Baring the Epicentre
"Lover don't you wait
Lover you'll be safe
Strangest quiet in the streets
Fighters for the love dug deep
They're under paved ports
Gently lifting up a song
Falling on your ears
Falling on your ears" Hawksley Workman
"What did you think this would accomplish?" Logan asked Rogue as they stood staring at each other, only the plexi-glass windows forming a barrier between them.
Rogue wrapped her arms around her body and only shook her head, her eyes on the floor as they had been the whole time that they had continued their conversation.
"Ahm don't know. Ah jus' got so angry wit' Jono. Ah didn't think." She finally admitted after several stretched out moments of unbearable silence between them.
She turned her head and gripped her arms so tightly that Logan winced at the whiteness of her knuckles.
"Ah was hurt and confused and Ah just didn't think about what would happen next. Ah just wanted Remy back."
She whispered in such a quiet voice that Logan had to strain to hear her.
He did feel sorry for her. He knew what it was to love someone that had chosen someone other than you to spend life with. But it didn't excuse the fact that she did try to cause harm to another teammate in a place that was considered by all a safe haven.
He could understand pain, rage and jealousy. He could forgive it, but he couldn't forgive coldly premeditated murder no matter what the reason.
"You tried to kill the kid, Rogue." Logan reminded her, his voice flat as he spoke.
Rogue's head snapped up, but she didn't say anything to defend herself. Instead, she simply walked away from Logan and went to sit in a corner of the danger-room. Logan watched for several moments before he too moved away, leaving her in the room with her own thoughts.
"She's asking for you." Hank said to Gambit as the other man stood in the library, a book in his hands as he did so. Gambit only nodded his head briefly before turning to face his teammate, who was watching him carefully.
"Do you want to speak with her, Remy?" Remy looked down at the book he held and shook his head.
"Dat's a strange question, Henri." Remy commented. Although he tried to make his voice as mild and level as possible, there was still a raw edge to his words that made Hank wince.
"Not necessarily. It's a valid question in Rogue's eyes and I am simply relaying the message." Hank replied calmly.
Remy only snorted and put the book down on the nearest table before shaking his head.
"It's not fo' me, Henri. It's more of an insult, than anythin', for her to ask that of me." He replied tersely. "And de answer's no, Henri. I can't do it."
"Remy, I understand that it would be difficult to talk to her, all things considered, but couldn't you…"
Remy didn't reply verbally at Hank's words. He only gave the other man a long look before he stood up and walked to the door.
"Please, Henri. Understand. It's too much that you ask of me. I can't do it. Maybe in the past, maybe when it was jest me. But I'm not alone. Not anymore. She's gone too far. And that, I can' forgive. Or forget. Je suis desole." He whispered before giving Hank a sketchy salute and leaving the doctor alone.
-Jono lay still on the bed, his eyes shut tight against fear or pain, he wasn't sure. He wanted to come up and comfort him, but he couldn't even take a step forward. His feet felt as if they were mired in quicksand and no matter how hard he tried, he was stuck in the same place. He didn't know why it was so important for him to hurry until he saw Rogue come forward. She only cast him a cursory glance before she moved toward Jono's bed, her hands bare and outstretched as she did so.
He heard screaming and he reaching out to stop her. But it was too late. She had already placed her hand on his face and…-
Remy sat up and clutched the blankets tight in his hands, his heart thudding in his chest as he came out of the dream.
Rubbing his face, he exhaled loudly and turned to look at the other person, who had turned and was now reaching out to him.
"Wot?" was murmured before the person moved to sit up, the blankets rustling with the movements.
"Jus' a bad dream, cher." Remy answered, turning to Jono, who was now sitting close to him, his hand rubbing slow circles on his back.
"Ye sure? Ye've been havin' those dreams for awhile now." Jono pointed out, yawning widely after he had spoken.
"Oui. I'm sure, cher. It's jest..well.. y' have to admit that its been a pretty hectic couple of weeks." Remy whispered as he used his thumb to stroke Jono's face. He knew that his lover wanted him to talk, to let him know what was going on. But he didn't think it was the right time. Jono had enough to contend with and he wasn't about to add more fuel to the fire, so he took the best route he could take at that time. Distraction. By sex.
Jono simply snorted and closed his eyes, his expression showing clearly how much he was enjoying the attention Remy was giving him.
"Understatement much?" He practically purred out as Remy's hand moved lower to caress the strong jaw and full lips before it traveled down to his neck and the hollow between the two clavicles.
"What else woul' y' say, cher?" Remy asked as he lightly touched the hollow, earning a purr in return.
