The atmosphere around the two alchemists was awkward, to put it mildly. After nearly two months of "no-strings-attached" sex, Roy decided that it was time to go about things the "proper" way - or as proper as things could go with Ed. So they were out on a date.
Waiters bustled around them, carrying plates on their arms with refined balance and skill. The restaurant itself was upscale and rather fancy; it even had a dress code. That being so, both alchemists were dressed in their finest suits, nervously chatting about work and other tedious topics.
Ed's golden hair was tied back into a high ponytail. His bangs framed his face like parted curtains, revealing a gorgeous sun-kissed face that Roy would have given anything to kiss at that moment. His smaller, yet muscular physique was hidden beneath a stunning suit of black.
His Auto-Mail fingers tapped the table as they sat in silence, waiting for their food to carried out. Tap, tap, tap. Ed's fingers drummed on the cloth-covered table, maintaining a steady (and annoying) beat. Roy tried to think of something to say to quell the awkward atmosphere, but he came up with nothing.
The older man nervously tugged at his tie, looking around the suddenly too-small room. He was determined to avoid Ed's intense amber gaze, but the shorter alchemist was having none of that - he cleared his throat.
"So..." Ed said, slowly meeting Roy's dark gaze. "Sex in the bathroom?"
A heartbeat of silence.
"Yeah, let's just do that instead."
Their waiter came out of the kitchen, plates in hand, only to be greeted by a rush of gold and black dashing past. He blinked, looking at the empty table with an expression of utmost confusion. He sauntered over to the table and saw a twenty-dollar bill...along with a note. He picked it up and read it.
Terribly sorry we couldn't have stayed longer. We have some urgent business to attend to. But, if you could, please keep people out of the bathroom. If no one gets in, I'll be glad to give you another forty dollars upon our return.
Colonel R. Mustang
The waiter smiled with glee and immediately went about putting up "CAUTION: CLEANING IN PROGRESS" signs around the men's bathroom. He shrugged. People would just have to ignore the moans coming from within the restroom.
"FUCKING HELL! RIGHT THERE, BABY! HARDER, ROY! AH - FUCK YES!"
Children's ears were covered, gasps of horror were heard, and perverts of all ages flooded around the bathroom door, listening to the perverse pleas of Edward Elric. Alchemist for the People, indeed.