"You're an idiot, Nell Jones. A complete and utter idiot."
"Shut up."
"You'll never do anything but make a fool of yourself around Eric...but why do you even care? He isn't special to you or anything, is he?"
"Shut UP!"
"Oooh, getting sensitive, are we?"
"Nell."
"SHUT UP!"
"I'm right, and you know it."
"Nell?"
"I'm not listening to you ANY longer."
"Says who? Who's in charge here now, huh?"
"Seriously. Leave me ALONE!"
"Hello, earth to Nell."
"Aww, there's your boyfriend wanting to talk to you. Like he likes you anyways. You've done nothing but act weird around him. Tell him that girls punch boys they like, and then punch him in the arm later that day. Finish his sentences, spill your guts to him... 'It comes from being a Type A with...'"
"SHUT UP, darn you!"
"Breaking out the four-letter words now, eh? Bet Eric's never heard you swear, has he?"
No, Eric had never seen her pacing up and down halls, screaming every curse word she knew at the top of her lungs out of sheer frustration and anger. He had never seen her beating the stuffing out of a punching bag, or running as fast as she could just to hear the thunk of her sneakers on the pavement. Eric had never seen her collapsed in bed, breathing in gasps, her body shaking with tearless sobs. Eric had never seen her lose it. And I'm not going to start today.
"Nell?"
"ERIC!"
Eric jumped. Nell hadn't realized she was yelling.
"Are you okay?"
Nell kicked her foot at the air even harder, trying to force down the
feeling that she was fixing to jump out of her skin. The panic-like
frustration just rose higher in her chest.
"Fine," she managed to bite out.
"If you say so. Hey, are you done with that trace yet?"
"Not quite."
"Yeah, right, you've barely started, you dimwit slowpoke. You're a terrible liar."
Nell felt like banging her head against a wall. Unfortunately, there were no walls handy; besides, Eric would notice.
"Since when do you care what Eric thinks of you, stupid?"
"AHHHHH!"
Nell swung her foot harder. It really wasn't helping. Neither were trying to take deep, slow breaths, or swiveling her chair back and forth. And Eric was cocking an eyebrow at her now. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she felt like her body was about to explode. I can't even put a coherent thought together. Nell's brain was a mess of conflicting ideas backgrounded by several songs she had heard on the radio which were trying to drown out the buzzing of the Ops lights and Eric's breathing and Sam's heavy footsteps downstairs. Just trying to reign it in was pushing her stressed and weary body to the limit. Sobs started welling in her throat. Why oh why do I always have to start crying? I will not cry in front of Eric. I will not cry in front of Eric IwillnotcryinfrontofEric...
"Nell, are you sure you're alright?"
"Fine. I'll be...back inaminute."
Nell jumped out of her chair and ran through the door of Ops. As she pounded down the stairs, Sam asked, "Are you okay, Nell?"
"Fine," she barely managed to say.
"That doesn't look too fine to me," Deeks hissed to Sam.
"I heard that!" Nell yelled. She looked around for some semblance of privacy before ducking into the ladies restroom. She didn't bother to turn on the light but collapsed against a wall in the darkness and buried her face in her arms.
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