Title: Lost in your eyes
Author: Tuliharja
Summary: Byakuya never thought he would once again get lost in someone's eyes after Hisana. Yet he did, but for reasons different than with Hisana.
Disclaimer: BLEACH belongs to Tite Kubo. I'm merely just writing fan fiction about it.
Author's note: Thanks for Sunny betaing this.
.:Lost in your eyes:.
Byakuya never thought he would once again get lost in someone's eyes after Hisana. Those dark, purple eyes with a hint of blue held such gentleness and fragility; it had drawn him in, just like when he had first laid his eyes on Hisana.
He could have gazed into her big eyes for what seemed like hours, only for her to sigh slightly sad, squeeze them shut and tell the noble man that she had been too tired. But he hadn't ever complained. Not even once, because each time those eyes would open, it would be like a blessing reminding Byakuya that she was still here. Yet as he looked longer into Hisana's eyes he could see her gaze not on his. It would be directed at him, but it wasn't on him. The look would be distant, and at times it would come only briefly to him. Those mere seconds were full of needing, yet that was never the intention Byakuya desired to see in Hisana's gaze upon him. He had wished she would return his loving gaze, dwell in his eyes like he did hers and forget everything. Yet that moment never came and when it could have finally come, Hisana wasn't there anymore.
That's why Byakuya always made sure never to look at anyone directly. He would glance at them, look above or even give brief eye contact but he never really looked because the nobleman knew the fragile line between looking and looking at someone. He knew that if he looked into their eyes they would see the emptiness inside of him, the loneliness which he tried so hard to hide. He didn't want others see the broken man he had become, and would continue to be, with his heart shattered from the understanding that no one would ever really look at him. No one would return that loving gaze a man shared with their woman. No one would get lost in his slate grey eyes, seemingly eternal and beyond that, just to be brought back to reality. There would never again be that moment, when Byakuya could just be alone with someone. No, he would stand by himself.
But then she appeared into his life. She didn't stumble into it like in so many fairytales, she wasn't the typically portrayed female who was often clumsy and air-headed and oh-so perfect. She carried herself in a way that suggested great knowing of how every muscle in her body moved; like any true warrior. And she was sharp; extremely sharp and witty. At times Byakuya had even become speechless when she had shown just how sharp a female could be.
She seemed perfect, yet Byakuya soon learned that that perfection was part of what she had to portray, just like he had to. After all, when you weren't just an ordinary person you had to portray yourself as something beyond perfect, because that kind of label had always been placed upon nobles. You had to wear a strong mask, so that you could become unreachable. Yet, it was she who could easily sneak into the other's lives, with her gentle eyes and soft words. Because the way she did it, was real. Her gaze held her emotions openly, never truly hiding like Byakuya's did. She truly saw when looking at someone, giving that person her full attention and swelling the hearts of those who looked into her eyes. But that wasn't the reason why Byakuya noticed himself longing for her gaze.
The reason was silly, almost ridiculous really. He wanted this because he could see her cracks and flaws. At first he couldn't but as time went on, he began to see her. He could see something similar in her to what he held deep within. He could see her loneliness and a longing to be brought into a world of just her and one other, even for a brief moment. This is what made Byakuya become lost in her eyes as he started to fall for her. It was her eyes that reminded him so much of his own loneliness, making him almost feel physical pain as he thought back to Hisana. He had loved her more than any man could, but she never could have fully answered to his feelings. And despite that pain, Byakuya had hoped to always look into Hisana's eyes, up until the fateful day, and hoping that there would be just one look for him. One which was only meant for him and nobody else.