Title: Dealing
Author: Asanisan
Rating: M
Summary: Warning: learning about Botan may lead to adventure.
Dealing
Chapter 1: Another Day
"Mukuro-sama!" called the blue-haired flying wonder as she fell out of the sky.
It never ceased to amaze Mukuro how the bubbly girl could smile so brightly all the time. If the two of them had not had history, the girl probably would have annoyed her with all the sickening cheer. However, Botan and Mukuro had a long relationship and she knew that Reikai's top fairy girl was only happy half of the time she smiled, and that was only because the girl could find some happiness in the smallest, most trivial things. For example, Mukuro could tell the girl was happy just to see her again. Who in their right mind would be happy to see one of the former demon lords? But the two of them had history. Botan was one of the few people in the three worlds who understood her, knew her past, and still liked to talk to her. It was why Mukuro liked the crazy, blue-headed ditz.
"Mukuro-sama!" Botan exclaimed happily, a smile brightening her face.
The girl landed gracefully on the walkway. The oar she was riding soon disappeared and was quickly replaced by an old box of tea, some of the best Reikai had to offer. Botan bowed respectfully to the demon and held out the box.
"I've brought some good tea, Mukuro-sama. I was hoping we could talk," she said as she continued to bow.
"Don't bow to me, baka shojo," Mukuro said coldly.
"Hai, Mukuro-sama," the girl smiled. "Oh, I also have some reports from Koenma, but they're not important. Did you want to talk out here?"
Mukuro chuckled as the girl practically vibrated with excitement. She was flattered the girl would be so eager just to talk to her.
"We'll go inside. I've had my fill of this wet air."
"It is rather muggy out here today. Has that been happening a lot lately," the girl asked, looking around at her curiously.
Mukuro sighed. "No. There was a puffer demon in the swamps not far from here. He decided to cause some trouble and blow the mist this way. It won't last long. I've already sent my men to take care of it."
"Oh, my, you won't kill him will you?"
Mukuro turned her one eye to glare at the ferry woman.
"It's just that I don't want to ferry another soul today," she explained with a smile. "Koenma said if I work anymore overtime, he'd have to order me to take a vacation. It sounds like he was joking, but he was really angry when he said it."
"So," Mukuro said with amusement as she led her friend into her moving castle, "Reikai punishes you for doing your job well?"
"Oh, it's not like that," the girl was quick to defend. "It's just that I've got a couple hundred years worth of vacation racked up. Koenma's just worried I'll bail on him."
"I see."
Botan chatted on about work while they walked. Mukuro knew the girl well enough to know that only a comment here or there was enough to keep her pleased. She didn't mind the mindless rambles so much. It was a refreshing change from the usual silent hallways. They reached Mukuro's own private study soon enough. The tea was waiting for them, already sent ahead and prepared by a lackey.
Just as she expected, Botan calmed down after a few sips of tea. The two of them dwindled into silence as Botan became lost in her thoughts.
"What did you want to talk about Botan?" Mukuro asked, finally breaking the silence at the look of worry in the girl's eyes.
"Hiei is back in Ningenkai."
"Is that where he went?" Mukuro asked carelessly.
"Did something happen between you two?" The worry in Botan's eyes was shining full force.
"We have a difference in views. That is all."
"You're not going to tell me more?"
Mukuro sighed. It was a rather sore subject with her. Not because was ashamed, but because her pride was still smarting from the blow it had taken. But Botan could be trusted.
"I asked him to be my mate."
Botan nearly burst with happiness. "You did?! Mukuro-sama, that's wonderful! Then there'll be little Mukuros and Hieis running around all over the place! Can I baby-sit? I've always wondered what a little Hiei would….wait. Why is Hiei in Ningenkai then?"
The poor girl looked utterly confused.
"He did not want to be my mate, Botan. I told him it would open new doors for him, but he still refused me."
"He refused you? That's a little unbelievable, Mukuro-sama. Why wouldn't he want to mate with you?"
"Apparently he does not think that simple benefits are enough reason to mate. He said he'd kill me before he looked at me in that light."
"That's an awful thing to say! He'll be getting a piece of my mind when I get back there! This is a terrible turn of events," she said sadly.
