Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or their characters. I only own the chapter plot alteration in this story.
ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD!
Also, in this universe Bucky was never dusted.
A/N
Endgame broke me.
Also, I'm so sorry."
One Last Sacrifice
You really think this will work?"
Steve sighed, finding a foothold on the uneven ground. No, he wasn't sure. But it was all they had. "Its the only chance we've got at fixing things, Buck. We have to take it."
"Yeah, I get that. I'm just a little concerned that taking infinity stones from key points in history might screw with things a little," Bucky argued, his voice full of scepticism.
Count on Buck to follow you to the ends of the universe with only mild complaining. Though, Steve knew Bucky had a point. What they were doing, what they were all doing, could either save the universe or bring upon its downfall. Again. Yet, here Buck was, following him anyway. "Everything will be fine if we return the soul stones back to where we take them from," he replied. If we return the soul stones. The possibility that they might not succeed after coming so far was a painful reality. He couldn't... he couldn't think about that now.
Steve couldn't see Bucky's face, he could sense his friend's uncertainty at his words. An uncertainty that he too felt.
"Something might go wrong, Steve," Bucky said, after a momment.
He shook his head, though once again he knew Bucky was right. "Something always goes wrong. We'll deal with it, no matter what."
They said nothing else for a while, instead focusing their thoughts on the climb. Most of the mountain was walkable, though treacherously so. One wrong foot could send them falling. The path was seldom straight, always twisting and growing or shrinking in width. The mountain seemed to want to make it as difficult as possible for its travellers to reach the peak, though not impossibly so. One would have to be determined to reach the top, their goal unwavering. Steve supposed that was the point.
Bucky was fairing a little better than he was at navigating the path, his arm providing a bit of extra leverage when the path grew thinner and forced them to hold onto the walls as they shuffled. Steve could see that it was tiring him though, the extra weight on one side throwing his friend off balance every now and then.
"You doing okay, Buck?" he asked, when he saw Bucky stumble slightly.
Bucky paused for a momment, bracing a hand against the wall. After a second he turned his head to look over his shoulder, "all good, Steve."
Steve nodded, though he didn't believe him. Bucky looked as stable as an upright coin. He made sure he stayed a little closer behind after that, keeping his friend within arms reach.
And thank God he did.
They had only been walking for a little while when he saw Buck stumble for a second time. The time the ledge had given out suddenly, thinning the space between the side of the mountain and the abyss below until he could barely fit two feet on it. Bucky could barely fit one.
Steve felt his heart stop.
Bucy swayed, his metal arm betraying him, beginning to pull him towards the abyss below. A violent flicker of that day on the train forced its way to the front of Steve's mind, a haunting warning.
In a second he darted forward, pulling Bucky back against the wall before he fell. Breathing heavily, he met his friend's eyes, which were wide and far away. He knew exactly what they were seeing. What they were remembering. Exhaling a shaky breath, he gripped his friend's shoulder tightly, "I got'ya bud." He wouldn't let Bucky fall again. He couldn't bare it.
Bucky finally drew breath, his eyes focusing. "Thanks for catching me," he managed, his eyes flickering back to the neverending space between the ground and them for a frightening second.
Steve squeezed his shoulder again. "Always, Buck."
Bucky drew another breath, "we should keep moving."
He looked up to the remaining ascent, searching for the peak. It wasn't far now. He looked back to Bucky, taking in his shaking form. "When you're ready, Buck," he said softly.
A determined look appeared on Buck's face, and he suddenly straightened himself up, taking a momment to find his footing, "then let's keep going."
Well, Steve had somehow got them to the top. All they needed to do now was find the stone and get the hell out of dodge, defy all the laws of physics and time itself, create a new gauntlet, wield said gauntlet, bring everyone back, not die in the process so they could return the stones, all the while making sure that the timeline remained intact. Piece of cake. Definitely not anything they or anyone else in the entirety of space and time hadn't done before.
Granted, finding the soul stone was currently the most pressing issue. If they didn't find that ...there really wouldn't be much point in trying to bring anyone back. The soul stone was the key, and they had to find it. The only thing was, this place seemed like a wasteland; not exactly the home of the most powerful object in the universe.
He turned to Steve, who seemed just as lost as to where to start as he did. "Did Nebula say anything about-"
"Stephen Grant Rogers. The man out of time."
They both spun around to the source of the voice, drawing their weapons.
No...
No way in hell.
In the corner of his eye, he saw Steve grow tense, his whole body rigid. Like he had back in Brooklyn, when he was barely restraining himself from picking a fight with someone twice his size. He saw Steve move to throw his shield.
He put his hand on Steve's bicep, "Steve, wait."
He wasn't sure why he said that. He remembered the Red Skull. Knew he was, what he had done. He knew how Steve must feel, they had both given their lives to bring him down during the war, and now here he was. Alive.
Just like them.
The Red Skull's eyes turned to him, "James Buchanan Barnes. The White Wolf."
