Jack had always been under the belief that time and space were infinite and he'd never run out of places to go. He'd always thought that one day, if he needed to run, the universe would be able to provide a place that was far enough away. He'd always thought that he'd ride the rifts to the end of time and eventually forget about whatever it was that he was running from in the first place.
So he's riding the rifts. He's gone everywhere that he's been to before and visited places that he never even knew existed. He's done new things and seen the impossible (again). And yet, no matter how far he goes—and he's been very, very far—it's never far enough.
No matter where he is, all he has to do is close his eyes for just a fraction of a second and everything he's running from comes flooding back.
He sees Owen, living a life of death and then dying all over again. He sees Tosh, bleeding out and her pixelated face when she tells Owen (who's dead anyway) that she loves him. He sees Gwen and the life—the wonderful, carefree and blissfully unaware life—that she would've had had she not met him. He sees his daughter and her son and the complete trust that the boy had in his Uncle Jack as he'd sentenced him to death. And then he sees Ianto choking on poisoned air and that's just too much, so he opens his eyes and goes somewhere new—somewhere even further away.
He keeps running.
But he's running out of places that don't remind him of—...certain things and certain people. It's like wherever he turns there's some sort of coffee or suit or dark chocolate or...just reminders, really. There are reminders everywhere he goes and he's beginning to think that he was lied to, because if he can't escape one simple memory—albeit a long and strong one, but a simple memory all the same—then surely the universe isn't nearly as big as he'd been led to believe.
And now. Now he's on a planet that he can't even pronounce the name of and everything is blue and all he can think about is how Ianto used to tell him how much he liked his coat and how, in fact, the very coat he's wearing right now is blue and was given by Ianto.
It's absolutely ridiculous and Jack feels more than just a little pathetic.
Sometimes he thinks about going back to Earth. Then he realises that there's nothing there for him anymore because Gwen hates him and all he would be is reminded of all the lives lost away in the name of saving the Earth...and how the majority of them could've lived if he'd just been there or how he was supposed to have died with them.
He'll never go back to Earth. He doesn't think he'd be able to handle it.
So he'll keep running. He'll run from Torchwood and everything that came out of it.
He'll run and run and maybe, if he's lucky, time and space will catch up with him and he won't be able to run anymore.
He knows it'll never be far enough and that he'll never forget about Ianto and the others. But he wants give it a shot, because this hurts too much and he's still got half the universe left to run around.
He knows—he really knows—that even half the universe won't ever be far enough.
But he'll run anyway, because there's nothing else for him now.