(story done from both Sirius' and Remus' POV, my first fanfic so be nice, but please review. Slash between RL and SB.)
Disclaimer: characters ain't mine sigh

For Merlins sake Remus, pull yourself together!

"Remus, is everything alright mate?" The quill in my hand paused briefly before carrying on a sentence on the roll of parchment beneath,

"Yeah course," The lie came easily, it was times like these I'm almost thankful about how I have to lie to everyone about what happens to me once a month.

"C'mon mate," Sirius sank down into the chair beside Remus, he gave a quick glance aound the library to the few other occupants, and satisfied they were too far away to hear continued, "Moony, I know when your lying, I've had to watch you lie about yourself too much so don't insult me." A small smile escaped my mask, I glanced up at him beside me and quickly looked away my heart had already started to pound due to the fact that Sirius was sitting so close to me that I could feel his breath on my ear when he spoke. I tried to control my body mainly my mouth as it had somehow become very dry without me noticing. Sirius continued,

"Whats wrong? You know you can tell me, these past few days you...well you don't seem yourself." The concern in his voice made my mouth drier still, I swallowed hard before answering,

"I know Sirius, I'm sorry, I just haven't been getting much sleep lately. I guess I'm just stressed out by homework, still haven't caught up from the last full moon." he didn't look convinced, but sighed softly.

"ok, well if you wanna talk anytime, you will come to me ok?" He laid his hand briefly on my arm, sending shivers down my spine, and caused the quill to stop in my hand completly, homework forgotten. His eyes searched for mine, but I avoided them and managed to choke out, "..k.." He gave a small smile, and rose from his chair. As he made his way across the library and through the door, I let out my breath I didn't realise I was holding.

Pull yourself together its just Sirius, Sirius your best mate, Sirius who has been your friend for years, Sirius whose always there for you. Why am I acting like this? Its stupid, you shouldn't feel like this towards a friend.

A MALE friend another part of his mind kicked in I groaned softly and laid my forehead on the table in front of me.

"That doesn't sound so good." My head snapped back to look up into the emerald green eyes of Lily, I gave her a small smile and sighed leaning back in my chair. She sank into the chair vacated by Sirius and gave me a long look. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"huh?"

"Sorry, muggle expression...you got something on your mind?" I sighed again and leant forward onto the table not looking her in the eye.
"Has it got something to do with Sirius?" I felt my breath hitch in my throat and considered lying to her, but finally gave a small nod. "Have you guys had a fight?" I shook my head, "Did he do something wrong?" I shook my head harder, "Did you do something wrong?" I tilted my head thinking, she gave a small laugh, "You know it would be alot easier if you actually spoke." I returned her smile, though it was smaller and shorter than hers.
"Don't worry about it, whatever happened I'm sure you two will work it out. Just try talking to him." She gave my arm a reassuring squeeze and got up to leave. "Oh, by the way, James was looking for you earlier, said he'd be up in the common room." I thanked her and said I'd be up shortly. I turned back to my roll of parchment as she left and tried to concentrate.

Stir clockwise 7 times...I wonder if Sirius is up there too...and anti-clockwise 3 times making the potion...maybe if I told him how I feel..NO! I can never tell him, he'd kill me, or at best laugh in my face. Once the potion had turned a nice turquoise-blue...Merlin, whats WRONG with me!...Leave to simmer for 3 minutes...He would never feel the same way about me...Repeat stirring...how do I feel about him any way? This last thought finally pushed all thoughts on potions away, and also managed to keep my mind silent aswell.

"Here he is! Oi, Remus, over here!" I looked up on my way through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room to see my best friends James, Peter and Sirius sitting in their favourite chairs by the fire, James was waving me over. I smiled at James and glanced at Sirius who was gazing at me with a curious expression, I guess I didn't sound as convincing as I thought I did. I thought, making my way over to them.

"Hey guys," I joined James on the sofa, naturally drawing up my knees underneath me and leaning comfortably against the arm. "What you up to?" I asked them, avoiding Sirius' gaze.