"Yeah, we've met. You're uglier than I remember."
The red skull floated closer to them, tendrils of dark smoke curling around his dark cloak. He looked like death. Maybe he was death.
Steve jerked his arm away from his grip, a snarl on his face, though it wasn't directed at him. He strode towards the floating mass, rage radiating off him "You're not supposed to be alive," he growled, "I saw you-"
"You saw the Tesseract send me out of your world. To this place. I watch over the stone now, guiding those to one of the very things I wish to possess."
Bucky stepped forward, "then you know where it is, how to find it?"
"I do."
Steve was shaking now. "Where is it," he said through gritted teeth. Not a question, but a demand.
"It is here."
Steve slammed the shield into the ground. "Enough! Just tell us how-"
"There is a cost. Few are willing to pay it."
Bucky breathed, coming to stand by Steve. "What sort of cost?"
Steve didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it. After everything, there he was. Alive. So many had sacrificed themselves to bring an end to the Red Skull; Erskin, Bucky. Himself.
And here the bastard was. Talking about costs.
He stared him down, waiting for him to answer Bucky's question. He was glad Bucky was here with him. He wasn't sure what he would do if he wasn't.
The Red Skull's eyes flickered between them, almost sadly. "In order to obtain the soul stone, you must yourself give a soul and sacrifice what you love most."
He frowned, taking a half step back, "what ...what does that mean?"
Slowly, the Red Skull turned to face the edge of the peak, outlined by the two tall pillars that reached into the darkening sky. Steve didn't let himself loose eye contact with the Red Skull as he walked over to the ledge, Bucky close behind. They both leant over, peering into the darkness below. The ground below was cold and grey. The drop seemed to swallow all light, yet Steve could still see the way the ground was curved and shaped below. God, had they really climbed that high? What did-
A ledge.
Atop a mountain.
An altar of pillars surrounding it all.
A soul for a soul.
He drew back from the ledge with a sharp intake of breath. No. God, please no... He looked to Bucky, desperate to find a different answer written across his face. Another way.
Bucky only looked at him sadly, a knowing expression hidden behind it all.
He shook his head, stepping closer to Bucky, wanting him closer and away from the ledge. "No," he said, pulling Bucky back forcefully, "No. Were not sacrificing-"
Bucky wrenched his arm out of his grasp, stepping back. "We're already sacrificing something by being here, Steve!"
Steve felt his pulse quicken. Bucky was too close to the edge. One foot wrong and he would be gone, so Steve didn't dare move closer. This couldn't be happening. Not again, not like this. He kept his eyes locked with Buckys. "Lets just ...just think about this a little." The words barely managed to escape him, his chest tightening painfully. He couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe?
He felt hands on his shoulders, gently guiding him to sit down. Bucky's hands. He's still here. It's okay. He's still here. He bowed his head, pressing his face into his palms. Why did it always have to end up like this! Maybe there was another way? There had to be another way.
He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Steve."
"Just let me think!"
Bucky said nothing, but the hand on his shoulder remained.
He breathed, "I just need to think..."
Buck sat down beside him, "okay."
They stayed like that for a what seemed an age, thinking, all the while the Red Skull watching them with an emotionless expression. But the truth still remained. The soul stone demanded a sacrifice, and Steve wasn't going to let that be Bucky. He would be the one to jump. Not Buck.
Eventually, Bucky shifted beside him. "Maybe it means something else," he said quietly, voice low.
He lifted his head from his hands, wiping his eyes. "It cant. We gotta sacrifice what we love most." Slowly, and with a shaky breath, he took Buck's hand in his, running a gentle thumb over it in small circles. "...One of us has to go over that ledge." And it's not going to be you.
Bucky looked down at their joined hands. "...we could both go."
We'll be together, that way. Bucky's unspoken words. An impossible reality. He ran a hand over his face, "someones got to take the stone back to the present."
Bucky nodded, turning his hand over so it was covering Steve's own. "Right."
One of us has to jump.
Steve felt himself break.
Steve's face was back in his hands, though this time Bucky could hear his cries. He knew Steve wasn't crying for himself, only what he might lose. Steve wanted to take his place, to be the one to take the jump. Bucky would never allow him to go through with it, no matter how much Steve wanted to save him. Steve had saved him enough. It was his turn now. Though not because of any debt. Because he loved Steve, and he couldn't bare to watch Steve fall like he had. All he would see was that small, skinny kid from Brooklyn, finally having bitten off more than he could chew as his body hit the ground below. All while he could do nothing to help; a useless bystander.
He looked to the edge of the cliff. No. He wouldn't let that come to pass. Steve was going home, with the stone.
And without him.
He looked back to Steve and saw that his shoulders were shaking.
"Steve, I..."
Steve lifted his head, his eyes red. "I can't- I can't watch you fall, Buck. Not again. I'm not letting you go over that cliff."
