Summary: Sometimes, watching your youngest brother die is pretty terrifying. And sometimes, all you need is reassurance. (Set after the Usagi arc.)
"I got him!" Mikey yelled, swinging his nunchucks at Jei. The wolf laughed as he dodged every single hit Mikey gave before hitting him with the blunt end of his spear. The turtle staggered back and glared, ready to attack once more. He ran forward, nunchucks already spinning as he moved, but-
The spear went right through him.
Mikey's eyes widened as he felt intense pain shoot right through him and as he heard his name called ('Raph? Is that you?'), his eyes closed as he rolled down the hill, pushed aside as Jei brought his spear out. He finally stopped rolling as his body landed on the bottom of the hill.
Dead.
Leo, Donnie, and Raph were all wide eyed as they watched their baby brother die right in front of them. No no no no no no. They just lost their father, they can't do this, not again, not so soon-
Raph yelled, filled with fury, and recklessly ran forward, sai's posed to pierce Jei right through the heart as a price for killing his brother. Jei suddenly shot out flames and Raoh wasn't ready to dodge. It hit him, engulfing him and forcing him to fall of the mountain. Leo and Donnie watched in horror as their brother fell, landing and hitting a rock head first and staying there, not groaning or moving.
Dead.
"No." Leo whispers before Jei appears right behind him, hitting him with his spear and sending him rolling down the hill as well.
Donnie recovers from the hit and brings the blade from his staff out. He starts running towards Jei but is forced to stop as Jei lifts him from the ground.
Talk about Déjà vu…
"You cannot fathom the power of Jei." Jei's hand closes and Donnie feels as if he's being crushed by an invisible force and suddenly he's out, the bo staff falling from his hands. He falls down as Jei releases him, hitting each and every rock he could as he fell. He lands behind Mikey and Leo.
Dead.
Leo raises his head and sees his brothers not breathing or moving or even grunting.
Dead.
"No." He sees Mikey's wound and oh God it's so bloody-
"No." He sees Raph's and Donnie's bodies as well. He raises his head to the sky and screams-
"No!" His voice echoes around him and he is swallowed by grief as he holds his baby brother's body and cries.
"No!" Leo yells, immediately sitting up straight before falling out of his bed and landing on the floor hard. He quickly stood up and scanned his room, expecting to suddenly see his brothers on the floor again, dead. Nothing.
'It's just a nightmare.'
Leo sits on his bed and sighs, hands on his head. It was a whole week since they had faced Jei. A whole week since they had helped Usagi get Kintaro to the temple. A whole week since he had seen his brothers dead. It was so terrifying and if it was the real deal-
"No. No it isn't. It will never be." Leo mutters as the small frown on his face widens. It wasn't real, no matter what anyone says. And Leo was okay with that. He would be okay a little more if unwanted memories stopped coming back too.
His father was falling. Falling from that high building. No one could stop it. No matter how fast he ran, no matter how much he hoped, it was pointless. They were all too late. Their father was dead and the blood, so much blood-
Leo ran next to his father, no longer watching as April sent the Shredder- no, that monster- falling down the building and landing inside a garbage truck. Casey had activated it and had left the Shredder to his fate.
Leo had cried so much that day, especially because he knew that there was nothing they could do to change it now. No jokes or mysterious robots from Space sending them back six months into the past. No nothing. All they could do was bury their father and take down the monster that had taken his life. The end. That was it.
And yet, it wasn't.
The Shredder was brought back from the dead, a demon had nearly killed Mikey if not for the seal he had held, the world could have nearly ended for the hundredth time if not for the fact that Mikey had managed to figure out how to repair the seal, command a demon from another world, and basically send the dead back into their graves.
And then, their father had appeared.
As a ghost, yes, but still there. They had bid goodbye to him as he left, even when Leo could see that they didn't want him to go. As their father disappeared one last time, Leo had felt a tear get soaked by his mask, the same one his father had given to him so long ago.