"What a waste. After all that pushing I did, too," the girl mumbled to herself.
"Excuse me?"
"Well, it's just that you two seemed so right for each other, Mukuro-sama. You two should be able to understand each other so well. If there was anyone he could fit with, it would have been you."
Mukuro chuckled at her romantic views. Botan was extremely refreshing from the usual demon mentality.
"Sometimes, it takes more than what seems to fit right or go together, shojo. You should know this."
"I do," she said with pleading eyes that asked for understanding. "I just don't understand how he could turn you down. I know he loves you. He loves you as much as he loves Yukina."
"Maybe that is the problem."
So Hiei thought of Mukuro as another sister. Botan frowned and took another sip of her tea. Mukuro watched with amusement as the girl's eyes flickered with anger and disappointment.
"He can be so troublesome! But I know he's still your friend, Mukuro-sama. I just don't know why he would run away to Ningenkai like that. It's not a very Hiei-like thing to do."
"He didn't run. I kicked him out."
"What?! But why?" Botan asked. Her voice sounded hurt, as Mukuro had kicked her out instead of the youkai. The girl really was far too sympathetic, much to Mukuro's amusement.
"You never asked why I asked him to mate with me. Did it not seem strange that I, an ancient youkai, would suddenly choose a mate?"
Botan frowned. "Okay, why did you ask him to be your mate then?"
"He is stronger than I am, now," she said nonchalantly, enjoying the girl's wide-eyed expression. "It was either mate with him or he will eventually kill me."
"Hiei would never kill you," the girl said quietly and reassuringly.
"Maybe and maybe not. Maybe you are right. I should not have been surprised when he did not attack me after he refused my offer. He never was a man that wanted status and position. Only power. However, he is still my heir. That will not change. Tell him that as well when you give him a piece of your mind."
"I will," she said with determination.
Mukuro chuckled again and rose from her chair, Botan following.
"I have matters to attend to, Botan. Thank you for the tea."
"Anytime, Mukuro-sama. Oh! And here are the reports from Koenma," the girl said, holding out a bunch of folders for her to take.
After the folders were in Mukuro's hands, Botan bowed again and bid her farewell.
As the girl was walking out of the study, Mukuro stopped her.
"Oh, and Botan," she called.
The girl turned around with a questioning face.
"Don't wait another seven years to talk to me again," Mukuro ordered.
"Hai, Mukuro-sama!"
Mukuro smiled at the energetic girl.
"Now go."
And she was gone, leaving Mukuro with her tea and a stack of reports to skim.
Hiei was pleased with his afternoon. He had trained for a couple of hours and now he was sleeping in his favorite tree. His dreams were filled with beheaded demons with Kuwabara's face and a Yukina who admired him for slaying the wretched beasts. Life couldn't get much better.
His dreams were sadly cut short however, as something hard and flat hit head. He was dazed and before he could fully recover from the startling awakening, he was hit in his shoulder, causing him to fall out of the tree.
"You're such a jerk! How could you do that to Mukuro-sama?! That's really low. Lower than low!"
He was on the forest floor, but now there was an onslaught of whacks from what he now saw to be an oar.
"Onna?!"
"I don't care if you do kill me. You deserve every hit! Stupid bastard!"
With one last hit to his head that sent his world spinning, she was up in the air, a portal ready for her escape.
"And she told me to tell you you're still her heir, you ass!"
And in less than a blink she was gone. Hiei could only stare at the airspace she had been occupying in confusion. He brought a hand up to message his tender cranium.
Had the baka onna just tried to beat the living shit out of him? The splitting headache he had told him yes, she had tried to beat the shit out of him. And then the baka onna ran away. She was so dead when the next time he saw her. And how the hell did she know Mukuro?
"Botan, report to my office, ASAP!"
Koenma's voice rang out over the intercom for all of Reikai to hear.
"Now what could be up with that?" asked Botan wistfully.
She was talking with Ayame in the break room, doing a fine job of settling her nerves down after giving Hiei a beat down. Not that it would have hurt him or anything, but she was sure he was angrier than a hornet's nest. At least he hadn't rushed to Reikai to kill her on the spot. She was almost disappointed he hadn't. Now, she was subject to Koenma's beck and call. She would rather stay here with Ayame and the interesting conversation on Mukuro and Hiei's falling out.
