"You have to be kidding."
"No." Tonks muttered stonily. "I need something in my life now." She glared at Remus, implying that yes, the fact she was single was his fault, and yes, he was why she was buying all these pairs of shoes. Looking away haughtily, she pulled off the black heels, and replaced them with a pair of red converse. Smiling, she stood, jumping lightly, testing the resistance. "Rubber soles," she said brightly. "Swear by 'em."
"This is just fantastic." Remus muttered, sitting dolefully on the Weasleys couch. "Fantastic. I have been replaced. By shoes." He eyed the converse on her feet, before glaring at the bags of boxes beside Tonks. Stupid shoes. This was all their fault.
Tonks shrugged. "The shoes don't leave me because they're dangerous." She glared at him again. "The shoes love me."
"Merlin," Remus muttered, crossing his arms. "First werewolves, now shoes. You are the weirdest girl I have ever met."
She looked away. "The shoes don't talk back, either."