Transformers: Animated Public Service Annoucements #2…Didn't they learn from last time?
PSA#1
(Bumblebee messes with the camera until its center then begins to speak)
Bumblebee: Yeah, I really thought I make it through our game of Mafia to the last round. I was the doctor. I'm pretty sure Prowl was in the mafia with J-
Sari: *walks on screen* What are talking about?
Bumblebee: Mafia.
Sari: When did you play that game?
Bumblebee: Never. I just wanted to do the Survivor interview thing.
Sari: *sighs and facepalms* Just get ready for your PSA.
Bumblebee: I can't believe we have to do a whole other set of these.
Sari: *walks behind camera* Neither can I. Action!
Bumblebee: WARNING! WARNING! THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERENCY ALERT SYSTEM! WARNING! WARNING!
Sari: What are you doing?
Bumblebee: That is what you may hear if an earthquake happens.
Sari: That's not even what this PSA is about!
Bumblebee: In case of an earthquake hide under the thing most likely to fall over. *hides behind a shelf* make sure you do NOT protect your head. If a hole into the Earth, or whatever planet you live on, I don't judge, is to open up, jump right on in it. If you find out where the epicenter or center of the Earthquake is, go right there and stand on top of it, even if it's in the ocean! That's all folks!
Sari: What was that supposed to be?
Bumblebee: Just tryin' to make it fun.
PSA#2
(Sari is behind camera. Jetfire is dressed up like a little girl, frilly dress and all with a wig of blonde curls.)
Jetfire: No. Not doin' this.
Sari: Jetfire, you are the only one who fits in the costume besides Jetstorm and he's playing the older brother.
Jetfire: Vhy don't you do it? You are a little girl.
Sari: I'm a teenager. And I'm the director, so I can't do it.
Jetfire: I hate you.
Sari: Whatever. Action!
Jetfire: *talking in monotone* Where, oh, where is my dolly?
Jetstorm: * holding a Barbie that is dressed totally mismatched and has hair missing* Here's your doll, shrimp.
Jetfire: *still without feeling* Oh, joy, brother. You 'ave found my doll. May I now 'ave it.
Jetstorm: No vay, Josie!
Sari: It's Jose. Not Josie. The J makes a H sound and the E makes an A sound. And Jetfire, could you have a little enthusiasm?
Jetstorm: Vhatever. No vay, Jose. I stole the doll in the first place.
Jetfire: *talking like Soundwave* Sister, acknowledges. Command, give the doll back.
Sari: That is not funny, Jetfire.
Jetfire: Vhatever. *starts talking monotone again* Give me my dolly.
(Large explosion)
Jetstorm: Vhat vas that?
(Smoke clears to show Optimus, BB, Prowl, Bulkhead, and Ratchet standing heroically. It is ruined by Bumblebee who begins to cough and then falls over, which knocks over Bulkhead [somehow], who crushes Prowl, which knocks over Ratchet, who lands on Optimus)
Bumblebee: Whoops…
(All get up)
Jetfire: *monotone* Look. It is Optimus Prime and crew.
Bumblebee: Why are we just crew? Why does Optimus get the spotlight? I need my time to shine! Like sparkly Edward Cullen!
Optimus: Are you two having a problem?
Jetfire: Yes. *sarcastic* and it is a perfect zing to use for a PSA, too bad it is not one. *monotone* Anyways, my brother stole my dolly.
Optimus: Yes, stealing is bad thing.
Bumblebee: Wait. If it's bad then would it be wrong to steal a weapon of mass destruction from the Decepticons?
Optimus: No, Bumblebee. That's a completely different situation.
Bulkhead: Not really. Stealing is stealing.
Jetstorm: I'm going to say this for Sari. Stick to the script!
Prowl: *grabs doll and gives it to Jetfire* you should never take something that isn't yours without permission.
Jetfire: *drops the doll* *monotone*Now zat you stole my doll. I vill steal something of yours!*finds an iPod* Aha, your iPod.