"I'm sure I have no idea what the fuss is about," stated Ayame in her usual matter-of-fact tone.
"But, Ayame! You're Top Ferry Girl of the Intelligence Department! How can you not know?"
"Botan," chuckled Ayame, "being Top Ferry Girl of I.D. doesn't make me omniscient."
"Well, when you put it that way, no, I suppose it doesn't," said Botan with a thoughtful expression.
"BOTAN!" Koenma screamed again over the intercom.
"My, he certainly is anxious," Botan frowned a bit.
"Yes, you better go see what he wants before he sends George looking for you again," Ayame said with a small smile.
"Right. Talk to you later, Ayame!" Botan flashed Ayame her infamous bubbly grin as she headed out the door. The usual daily runners occupied the hall. Ferry girls and ogres rushed through, delivering this paperwork here or that file there. Botan could maneuver through the chaos with ease, but thankfully she didn't have to put up with it for long. Koenma's office wasn't far from the break room. 'Thank goodness for small favors,' was Botan's only thought as she was almost trampled by a particularly clumsy ogre.
"Sorry, Botan-san," he apologized, but was zipping down the hall again before she could even reply.
"Don't worry about it," she replied anyway.
When she reached Koenma's office doors, she didn't bother to knock. If he wanted to see her so badly, he shouldn't mind her barging in. She found Koenma sitting at his desk, avidly reading a file on top. 'All that fuss and when I get here, he's preoccupied. Figures,' Botan thought as she walked up to Koenma.
"Botan, that better be you," he warned without looking up.
"Hai, Koenma-sama. You wanted to see me about something?" asked Botan in her cheeriest, most disarming voice.
"Botan! What part of ASAP don't you understand?" questioned the hundred-year-old toddler, finally looking up.
"In all fairness, sir, you never said which office to got to," she pointed out. "You could have meant the Operations office for all I know."
"I…uh…argh! Don't play coy with me, Botan. It won't work!"
'Could have fooled me,' she thought while smiling at her boss sweetly.
"Heh, heh…sorry, sir," said Botan as she scratched the back of her head guiltily. "What did you need to see me about again?"
"You all have another mission. It's a simple search and destroy, so it shouldn't take long. However, it needs to be done as soon as you can manage. Here's the file," offered Koenma, handing her the file he had just been reading. "Gather Yusuke and the others right away."
"Aye-aye, Koenma-sama," said Botan with a mock salute. "Oh, and Koenma-sama…"
"Yes, Botan?"
"Can I have the Friday off? You see, I need to shop for Christmas presents for everyone, seeing how it is just one week away."
"Sure, Botan. You've earned a little vacation time."
"Really, Koenma-sama? Oh, thank you!" she joyfully exclaimed and gave Koenma a big hug.
"Okay, okay," said a flustered ruler of Reikai as he tried to push her away. "Now go get started on that mission."
"Yes, sir! Right away!" Botan said as she finally let go. With her happiness fueling her, she was out the door in two seconds flat.
Just then, a very ruffled looking blue ogre walked in, carrying a large stack of paperwork.
"Koenma-sama, I almost just got ran over buy a pink and blue blur, sir. I think it was Botan," said a very worried George. "I think I heard her yell something about Christmas shopping."
Koenma let out a long, suffering sigh. "That girl has more speed than a bat out of hell. Don't worry, Ogre. There's only one group that she could be buying Christmas presents for. After all, no one in Reikai is that stupid. Poor Yusuke and Co. They know not what terror awaits them," said Koenma in a downcast manner.
"Well, back to work," he said with a shrug as he turned his attention to the stack of paperwork George had just brought him.
"Yusuke!"
Yusuke was on his way home from that peculiar institution known as school when someone yelled his name out of the blue. 'But the street's empty,' he thought as he turned to see who had called him. He looked to the left. He looked to the right. Nothing.
"Now, that's just weird."
"Yusuke!"
This time he located the source. He looked up just in time to see a girl with blue hair wearing a pink kimono float down from the sky by means of an oar.