Ever since the day Master Splinter had died, Leo's biggest fear had become losing another loved one die, especially if he had seen it with his own two eyes. And really, watching his brothers die one by one right in front of him was a pretty easy way to bring all the memories he had forced to the back of his head to come pouring out, slowly but steadily.
Mikey getting stabbed, the spear going right through him. Mikey falling-
-Raph falling from the mountain, hitting his head on the rocks below it-
-Donnie being lifted into the sky, being crushed as he let out one last yelp of pain. His head repeatedly hitting rocks as he fell from a place that was higher, higher than all of them-
-Master Splinter, their father, their own father, bleeding out as Leo held him close, the blood staining the wrappings on his hands-
-and it's too much. Too much. He couldn't handle it anymore. There was too much happening. He was a sensei, he had to keep his brothers out of danger, he had to make sure nothing bad happens-
-and he had failed to do all of the above.
His thoughts were scrambled, each one screaming at him, blaming him for being a failure and failing to protect his only family. Sometimes, he really wished his head would shut up at these times. It was probably too early for this.
Suddenly, Leo's door slowly opens and a small voice comes out. "Hey."
Leo looks up to see Mikey looking at him through the door, a small smile on his face. "You okay dude?"
Yup, too early for this.
"Uh, it's nothing Mikey. I'll be fine." Leo says, shrugging as he did. But that only earned a frown and narrowed eyes from Mikey that said 'I know you're lying."
"Bro, you are so lying." Mikey says as he enters the room and sits beside Leo, his tone very serious. "Your eyes are red, have you been crying or something?"
Oh. Yeah. Leo only noticed the tears that had soaked his mask, making it a darker shade of blue. Leo rubbed at his eyes, as if it would help hide the redness.
Mikey held Leo's arm and put it down, staring at him with a concerned expression. "We're worried, Leo." Mikey says softly, his expression softening as he continued to look at Leo. "You've been like this ever since we got back from Usagi's world. And as far as I can see, you are definitely not fine."
Leo sighed again, finally lowering his defenses and lowering his shoulders. "I know. It's just, ever since that whole nightmare thing Jei did, it's just…" Leo stops talking as Mikey's expression shifts into understanding.
"Dude, you do know it was just a nightmare, right?" Mikey said, placing his hand on Leo's shoulder as his expression turned into worry. "You know, as in, not real. We're still alive and we're fine and I know that saying stuff won't really change your thoughts really quick, but at least you know."
At this point, Leo's hands are shaking as he struggled not to let his emotions out. If he was going to be honest, Mikey's death was the worst. For one, he was the youngest and as the eldest brother, he was protective over him. Second, his death seemed to, in a way, last the longest. The spear had stayed inside Mikey for a while while his Donnie and Raph's were somewhat quicker. And the blood, no matter how many times he had thought of it, was the worst thing even when it was compared to the cracks Mikey's plastron had had when Leo had seen his dead body and-
"Leo. Hey, Leo. Dude, you're spacing out and you're, like, hyperventilating or something. Breathe." Mikey said as he gently shook Leo. It only worked a little though, as Leo managed to focus on Mikey's eyes. Mikey sighed. "Alright, if you're not gonna calm down on your own, then I'll do it."
Mikey suddenly grabs Leo's hand and before Leo can ask what on Earth is happening-
Leo's hand is brought right on Mikey's plastron, right where the heart should be.
It's faint, considering the fact that their shells were pretty thick in order to protect them, but Leo hears it.
Lub dub…Lub dub…Lub dub…
It's Mikey's heart, beating in a calm manner.
Leo feels himself start to calm down a little and he looks up to Mikey's face. It had a small smile on it as Mikey continued to let Leo hear his heart beating. "See? I'm fine. My hearts beating, there's blood going around my body, I'm strong enough to hold your hand up. In fact, I'm feeling awesome, so stop giving me that look that says 'you're not real.', okay?"
Leo nods before letting out a quick "Okay." come. Mikey smiles and says "Follow me." before leading Leo out of his room and to the couch waiting for them.