Jetstorm: Heeeey! Zat really iz my iPod! Give it here!
Jetfire: *overly dramatic* Never!
Bumblebee: I want a burrito.
Bulkhead: Can we even eat human food?
Bumblebee: I dunno. I just want a burrito.
Optimus: You shouldn't take from others, even if they-
Bumblebee: BURRITO! BURRITO!
Optimus: Took from you first. Both of you should-
Bumblebee: USE POKEMON TO DESTROY EACH OTHER, TEARING EACH OTHER LIMB FROM LIMB!
Jetstorm: Vhat the?
Bumblebee: *sees the doll, picks it up*
Optimus: Don't listen to Bumblebee. You should apoligize to each other.
Jetstorm: Sorry, little sister.
Jetfire: So-
Ratchet: I hate to interrupt, but the kid is mentally disturbing Bulkhead and myself.
Optimus: How?
Rathcet: Look.
Bumblebee:*singing and holding the doll* 'I'm a Barbie girl in my Barbie World. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere!'
Optimus: What are you doing?
Bumblebee: You didn't see anything.
Jetfire: Right.
Sari: Cut! I don't want to see how wrong this goes.
PSA#3
(Sari is behind camera. Sentinel is IMing one of the Decepticons. The screen name is Lady_Spider001)
Sari: *narrorating* See that adult transformer, kids. He's doing a very bad thing. He is cyber-bullying someone. Cyber-bullying can lead people to suicide and other horrible-
Sentinel: What are you doing?
Sari: A PSA on cyber-bullying.
Sentinel: I'm not cyber-bullying Blackarachnia! I'm trying to ask her out, but she keeps saying no and blocking me. Now I have 42 accounts on this MSN thing.
Sari: That's called harassment, Sentinel. You can get sued.
Sentinel: I can?
Sari: Yes.
Srntinel: Prove it.
Sari: *brings up website on harassment and they read it*
Sentinel: This doesn't prove anything.
Sari: I'll tell Ultra Magnus that you were harassing women and not in the verbal way.
Sentinel: Slag. *types bye and signs off* you know, you shouldn't blackmail.
Sari: Kids, don't cyber-bully or harass people online.
Sentinel: And don't blackmail commanding officers!
Sari: Ignore him! *turns off camera*
PSA#4
(Sari is behind the camera. Bumblebee, Jazz, and Prowl are in the shot)
Bumblebee: Unicorn turds!
Prowl: Oh, brother.
Jazz: Hi, it's me! The uber awesome Jazz!
Prowl: *glares at Jazz* And me, Prowl.
Bumblebee: I'm Harry Potter.
Prowl: No. Your not.
Bumblebee: Oh, Professor Snape, you're such a floppy wanded dementor boggerer. Am I right, Ron?
Jazz: I'm not helping you with this one.
Prowl: In other news, today we are doing a PSA on Stereotypes.
Jazz: Like how because he's Prowl, he must be a nub.
Prowl: G1 Prowl was not a nub.
Bumblebee: All people who like snakes must be evil!
Prowl: I like snakes.
Bumblebee: Prowl is EVIL! The Dark Prince of Awesome says so.
Prowl: Why did I agree to do this?
Sari: I dunno. And Bumblebee, that's not a stereotype that's just something you thought up because the evil Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter's symbol was a snake.
Bumblebee: Megatron likes snakes.
Prowl: No he doesn't. He hates everything that's organic.
Bumblebee: He LIED to me!
(A purple and black transformer, only three years of age, crawls onto the set. Prowl picks her up)
Bumblebee: Prowl, you shouldn't pick up strange children.
Prowl: This is my sister, moron.
Jazz: Did Prowl just say moron?
Bumblebee: When did that happen?
Prowl: Three stellar cycles ago. Remember, I told when my creator sparked her. And that her name was Nightbird.
Jazz: Did you say moron?
Bumblebee: How did she get here?
Prowl: On a spaceship with me. Remember, I went and got her. That's why I wasn't able to be in the PSA on Eating Disorders with you.