"Well, hey, Botan," greeted Yusuke as she stepped down onto the ground with a huge grin on her face. "Haven't seen you in a while. I mean what was it, yesterday!" asked Yusuke in annoyance. "Does the toddler have another stupid mission for us?"
He had hoped to retire from all this Reikai Tantei business after the tournament, but that was before Koenma started paying a handsome salary.
"Bingo, bingo, bingo," Botan said, not letting Yusuke's sour mood affect her own. "But don't worry. It's an easy one. And it's nice to see you, too," she pouted.
"Yeah, yeah. Nice to see ya. So, you gonna tell me what this mission is?"
"Nope. Koenma-sama wanted all the Reikai Tantei on this one. We're meeting at Kurama's. Kuwabara is on his way now. I'll tell everyone there so I don't have to repeat myself."
"Aw, Botan! I just came from that direction. Couldn't you have told me this before I passed by Kurama's street?" Yusuke whined.
"Well, if you kept your communication mirror on like the others, then you would have known to go straight there, now wouldn't you?" she scolded.
"Oh, yeah…heh, heh. I never can remember to turn it on," Yusuke scratched the back of his haed with a guilty look in his face.
"Oh, Yusuke," laughed Botan. "Whatever are we going to do with you? I would have expected something like that from Kuwabara."
"Hey, don't put me on his level!" said an outraged Yusuke. Botan just laughed at him.
"Whatever, Yusuke. Just get to Kurama's. I'll be there soon. I have to go find Hiei first. He doesn't keep his communication mirror on either," said Botan with as exhausted look.
Now it was Yusuke's turn to laugh. And laugh he did.
"Ha, ha, ha…you gotta go get Mr. Grumpy-pants. Ahah, ha, ha!"
"Yeah, yeah," said Botan as she remounted her oar. "See you in a while, Yusuke."
"See ya."
And with that, she was off. Yusuke watched until she had flown out of sight.
"Heh, heh. Poor Botan," he laughed again. He was in a good mood now, despite having yet another mission.
'That crazy girl always finds a way to get me in a better mood after it's been shot to hell by another mission. Maybe that's why she's Koenma's top ferry girl. I bet she could even cheer up Hiei if she put her mind to it. Hmmm,' pondered Yusuke. 'Well, maybe not. For such a little guy, he sure does have quite a big stick shoved up his ass.'
"Whatever. I guess it's back to Kurama's," he sighed.
And with that, Yusuke started down the street back the way he came. Although, this time, he had a decidedly lighter step.
'Hmm…now, where could that sardonic little fire demon be?' thought Botan as she floated toward the park first.
'Well, duh, Botan! You just found him in a tree not too long ago, so obviously he's in a tree.'
'Yes, but which tree? Hmm…'
'Oh, no. I'm answering my own questions again. Inner monologues are great. No one can hear you talk to yourself. Or is it think to yourself? Well, whichever it is, it wastes time. I mean, here I am answering my own questions when I could have just thought, "Oh, he'll be in a tree. Now I just have to find which one." That would have been so much easier. If you talk to yourself, does that mean there are two identities inside you. Or does it merely mean that you take your thoughts one step at a time? Oh, it's so confusing. But the only way to find out the truth is to find a way to somehow separate the components of the psyche. Seeing how that is quite impossible to do, the answer will forever elude the knowledge of this plane of existence. Ah, one of the great mysteries of life: does talking to yourself require two different people? Oh dear Koenma's father, I do believe I'm rambling. I really have to stop doing that. I mean, it serves no purpose other than to… Oh! There's Hiei! Finally!" Botan was interrupted from her thoughts by the sight of a black figure resting on the branch of a nearby tree.
She glided down to the limb Hiei was sleeping on, glad to have found him at long last.
"Oh, he's still asleep! Is that all he does every day? Well, he can't stay asleep. We have a mission. But just how to wake him up?"
"Hmm…" pondered Botan. Then her face lit with a very mischievous grin as she thought of the perfect way to wake him up.
She moved in closer for the kill and extended her right hand toward Hiei, all the while alert for any sign of wakefulness on his part. But alas, the poor, unsuspecting youkai still seemed dead to the world, a fact that only increased Botan's mischievous look. Her hand inched slowly toward Hiei's prone form.