"Oh not much, was just telling the others bout that game of chess I had with you the other night. My pieces still haven't recovered…" James laughed at his own defeat, Peter giggled along and Sirius gave a weak smile. James glanced between me and Sirius and his eyebrow raised questionably, "Hey you alright Moony? Seem a bit down lately…" I ran a hand tiredly across my eyes covering my annoyed expression, and replied softly,

"Yea Prongs, I'm fine, just exhausted mate." His eyes lingered for a moment then glanced at Sirius, then turned quickly to Peter,

"C'mon Wormtail, lets see if I can beat you at a game of chess." James rose, Peter following closely behind complaining about not being good at chess, their conversation drifted from my concentration as Sirius lowered himself beside me.

"Remus…." My eyes turned to the piece of fabric I was fiddling with on the armrest. "Remus…" he tried again, I lowered my gaze more,

"Moony…" His voice firmer, emphasised by the placement of his hand on my knee. My hand stopped in their movements, my heart flickered at his touch. Breathe Remus, breathe! These thoughts vanished, as did my breath, when Sirius leaned closer, placing his other hand on my shoulder. "Moony please, talk to me."

"About what Sirius?" I thanked my lucky stars that my voice didn't give away the way my heart was pounding in my ears, though I was sure he could hear that anyway.

"Ah, c'mon Remus, something is defiantly bothering you, James could tell, even Peter is starting to notice and that's saying something. Why can't you just tell me?" I opened my mouth to reply but he just cut me off, "And don't try and get out of it with the excuse of being tired, 'cause it's not working, there's something else, something bigger." Tell him tell him!

"No,"

"What?" Oh crap

"I…er, its…"

"Nothing, I know… c'mon Remus, its just you and me." I didn't think it was possible but my heart started thudding harder, and I grew more aware of his hand still placed on my knee. I gave a quick glance around the common room, noticing that what Sirius had said was true, we were alone. His hand on my knee moved, leaving what felt like a cold hole in my leg, this was instantly forgotten as his fingers cupped my face, turning my gaze to his. His dark eyes were filled with warmth, clearly seen through the long strands of messy dark hair framing his face. We were so close, I could feel his warm breath against my face making my stomach flip and my mouth go dry. His fingers brushed my chin as he withdrew his hand, replacing it back on my knee. I wished for the cold feeling on my leg just to have his hand on my cheek once more. No, get it together, it's just Sirius, just a friend. Just keep breathing, your just exhausted, hes just…

"Rem? What is it? You can tell me…" My eyes went to his lips as he whispered these words, as they continued down his throat to his collarbone I had to wretch them away, only to be caught once again by his searching gaze. Those eyes, so deep and thoughtful. He had the outward persona of a confident young man, but doubts could be seen in those depths. My hand rose to the side of his face and brushed away a strand of hair clinging to his lips, Turn away I told myself turn away! My body refused and leaned closer to him, I slowly searched his eyes, and closed the small gap between us, my eyes flickering shut as my lips brushed his. He drew in a small gasp, but didn't pull away.

(Sirius' POV)

Remus pulled back before I realised what had happened, a look of shock on his face.

"Oh God, I'm... I... sorry... I..." He leapt up from his place beside me, leaving my hands poised. He looked from side to side seeking escape all the while mumbling "I'm sorry... I...I shouldn't have..." I remained motionless on the sofa, lips still tingling from his touch. Remus' hands went to his head, running them through his light brown hair, pulling it slightly at the sides, "God I'm so STUPID!" His hands angrily thrown down by his sides. I looked up to see his eyes shining with unshed tears, "I'm sorry Sirius." at this he sprinted across the common room and up to the dormitory. My eyes followed him but I made no move to stop him. Long after I heard the door shut behind him I sat still trying to work out what had just happened. He kissed me. Remus kissed me.

I gently licked my lips still tasting him and frown, he kissed me. I slowly rose from my seat and followed Remus up to the dormitory. Entering the room I saw James and Peter sprawled on their beds with the remains of a chess game lying between the beds. Remus' curtains were pulled shut around his bed, and I could hear nothing from behind them.

"Remus?" I said gently, "Moony we gotta talk..." still nothing. I sighed and went across to my bed next to Remus', took off my robes and pulled on some pijama trousers and got into bed. I lay facing the closed curtains of Remus' bed, and went over in my mind what had happened in the common room, finally falling into restless sleep.

Will be back shortly with ch 2, tell me what you think!