Dear Historia: Without You, Rainbow is Colorless
I swear; there is no woman I adore; besides you.
Attack on Titan credit to Hajime Isayama |Highschool!AU | Dedicated to Erehisu Day (10th May, 2019) and Erehis Fanzine (5th May, 2019) | English Version
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She is pretty since she was born and she is good at playing cello. Historia and I have a lot of differences just like the sky and the earth. That girl really like classical music, while I am a vocalist and guitarist of a rock 'n roll band. Every time we walked in the school corridor, everyone always mocked me and her: The Queen and the Gardener. Of course, I was pissed off and reproached them with a bunch of swear and curse words. Meanwhile, Historia was just giving a bitter smile while holding my fingers. She didn't care about the world's rebuke.
Almost every man in our school or maybe in the street would compete to trade every single thing that they had just for dating Historia. Because she was perfect, in fact she looked more perfect when she became my girlfriend. It's not a surprise at all knowing the fact that I had more haters than her. I have no light to shine, but she has. She was like gold among soot. She was also the brightest star in the Milky Way. And I was the dark thing that made her shine even brighter.
Without noticing it, we have been together for two years. This year was the last semester of our study in school. It meant that we would focus on the university. I hadn't thought about the university yet. Probably, I would go to university in Boston or Harvard, but it was impossible for me. Because besides being stupid, I had a big dream with my band. We wanted to be more serious and focus after signing a contract with an indie label. Because of that, I had no interest in going to college.
"Eren, they ask for my help to play cello at the ball. What do you think?" She looked at my face, then her socks several times. As if the socks had the same name as me.
"They? Who are they?" I frowned and got confused. I didn't know if it was because of her question or how she looked at her socks. We were sitting on the floor and leaning against my bed.
"They are the ball's committee, Eren." Historia sighed. "You didn't listen to me, did you?"
"My bad." I turned my head to her and looked at her with a regretful expression. "Why they don't ask my band instead?" I continued with a relaxed tone.
Historia giggled. Her face slowly turned red. I felt curious about her behavior today. "Oh, Eren. You know that it's impossible." She shook her head. And it felt like I was stabbed by a knife right in my heart. This beautiful creature … did she just underestimate me?
"My band can sing ballad song." I protested. "It's just you guys haven't heard it."
"But you fit your own style." Historia leaned her head on my shoulder. She rubbed my chest softly. "You look great whenever you are 'screaming' while singing. I like that about you, Eren."
Our bodies were getting closer. I hugged Historia's body and pecked her lips. There was a fruity flavor in her lips that made me addicted to it. It was probably because of the lipgloss that Historia put on her small lips. Those lips looked tempting for me to kiss them again and again.
"So, will you play cello?" I held myself before I snogged her again. I could feel she nodded and hugged me tighter. "If you play cello, with whom will I dance?" I whispered right in front of her earhole. Without realizing, my hand slipped into her hair and I played with her hair's tip. Soft and blonde.
Historia seceded from my hug and looked at my eyes closely. Her expression was like she was thinking about something and she bit her own lower lip several times. I couldn't help myself not to kiss her. This time, she kissed me back. For a while we forgot about what we were talking about before this kiss began.
"You can wait for me after I play the cello," said her, after the kiss ended.
I put on a disappointed expression and it made her bright blue eyes looked at me sadly.
oOo
The next day, I picked up Historia by a silver SUV that belonged to my brother, Zeke. He was being kind to lend me his car and I grabbed that chance to pick up my Queen. She looked bright when she opened her house's front door, waved, and walked towards me.
"Hey, Sweetheart!" I got out of the car and leaned my body for a while after closing the door. "May I smoke for a while?" She reflexively glared and groaned. I loved to tease her.
"Eren, hurry up. My Dad is watching over us." She walked fastly and opened the car's door, then got in the car. She gave me a code to get in there quickly, turn on the engine, and get the hell out of here.
However I kept standing near my car. I shook my head, smiled, and then shook it again. Mr. Reiss still stood in front of the door and I could guarantee that he was holding himself not to throw up when he was looking at me, his future son-in-law. Thus I smiled again, looked at him, waved, and got in the car.
"He wants me to invite you to have dinner with us," said Historia while pulled a long face. "Do you want to join us?"
After I turned on the engine, I put both of my hands in the steering wheel. "Yeah, why not?" I said with a relaxed tone. He was only the Short Reiss and I wasn't afraid of him. "Is he the one who cooks for dinner?"
Historia put on the seatbelt and mumbled, "yes."
"Great, I can't wait."
We were hitting the road to Sunny High while talking about music, food, and also our parents. Time flew so fast and we finally arrived at the parking lot. We got out of the car and walked to our own class. Historia didn't want to be accompanied, but she pecked my lips. Some of the students started being noisy when they saw it and I just grinned. Then, I let her walk past me where she finally disappeared around the corner.
oOo
Two years ago, I saw her. Her golden blonde hair was in a high bun, typical of classical musician. Sometimes, her eyelids closed when she started moving the stick. She looked elegant in her black dress. That girl mesmerized everyone in that room when she played the cello. It made me fly and my body became really light. I don't even like classical music, I thought. However Historia made everyone like it.
That moment was the first time I met her. In spring, at the school theater building. Mr. Erwin Smith, Sunny High's headmaster, held a classical drama to celebrate the school's birthday. At first, I was reluctant to come, but I ended up sitting together with Jean and Marco at the audience' seat.
