Poem by me. Enjoy~
Watch me fall
He fell, his body falling limp and crashing to the floor in a pile. The shock and betrayal hit him first, followed closely by the pain, the worry for the man dying beside him. Roach. He tried to turn his head, tried to see, to check on the bug. But he couldn't. There was only black.
And black.
And black.
But then a bright light and searing pain ran across his skin, his face, and Ghost realised he was dying. But then he had always been dying. He cracked one eye open and stared at the endless blue sky, at the flames licking at his clothes and skin and hair. He could hear Roach screaming, could hear 'Tavish screaming, screaming for a response from them, from someone. But he couldn't move, couldn't even twitch, despite how much he wanted to, despite how much he longed to reach for the man burning, dying, beside him and tell him it was going to be alright.
Watch me walk through the door
But it wasn't, and he should have known that from the start. Shepherd had never been their friend, their ally, and he should have known that. He should have seen. All those moments when his General had shown his indifference towards his soldiers, towards his men. He should have known, or even just suspected. But he hadn't, and now his mate lay next to him in the dirt, writhing in pain.
And worse still, 'Tavish was calling to him, worry and panic lacing every word he said.
"Enough, Soap! They're gone! There's no one left!"
Price. That would be Price, always logical, always thinking ahead. But he wasn't dead and he didn't want to be, and he wished he could move his tongue and say something, anything, to reassure someone. But he wasn't sure who he was trying to reassure anymore, wasn't sure if it was Roach, or 'Tavish, or himself he wanted to comfort.
And all the while,
You just sit and smile
One of the captains should have been here. One of them. There was no need for them both to be on the same mission, the same team, only one of them was needed, and he and Roach should have been split, each of them with one of the captains. Roach with 'Tavish or Price, and himself with the other. But Shepherd had put them together after he had suggested it, when he should have refused.
But why did he request something so stupid? Why? The fight with 'Tavish, Soap, John. Oh. Yes. It was that that made him so angry, so blind, so stupid. And he regretted it, regretted the fight, regretted instigating the decision that was probably, maybe, definitely, the reason why Roach was dying, why everyone still at Base had died, had been massacred, why everyone that had come with him to this hellhole had died.
Why everyone he'd ever loved had died.
Because of his decision. Because of his fight. Because of his stupid, childish fight with John, his best friend, his… his… something. Ghost didn't know what John was to him anymore. Everything was blurred, and Roach had ceased to scream. The silence was killing him. The knowledge one of his closest friends was dead, had died beside him while he did nothing ate at him. He wanted desperately to say something to John through his radio, to fix them, their relationship, whatever it was.
And now he couldn't ever fix it and that killed him more than the flames and oil and smoke did.
It was his fault, and there was nothing he could do this time.
No revenge, no hunting.
Nothing.
Only his tears as the flames consumed him.
Feeling nothing at all