Jazz: Did you really say moron?
Bumblebee: We never did a PSA on eating disorders.
Prowl: We didn't?
Sari: Prowl, I told what happened with that.
Prowl: Oh, yeah. The earthquake PSA.
Jazz: Did you really say moron?
Prowl: What is your obsession with that?
Jazz: I thought you said that you don't call people names.
Prowl: I don't consider Bumblebee a person.
BB: Hey!
Sari: Guys! Please stick to the script! And, guys, I let Nightbird on the set so that you behave, you known because she's a young and impressionable child.
Jazz: Has that stopped us before?
Sari: *groan*
Bumblebee: Now that I think about it what kind of PSA topic is stereotypes? We should do one on…on…
Jetfire: *walks by with Jetstorm* Not putting an explosive device in pants.
Jetstorm: That is almost as bad as not whizzing on electric fence.
Jetfire: Is not! It is good idea!
Jetstrom: Is too! It is terrible idea! *twins walk off fighting*
Nightbird: Prowlie, I'm hungry.
Bumblebee: *snickering* Prowlie…
Prowl: I will hurt you, Bee.
Jazz: Is this even a PSA anymore?
Sari: No, it's not. Let's just cut this.
PSA #5
(Bulkhead and Ratchet are in the scene. Sari is, as usual, behind the camera.)
Sari: ACTION!
Ratchet: Don't do drugs. *walks off set*
Bulkhead: I feel so alone. Maybe I can make my self feel better by doing something weird like Bumblebee does.
Ratchet: *walks back on set with Arcee behind him pushing him* What does the kid do?
Bulkhead: He like sniffs pixie sticks.
Sari: Bee, are you snorting pixie sticks?
Bumblebee: No, I just do that in front of Bulkhead to make him think I'm doing drugs so he'll freak out.
Sari: That's a terrible thing to do to a friend.
Arcee: Yes. Remember the last time you did something terrible to a friend?
Sari: Remember I wound up in a tree?
Bumblebee: Oh yeah.
Bulkhead: You should never pretend to do drugs.
Ratchet: In basic sense, just don't mess around with them.
Sari: CUT! I think we can actually use this one.
Arcee: No you can't. You didn't say anything about what drugs do to you.
Sari: Crap…
PSA #6
(Nightbird is on the scene with Prowl. Sari had to go with her dad somewhere so BUMBLEBEE is directing. He is behind the camera.)
Prowl: This is just wrong. You're using Nightbird's cuteness to win people over in a PSA.
Bumblebee: Yes, yes I am. Action!
Nightbird: *smiles* Hi, people watching this P-S-A. I'm Nightbird! I'm three stellar cycles, or years, old!
Prowl: This is so wrong.
Nightbird: I'm here to tell not to talk to strangers. *does a big puppy face* Because it'll make me very sad. And you could get kidnapped or hurt.
(Blurr runs onto the set.)
Blurr: *talking really fast* Hey, kid! Can you help me find my lost puppy even though I don't know you?
Prowl: Now we have Blurr in on this?
Nightbird: NO! *runs to Prowl*
Prowl: …
Bumblebee: Prowl, your line.
Prowl: Oh yeah. *bad acting on purpose* You did a good job getting away from that stranger, Nightbird. If you hadn't I may never had seen you again.
Nightbird: That'd be awful. Do I get my good acting energon cookie now, big brother?
Jazz: *jumps on the set* And that is what you would call *does freaky hand gesture* Stranger danger!
Bumblebee: Cut! That was great! Sari will love this! It's perfect.
Prowl: No, it's not! I talked through the whole thing, jazz wasn't even supposed to be in the PSA and what the PIT is Blurr doing here? I mean really Bumblebee-
Bumblebee: *turns off camera*
PSA #7
(All transformers are in the shot. Sari is behind the camera.)
Sari: Please let this go right. ACTION!
Optimus: Hello, I'm Optimus Prime of the Autobots, as you may know-
Blitzwing: *runs in on Random* And I am Blitzwing! Ze most awesome Decepticon ever!
