I do not own Artemis Fowl.
Please note I have not read Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony. Well, at least not completely. I am only halfway there, so spare I if I do something wrong.
Chapter 1: The Imp that Wanted to Warp
He was only a mere imp. However, he was unique. Referred to as Target, Target was often the target of several matured imps, being the youngest of his class. In fact, he was the target of even younger demons! Target hated being bullied. He desired to warp. Warp into a fabulous demon that would scare others away. Alas, this could not be possible. Target was not someone who was violent. All he desired to accomplish was scare his bullies away, not injure or kill them. He tried to lust for blood and desire for fight, but every time he attempted, Target would always fall to the ground, his mind filled with horrible thoughts, and his facial expression definitely looking horrified.
Target was only the age of eleven, but was in the class of fourteen-year old imps. He was exceptionally smart, and despite being bullied, Target was pretty strong. The only reason why he allowed himself to be bullied was because of his peacefulness. He often thought of words that demons should never say, such as "pink" and "purple," beautiful colors he wanted to see. Target knew that thinking about these words would get him severely punished, so he kept them to himself. He wondered what all those words meant; what all those words were like.
Target was thinking on this particular day. Thinking about how to warp, Target tried to discover another way to warp. Warping into a demon is caused by bloodlust, but what if there was another way to warp. It was too hard for Target to be like that, and due to that reason, Target began to ponder on the subject. He wrote down an equation in history class. Bloodlust + Violent Thinking Warping. He then transferred that into a mathematical equation. b + v w. However, just that wouldn't help. He needed coefficients to tell how much of b and v would be needed. He needed information to represent b and v, narrowing it down. It was too confusing.
Behind Target, the teacher, Master Rawley, rose up his sword and swung it down, nearly cutting Target's ear off. It only chipped a tiny piece of Target's wooden desk off. "Why aren't you paying attention? You don't seem to be taking notes!"
Shuddering in pure fear, Target slowly turned around to face the teacher as the other imps giggled wildly. "Eh, I, um, was t-technically t-taking notes m-mentally," Target managed to fabricate.
"What a witty comment!" applauded the teacher, smiling cheerfully at Target. This was obviously sarcasm, as his face immediately changed to an angry expression. "You were writing something," he growled.
Target reached for the paper he wrote the equation on, but Rawley's speed didn't allow this. His sword immediately pierced the paper, and a bit of the desk, and the educator immediately took the paper off the blade.
"What the hell is this?" he blurted out. "A warping formula eh? You can try to warp all you want in Warp Training class, but this is history class." The teacher's eyes gleamed slightly. "Unless, of course, you want to warp now eh?" Turning around, he grabbed two swords and hurled them at Target.
Barely catching the swords, the little imp fell over because the two swords were too heavy for him. He attempted to hold them up, and although he barely was able to, Target was trembling violently.
Master Rawley immediately appeared in front of the imp. "Kill me little one!" He swept his sword at the imp.
Target managed to dodge it, but everyone knew that the teacher was once a sword guru. Target would eventually get sliced apart. There was only one option. Drop the swords and run. However, the teacher didn't let him have a chance. The powerful demon barely sliced the blood-red imp's right arm. A small cut appeared, and blood came oozing out. This excited the audience, and they gradually began to go into warping mode. All of them didn't warp, but almost did.
Target blocked every attempt that the teacher made to slice him apart. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, the teacher halted, and walked back to his desk.
"Let this teach you!" he snarled. "Pay attention, or else."
The teacher actually almost always picked on Target. He was a target for everyone, and he desired to warp into a demon pronto. Target copied down what the teacher was lecturing about, and when the bell rung, immediately shot out of the door.
History was Target's third to last class, or also his fourth class. His next class would be Gnommish, and then after that was Warp Training. Target walked to Gnommish class, which was on the other side of the school.
Sitting in the back of the class, Target began to relax. Gnommish was often the most boring class, since all the teacher talked about was ancient history of the Eighth Family, something that Target learned the period before. The only difference was that the teacher for Gnommish was that she was nice, she expressed the facts in detail and told the imps to write down the words that she thought they did not understand, and was lenient on grading. To be honest, Target was usually occupied with something else: looking at the female teacher's bravura body and face. She was truly a beauty, and on the first day of school, almost all of the male imps with great bravado hooted as they saw her beauty. However, something like that was technically frowned upon, but they still couldn't resist.
After almost an hour of staring at the Gnommish teacher, Target got up and walked out as he heard the bell ring. The next class: Warp Training class. Warp Training class was a class Target both loved and hated. He loved it because it gave him an opportunity to become bloodthirsty or gave him ideas to formulate a new equation for warping, but he hated it because his ambitions in Warp Training class never worked out correctly. Furthermore, every other week, on Tuesday and Thursday, the imps would watch a gory movie on Tuesday and read or listen to a bloody book on Thursday. Target sighed. He was homophobic and it was Tuesday again. There were two places for Warp Training class: a classroom for days when watching a movie or listening to a book or outside for normal days. Dragging his feet the last period classroom, Target drooped down, and was accidentally tardy for Warp Training class.
"Okay now students!" announced the demon teacher. "Yet another attempt will be made at warping! Today's movie is especially bloody, being on the ancient battle with the humans. The battle at Taillte! The version is exceptionally bloody too!"
All the imps except for Target whooped and cheered, and prepared themselves to experience warping. Target sighed, "Same old, same old…" Target closed his eyes and covered his ears. He didn't even want to hear the sounds of people dying.
At the end of class, no one warped, although one was at the verge of warping, shaking violently for several minutes after the first half of the movie.
These days were absolutely useless to Target. The bell rang, and Target strolled away. Living in an apartment home, Target often got home late, roaming to seek for new places to eat food. After numerous people were already walking back home, Target screamed, "I WANT TO WARP!" continuously to no end.
Luckily or unluckily, a mysterious demon ambled towards him, tapped his shoulders, scaring Target, and whispered softly in his left ear, "I can help you warp…" The demon motioned for Target follow him, and strolled away, his or her gait unique from other people.
Interested, Target considered whether or not he should follow him or her. Deciding to follow the mysterious demon, Target walked towards the demon, hoping he would finally warp.