"Somethin' along the lines of 'It certainly went up queer-street this week, didn't it, luv?' to which I woul' expect a reply of 'Oui, cher. It certainly did.' Somethin'like that."
Remy laughed at the way that Jono mimicked his accent and swatted him lightly on the head.
"Wot was that for?" He complained, making a large show of being offended at Remy's action.
"Nothin', cher. Nothin' at all. So where were we?" Remy asked, his voice going low as his hand moved underneath the blankets, making Jono hiss sharply.
Remy smiled at the reaction and slid his hand into the warm juncture between inner thigh and groin. He kept his hand there, making Jono squirm and move closer to Remy until neither of them knew where their flesh began or ended.
"Good?" Remy asked as he began to stroke the soft flesh with slow, languorous movements that made Jono's breathing speed up. Smiling in the dark, he reached out and brushed Jono's cock with a feather touch that made the younger man let out a low moan before thrusting his groin into his lover's hand.
Remy hissed as his fingers came in contact with his lover's twitching and heated cock. Moving quickly, he cupped the throbbing flesh and squeezed and massaged the firm, yet pliable flesh until it was stiffly standing at attention.
"Remy…" Jono hissed in his mind as the older man slid down the bed, making sure that his body created as much friction as possible before he laid his head on Jono's hip.
He smiled and kissed the nearly perfect flesh before moving further inwards into Jono's groin and taking him into his mouth inch by agonizing inch.
Jono hissed and bucked upwards, wanting to have that warm enveloping feeling surrounding all of his cock and not just a few inches here and there.
"Ah, Ah, not yet, mon petit. Not yet." Remy murmured once he had pulled away and had left Jono writhing on the bed.
"Bastard." Jono hissed, trying to move away from his lover. If he was going to get teased, he might as well go and finish the job himself. He had only thought of doing that when Remy pinned him down and with a sly grin, swallowed him whole, making him gasp and instinctively jerk his hips against Remy's mouth.
"That's it, cher. That's it. Remy won' leave you wantin' Jamais." Remy whispered in the younger man's mind as he grabbed onto his hips and dug his long, artist's fingers into the marble flesh as he rolled his tongue and lapped at the underside of his cock.
Jono's only response was a loud moan as he tangled his hands into the long locks of honey brown, to pull him closer or to push him away, he wasn't sure. All he was aware of was Remy's mouth around his cock and the burgeoning need to hang on lest he was swept away into the far reaches of oblivion.
He tried to hold off, make the pleasure last and keep the oblivion at bay, but Remy was skilled at what he did and at that moment, that was bringing him release.
He bit his lip and fought the cries that were erupting from his throat unbidden before one slip of Remy's tongue made it impossible and he came in a violent gush of hot fluid that his lover tried to swallow, but failed in the end.
"'Ow ye feelin', cher?" Remy asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he crawled up to the pillows. He watched Jono as he laid there, his chest falling and rising as he slowly came back to himself.
"D' ye even need to ask, mate?" Jono asked before yawning widely and suddenly dropping off into much needed sleep.
"Non. But it's always nice to do so." Remy whispered as he pushed a tendril of hair away from the still boyish face. No matter how much he would age, Jono would always look younger than his age in his sleep.
Remy watched him sleep for several moments, a sad smile curving his mouth as he did. He knew it was an underhanded trick to pull on Jono, distracting him with sex. But he couldn't help himself. Not only had the nightmare shaken him, but the unfinished business with Rogue was a factor in that also. He knew he couldn't run or manipulate his way out of facing his problems forever, but he had only done it to buy more time to think.
And time for reflection he desperately needed if he was to make the right choice for both his sake and Jono's as well.
Charles Xavier sat at his desk with his hands folded underneath his chin as he carefully studied the scene in front of him. On the left, closer to his desk was a defiant Rogue who was mostly watching him; but occasionally darting looks at the man who stood by the window with his arms crossed and his head down. Although his posture was meant to show nonchalance, the way that the red on black eyes darted about betrayed that.
Gambit wanted out and wanted out five minutes ago.
Seeing those little clues made him settle his resolve. He had known from the start, when he had been given details of what had transpired in his absence, what he had to do about Rogue and Gambit. It was obvious that it had to be an extreme to solve the problems that had arisen between them. An extreme he didn't want to choose, but would have to if he wanted to keep both of them alive.
"Henry and Logan filled me in with what happened while I was away." Charles started in a neutral tone. "I also understand that you want to take Mr. Starsmore and leave the school, am I correct, Gambit?"
