A/N: This is extremely strange. It sprung from an inside joke with my sister, and those are always a bit out there. Please enjoy and review!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone. I just co-own the idea.
The Unexpected Lover"It was Friday night. All the sensei of Konoha were going to the usual bar, in their usual routine. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was the calm before the storm.
The night continued as usual. Gai was trying to pick up every woman there, the others would laugh their asses off when he got rejected, all the while ordering more drinks. Then, a very drunken Gai decided to goose the wrong woman. He neglected to spot her huge boyfriend. In his impaired state, he didn't have a chance against him. The boyfriend proceeded to kick the shit out of Gai. Eventually the fight was broken up and Gai got all the sensei kicked out of the bar. But the night wasn't over yet.
As they staggered back towards home, they passed a small farm. Iruka, who could barely walk by now, spotted a goat grazing by the short wooden fence. His gaze was suddenly glued to the goat. A lustful glint was in his eyes. With a great deal of difficulty, he hopped the fence and started towards the goat. The sensei told him to come back, that it wasn't his property. He didn't hear a word of it. 'Hello, beautiful,' he cooed. He stroked the goat and lust was burning in his eyes. He disrobed, exposing himself to the goat. As he pushed himself into-"
"Okay, sensei!" cried a very disturbed Sakura. "We won't drink!" Naruto and Sasuke nodded in agreement, their faces contorted with bewilderment and disgust. As Kakashi stood up and started home, he left his squad with this disturbing fact:
"It was a boy goat."
A/N: So, please tell me what you think! Flames will be laughed at and used to roast weenies! And just so you know, I in no way condone bestiality or the raping of farm animals!