'Closer…closer…just a little bit closer…'
Poke.
Hiei didn't even stir from the prod to his arm.
"Hah, ha," laughed Botan. "Okay, that was fun. I got away with poking Hiei! But now it's time to wake up, Hiei."
She lightly poked him again.
Poke. Poke.
"Hiei," sang Botan.
Still no reaction from the half-koorime.
Botan poked a little more forcefully this time.
Poke. Poke. Poke.
"Okay, Hiei. Come on and wake up!"
He didn't even flinch. Botan was starting to get irritated.
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
"Hiei! Wake up!"
"Urgh…" When her little poke session still elicited no response, Botan went into a poking frenzy. She poked his head, his thighs, his arms, his shoulders, his chest, his stomach, flitting from this side to that side and back again, until she finally ran out of steam. Hiei still seemed to dream on with no hint that he had felt any of it. The only indication that he was still alive was the steady rise and fall of his chest.
'And I poked hard, too. Stupid youkai strength. Well, this is getting me nowhere. And I always thought that he would be a light sleeper, what with that fighter instinct and all…"
"Hmm. Oh! What about…" Botan trailed as she again proceeded to inch her hand toward Hiei. However, she forgot to watch him for wakefulness.
'The ribs…' thought a totally enraptured Botan.
'Closer…closer…just a little bit…'
Before she could finish the thought, a clawed hand caught her wrist just two inches away from its goal.
'Uh-oh,' she thought. Still staring at her now captured wrist, she ever so slowly gazed upward to Hiei's wide-awake, crimson eyes.
A look of shock and trepidation crossed her face, but was quickly replaced by a cheerful smile.
"Ohayou, Hiei. Did you sleep well?"
"Hn. What are you doing baka onna?" Hiei asked in his usual monotone.
Botan glanced back to her still ensnared hand.
"Oh. Eheh. I thought I saw a mosquito," Botan lied quickly with a nervous grin. "I was going to shoo it away. Heh."
"Hn," he glared at her, seeing through the lie.
Botan knew she was caught so she rapidly tried to change the subject.
"Wow, Hiei. Did you know that you're a really heavy sleeper?"
"Baka onna. I am not a heavy sleeper."
"Yes, you are," said Botan matter-of-factly.
"No, I'm not, kato onna no baka," stated Hiei, knowing Botan would take offense. For some unknown reason, he just loved to piss her off, most likely because it got that idiot grin off her face. He was also setting a trap for the poor ferry woman.
"Yes, you are!" exclaimed a peeved Botan. 'Think you can get away with calling me a baka. Hah! You are so a heavy sleeper and I can prove it,' she thought with a triumphant grin.
"I have experience to back me up," she said with her grin still in place. " I must've poked you like…" she paused to count, her grin fading a bit for a more thoughtful expression.
"Fifty times? Yes!" she exclaimed with an accusing point at Hiei, grin back in place. "Fifty times before you …actually…" Botan trailed off as she realized exactly what she had said, a look of horror on her face. 'Oh.no. Surely I haven't done it again. Surely I haven't opened my big mouth again. Oh, Kami-sama…'
She slowly looked up to Hiei's evilly smirking face, confirming her fears.
"Oops…"
"Fifty times, was it onna?" he asked menacingly as he got up, presumably to unsheathe his katana.
'Damage control, Botan. Damage control. Think! Oh! Try the cat face! It always works!'
"Heh, heh…oh, no, Hiei. Just a little joke," Botan explained with the cutest cat face she could muster. "Not a very good one, I see. I mean, c'mon! Would a baka onna like me be so bold as to do such a thing to the almighty Hiei?"
'That's it, Botan, ol' girl! Flattery will get you everywhere!'
"Flattery will get you nowhere," Hiei told her. There was no way she was going to squirm her way out with that stupid grin.
"I was awake the whole time kato onna no baka. You cannot fool me!" announced Hiei as he went for his katana. "And you shouldn't have tried. Now you will pay with blood."
"Uh…"Botan stuttered as she fearfully started to back away. "N-now, Hiei. Let's not be too hasty. I…wait. You were awake the whole time?!" yelled a now very angry Botan, fear forgotten.
