Disclaimer: This is my first crack at a Pirates of the Caribbean story. I
have a friend helping me with ideas on this, so I don't own the plot
exclusively. I own no one from this story. The doxie Lauren isn't mine
either. She owns herself (and if she had her way, she'd own Orlando Bloom
but she doesn't). I wish I owned Johnny Depp for if I did, we would be
married despite the big age gap and we would be pirates, robbing yachts.
This story is funny to me, but then again I am sick and twisted so you
readers may not find it as funny as I do. Well, without further ado, onto
my first attempt at a POTC story!
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You've Got The Best Buns In Town by: Untainted Memory and her partner in crime, Holliwould.
Chapter 1- Nighttime Fight
We find our hero, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow walking away from a bar, swaying from side to side, with young Will Turner tagging along behind. Jack was rambling on and on about one adventure or another, leaving Will to daydream. Normally, he would be listening to the captain in rapt attention, but tonight, something just seemed off. Maybe it was the red-lined full moon shining above them. Or maybe it was the slow, heavy footsteps that were following them from the time that they left the bar.
Without warning to Will, Jack turned quickly and pulled his sword. He pointed it towards the figure in the darkness. Will did likewise, though neither of them could see the person who had clearly been following them.
"Stand and fight like a man," Captain Jack Sparrow commanded. "Unless you are a coward."
"I can assure ye, Jack," a voice said from the darkness, "that I am no coward."
"Barbosa!!" Jack hissed.
"We thought you were dead," Will said incrediously.
"Not so dead as ye thought." Barbosa stepped out of the darkness and Jack and Will tensed.
Barbosa was indeed alive. He looked just like he had in life, but they both distinctly remember him dying. In each hand, he held a huge green apple. On his head was perched a huge hat with a gigantic purple feather. He looked every bit the part of a terrifying captain.
"I will have me revenge," shouted Barbosa. With that much said, he threw an apple at Will, hitting the young pirate in the head and knocking him unconscious. A huge sword fight between Captain Jack Sparrow and Barbosa ensewed with no winner in sight. Each new that this was a fight to the death, and each knew that the Pearl was on the line. This only made Jack fight harder, pushing Barbosa out onto a pier. He held his sword point to Barbosa's throat.
"This time, I'll make sure you stay dead," he said. And with that much said, he forced Barbosa backwards off the pier. When he didn't hear the expected splash, Jack looked over the pier. There, he saw Barbosa. The evil man had fallen into a ship of apples. He had died on impact. The crew of said ship looked up at Jack in question. Jack, ever the gentleman, tipped his hat and returned to Will who was now waking up.
"I just missed it, didn't I," Will asked.
"Aye, you did." Jack helped him to his feet. Will scooped down and grabbed the apple that had beaned him. Before Jack could react, Will hit him in the forehead with the apple. Jack looked up at his forehead then at Will.
"Do you want to destroy my remaining brain cells, lad," Jack asked.
Will laughed as they walked off to the Pearl, intent on sailing back to another bar in another port, maybe to pillage after a few more rounds of beer. But as soon as they set foot on the ship, they were faced, yet again, with old enemies.
"Hello, Jack," one of them said. Jack heaved a heavy sigh.
"Not you people again."
~E N D O F C H A P T E R 1~
You've Got The Best Buns In Town by: Untainted Memory and her partner in crime, Holliwould.
Chapter 1- Nighttime Fight
We find our hero, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow walking away from a bar, swaying from side to side, with young Will Turner tagging along behind. Jack was rambling on and on about one adventure or another, leaving Will to daydream. Normally, he would be listening to the captain in rapt attention, but tonight, something just seemed off. Maybe it was the red-lined full moon shining above them. Or maybe it was the slow, heavy footsteps that were following them from the time that they left the bar.
Without warning to Will, Jack turned quickly and pulled his sword. He pointed it towards the figure in the darkness. Will did likewise, though neither of them could see the person who had clearly been following them.
"Stand and fight like a man," Captain Jack Sparrow commanded. "Unless you are a coward."
"I can assure ye, Jack," a voice said from the darkness, "that I am no coward."
"Barbosa!!" Jack hissed.
"We thought you were dead," Will said incrediously.
"Not so dead as ye thought." Barbosa stepped out of the darkness and Jack and Will tensed.
Barbosa was indeed alive. He looked just like he had in life, but they both distinctly remember him dying. In each hand, he held a huge green apple. On his head was perched a huge hat with a gigantic purple feather. He looked every bit the part of a terrifying captain.
"I will have me revenge," shouted Barbosa. With that much said, he threw an apple at Will, hitting the young pirate in the head and knocking him unconscious. A huge sword fight between Captain Jack Sparrow and Barbosa ensewed with no winner in sight. Each new that this was a fight to the death, and each knew that the Pearl was on the line. This only made Jack fight harder, pushing Barbosa out onto a pier. He held his sword point to Barbosa's throat.
"This time, I'll make sure you stay dead," he said. And with that much said, he forced Barbosa backwards off the pier. When he didn't hear the expected splash, Jack looked over the pier. There, he saw Barbosa. The evil man had fallen into a ship of apples. He had died on impact. The crew of said ship looked up at Jack in question. Jack, ever the gentleman, tipped his hat and returned to Will who was now waking up.
"I just missed it, didn't I," Will asked.
"Aye, you did." Jack helped him to his feet. Will scooped down and grabbed the apple that had beaned him. Before Jack could react, Will hit him in the forehead with the apple. Jack looked up at his forehead then at Will.
"Do you want to destroy my remaining brain cells, lad," Jack asked.
Will laughed as they walked off to the Pearl, intent on sailing back to another bar in another port, maybe to pillage after a few more rounds of beer. But as soon as they set foot on the ship, they were faced, yet again, with old enemies.
"Hello, Jack," one of them said. Jack heaved a heavy sigh.
"Not you people again."
~E N D O F C H A P T E R 1~