Rogue gasped at the comment and turned her head to look at Gambit, who had raised his head a fraction to look at the professor.
"Oui. Dat's what I want to do. Jono has agreed to it also."
"Remy! You can't mean that! You don't have to leave here, Sugah!" Rogue pleaded.
Gambit shook his head at her words.
"Non, Rogue. We cannot stay 'ere. Not when things stand the way they do between us." He replied, finally looking up at her for the first time since Jono had been injured.
"Remy, we can work it out. Ah promise. You don' have to leave. Not over this. Please. Ah love you. Don't leave." Rogue pleaded, her eyes going bright with unshed tears.
Charles watched, curious as to what Remy's reaction would be. He knew how deeply they loved each other and how many obstacles they had overcome, only to have it all flare out in an explosion of hurt and anger over and over again. He wondered whether Remy would listen to her, or if he would finally have enough courage to leave.
Gambit looked steadily at her for a long time, recalling every single memory that they had made together. Both the good and the bad. Examined every emotion she had brought up in him.
And made up his mind.
"Rogue, we may love each other. But we're not good for each other, chere. We have too much bad history between us. Nothin' that we do is goin' to change the fact that we're horrible lovers and only occasionally good friends. Let it go wit dignity." Gambit told her.
"No, Sugah. You've been ma life for so long. Ah can't just…"
"You've done it before, cher. In Antartica, you didn't 'ave any compunctions in leavin' me dere." Rogue's eyes widened at the comment.
"Ah came back for you! I tried to find you! And the voices…"
"I took responsibility for that cher, cause I did feel that way at that time. But ultimately, it was you who made the decision. You can be influenced, but in the end, the only one that can make the choice is you. And dat's not love Rogue. We've hurt each other too much to have anything resembling a normal relationship. Just let it go. For both of us."
"You're a cruel man, Lebeau." Gambit shook his head.
"Not cruel, chere. But realistic. I'm sorry it wasn't the answer you wanted, but it's de truth. And I at least owe you dat much. Good-bye, Anna."
Remy stood with his back to the cottage, his eyes fixed on the stormy blue-grey ocean churning itself into foam on the beach. He watched the waves and shivered at the cold drifts mercilessly cutting through his clothes. He tried to warm himself up by wrapping his shirt tighter around his body, but that only seemed to work for a little while.
He debated going back into the house, but he couldn't stand the emptiness.
So he stood still, braving the cold and watching the ocean rather than face the stillness and quiet of what sort of felt like home.
So intent was he on watching the water, marveling at how it ironically mirrored his emotions when a warm, thick sweater was draped around his shoulders. Whirling around, he gratefully smiled when he saw Jono standing behind him, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he arranged the sweater around Remy's shoulders.
"Death by contemplation is it now luv?" his lover asked, grinning at him as he re-balanced himself on the forearm crutches he now used to get around. Although Jono had regained most sensation and movement with intense physical therapy sessions, he would never walk unaided again. Although Remy had been overjoyed that Jono was able to get around without much help and he had gotten his sight back with time, he still couldn't help but to mourn what could have been if Rogue hadn't intervened.
"You've been watching the water all afternoon." Jono noted softly, not making it a question.
"I missed y', Cher. Th' house felt empty without y'." Remy replied quietly, turning away from the ocean and facing Jono.
"You regret the decision you made?" Jono asked him in a low voice before he held his breath and waited for the answer he had been dreading hearing those seven months they had been out in the Yorkshire Moors. Although it was more or less home for him, he knew that Remy missed his native soil deeply. Exile from New Orleans had been bad enough, and he knew that even another exile would have been an even bitterer pill to swallow. But he had never complained. Nor had he ever told him anything else of the decision he had made that day the professor called him and Rogue into his office. Things had just occurred after that. Remy packing them up, moving them to the somewhat isolated English countryside, arranging for his therapy and the cottage while he followed.
Remy's mouth trembled before he looked sharply at Jono.
"Just because I miss my 'ome once in a while cher doesn't mean I want to throw what I hold dear away. I knew that we would have to go somewhere else to have freedom. I never once doubted that would be the price I would have to pay."
"Then why d'ye watch the water like ye want to swim away from here?"
"I don'. I wouldn't go anywhere withou' you, homme. Never forget dat."
"Then why do ye watch it?"
"To mourn. To remind myself dat even though I'm hurtin', I still 'ave you and life will still flow."
"No lyin'?"
Remy shook his head as he then wrapped his arms around Jono.
"None, mon Coeur. None."
"I love you, you know?"
"Always 'ave, Cher. Always have."
End.