Jazz& Prowl: *chase Blitzwing out and come back*
Optimus: Okay, let's start over. Sari, can we start over?
Sari: Su-
Bumblebee: Hello, I am Optimus Prime of the Autobots as you-
Optimus: That's my line, Bumblebee.
Bumblebee: You can't prove that.
Prowl: Anyway, what were trying to say is this PSA is supposed to be on things that are illegal.
Jetfire: Like ze counting of cards.
Bumblebee: Counting cards isn't illegal, it's frowned upon like…like I don't know trying to interface in public on Cybertron.
Prowl: That is illegal, Bumblebee.
Bumblebee: Yeah maybe after the Great Wars started and everyone got so touchy about it. Thanks a lot, Megatron.
Optimus: *rolls eyes*
Ratchet: Bumblebee, you're an imbecile.
Sentinel: Kids talking should be illegal.
Bumblebee, Sari, Nightbird, Bulkhead, and the Jet Twins: HEY! IF THERE IS ANYONE WHO SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD, IT'S YOU!
Sentinel: I ought to court marital all of you!
Nightbird: I'm only three stellar cycles old!
Prowl: Seriously, Sentinel.
Arcee: More like Jerkimus Maximus.
Sentinel: *glares*
Arcee: Oh? Did I say that out loud?
Jetfire: I have got another one! Sentinel Afthead!
Jetstorm: Good one, brother! What about Sentinel Stupid?
Bumblebee: Dumbaft Prime!
Sentinel: ENOUGH!
Bulkhead: Jerky McJerkwich Pants!
Sentinel: Ahem.
Bulkhead: *shrugs*
Sentinel: This PSA should about not calling people names.
Ratchet: It doesn't matter how many PSA's people make about that they're still gonna do it.
Jazz: Ha-ha. You said do it.
Bumblebee: INNUENDO ALERT!
Ratchet: It doesn't matter how many PSA's they make about that too because people still do that.
Blurr: *talking fast* Very true, Ratchet.
Optimus: Please, enough of that. Things that are illegal also consist of-
Jetfire: *looking at a laptop he brought over* It is illegal to slurp soup in the state of New Jersey.
Optimus: It is?
Jetfire: Yup.
Jazz: What about here in Detroit?
Jetfire: In Michigan, a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.
Prowl: That's pretty funny. Are there anymore?
Jetstorm: *looking at the computer screen* It says here that in Alabama putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Bumblebee: Never goin' to Alabama.
Jetfire: In Louisiana it is against the law to gargle in public.
Ratchet: Look at this one. In Waterville, Maine, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
Optimus: I like this one. In Oklahoma people who make 'ugly faces' at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
Bumblebee: Look at this one for Pennsylvania, Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road and cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.
Jazz: Okay…*laughs*
Sari: Wait I want to see! What website is that?
Jetfire: .
Sari: Cool. *turns off camera*
PSA # 8
(Jetfire messes with the camera till it is center. Sari went to the bathroom.)
Jetfire: Do NOT and I repeat, DO NOT put explosives in your pants! You will explode, which is much worse than electrocuting self by whizzing on electric fence!
Sari: *walks on screen* You better leave my camera alone or I'm putting a real grenade in your pants just to see what happens.
Jetfire: *runs away*
Sari: *turns off camera*
PSA # 9
(Bumblebee and Jetfire are in the shot. Sari is behind the camera.)
Bumblebee: Sari, what is this PSA even about?
Sari: I don't know. I lost the script.
Jetfire: Music video?
Sari: *walks on screen* Sure! But we'll need help. From both sides.
(Elapsed time: 10 minutes)
(Music starts Sari and Jetfire are standing in the center of a crowd of their 'friends'. (Some Autobots, some Decepticons) Wasp [however he got there] and Bumblebee are standing off on the side. Sari begins singing.)
Sari: *points to Bumblebee* 'There! Right There! Look at that tan, that tinted skin. Look at the killer shape he's in. Look at that slightly stubbly chin. Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.
