Author Note: So my imagination could not pull away from this couple. Sasha wanted out, so I let her!

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men...sadly...but I do own my OC, so there.

The thick smoke of cigarettes filled the bedroom of the Neuropsychiatrist that hindered her ability to see what was in her room. The door was closed, the curtains drawn, and she was sick to her stomach as she thought back to the yelling and screaming that brought her down in this mood. She removed the burning white cigarette from her lips and leaned over as if she was going to heave; however, her stomach was as empty as a hollowed out log. Her mind wanted her to cry, oh how she wanted to cry, but she was all out of tears. Why did she even act like that if she could not emotionally take it?

Baby…

Mental images of him flashed in her skull causing her to hold the shirt in her arms tighter as she rocked and opened her mouth in a silent wail. Was this it? Should she have just ended her life since she felt too incomplete without him? She rocked harder and shook her head to try and change what her frontal lobe was trying to reason through in her head. Rainbows, unicorns, butterflies, a magical forest that was filled with animals like her cats and she was the queen fairy of the forest that kept it safe and protected. The pretty fairy had a perfect world until she saw that mortal woodsman that let her see the dark, primal side of life. God damn it! No! Out! Her own mind was betraying her, this is blasphemy! To numb her mind and quiet those raging synapses, she took another long drag of the stick of tobacco in her hands and felt the trembling of her muscles slowing to a halt. Now she felt herself getting some control of her mind and returned to thinking about her fairy princess forest fantasy as she lit the last cigarette in her second box.

Outside of her bedroom door, her cats waited for her. She could hear them both scratching at the wood and trying to dig their way under the door to check and see if their master was okay. No, there was no way that their master was okay, and she knew she was well on her way to a being in the same hospital that she worked at day in and day out. The dark haired woman leaned back in the chair she sat in, her eyes locking on to the fancy ceiling fan that was producing a nice breeze in the room. As she blinked, she slipped in and out of the real world; first swearing that she could hear the temperate sounds of lovemaking in the room, then switching to the wild sounds of a beast grunting in their sleep. She closed her eyes fully, pleading her temporal lobe to just make the sounds stop; he was not going to haunt her, not like this. Even though they were apart, she had to make things right for her to be allowed some closure in her life since this was wrecking on her mentally to the point of making her wish she could just crack. There was way too much going for her to allow herself to break, and she always wanted to be the bigger man without his approval.

The moment Sasha cracked open the door, her cats surrounded her legs and wrapped themselves around them to beg and ask for attention. The depressed woman reached down to pet the fluffy cats, a tear falling from her eye since she finally felt wanted and needed after their separation. The summer sun in British Columbia was incredibly bright today, almost blinding her when she looked out the large windows in her living room. She had to be brave and just get it all over with since this sun was giving her a horrible headache. Once more, she gave her love to her fluffy babies and made a wish on them that she would have been strong enough to let him go before jogging down the stairs and running out the door.

Sasha had no idea where that man could have been. Hell, if anything he was probably in Alaska by now, but the first place she checked was his job site. The moment she hit 97 going northbound, she was almost running people off of the road. People avoided making eye contact with her in fear that she would ram her monster of a truck into the side of their miniscule vehicles. Not even the police officers that she tailgated and sped ahead of wanted to deal with her in fear of risking their lives. As she drove, she could feel her mind going into those dark places that she always kept under wraps when dealing with that mutant. She saw him in bed with another woman, treating that stranger the same way he used to treat her; the thought causing her to tightly grip the leather on the steering wheel and a headache form in the middle of her skull. She almost ran a family of four off the road to take an exit she had almost missed from her mind was distracting her from watching the road. The moment she got off the highway, it was like she put the pedal to the metal, going nearly double the speed limit on the two lane road.

A large chain link fence divided those who worked within from outsiders. The gate was usually open, but to actually get where the men were working, one would have to check in at a trailer before going off to their assigned spots. Sasha kicked up dirt as she parked her truck, almost forgetting to turn the behemoth off before running to the check in trailer in hopes that somebody had seen him.

"Logan! Where is he?" she screamed as she beat open the door.

The men nearly jumped from their office chairs and stared at the bare-footed woman who had barged in and intruded on the clock. Sasha was not pleased at the stares of confusion for to her they symbolized unawareness.

She hated that stare.

"Hey, morons," she snapped her fingers a few times once she slammed the aluminum door behind her. "Where is the man with the temper?"

A man with fiery red hair, matching mustache, and pale white skin stood up from his desk, removing the cowboy hat upon his head.

"Lil' lady," the man had an obvious Southern American accent to his voice. "You'd best be calm'n yerself down n' take'n a breather! Now I been hung out with that fellow before, we usedta' drink together. I ain't seen him no recently though, no records of him checking in."

That hardened woman felt her heart begin to break which caused her demeanor to crumble at her feet. "Are you sure? Have you checked?"

The man sat back down and turned to his computer screen, scrolling a few times before stopping and scanning the screen. He closed his eyes and shook his head, "Sorry lil' lady, he ain't been fo' a'while."

She could feel her fingers ball into fits, a growl of anger and disappointment as press through her teeth as she slammed the door behind her to storm to her truck. Tightness in her chest and stomach began to grow and exploded the moment she shut the door to her truck. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! She felt herself repeating to herself as she pummeled her steering wheel, tears running down her face. When the wheel would not budge, she started the vehicle and drove off to her next spot as tears ran down her face. Like the night after that argument, she was hysterical and barely able to take a breath as she sped to the bar she had met Logan at the second time their paths crossed. It was there he took her heart, and it was there that she would have to go and relive that fateful day in her mind.

Hope was in her heart that he would be in there shooting pool with a toothpick dangling from his mouth, just like the time she had actually spent some time with him. However, it was no use, nobody had seen the man in a long time, and she held her head in defeat. Again, she felt that knot forming in her torso, but this time it moved up her throat to her head, where the headache grew to feel like a throbbing mass underneath her frontal bone. The last place she would look was the one place he liked to be alone. It was a lookout point that gave one the best view of the mountains and forest below. She wanted to get horses just so she could ride down the cliff, but had never gotten around to it.

At the lookout point, it was lonely and vacant. The wind blew and tossed her hair from one side to another, carrying with it the scent of the pine around her. She inhaled deeply and called out his name from the point, hoping that he would hear her and return to her so they could fix what she messed up on. Maybe get back together again and start anew? The only thing she heard was the echo of her voice bouncing back to rattle the tympanic membrane inside of her ear and register that it was nothing but her voice. She could not help but begin to cry for her was gone from her life and it was her fault. It was all her fault, and there was no way she could make it up to him. Images of her and Logan together, full of bliss, flashed in her mind. The bliss turned into passion, and then the passion turned into pain. It was like her mind wanted to make her remember what she had and what she had lost.

Stop it.

The images ran by faster, voices meshing together to create a symphony of emotions.

Stop it now.

It was like her mind wanted to make she knew what she had lost.

"SHUT UP!" she felt herself scream before her world turned white.