This outburst stopped Hiei in his tracks, katana only halfway unsheathed.
"You knew this would happen all along, didn't you?!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Hiei could only blink and stare at the raving woman in front of him with a slightly stunned expression.
"You planned it from the very start. You just wanted an excuse to hurt me, didn't you?!" Botan was now almost back to where she had started before Hiei pulled the katana on her, finger pointing accusingly at the still stunned hi youkai.
"You cocky, arrogant, sadistic, son of a…"
B-ring. B-riiiing.
She was stopped mid-sentence as she and Hiei both looked down in confusion at Botan's now ringing sleeve, the one she kept her communication mirror in.
B-ring. B-riiiiiiing.
The second ring snapped Botan back into order and she rushed to answer it.
"Botan here."
"Botan! We've been waiting here for you for over half an hour," cried Yusuke's annoyed voice. "Just what the hell are you doing?"
"Oh! Sorry, Yusuke!" said a guilty looking Botan to the small image of Yusuke on the screen where the mirror should have been. "It wasn't anything important. I have Hiei with me now. We'll be there right away!"
Botan had her usual cheery attitude back in place, the previous argument already put to the back of her mind.
"Alright. Well, just hurry up, okay?"
"Yes, sir," said Botan with a mock salute as they both hung up.
"C'mon, Hiei. Let's go!" Botan ordered with a determined look as she grabbed Hiei, placed him behind her on the oar, and shot off through the trees quick as a whip.
The poor, little half-koorime known as Hiei could only hang on for dear life to the flimsy piece of wood as they raced past the canopy and into the clouds, making a beeline for Kurama's.
Halfway there, Botan realized something.
"Oh! Yusuke used his communication mirror! Yay Yusuke!" cheered Botan.
The now slightly more relaxed and ever blank-faced Hiei was not impressed.
"Hn. Baka tantei."
"Achoo!"
"Ha, ha. Hey, man. Someone just dissed you!" laughed a bored Kuwabara.
"Hmm…"sniffed Yusuke. He then hit the pea-brained carrot-top upside the head.
"Ow! What was that for Urameshi!"
"For being a baka, you baka!"
Kurama just chuckled quietly at the two's childish antics.
"Now maybe he'll learn not to turn it off all the time," mused Botan.
"Hn. Do you really believe that, onna?"
Botan turned back to look at him when she spoke to him.
"One can only hope!" she happily exclaimed, giving him a big, toothy grin.
Hiei just rolled his eyes at her and looked the other way.
"Hn. Baka onna."
Translations
Baka- idiot, moron, stupid, etc.
Hi- fire
Kami-sama- God
Katana- sword
Kato onna- ferry woman
Koorime- ice maiden (calling Hiei this is actually kind of funny)
Ohayou- good morning
Onna- woman
Reikai-spirit world
-sama- an honorific comparable to Lord or Lady
-san- an honorific comparable to Ms. or Mr.
Youkai- demon
Notes
On 'that peculiar institution known as school': In the earlier years of the United States (about the time of the Constitution) slavery was referred to as a peculiar institution. I was trying to make a metaphor, comparing school to slavery. That's just how I think Yusuke thinks it; it's not my personal opinion. I was just trying to be clever (which almost never works out) and I hope I didn't confuse anyone.
On the sneezing: Yusule sneezed because Botan and Hiei were talking about him behind his back and Hiei insulted him. It's a Japanese myth. If you sneeze for no reason, someone's talking about you.
Disclaimer
I hereby relinquish all rights to Yu Yu Hakusho plot, characters, and overall being. Any characters other than those are my property if they are not disclaimer at a later time. This applies to my whole fiction story.
Author Note
I don't normally write these. First, I would like to address translations. Unless I receive reviews that ask otherwise (even if it is just one), I will not include them in further chapters. The first one comes standard though.
I have done some major editing on this fic. I started writing it years ago and reading over it again like this, I realize it was utter crap. Thankfully, I now have more maturity as a writer and I can make it even better than before. For those of you reading this for the first time, I'm glad you couldn't see my poor writing style from years back. For those of you who are re-reading, I hope you like this version better.
Sani