?
Luckily, he spotted both of them in one turn, because they were near each other. Ignoring the running commentary of the com links, Rioroute made his way over to the two of them -- he came to a halt near Reneighd-Klein and looked at Ernn-Laties, who was surprisingly passive for having a T-Type so nearby.
Rioroute ventured, What should we do?
was her answer, which, Rio thought, really didn't do anything for him.
Then she continued, There are more. But they are hiding.
This idea was so ludicrous to him that Rioroute gaped for a moment before snapping,
How is that possible? Erts asked, his voice likewise startled.
They've never hidden before, Rioroute babbled, his eyes wide, They can't hide, they don't know --
First didn't answer, but she moved forward, away from the two of them.
It was then that it happened: Garu, in the midst of fighting with the Victim, had been thrown off -- Rioroute, distracted, didn't notice this until too late, and Garu rammed into the shields without any warning -- which effectively confused Garu temporarily. The force of Eeva-Leena's blow had such an effect on Rioroute that he couldn't withstand the shields -- momentarily, they collapsed, leaving everyone exposed.
And suddenly, all hell broke loose.
Ah! Agui-Keameia, right behind you--!
Another Victim, R-Type--!
But this time, Rioroute wasn't so lucky.
He felt the extreme pain as the Victim clamped down on his Ingrid's midsection, as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He struggled, hoping to catch the Victim by surprise and get away, but it had pinned his arm to his side, effectively trapping him and--
Oh, FUCK!, Rioroute thought, biting back his urge to scream as the Victim tore at him. He could hear the others talking, the com link was filled with worried, frightened voices, shouting orders and concerned questions. But he couldn't concentrate on any of that -- he could only feel the sense of searing pain that was erupting from his midsection, the feeling of listlessness that was beginning to set into his mind.
And suddenly, he realized that he wasn't going to get out of it.
The Victim had a tight grip on him; it had attacked from behind and had gotten a strong bite -- and now, it was tearing at him, trying hard to destroy him, to rip away the metal encasing of his Ingrid and to... and to--
Rioroute could hear people shouting at him, screaming his name, but it was soon blocked out by sound of rushing blood in his head -- he could sense that he was dying: his life was draining from his body, his sight was fading away. And abruptly, rapidly, She was there.
Rio offered a cracked smile as he saw the girl before him, her eyes seeming to be filled with tears, and he suddenly realized that he knew her.
Rioroute murmured, his voice sounding weak and bloody to his ears, which somehow scared him even more than being attacked had. Why... are you here?
The girl didn't respond, but merely embraced him, crying into his bloodied outfit -- her hold was such that the pain began to diminish, as if it was being washed away; but Rioroute could still see the blood, he still felt the Victim tearing at him, could still hear the sounds of people screaming --
And then it began to fade.
So this... is what it's like to die, Rioroute mused airily, his thoughts hazy and clouded. His eyes were darkening, his mind was becoming confused, and then--
I wonder...
...where Phil is...
His vision went red, then black, and slowly, he faded away.
She couldn't think.
Leena had tried to come in, had tried to talk to her, but she hadn't let the older girl in. She didn't want to talk to anyone right then -- she didn't want anyone to see, not anyone but -- but he was dead, and he wasn't going to be coming to help her, not like he used to.
He used to help her out when she was upset, albeit unintentionally sometimes -- he would make her laugh when she was upset, and sometimes he would act so silly that she couldn't help but be cheered up. Even when he was acting stupid, when he was running around with Gareas or trying to flirt with every girl he came in contact with, she still felt like he was there for her. Even when she was mad at him, so mad that she wanted to hurt him, she could feel that they were connected.
And so he'd help her.
But not anymore.
Dammit, Rioroute', Phil thought, burying her head in her arms and allowing a fresh slew of tears to slide down her cheeks, Dammit, why'd you have to DIE?'
Phil stared, her eyes disbelieving, at the flat line on her controls panels. The flat line was just under the words, Pilot Vital Status.
She had never really looked at it before. Oh, sure, when she was a Repairer Candidate, she had learned about all of the controls, due to the necessity of it. And sometimes, during either simulations or actual battles, Phil would casually glance up at it, just to see that Rioroute's heartbeat was racing and his adrenaline was up -- because it was fun to see just how energetic he was, how lively and active the line seemed.
But it wasn't active.
The line was flat.
Phil stared down at the line, her mind uncomprehending -- the line was never flat, it couldn't be, not when a pilot was occupying the Goddess. It must be a glitch, a glitch that she hadn't noticed earlier when she had reconfigured Agui-Keameia the night before.
But she knew that wasn't true -- she could feel that it wasn't true.
And so Phil just stood there, disbelieving, not wanting to believe... that Rioroute was dead. That just a moment ago, he was talking on the com links, sounding worried but very, very alive, and now -- now he was...
Be here when I get back, naa?
She could still see him. He couldn't... he could be--
But he was, and she knew it. She knew that he was. Rioroute was dead.
And she collapsed.
Phil whispered brokenly, feeling as if all her strength had suddenly been sucked from her body. How? Dammit, Rioroute...
And she began to cry.
The funeral was short, like it had been with Ernest. It was quick, efficient, and very cold, it seemed. It took place a few hours after the battle had been completed, after Garu and Yu had freed Agui-Keameia from the jaws of Victim, which was soon destroyed, and then escorted its mangled form back to GIS. Rioroute had already been dead by then -- he'd been dead before Garu or Yu had even touched the Victim, before anyone could do anything significant -- the only person near enough was Erts, and he wasn't able to do much more than sit back and watch as it happened, as Rioroute had been torn apart by the creature -- he had tried, as had they all, but in the end, it was to no avail. Rioroute was dead.
The funeral was simple, but Phil paid little attention to it. She stood next to Leena, who was caught between wanting to cry and wanting to comfort Phil and Garu -- the latter of which looked furious, as if so filled with pain that he couldn't understand what to do about it. Erts was silent, his head bowed, and he had so removed himself that he hadn't said one word since the incident; while Tune sobbed quietly, feeling the effects of Rioroute's death despite having never been especially close to him. Yu and Kazuhi were together in silence, as always, and only Kazuhi showed emotion during the funeral -- Yu, on the other hand, looked stony.
Phil didn't want to cry -- she wanted to stay strong, to look at the incident and think, I am a Repairer on GIS, the last defense of Zion. I am not weak, but she couldn't. Everytime she thought she was in control, that she was able to look up and listen without tears, she would suddenly see him again, suddenly remember his smile and his laughter and...
Be here when I get back, naa?
But he never came back.
And how we laughed,
and how we smiled,
And how the world was yours and mine.
And how no dream was out of reach,
I stood by you, you stood by me.
We took each day, and made a child,
We wrote our names across the sky.
We ran so fast, we ran so free,
I had you and you had me.
Please remember...
Please remember.
A/N: Um -- yeah. It's weird, and yes, I know it isn't very conclusive. Since when is death ever conclusive, after all? (for the OTHER people, not the person who died, of course.) Besides, I wrote this while being sick and drugged up. So, ha.
Anyway, this is a look at the rough, confused aspect of death -- I may or may not write a sequel, depending on whether or not I think it needs one. It is set up for one, though, as confusing as it is. So, yeah, maybe.
Tell me what you think.