Tomoyo was outside in the pouring rain, sitting on a swing, pondering on how things came to be like this. Her life used to be perfect. Used to be…Now it was all a mess. Her mask was returned to its rightful place on her porcelain face. It was once again put to use, fooling all those into thinking Tomoyo Daidouji was still the happy, joyful girl she was in Year 6. But they were wrong. What they saw was a mask, just a disguise of the pain she went through and the despair in her life. It was in Year 7, when everything fell apart. Everyone was gone… Sakura was with her one and her only beloved…Syaoran. They had moved to Hong Kong under the order of the Elders.
:Flashback+
"Tomoyo-chan! I'm going to miss you so much! I'll try to write as much as I can and you have to visit! We'll come and visit you if the Elders allow us to." Sakura said tearfully at the airport. Tomoyo was her best friend and it was hard to leave her.
Syaoran gave a friendly hug to Tomoyo before they boarded. He boarded first since Sakura wanted to stay with Tomoyo longer. Syaoran knew of Tomoyo's feelings toward Sakura and understood that it was hard for her.
Tomoyo and Sakura bade each other farewell and hugged a long hug. The final call for the flight was heard over the loudspeaker and that was that. Sakura had to go, for Syaoran was waiting for her on the plane.
"Bye Sakura-chan! Call me once you get to Hong Kong and tell me the weather, I'll get to make you another kawaii outfit!" exclaimed Tomoyo, trying her best to hold back the tears. Sakura smiled and agreed. Then, she left for Hong Kong.
Sakura called once or twice more and then she just stopped. They never visited and Tomoyo just assumed that they were too busy. She always gave people the benefit of the doubt. She dismissed the thought and it laid buried in the back of her mind…until now when the memories came flooding back…
:End Flashback+
The tears came down her cheeks, one by one. It was cold but Tomoyo sat there, just staring at the dark, black, night sky.
Why didn't Sakura keep in touch? Was I not important enough for her anymore? Was it because she didn't find any interest in being my friend anymore? Tomoyo fought back and forth inside her mind. Sakura isn't that type of person… she wouldn't ever think that!
The one word that kept popping up in her mind was, "Why?" It was a question that she needed answered. But no one was there to help. Of course, there was no one there to help. There hasn't been for the past 3 years. She was by herself and she needed only her will to survive. That was what she lived by for the years after Sakura and everyone else's departure. Chiharu left for Tokyo with Yamazaki, Naoko moved to the States, and Rika and Terada-sensei had gotten together and gone to travel the world. It was both of their dreams.
Tomoyo could have left too but Tomoeda was her hometown and refused to abandon it. Besides, she loved its coziness. That was her excuse for every invitation to leave Tomoeda.
A mask, a covering of the face, or a masking of one's feelings, emotions. To all the world, she was the picture of perfection. Sweet, kind, beautiful, lively. But once she was inside the safe walls of her home, it was taken off. You see a fatigued, tired, and exhausted girl. With the burden of a million men on her shoulders.
:Flashback+
There was only one person that sees through the mask. Only…one. His name was Eriol Hiiragizawa. The reincarnation of Clow Reed. His gaze pierced right through her act. He saw through it and yet he did not mention anything of it. As if he knew it was to be kept a secret.
He helped Tomoyo go through so many rough times and comforted her when Sakura never called her back. He was so helpful that Tomoyo learned to let down her mask around him. They were inseparable. Sometimes they went out to ice cream after school.
Tomoyo grew to adore him and soon yearned for him to return his feelings. Everyday, she looked for signs and she thought that he had finally returned her feelings. She debated on when to tell him and finally settled for the last day of school.
However, she got sick and had to stay home. The next day she skipped to Eriol's house and rang the doorbell. Nakuru came to the door frowning, without her usual smile and allowed Tomoyo to come in.
She called Eriol down and went into the kitchen. Eriol came down the stairs and was surprised to see Tomoyo dressed up sitting on his couch, hands folded neatly in her lap.
"Tomoyo?" Tomoyo turned her head and saw Eriol looking quite handsome. "Ano..Eriol-kun, I have something to tell you.." She was so nervous of his answer.
"Wait, I have something to tell you too." Replied Eriol. Tomoyo thought that he would say he adored her as well, but what he said caught Tomoyo by surprise.
"I have to leave for England tomorrow. I'm getting married….to Kaho-san. I just wanted to tell you to be the first to know because you're my best friend and we got to know each other so well." It broke her heart and she could feel it shattering into pieces. A million fragments of her heart…tiny fragments…
She could feel the tears stinging and threatening to pour out but she wouldn't let Eriol see her sadness.
So she smiled and said "Well, I'll definitely miss you. I hope you and Kaho..have..a wonderful..marriage." Her voice was breaking up. She managed a quiet, "goodbye" and sprang out the door, her ebony hair flying behind her.
Eriol, being the Clow Reed reincarnate sensed her disheartenment and raced after her but was held back by Nakuru. "You just broke her heart and now you're trying to get her forgiveness? It's not that easy! Tomoyo-chan is very fragile. You don't know how that could have hurt her!" Exclaimed Nakuru.
Eriol relented and went up to his room, thinking of Tomoyo. Tomoyo flung herself on her bed thinking only of how stupid she was to think he liked her. He obviously loved Kaho and she wouldn't come between them. It was too painful to go to the airport and second time, bidding farewell to yet another close friend so she buried herself in work.
Eriol was at the airport, about to board the plane. He looked around, seeing if Tomoyo had come to say farewell. He also wanted to apologize for yesterday but unfortunately she never showed up. He entered the plane with Kaho and left Tomoeda, not knowing what it did to Tomoyo…
:End Flashback+
As she thought of this, the tears fell down as hard as the rain that poured on her. It drenched her from head to toe. Her new dress completely ruined. It wasn't a concern to her. As Tomoyo thought back on everything and all the hurt she went through, she realized that there was nothing for her to live for anymore. Sakura was gone….Eriol was gone…. She had no one and no one cared. She had only one option left and that would be to escape. She wants to escape the world that has turned against her.
Tomoyo finally gets up from the swing and returns to her home. She walks slowly to her dresser and opens a drawer. She fumbles through some things and finally her fingers curl around a small bottle…of pills. She gets a glass of water and swallows as many as she can. With tears streaming down her face, she lies down on her bed to go into eternal slumber. With a smile on her lips she falls asleep…never to awaken again. The content smile of harmony once again…
(A/N I'm sorry if this went on too long. Do you think it dragged on? I hope not. Anyway, please review, I would really appreciate it! )