AN: My second M fic meep. A special thanks to Jacks (LemonGreen) for this, you're amazing, girl.
-- Delusion --
-- By Adorelo --
I've dreamed about it, more times than I care to admit. I'm pathetic, really pathetic. Who pines so completely over a woman that they cannot have? Pathetic.
Lying in bed at night, thoughts of her plague my mind, my body. I can smell her wherever I am; my memory has her scent permanently set to loop in my brain. I wonder what she'll like. Will she like it slow and caring, fast and hard? Is she kinky and wild behind that stoic exterior?
I've envisaged what I'll do to her. I play the scenario over and over during the lonely nights. I think her lips will be full and wet, I think her core will be hot and tight. I dream, I muse, I fantasize. I'd love to find out for real. She's my world. She keeps me sane. She drives me crazy.
I'll drive her crazy.
She'll knock on my door, three times, just like normal. I'll open up and she'll smile, sadly. Vulnerable.
She won't say anything; just gasp quietly as I run my hands down her back, my lips latching to her jaw. Control slipping. She'll moan louder when my fingers slip under her shirt, her mouth forming my name as I scratch over her hips. And I'll kiss her softly, because it can't just be sex.
She'll be hot, I'll be horny. Two plus two makes four. Or three, in our case, because I'll have missed one key point. My eyes will find hers, my fingers stilling as I rest my forehead to her cheek. The words will slip out before I even have chance to process them. I won't need to process them; they've become such an integral part of my being.
I love you.
She'll moan for real then. In my mind, she'll whisper soft words back to me as I slip off her shirt, her bra, her façade. I'll be able to smell her - she hides her arousal well, but I can read her like a book. She cannot lie to me.
It won't be sex. I'll make love to her in every sense of the word. I'll worship her body with reverence and respect; I'll express a mere extension of my love for her in the most physical way possible.
She'll lose the rest of her clothes; let them slip to the floor along with her walls. Forgotten. My hands will float back to her as I'll smooth over her skin. Silk. Hot silk.
I'll still be clothed, and something about her hot naked body pressing against mine through cloth will almost be my undoing. Her fingers will unbutton my shirt, but that's as far as she'll be able to go. Her touch will falter, a thin sheen of sweat covering her collarbone as my fingers reach her apex. I'll stroke her thigh, get my revenge for all the times she's tormented me. Tease.
She'll beg me, hate doing it, but beg that I take her. Eyes rolling, she'll whimper, urging me on as I slide my hand towards her center. Heat. I'll find wetness --all for me-- slip in a finger, then two, fucking her gently as she grips my arms. Control will go now, replace it with burning passion as she undulates her hips, searching for that little extra friction.
Against the wall, she'll throw her head back, exposing her fluttering pulse that'll command my attention. Suck. Lick. Leave a mark because I won't let her go. Not now. Not ever.
Her hands will move, tugging my jeans down-- only part way-- before she'll pause, body tensing, eyes open in shock. She'll convulse around my fingers and it has to be a fucking dream, but she'll scream my name, reminding me it's real. Through her daze, she'll recover from the shock before I'll even have a chance to process the events. My jeans will finally be pushed down, boxers entangled -- convenient-- to join the haphazard pile of her clothes somewhere on the floor. Memory's always been an issue for me, but she can make me forget my own name sometimes.
I'll lift her up, pressing her hard against the wall, smiling at her groan of appreciation and her slight whimper of need. Her thighs will part against my body, her desire coating the head of my cock. She'll try to reach for me, hands grasping blindly, but, for once, I will be in control. I will call the shots; wait out, just a little, 'til she's squirming then thrust in.
Bang; it'll begin.
Feral, out of control. And she'll love it, begging me to go a little faster, just a little harder, anything to push her further on in her race towards completion. Nails will pierce my skin, my own sweat stinging the cuts.
In my mind, I'll be a king, a beast, taking her rough and hard as she begs me to push her further. I'll comply, of course I'll comply. Even in my own fantasies, I'm powerless to refuse her anything. Pathetic. My lips will find hers as I drive into once more. Hard. A tweak of a nipple. Something, anything and she'll scream into my mouth, squeezing me tightly as I relentlessly push into her.
Her movements will bring me release, heady fragrances soothing my mind as we continue to shake with the aftershocks. It's my dream, my fantasy and, as I slowly let her down, her eyes will find mine again, her lips moving slowly as she whispers the words I'll do anything to hear.
I love you too.
Right now, I have only my dreams - that's all they are. I'll make them all come true, one day, but until then, it's another night alone with my fantasies as I continue to dream of holding her in my arms, wondering what it'd be like to show her how much I love her.
Until one day.
-- Fin --
-- 03/28/2008 --