Leo blinks.
Raph and Donnie are awkwardly sitting on the couch, sleepily leaning on to each other. Looks like Leo wasn't the only one having nightmares. Both Raph's and Donnie's eyes seem sunken, possibly from lack of sleep.
As Mikey makes it to the couch, Raph and Donnie catch sight of them. Raph smirks as Mikey orders Leo to sit on the couch and leaves the three of them together.
"So, rough night?" Raph asks.
"Yup." Leo says. "Same nightmare?" He asks both Raph and Donnie.
They both nod and all the tension in the room seems to be a little thicker.
"It was just…" Donnie starts, putting his hands together. "…so real, you know? One moment, he's just standing there trying to get to Jei, then he's suddenly he's rolling down the hill."
"Yeah." Raph says, a frown replacing the smirk on his face. "I was so mad. That monster killed him like it was nothing and he was laughing while he did it. I didn't know what to do."
The three brothers stayed in silence right after that, a silent agreement on what Raph said. Mikey made it back to the couch, balancing pillows and blankets on his hands before dropping them right on top of his brothers.
Mikey rearranges all the blankets and pillows and the end result is all four brothers huddled together on the couch, pillows all around them and blankets as well. Mikey is in the center as Leo, Donnie, and Raph insisted him to.
"Isn't this awesome, guys? We're all here. Alive." Mikey emphasizes the last word with a huge smile to remind his brothers that their alright. That he's alright and that everything would be okay.
"Hold on a minute, Mikey." Raph says, adjusting himself to fit inside the bundle of blankets more comfortably. "How are you feeling?"
The smile on Mikey's face slips for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"What I mean is when I woke up from that whole nightmare thing, you were screaming." Raph says and Leo and Donnie's eyes widen. "What's with that?"
Mikey looks as if he's about to give an excuse, but the look his brothers were giving him seemed to let that thought die down.
Mikey looks down and scoots even closer to Raph, leaning on him for comfort. Raph puts an arm around him, assuring him that it's okay.
"Well, you know how I died first?" Everyone seems to stiffen a little but nods anyway. "After I woke up, I may or may not have thought that you guys were dead."
The three older brothers look at each other and then back at Mikey. "What do you mean you thought we were dead?" Donnie asks.
"I woke up and you guys weren't moving, even when I shook all of you. I-I thought th-that meant that you were d-dead and I was so sc-scared and what if you weren't alive? And you weren't breathing and I thought that meant I was actually alone now and I started panicking and then I started screaming and-"
"Mikey. Mikey calm down." Leo says, reaching for his brother's hand and squeezing it. "It's okay. We're here too and we won't be leaving anytime soon, I promise."
Donnie and Raph both nod in unison and they all start to squeeze around Mikey, creating a protective circle around him. "I was just really scared." Is all Mikey says as he snuggles closer to his blanket. "But not as much anymore since, you know, you're all still here and all. I don't know."
They know this routine. The whole 'play it off' game that Mikey seemed to adore. They won't allow it though. Not today.
"Mikey, listen. We were scared too, and that's pretty obvious since we all are here. And it's okay that you're feeling like that. It's a normal thing. So please, don't act like it's nothing." Donnie says, smiling at Mikey.
"We're here for you, little brother." Raph says, letting his own small smile through.
"We'll be here. Promise." Leo says and a silent agreement goes through.
Mikey lets a small smile appear on his face as his eyes start to close. "And that…is why…you're all really…really awesome...even if it's cheesy."
And just like that, Mikey was asleep. Raph rolls his eyes as he follows suit. Donnie smirks as he lets himself fall asleep as well.
Leo looks at his three brothers and wonders how they were comfortable, especially since they were all in an uncomfortable position.
But that was the least of his problems, since he was falling asleep as well. Oh well, he'll deal with it later.
Leo sleeps and wakes up the next day without a nightmare in sight. And he's pretty damn pleased about it.