Jetfire: I'm not about to celebrate. Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate. This guy's not gay, I say not gay.
All: That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to assume that a man who wears perfume is automatically radically fey?
Blitzwing: But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.
Sari: Look at his silk translucent socks.
Jetfire: It's the eternal paradox. Look what we're seeing.
Sari: What are we seeing?
Jetfire: Is he gay?
Sari: Of course he's gay!
Jetfire: Or European?
All: Ohhhhhh. Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or European?
Blurr: Well, hey, don't look at me.
Blackarachnia: You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports. They play peculiar sports.
All: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts. Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks. They will say things like "ciao bella" while they kiss you on both cheeks.
Sari: Oh please.
All: Gay or European? So many shades of gray.
Blurr: Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
All: Is he gay or European?
Slipstream: There! Right There! Look at that condescending smirk. Seen it on every guy at work. That is a metro hetero jerk. That guy's not gay, I say no way.
All: That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume…
Sari: Is automatically-radically
Jetfire: Ironically chronically
Blackarachnia: Certainly pertin'tly
Blurr: Genetically medically
All: GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY- DAMNIT! Gay or European?
Jetfire: So stylish and relaxed.
All: Is he gay or European?
Jetfire: I think his chest is waxed.
Blackarachnia: But they bring their boys up different there. It's culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse.
All: If he wears a kilt or bears a purse. Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code.
Arcee: Yet his accent is hypnotic but his shoes are pointy toed.
All: Huh. Gay or European? So many shades of gray.
Red Alert (who is a femme in Animated): But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday.
All: Is he gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro-
Blitzwing: Wait a minute! Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try.
Jetfire: The floor is yours.
Blitzwing: *walks over to Bumblebee and Wasp* So Mr. Argitacos... This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?
Bumblebee: Two years.
Blitzwing: And you're first name is again…?
Bumblebee: Micos.
Blitzwing: And you're boyfriend's name is…?
All: *gasp*
Bumblebee: I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend. I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend.
Wasp: You bastard! You lying bastard! That's it. I no cover for you, no more! Peoples, I have a big announcement. This man is Gay and European!
All: Whoa!
Wasp: You've got to stop your being a completely closet case. No matter what he say. I swear he never ever ever seen the other way. You are so gay. You big parfait! You flaming boy band cabaret.
Bumblebee: I'm straight!
Wasp: You were not yesterday. So if I may, I'm proud to say, he's gay!
All: And European!
Wasp: He's gay!
All: And European!
Carlos: He's gay!
All: And European and Gay!
Bumblebee: Fine okay I'm gay!
All: Hooray!
Bumblebee and Wasp: Fine. Okay. We're gay!'
Aftermath:
Sumdac: I'm sorry you're going to have to do these again.
All: *groan*
Fanzone: That last one wasn't even a PSA!
Bumblebee: For the record, no one in that music video was actually gay.
Optimus: Then why did you and Wasp agree to play gay parts?
Sari: We were actually never planning on anyone in the video actually being gay. We were trying to get Starscream and Swindle to do the roles of Micos and Carlos, but we couldn't find them.
Bumblebee: So fangirl yaoi/slash pairings won us over and Wasp and I were chosen for the roles.
Ratchet: I want to know how Red Alert got there. I thought she was on Cybertron with the rest of her team.
Sari: We needed another girl, so we wnet to Cybertron and got her.
Sentinel: That's why Rodimus comm.-ed me saying he couldn't find her.
Arcee: I can't believe we got those Decepticons to do that.
Sari: It's Blitzwing for Primus's sakes. Slipstream and Blackarachnia were just sent to keep an eye on him and ended up in the music video because we need a Vivian and a Enid.
Fanzone: What I want to know is how you can make a very good music video, but can't make one good PSA.
All: *shrug* We don't know.
End of chapter…
I do not own Transformers, belonging to Hasbro. I also do not own 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua or 'There! Right There!' from Legally Blonde: The Musical. Not as funny as the last one, but oh well. Peace!