She sat beside the pianist, Petra Ral—our senior—and that cello leaned on her shoulder just like a spoiled little boy. I was jealous. When everyone paid attention to Romeo and Juliet's act, Historia's performance mesmerized me. Jean elbowed my arms that made me look at him with an open mouth.
"I am bored," said him. "Marco and I will leave this place. Do you want to come, Loser?" He grinned. His teeth looked brighter than his eyes.
"Yeah, I'll catch up to you later. Go first." I said that while half shooing them.
I can hear Jean's mumble vaguely about Romeo's actor that didn't look friendly and he thought that he would fit the character more than the actor. But, who cared about Romeo's grumpy face. I was only attracted to the blonde girl that played her cello solemnly. Cradled my soul, aroused my desire, and made this Asshole fell in love. Historia Reiss should be responsible for this.
Two days after the show, I was surprised that she was in the same class as me—America's Geography—and we sat side by side. She came to the class earlier than I was. She didn't tie her hair and her super blue eyes looked at me without any disgust. On the contrary, she smiled at me and made my heart beating very fast.
"I just know that we are in the same class, Eren Yeager."
I was in shock when she knew me as we were close before. Slowly I turned my head and smiled awkwardly to her. I really hoped that she didn't feel annoyed by my smile.
"Hey!" I said. "You know my name?"
"Yes, of course. Everyone knows you, right?" She reached out her handto shake mine. "My name is Historia Reiss. You often perform with your band in my best friend's cafe. I admire you."
I held Historia's pretty hand. Her skin was soft and I could smell the rose scent from her. I fell deeper than before. I wanted to pull her to my embrace, but I couldn't do that. Because a few seconds later, Mrs. Hange came and glared at us.
"Mr. Yeager and Ms. Reiss, both of you become a great couple for this task." She gave us a bitter smile. "Rove in Indiana."
oOo
Since that day, we became closer. I came to her house and vice versa. Sometimes, we met at a kind of hangout place such as Historia's best friend's, Ymir's cafe. I remembered that place because my band and I hung out at that place every Saturday night. This cafe didn't need a melancholy song, but a song that was energizing. That was why Ymir entrusted this job to my band. And unexpectedly Historia fell for my voice. She liked it—liked me.
It was started when the rainy season came. We went to a summer camp and suddenly it was raining cats and dogs. Without any prediction. The extreme wind nearly destroyed our camp. A tree fell on the river bank. We made a shelter in a log shack. She sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. She was shaking. Her voice was hoarse. She looked so fragile and wanted to cry. It was hard for me to see her and I walked towards her. Her face was pale and I couldn't help myself not to hug her. At that moment she only became my girlfriend for a week. So I had the right to do that. Thus I hugged her. I kissed the top of her head several times. She leaned her head on my chest. We felt warm and Historia didn't afraid anymore.
"You really are a gentleman, Eren." She whispered on my chest. "You are a man, not a boy and you are mine. Even though we are different, but when we aren't together, the rainbow seems colorless."
"But our love isn't because of the light reflection." I said.
She nodded, then looked up. "You are my sun."
"And you're my universe, Historia. I can't even adore another woman, besides you."
We didn't even give a damn about people around us as we kissed. This was our first kiss and it felt warm. A bottle of wine flowed through my throat and burnt my organs. I wanted her. Really. Historia made me lose my control. And finally we moved to another room. And stripped naked. I kissed her neck before we lay and became one on the bed. Our bodies were touching one to another. Becoming 'one'. That night, we released everything. And we wouldn't forget it.
oOo
I was leaning on the car body. I could see Historia was having chat with her girl friend before she walked towards me. She pecked my lips and got in the car quickly. She smiled and it made me shake my head.
"You look so happy," I said then got in the car and started driving.
"I am happy every day, aren't I? I am happy because of seeing you, Eren." She winked.
"Is it because of the dinner with your father?"
"I want both of you to be close. Both of you are the one I love."
"Listen, we are going to be close. Because, he is my father-in-law and I am his son-in-law."
She giggled and I grinned. Then, our fingers intertwined for a few seconds. I needed to focus on driving. In a few kilometers, we would arrive. The view on our left and right always felt familiar. Houses, trees, parked vehicles, and people that were doing their activities. Suddenly, I started thinking about her—Historia Reiss. It wasn't about complicated or important things. It was just a thing that could be categorized as a 'fad'. More precisely, a fad question. In these two years, I still have no idea why we were together. And at this moment, I wanted to know before the graduation day came.
"Historia, why do you love me?" We arrived in front of the Reiss' home yard. I didn't see her father in front of the door. However, the terrace lights started turning on.
She looked at me closely and smiled. "Because you make me become myself. I don't need to pretend in front of you. I feel comfortable with you, Eren." Then we got out of the car and held hands to her home.
Yes, she was right. That woman, Historia Reiss, was right in many ways. We were different. Really different. But we didn't need to become someone else when we were together. Or used a mask in front of people that we didn't like. I was still with my arbitrary attitude. I still played my favorite genre of music. Fast tempo, loud, full of screams, and ravaged the universe. Historia was still with her tenderness just like a Queen and a cello that became her charming point. We became ourselves when we were together.
oOo
Dear Historia,
Without you, the rainbow is colorless
Without you, heaven is meaningless
Without you, I am nobody
We exist to complete each other
You're my universe
Thank you for completing my incomplete life
From your Sun, EY.
The End
Erehisu Fanfiction | Attack on Titan credit to Hajime Isayama | Story: Prominensa | English Translator: everysinglething | Editor: UzumakiAni and Mizuki_anne