Suddenly, he felt a surge of anger shoot through him, settling in his chest. He rose to his feet. "You think I want to watch you jump, Steve?! That I want to see your broken body down there!"
"Buck-"
"No!" he growled, locking his eyes with Steve's. "You are taking the soul stone back, Steve. Not me! You've got more of a right to live than I do anyway-"
"BUCKY!" Steve rose to his feet in one enraged movement, so their faces were inches away from each other. His eyes held a new sort of seriousness that made Bucky feel the overwhelming need to hold his ground.
"If anyone in this goddamn universe deserves a chance to keep going, it's you." Steve's voice and expression had softened, though the seriousness still held. "You've been through so much hell, Buck. You finally got a chance at having your own life again. Please, for me, take it."
Oh, Steve. A few tears formed in Bucky's eyes. He let them fall, drawing in a shaky breath as they did. He looked into his friend's eyes sadly. "What life, Steve? The goats?" He chuckled sadly, his laugh quickly turned into a sob. "You're the only thing in my life that makes any sense, and if you're gone..." He looking away from Steve, feeling more tears form in his already red eyes.
Steve took hold of his shoulders firmly, "Bucky, you'll be okay. You're not going to be alone, I promise."
A sob finally escaped him, his tears falling freely. He could feel his knees weakening, and knew that Steve's support was the only thing keeping him standing. He met Steve's eyes again, his bottom lip shaking. "...I don't want you to go," he whispered.
Steve pulled him close, a hand finding its way into his hair, "I know. I love you, I know."
Shakily, eyes closed, he returned the embrace and tried to focus on the way Steve felt. Either way this went, this would be the last time he got to hold Steve, and Steve him.
He knew which way this was going to go. He was going to make sure of it.
It just wasn't Steve's way.
Enjoying the embrace a momment more, he pulled back just enough to touch their foreheads together, eyes still closed. "Till the end of the line, right?"
Steve's tightened his embrace, "till the end of the line and after, Buck."
Bucky smiled through a sob, "I love you, Stevie."
He could feel Steve shaking more now.
"I love you too."
Till the end of the line and after.
He just wished after wasn't so close.
But he couldn't risk waiting any longer. Taking a breath, he pulled away and opened his eyes. Steve's were still closed, the beautiful blue hidden away.
He had wanted to see Steve's eyes one last time.
Shaking, he placed his hand on Steve's cheek. His heart was beating faster now.
Steve opened his eyes.
There it was, that beautiful blue.
He smiled sadly, "goodbye, Steve."
And then he jumped.
"I love you."
A hand on his face.
Bucky's brown eyes.
"Goodbye, Steve."
He only had time to scream Buck's name before he disappeared over the ledge.
Gone.
Bucky was gone.
Again.
He collapsed to his knees, his mouth open in a silent, anguished scream.
It was supposed to be me.
The world soon disappeared around him.
Steve woke in a pool of water, cool and shallow. Something warm was pressed into his closed hand. Breathing deeply, he looked over his shoulder and saw Vormir's peak. He saw where they had stood, saw where Bucky had fallen. He could also see where Bucky would have landed.
Shakily, he looked down into his now open palm, to see the thing that had demanded Bucky's life. A rock. Powerful or not, that's all it was. A fucking rock.
It took everything inch of his self-control not to hurl it across the wasteland beyond.
Jaw tightening, he shoved the stone in his pocket and rose to his feet. He wasn't going back yet; he had to be sure. He had to see.
He hadn't checked last time.
Hydra had.
Determined, he trudged his way back to the mountain's base, his expression blank. It felt as if his very soul had been ripped around of him, and he supposed that it probably had.
Eventually, he stopped just beyond the base, the place where Bucky would have landed. He wasn't close enough to see if Bucky was there yet. Would he be there at all? Or had he just disappeared into nothingness?
He kept walking.
Then, a little while later, he saw him.
He was at his side in seconds.
If it weren't for the blood, Bucky would look merely asleep.
But he knew that the inside of his friend's body was as broken as he felt right now.
And broken he was.
Crumbling to his knees, he sobbed.
" Buck..."
Trembling, he carefully moved a lock of Bucky's hair away from his face. Buck's eyes were closed; he must have closed them before he jumped. Before he fell.
He breathed through another sob, tears falling onto his friends face. He did his best to ignore the pool of red that surrounded his head. "Why did you have to go, Buck?" he whispered, carding a hand through his brown tangled hair, "why didn't you just stay?"
Because he loved you.
Shaking, he reached over to start Bucky's time bracelet. They were both going home. Nothing in this universe could make him leave him here. He set his own, his breath still laboured.
They were going home.
And when they landed back on that pad, he wished he didn't notice how the teams joyful cheers quickly disappeared, replaced by a devastating silence. He almost didn't notice when someone knelt beside him, holding him, nor the hands on his shoulders that eventually pulled him away.
All he could focus on was Bucky.
And how he never got to say goodbye.