Red vs Blue and Huniepop is owned by Rooster Teeth and Huniepot respectively

(Portland, Maine, Earth)(1)

"Come on baby, Im telling you. You are about to be railed like a train tonight. Bow-chicka*SMACK*" A large smack could be heard around the Bar and Lounge and a woman walks away from a black man with a blue pants and teal shirt with the caption Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow with a red hand print could be seen on his face. The oddest thing about him is on his right side, he seems to have teal lines on his right face with a eyepatch.

This is Captain Lavernius Tucker or just Tucker for short. The official leader of the Reds and Blues: Heroes of the UNSC and Chorus but actually the worst unit in UNSC history. He is trying to enjoy his vacation. After defeating the corrupted Hargroove and saving the planet, Chorus, President Kimball gave the Reds and Blues the moon Iris to inhabit but over time some of them wanted to go to Earth and enjoy the planet. However there was only enough money for 1 ticket and so they meet to discuss who to go and who shouldn't go to Earth.

Caboose could destroy the planet if he tried and there would be no one to watch over him.

Carolina had no experience in civilian life and wanted to stay on the moon.

Washington wanted to be with Carolina and so stayed with her.

Sarge was similar to Carolina only much much worst.

Simmons wanted to help Sarge and felt he would go crazy by himself.

Lopez's body blew up, again, and became a head, again, so he was invalid.

Donut said he loved to be with the team, much to their annoyance and stayed.

Grif was too lazy to even go to the ship and wanted to stay.

Doc left earlier and went on a journey around the galaxy.

'Great, another rejection. It looks like im going to need help on how to date.' Tucker thinks to himself as he gets up from the ground and orders another drink at the bar.

Within the Bar and Lounge, there is a secret love fairy just sulking as she is thinking by herself: 'Okay Kyu, you need to find a new person to turn into a harem master or your goddess is going to get rid of your wings. I haven't created a alpha male in centuries. Lets see...' She begins looking and spots this black man with teal tattoos and watches him get rejected and slap. 'Oh yeah, this is totally the one im looking for.' She walks to him in his disguise form.

"Hey there! Looks like you swung out." Kyu says to Tucker as she sits next to him.

"Tell me about it. Who are you baby?" He says sad at first but goes happy the second he meets this attractive woman.

"Im Kyu: Nice to meet you. Listen are you okay?" She says as she looks at the red handprint at his face.

"Huh. Trust me, I had worse experience with women. Im Tucker by the way." He says as he remembers the most dangerous women he met and hit on: Tex and Carolina.

"Hey! How about tomorrow I help you on how to pick up women and not get beat up." She says as the Teal man's eyes widen and gets a big smirk.

"You got it baby! I'll see you tomorrow." With that, he pays for his drinks and goes home but Kyu can only think to herself:

'He didn't give me a phone number. Well! I'll just follow him to his house and wait for him to wake up.'

(Morning the next day)

"Hey, Hey! Wake the hell up."

Tucker's eyes open and widen as he spots a lady with fairy wings. Mostly military instincts and Wash's training, he kicks her legs and sidesweeps her as he grabs his Alien sword/key.

"OW! What the hell?!" She says with surprise as she lands on her ass and her future client holds her down. "You know, when I said I'll help you this isn't what i had in mind."

"Oh shit, Your Kyu from the bar last night."

"Thats right! Im here to help you and give you a harem. Im a love fairy and my kind gives people lovers." As she explains Tucker looks happy about this and just says:

"Excuse me for a minute." He walks straight to his bathroom and all the fairy heard was: "YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS! EAT IT CHURCH! YOU ALWAYS SAID I"LL DIE A VIRGIN, SCREW YOU!"

He walks out of the bathroom and walks to Kyu: "This is the first time I want to train, so teach me how to score."

"Wait. Before we start, what happen to your eye?" She asks as its been bothering her for awhile and his right eye seems to be glowing a aqua color.

He raises his weapon and activates his sword/key, creating the plasma hue. "For some reason, since I had this sword my body has been getting these teal lines and even my eye has been changing too." Perhaps because its alien, Tucker thinks to himself as he puts on his eyepatch.

"Alright! We are going to train all day and tomorrow we are going to pick up chicks."

(The next day, Beach)

"Alright! Are you ready to pick up chicks?" Kyu says as both her and Tucker are at the beach with the him wearing a teal swimtrunk.

"Wait, we didn't train at all! We played Candy Crush all day yesterday then just look at girls on TV." Tucker says as he stares at Kyu.

"Don't worry your sexy little head. We can get you a girl and what better place then the beach." She says as the teal wearer looks at her with a smirk.

"You know we could just do it ourselves." Tucker says as now the fairy stares at him with her own smirk.

"Maybe but that would to easy for you and I want to see you score your own way." With that they walk around the beach, looking for the harem Tucker wants and Kyu needs to keep her job.

1 Why Maine? The town in Huniepop has never been named and it would be fun if Tucker finally got some action at Maine considering he wore Maine/Meta's armor and killed him.

Why Tucker? Well after reading Caboose's Guide to Making with Monster Girls by Tatsurou-san, I thought who would love a harem? Instinctively thought our fav perverted swordsman.

Next Time- The Indian Yoga Instructor: Beli